by Tia Siren
“He could’ve shown you on Monday,” he said, a frigid quality to his voice that had even Owen tensing. “I didn’t even know you went out of the house, Owen. You know you are not supposed to do that.”
“I just saw Jenna on the front porch with Julie’s mom,” Owen said defensively. He jutted out his jaw at Derek. “I wanted Jenna to see my pictures now.”
“Another time, Owen. We’re about to eat lunch.”
“But—”
“I said no,” Derek snapped. “That’s that. I am not going to repeat myself.”
Owen and I flinched back. His tiny shoulder quivered beneath my fingers before he let out a small cry. Jerking away from me, he darted into the house with surprising speed and grace. The sliding glass door bounced shut.
“Damn it,” Derek muttered, rubbing a hand over his face in visible distress. “Look, I didn’t mean—”
Anger rushed through me so fast that my heart couldn’t keep up. The patio boards were hot under my bare feet as I walked around the small glass table to jam a finger into Derek’s chest.
“You look,” I said as coldly as possible. “That is your son. You can talk to me that way and act like a prick, but don’t turn your son into a version of yourself.”
Derek’s eyes narrowed at that. “A version of myself?” he repeated dubiously. He grabbed the finger I had buried in the strong muscles of his chest. “I’m doing the best I can given what I’m going through. You’re not a parent, so don’t lecture me on how to raise my child.”
“You don’t have to be a parent to realize that your words affect people,” I said. “If you have a problem with me coming around, then why do you have me come over here at night to watch your kid?”
I had him, and he knew it. The frustration boiled in Derek’s face as he let go of my finger and took a step back to put space between us.
“Because I don’t trust you,” he said. “I don’t trust you at all just like you don’t trust me, but damn it to hell, I want you. That’s all I fucking know.”
Those words washed over me in a crushing wave. He wanted me. Derek Summers wanted me. Sweat gathered in the palms of my hands. The logical part of my brain cautioned that none of this was smart. The last time I had gotten involved with an emotionally cold man, I’d ended up fleeing across the country with only what I could grab in thirty minutes.
Still, that searing heat in my stomach roared to life. I wanted him too. I wanted to feel the weight of that muscular body pressing up against mine. I felt torn between wanting to run away and wanting to stay rooted right there as Derek rubbed at his eyes with a helpless hand. He didn’t even bother hiding the desire there now.
“I want you too,” I whispered, and he stiffened visibly at that. “Maybe we could—”
“No,” Derek said, shaking his head vehemently. “You don’t want to even start getting involved with a man like me. You’ve already been roughed up. I’ll do it to you too, just not the physical part.”
I winced at that. “How do you know I was roughed up?”
“I’m not blind or ignorant,” he said, and he gave me a sad smile. “I see it more than you think. I’ve seen it too much that it has made me cold.”
I crossed my arms to fend off the sudden chill I felt seeping through my skin. This was the last thing I wanted to discuss with Derek. I just wanted things to go forward regardless of the past. Frustrated, I glanced up at Owen’s bedroom window, where I saw his little face dart out of view the moment I looked up.
“It wouldn’t hurt us to get it out of our system,” I said. I wanted it out of my system—the sheer temptation of wondering what it was like. I wanted to claw it right out of my skin.
“You’re so young,” Derek said, a whimsical tone to his voice. “You think sleeping with me will make everything better in your world?”
“It’d help me sleep at night. It’d help you too.”
He looked away at the comment. “Maybe,” he said, picking up the lid of the grill. Gray smoke came billowing out. “It can’t happen, Jenna. It won’t solve anything for either one of us. I’m not going to take advantage of you. I’m not that big of a prick.”
I clenched my jaw while Derek continued to scrape the grill as casually as possible. A small part of me agreed that he was right. It wouldn’t solve anything. Still, I felt a surge of defiance go through me.
“I’ll see you Monday night,” I said. He turned to look at me with an arched eyebrow. I pointed up to Owen’s bedroom window. “You might want to go get your son. He’s listening in on us.”
I stepped off the patio without waiting for a reply. I swung my legs over the fence separating our yards to land on the wet grass. What I was about to do was completely stupid and foolish. I knew it, but I didn’t care.
Derek got under my skin. It was time to get under his.
The opportunity arose when I caught sight of movement in Derek’s bedroom later that night. Don’t do this, Jenna. This is stupid. I couldn’t help it though. Indignant anger still radiated in me, and it mingled with the desire bubbling inside. I had to do something to release the tension.
I hesitated for a moment before sliding my shorts and underwear off. How did I end up in this sort of game in the first place? Crawling to the center of my bed, I let my head fall back onto the pillows as my thighs quivered. I ran my hand down my stomach ever so slowly, arching my back a little as if I were lost in ecstasy. I rolled the pads of my fingertips over my clit and cried out as pleasure seared through me. It felt as if it had been forever. Hot summer air puffed over me in a slow and lingering breeze that came through the open window, and my thoughts were scattered everywhere, trying to figure out how to appear sensual in the middle of bringing myself over the edge.
I turned my head to glance at the mirror facing my bedroom window as I rimmed myself, playing with the deep pulsing that was rolling far inside my stomach. I didn’t want my hand. I wanted him, so damn badly that it left me willing to bare myself to him.
My heart slammed into my ribcage when Derek’s face appeared in the mirror. His eyes were dark with desire while the curtain to his room flapped against his face in the late-night breeze.
He’s watching. Smugness filled me at the thought, and I slid my fingers into my body, lifting my hips a little to meet the pressure. A cry left my lips, and I forced myself to watch him, letting him know that everything I did was because I wanted him to watch. Pleasure danced across my stomach as my nipples grew tight and tender.
I reached up and squeezed my breast as I increased the pace, fucking myself faster, harder…just the way I loved it. The bundle of nerves between my legs twitched helplessly in pleasure as I moaned loudly and came. I gasped for air as I watched Derek’s face in the mirror. He was impossibly handsome. It was so easy to bring myself to an orgasm knowing he was watching, wanting me.
He licked his lips once before drawing the curtains shut violently.
I slid off the bed to gather my clothes from the ground. Tomorrow would undoubtedly be an interesting day. A smile played at the edge of my lips at the thought of how he would react. What the hell were we doing?
Chapter Ten
Derek
I had no idea what to expect when Jenna arrived on Monday evening with a pizza in hand, much to Owen’s delight. I had seen that challenging glint in her eyes when she had walked away from me yesterday evening. My bedroom window had been open too when I first heard that gasp of feminine pleasure on the late-night breeze. It was jealousy that had me looking through the window, expecting to find some random man in there. I hadn’t expected Jenna to be alone in the middle of her bed with her tanned legs bent at the knee. Her hand had been moving rhythmically in a slow circle between her legs.
Fuck. It had been too much to watch, but I hadn’t been able to tear my eyes away from her until she’d let out a shudder and stopped. There was no doubt in my mind that she had done it on purpose. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her, but I couldn’t do it even if my body ached for her in every w
ay possible. Not after Sidney. Not after knowing Jenna had come from a violent relationship prior to buying the house next to mine.
And it was my fault for doing what I’d done with Jenna in clear view. The moment had felt too good to ignore. The need for Jenna had grown unbearable, and it was driving me crazy.
I slipped on my bulletproof vest while I listened to Jenna and Owen’s voices as they talked over pizza in the kitchen. Even if I wanted to slip myself between those legs, I couldn’t do it. Something cold and hard fell over me whenever I thought of it.
The downstairs phone shrilled twice before Jenna answered it. A few seconds of tense silence followed before I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.
“Okay,” Jenna said tightly. “I’ll get him.”
My eyes slipped closed at that. Why did she have to call right before I went to work, and while Jenna was babysitting our son?
“Derek,” Jenna called out, knocking on the bedroom door. “There’s a woman named Sidney on the phone for you.”
“Fuck,” I groaned, and I opened the door. Jenna immediately handed the phone over to me with a grimace. “What is it, Sidney?”
I shut the door the second Jenna took a step back. The familiar sound of waves crashing down on the beach filled my ear. Sidney was sitting out on the back patio, what used to my back patio, and undoubtedly enjoying a nice glass of wine with the sunset in view.
“Who’s the woman answering your phone?” Sidney asked, her sugary voice making me flinch. “You don’t have a new woman in your life, do you, Derek?”
“No,” I replied shortly. “She’s the babysitter while I go to my job to pay for your every want and need. What do you want?”
“We need to discuss Owen coming out here for a weekend,” she said. “It’s been almost two months. I miss my baby boy.”
“He just started school a few weeks ago.” And I doubted she missed Owen that much. She hadn’t even asked to talk to him first. She’d wanted to know who Jenna was. I knew Sidney better than a lot of the people around her. “I’d have to look into his class schedule. We can talk about that later.”
“Fine,” Sidney said flatly. “Who is the woman answering your phone?”
“I already told you,” I snapped, yanking the bedroom door open. “She’s the babysitter because I have to work at night. I’ll get in touch with you about Owen going up to see you.”
I hung up before Sidney could reply, not in the mood to hear her bullshit about me being with another woman. I wasn’t stupid. I knew a man named Antonio had moved in with Sidney a few months ago thanks to the cable company sending me the bill with Antonio’s information on it. Tossing the handset onto a bookshelf, I made my way down the stairs to find Owen sitting in front of the television with his Xbox turned on. Jenna was in the kitchen, throwing away the pizza box, when I walked in to grab my thermos of coffee. She straightened to look at me.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t realize who was—”
“Don’t answer my phone,” I snapped. Snatching up my thermos, which was full of coffee thanks to Jenna, I grabbed my wallet and keys as well. “My ex-wife is a bitch. The less you talk to her, the better your life is. Trust me.”
Jenna blinked in rapid succession several times. “I won’t answer the phone then. You don’t have be such a grumpy ass about it.”
“I’m this way for a reason,” I said. “Stay clear if you don’t want to deal with it.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
I didn’t bother responding. I needed fresh air. I needed to get out of the house and away from Jenna. After pressing a dodging kiss to Owen’s head, I climbed into my truck with a relieved sigh at the prospect of driving for thirty minutes in peace and quiet. The drive did little to ease the tension out of me though.
I sat down behind my desk ten minutes before my scheduled shift only to find Marcus pausing by my cubicle on his way out.
“The frown on your face suggests you didn’t have any time to relax like I’d hoped,” he commented darkly. “Summers—”
“I know,” I said, pulling my keyboard close. “I need to consider therapy or whatever shit you want me to do. I’ll do it if you tell me to.”
“I am telling you to do it,” he said. “I get that you are going through a divorce, and you’re bitter about it, but I’m starting to think your job isn’t helping either.”
“Probably not.” I looked up at Marcus with a small grin. “You can’t say anything though. I’ve caught some criminals that detectives have been trying to catch for years.”
“That part is true, but I know how tough your jobs are. It’s not easy to see the things you see and carry on as normal a life as possible. There’s something else going on with you too.”
Jenna. My throat clenched. That was what was going on with me. I wanted Jenna, but I had no fucking clue how to even maintain a relationship anymore. I had a gut feeling that Jenna had no idea either. I couldn’t stand the thought of some man laying his hands on her, or any woman to be accurate, but I was no better than him.
“Nothing is going on with me,” I said. “Have a good night, Chief.”
Sensing the end of the conversation, Marcus walked away with a weary sigh. He didn’t bother to have another conversation the next morning either when the day shifts started. I drove home in the dark with a cup of coffee in hand. It was 4:10 a.m. when I walked through the front door as quietly as possible. This time the kitchen light was off, and I found Jenna curled up on the couch with a book tucked against her chest protectively.
I paused beside the couch in the dim light from the lamp in the corner of the living room. Her long blond hair was pulled back in a braid that twisted about her shoulder. Crouching alongside her, I reached forward to tug her braided hair free. The softness surprised me. My fingers gently stroked the silky strands. Her tanned and freckled face was completely relaxed as she slept on, oblivious to me right next to her.
My fingers traced a path down the curve of her slender arm before reaching her fingertips. I sucked in a deep breath to control the blood raging through me at the softness of her skin. Up close, I could smell that vanilla perfume she wore, and it smelt incredible. I wanted to bury my nose in her skin just to inhale that scent, because it fit her perfectly.
Jenna stirred slightly then. Before I could move away, her fingers curled over my wrist to keep my hand where it rested on the soft curve of her waist. I swallowed thickly when I looked up to find Jenna’s eyes wide open.
“That feels good,” she whispered, voice thick with sleep. “Keep going.”
My skin tightened at the invitation. I felt the heat radiating off her petite frame. It’d be so easy to pull that blanket back and find my way between those legs. It’d be so easy to kiss her again.
“I can’t,” I whispered. “We can’t—”
“Just shut up and kiss me,” Jenna said.
She didn’t give me a chance to argue. In one smooth motion, she leaned up on an elbow to press her mouth against mine in a hot kiss that instantly burned me. I kissed her back just as greedily, weeks of pent-up lust unleashing between us. A small voice cautioned that I had wanted to stay clear of something like this, but I couldn’t resist it any longer. I had to have this woman even if I regretted it.
Jenna’s hands smoothed around the back of my neck before she buried her fingers in my hair. Her teeth nipped at my lower lip. I growled against her lips and started to climb over her on the couch before Owen’s sleepy voice called out.
“Dad? Is that you?”
The both of us froze at the sound of feet padding softly in the direction of the living room. I pulled back to look down at Jenna as both our chests heaved in an effort to control ourselves. Her lips were swollen from our kisses. The centers of her cheeks were flushed.
I scrambled off Jenna right as Owen emerged from the dark hallway. He rubbed at his eyes sleepily, one side of his hair sticking up from sleeping in one position all night.
“What are you two doing?�
� Owen asked, looking at Jenna as she sat up hastily as well. “What time is it?”
“Way too early for you to be up,” I said. I scooped him into my arms. Nothing could ever replace the feeling of Owen resting against me with such ease and comfort.
I didn’t bother turning around to face Jenna as I carried Owen back up to bed for another few hours of much-needed sleep. He didn’t protest when I tucked him back into the warmth of his blankets. I lingered in the darkness of Owen’s room until my body calmed down from the rising heat.
It had to stop. I ran a hand through my hair out of frustration. It only took one kiss to hook me in without any hesitation. That was the effect Jenna had on me. It was only a matter of time before I caved in, and it was only a matter of time before one of us got hurt.
The sound and smell of coffee brewing filled the house. I closed Owen’s door quietly before facing Jenna in the kitchen. She had pulled her up into a bun while I’d been putting Owen to bed, but her ruby colored lips were still swollen, a reminder of what had nearly happened.
“We can’t keep letting this happen,” I said.
Jenna didn’t look up from studying the kitchen counter. “I know,” she said softly. She looked up at me. “What do you want to do then?”
“I honestly have no idea. Owen really enjoys you over here. You’re the only reliable babysitter I can find.”
“I like coming over here,” Jenna said. “I already told you it’s not a big deal if you are going to go down that path again.”
I sighed wearily. To keep distance between us, I used the kitchen counter as a barrier.
“Don’t you have goals you want to get done besides hanging around here?” I asked. “School? Another job?”
Something flashed in Jenna’s expression. She turned to grab two coffee mugs from the cupboard. “I have to have a job to go to school,” she said, pouring us both a cup. “I’ll go back eventually. I loved it.”
She slid a mug across the counter to me. I took it without hesitation. A headache started to pound in my head as I took a seat at the breakfast bar. Jenna leaned her elbows on the counter, and it gave me an opportunity to take in the swell of her breasts.
