His own parents’ had divorced when he was nine, and although Niall had been raised by a wonderful stepmother and loving Dad, he found it hard to love unconditionally. It soon became apparent during the early days of our relationship that he was not the hopeless romantic I had originally hoped for, but was in fact just hopeless at romance. You’d think that after receiving an incessant bundle of hand made paper objects, recycled goods and mis-matched cotton underwear sets from Gap, for Birthdays and Christmas for the umpteenth time, I should have given up then and there. I was not and never would be a hippy-chick, or the type of girl to wear men’s underwear - he liked that look - some women could carry it off. Personally I preferred to look like a female.
I’m all for caring for the environment, but occasionally, a girl wanted to receive a beautifully wrapped glitzy gift, full of tissue paper, bows and scented beads. Niall bought for himself - not for me - and inevitably got it wrong on every occasion.
There had been good times and when I fell pregnant with Finn, it seemed that the bad parts of us were worth putting up with, as the reward was so precious and worth waiting for. Unfortunately, Niall became even more introverted, with the arrival of his competition, as he complained, rather bitterly, about our son. It soon became apparent that he felt like he was constantly vying for my attention and he treated Finn as though he was the third person in our relationship, not an extension of it.
He started to become volatile, drink more and punish me both mentally and emotionally, to get a rise out of me. He hated the fact that I was still close-friends with Seb, so he made it his mission to separate us and become his ally instead. This happened for a while, as Sebastian, Niall and Gino, my sister’s husband got together for boy’s-nights-out. But I always knew that the reality was, I couldn’t have it every-way. I couldn’t have Seb as my best friend and Niall as my partner. It wasn’t fair to him. So I distanced myself from Sebastian to help my relationship. It was an unspoken acknowledgement from Sebastian that this was occurring and he understandingly went with the flow.
Niall’s behaviour towards me, however, worsened, and the belittling and nasty comments continued. Looking back I don’t know how I stayed so long but I was deeply hurt that despite putting up with his crap for years for Finn’s sake, he could make such a fool out of me.
Sebastian visited me, during the period after I’d thrown Niall out; it wasn’t one of my shining moments. I’d looked ghastly; my eyes were so red from crying that I looked like I had a bad case of eczema, my hair hadn’t been washed in days and I was visibly shattered; definitely not the Lulu he knew and respected. But that didn’t seem to matter to him; he was the epitome of calmness and rationalism. He was just what I needed in my darkest hour.
He didn’t come in and shout, like my Dad had.
He didn’t order me to frame myself, like my Sister had and he didn’t say I told you so like my Mum did - although I’m sure he was desperate to do all three, at the same time. He just quietly listened to me, made copious amounts of tea, played with Finn - so I could shower and sleep - and then eventually he sat me down with my bills, helped me figure out a plan, and wrote me a considerable cheque to cover things for a while.
“That should get you through the next few months Chick. It’ll help - at least so that you can focus on my Godson and getting yourself a job.”
He really had been my hero, I thought, bringing myself back to the present to focus upon fixing the streaks that were annoyingly appearing on my legs. After pulling on an old faithful nightie I used purely for tanning purposes; I crawl into bed. The exhaustion of the week, and tonight’s events, hit me like a freight train. Amazing how the ball of anger still fires up in my belly when I think about Niall and the way he treated me, and most importantly his own son. Sebastian’s visit had brought everything back to the fore. I was finding it hard not to compare the two men and Sebastian was winning hands down. At least Niall was attempting to make a go of being a Dad to Finn - finally. Let’s hope it continued, because despite all his faults, I firmly believed that Finn needed to have Niall in his life; every child needs their father, no matter how flakey they were. Its the only reason I maintain any form of contact with him.
As I climb into bed continuing my trail of thoughts, the sudden and vivid image of Sebastian in that bed next to me, gives me an ache low down in the pit of my belly, reminiscent of a night years ago in the Cave bar. I certainly hadn’t thought about that night in a long time - the night that changed everything. Hell - I haven’t thought about anyone like this in a long time - and certainly not my latest interest, Leo.
I am certain though that the direction in which my thoughts are heading has nothing to do with friendship and everything to do with pure unadulterated lust. I had just seen Sebastian in a totally different light and could still feel the tingles from the way he’d looked at me before leaving.
“Everything happens for a reason Hun,” I tell myself quietly, looking up at the ceiling above, as I bite my lip and ponder on the idea forming in my naughty mind.
What if I asked Sebastian to be ‘The One’ - the one to break me in, so to speak, and spend the night with me?
It would be one night of amazing passion, with someone I trust. I know he wouldn’t want more - he never did. His sexual reputation was well-known by most so I could be guaranteed a fabulous night - something I’m so overdue. No, I’d definitely not have any fear of him wanting a relationship afterwards - he didn’t do relationships and that suited me fine - I only had room for one little man in my life!
Maybe then, I could get on with work and being a mother without feeling so bloody horny all the time. I don’t need a man! I just need a man for the night. I needed a rebound fuck.
Could I do it? Really? Put myself out there like that?
I’d rather the first time since my break-up be with someone who cares about me enough to take it slow. The more I think about it, the more I wonder why I hadn’t considered this before. He was the perfect choice for one night of desperately required, unadulterated passion. Could I really proposition the one true male friend in my life; would he say yes?
What if he didn’t want me?
I twist my hair loosely around my finger, considering all scenarios’ and begin to elaborate upon my initial concept. The more I think about it, the more I think to hell with it - and just put it out there - the worst thing that could happen would be he said no.
You’ll never find out unless you pose the question to him.
After several hours of supermarket shopping and a kid’s birthday party, I’m ready for some me time. Finn had had his face-painted in full camouflage, and stealth-like in his approach, held his toy Uzi at me in pure delight before releasing a loud monotone barrage of machine pistol fire - pretty much all afternoon!
I’m now happy to bury myself in a deep luxurious bubble bath to sooth my aching body. Looking back, I agreed with the mum and host of the party, perhaps the guns hadn’t been the best party bag gift. I grin to myself at the memory of my son’s overzealous re-en-action of Rambo whilst moisturising my body to within an inch of its life, and settle down at my silver, shabby chic dressing table. He was now happily settled at my parents’ for the night and I could selfishly enjoy getting ready for our big night out.
How nice to be able to spend more than five rushed minutes on my make-up. Usually, I prioritise Finn - whether it’s bathing, dressing and feeding - leaving little time to concentrate fully on my own appearance. Lippy was often applied in the car, but always applied. Lipstick wouldn’t save the world, but it certainly made it a better place and me feel human, the second I put it on.
I’d take full advantage of the extra time, and after half an hour, I could have given a Mac beautician a run for their money. Smokey lids made my eyes appear even bigger, and the dark green I’ve lined them with, brings out the same tone in my irises, accentuating the colour of wet moss, mixed with lime zest. I’ve gone for a dramatic look on the lips as well - red velveteen
- very Robert Palmer-esq. The result is actually pretty hot and I’m pleased. My chosen dress is a black fitted little number, which falls to mid calf. I’d bought it from Suzie’s boutique a few weeks before; I couldn’t afford it, but she’d insisted that it would be the staple little black dress in my wardrobe which would never date - she was right and my credit card would just have to take the hit.
As I step into the crêpe de chine fabric and slide it over my hips, I sigh as it clings to my body in all the right places. My skin literally groans in delight. The neckline is low enough to suit my curvy bust and the smart little peplum cleverly covers up my C-section bump, and enhances my petite waist. The only problem is going to be zipping it up.
Where was a man, when you needed one?
Struggling, I manage to drag it into place, but not without doing a complete contortionist act. I pair the dress with Kurt Geiger, ruby red suede platform stiletto’s, which add at least five inches to my 5ft 2 frame - and add a black suede diamante skull clutch. My legs look almost…well lengthy - thanks to the shoes and my fake tan - a huge task in itself, when they were a mere 27 inches long, hip to toe (believe me I’ve measured them many times, in the hope that they may have stretched). Oh to be 5ft 7 barefoot!
Staring at myself in the mirror, I hardly recognised myself. My eyes are shining, my long dark hair, gleams and tumbles in sexy waves around my face and down my back. All I need now is jewellery. Selecting a large crystal cocktail ring, I add a pair of simple drop earrings with Swarovski crystal balls at the base. They swing softly as I move and always make me feel feminine when I wear them. I decide to leave my neck bare, as I spray myself liberally with Gucci perfume, my signature scent - which ensures that I smell divine too. Right - I’m ready. Ready to offer my body to a certain male friend for the night.
“Lu it’s just me.” I hear Meg coo up the stairs. She is early, but it’s not a problem, as for once, things had gone to plan with my outfit.
“Hi Hun. I’ll be down in a minute, I’m just about ready. Grab a glass of wine, there’s an open bottle of Wolf Blass in the fridge and I’ll ring a taxi.”
Determined to remain calm, and focus on the matter at hand, I continue grabbing the necessities required for the night and shove them hurriedly into my clutch. I’m a bit jittery and spending much more time on my appearance than I normally would. Then again I don’t usually have the luxury to do so.
Well that’s what I’m telling myself is the reason. Deep down, I know it’s for a certain familiar and delicious male friend and I’m apprehensive as to how I’ll react in his vicinity.
Would tonight be the night, to pose my question to him?
My hands grow clammy at the prospect. Downstairs, I can hear Meg is watching Coronation Street, her fav soap, and as I carefully tackle the stairs in my heels, the theme tune rolls in. Entering the lounge, I notice her wineglass is already drained. She was on a mission.
“Hey Babe. Wow look at you! You look fab… u… lous!” she shouts, pronouncing every syllable. I smile, pleased with her reaction and do a little spin.
“Yes - we are two incredibly hot Mamas, ready to hit the town,” I laugh at her.
She looks great. Her blonde, wavy hair has been freshly highlighted and sits like an angelic beacon against her white, sixties style tunic dress. She really does look good for thirty-seven. It seems that her extremely recent and relatively civil divorce from her ex-husband Bri, had really done wonders for her complexion.
We had clicked from the minute she moved into our street, the week before Niall walked, and then, subsequently been thrown out! Since then, our mutual circumstances and love of shoes and wine, combined with bitching about the ex’s had resulted in a firm friendship, very different to my friendship with my best pal, Abby, and my closeness with my sister, Suzie. Meg understood what it was like to be a single-mother. She had two daughters, a fourteen-year old - Lexie - and a ten-year old Phoebe, both from her first marriage. She worked as a PA to a Director at the local Council but had also been a hairdresser in the past, hence the great hairdo. I really respected the fact that she managed to hold down a pretty demanding job three days a week, run a house and cope with two children. I honestly didn’t know how she did it, as I struggled with just one child and didn’t have the drama of a teenager to contend with.
We had sort of hung onto each other in our time of need and the fact that many of our friends were in relationships had meant us spending more time together. I genuinely liked her and felt bad for having a negative thought about her yesterday. Who am I to put a claim to Sebastian Silver, when really, all we had ever been was friends? Meg was a great girl and she deserved a good man like Sebastian. I just didn’t want it to be him.
A loud beep coming from outside interrupts my thoughts, and grabbing my bag and keys, I turn off the TV and usher Meg out of the door.
“Come on chickadee. Let’s go do some damage.”
We land at Lord’s train station full of excitement and the buzz of what’s to come, and head off in the direction of our gathering. It was now or never. Do I just keep going or do I tell Meg to head onto the Champagne Bar without me and that I’d see her there soon, once I’ve concluded some business?
Bloody Niall.
I choose the latter and after a lot of persuading, she manages to convince me that she will not let me climb into the jaws of the lion alone, and would be my second set of eyes. Looking at her own big blue orbs - the steely glint of stubbornness clear in them, I resign myself to her insistence and laughingly agree, and on teetering heels we make our way to the pub Niall was known to frequent, The Lazy Lounge.
The second we walk through the doors, he invades my space.
“Lucia - you came.” Niall stands from his sofa’d, seating area.
I immediately assess the situation and count four other men watching over Meg and I with an interested gaze. Considering the bar was more of a drop-in after work, early doors and watch the sport, over a pint, kind of place, we had become the new blood. There were no other women in their group and it was Saturday so the bar was pretty empty for a City pub.
“What can I get you both - Meg is it?” Niall pipes up, charming in his comfort zone. He’s dressed casually in a fitted t-shirt and chinos already sporting a beer flush and glaze to his eyes.
I rudely interrupt Meg, as she’s about to place her order. We are not here to mingle or share a cocktail with my ex. Let’s talk and get the hell out of there!
“No thanks Niall. We’re on our way to the Champagne Bar. What did you want to talk to me about, face to face, that you couldn’t do over the phone?” I use my hands outstretched to support the words, demonstrating the silliness of his over-the-top texting.
Annoyingly, he ignores my obvious desire to move things along quickly, and instead, steps aside courteously opening his arm in welcome, for Meg to take his seat. One-by-one, and excruciatingly slowly, he introduces her to his mates. She happily concedes, raising her brows at me in an ‘I’ll just go with the flow then, yeah? kind of way - and recognising the three-men-to-one-woman ratio is utterly in her element. So much for watching my back!
Niall guides me over towards a darkened corner at the back of their seating space. I cross my arms over my chest in an attempt to hide my cleavage from his prying eyes but it only encourages his wandering leer. I feel stripped-bare.
I’d forgotten how seedy he could be.
“You look great, Lu. Smokin!”
He then turns to his mates - none of which I recognise - for their opinions.
“Doesn’t she lads?” I should be flattered as they all give a resounding Yes, with beaming smiles and appreciative glances but I just feel grubby.
Especially when one of them says, “Miles hotter than Karen.”
Niall muses this comment and considers me up and down, taking agonising time over my legs, hips, breasts, and back up to my face, by which time I’ve almost reached boiling point.
The fucking cheek of the man
! I am the mother of his child. I deserve so much better than this.
He agrees with his mate, throwing a reply over his shoulder, whilst still assessing my every move.
“You’re right there, Dave. Not sure what I was thinking.”
Through clenched teeth, I remain outwardly calm and collected and accept the rather blurred compliment.
“Thanks. Now. What’s this about Finn?”
“Come on Babe. Have that drink? I’m sure your banker boyfriend won’t mind.” His chuckle is malicious and I shake my head at his gall.
“You don’t want to talk at all do you? You’ve used our son to get me here just to ruin my night?”
The manipulation techniques that he’d employed throughout our whole relationship were continuing to work on me, even after we’d split and I’m not sure who I’m more annoyed with him or myself!
“Don’t be daft Lucia. I just wanted to see you, that’s all. I miss you.” The casual tone of his slightly slurred voice irritates me even further.
“Look, I don’t have time for this. It’s my Sister’s birthday, Seb’s home and the whole team’s out tonight.” His eyes squint at the mention of Sebastian’s name.
“Sebastian’s back is he?” his top lip curls unattractively. “Didn’t know. Thought he’d gone onto pastures new and given up sniffing around where he isn’t wanted.” Leering possessively towards me, I push him off with the full force of both my palms.
The One Awakened: Book 1 in The One Trilogy Page 5
