We ended the call on that note. I stood there in thought while tapping the phone against the palm of my hand. I was confused about what to do, but I sure as hell didn’t want to turn away money or mess up an opportunity to become a well-known artist. There was also something else that weighed heavily on my mind. I was a little bit attracted to Sasha. She was a beautiful black woman who was very likable, hilarious, and fun to be around. Her natural fro was beautiful, and her curves weren’t nothing to play with. I could tell she worked out a lot, like I did, and I appreciated how knowledgeable she was about art. She had spent a lot of time with me and Keith while we were in New York. I liked her style, and I’d been a little sad when we all parted ways. I wondered if Keith had seen me checking her out. Had he noticed lust in my eyes? I was glad that she lived in New York and I was miles and miles away in St. Louis. If she lived here, God help me. I would probably be at her doorstep right now, trying to see what these feelings would lead to.
The crazy thing was, I thought that I was done with women, especially after what had happened between me and crazy-ass Lexi. After she wound up trying to kill Keith, I had promised myself that I would never lie to him again about my feelings. But there I was again, holding back on how I felt inside. I guessed it wasn’t a biggie, and I didn’t think it was necessary to mention a simple crush. The bottom line was, I loved Keith to death. And one day I intended to be his wife.
As I entered the upstairs studio with a breakfast tray in my hands, I could see Keith sitting behind a tall canvas. His legs straddled a stool, and with his shirt off, the numerous tattoos covering his biceps were on display. I had myself one of the sexiest men in the world. I could kick myself for thinking about being with another woman, but seeing him in his boxers surely made my thoughts switch gears. I stepped forward, and the second he saw me with the tray in my hands, a wide smile appeared on his face. His pearly whites showed, and he reached out for my waist. I placed the tray on the floor, then sat on his lap.
“You are so sweet,” he said. “But if you plan on interrupting me, you’d better make sure you’re bringing me more than just breakfast.”
“I’m bringing you breakfast and then some. Take whatever you wish.... I’m all yours.”
Keith planted a soft kiss on my shoulder, then reached for the glass of orange juice on the tray. As he took a sip, I looked at the painting he’d been working on since we’d gotten back from our trip. It was an abstract design that displayed numerous bright colors. I loved it.
“Your painting is coming along well. I’m feeling the abstract look of this, and it’s good to see you venture away from what you normally do,” I remarked.
“I’m trying,” he said. “New York was a wake-up call for me, and if I want to compete, I have to do much better.”
“Me too. You know I’ve been thinking about stepping up my game too. After the call I got today from Sasha, I think I may let her help me out. I’ll see what she can do to get me to the next level.”
Keith shot down my comment real quick. “I doubt that she’ll be able to help you, Trina, so don’t get your hopes up too high. People are always talking about what they can do to help your career, and most of the time, all it is a bunch of talk. I sensed that from her. If you ask me, she talks too damn much.”
I was surprised by Keith’s response, but he’d been this way lately. Kind of on edge a little and real blunt about certain things.
“I get that some people make promises that they can’t keep, but I have a feeling that she’s genuine.”
“Genuine? No, I wasn’t feeling a genuine person when she was around. As a matter of fact, the word genuine was far from what I felt.”
I released a deep sigh, then continued. “I’m not sure what you’re sensing about her, but whatever it is, you didn’t seem that way while we were in New York. You were talking just as much as she was, and the two of you seemed to get along just fine.”
“I know how to handle myself when it comes to business, but I didn’t go to New York to make new friends. I just don’t want to see you get your hopes up too high, and maybe you should focus more on trying to enhance your skills first.”
Keith had always believed that he was more talented than I was. Whether that was true or not, I didn’t like where we were going with this conversation.
“I do need to improve my work, but so do you. And when all is said and done, if I can get paid for my work, I will.”
I stood, only for Keith to pull me back down on his lap. “Listen,” he said. “I’m not trying to insult your work or anything like that, okay? There’s just something about that Sasha chick that didn’t sit right with me. She seemed very nosy. And I didn’t know that you had given her your phone number.”
“I gave it to her because she said she could help me. I didn’t get the same vibes from her as you did, but if I ever sense that something isn’t right with her, you know I’ll back off.”
“Just like you did with Evelyn, huh? She hasn’t been out of the hospital for two weeks, and she’s already causing trouble.”
A frown covered my face. I surely didn’t know how we’d got from Sasha to Evelyn. It seemed like Keith was purposely trying to kick up an argument with me.
“How is Evelyn causing trouble? What has she done now?”
“I’ll let her tell you all about it. I’m sure she will, but then again, maybe she won’t remember to tell you that she told my parents you were bisexual.”
“What?” I shouted. “When . . .? Why would she tell your parents that?”
“She met with them to discuss that situation with Bryson. During their conversation, she felt that it was necessary to mention that you were bisexual. My mother called me, and so did Bryson. I’ve had it with your conniving-ass BFF, and I wish you would wake up when it comes to her. She is trouble. When will you and Kayla ever learn?”
I was shocked that Evelyn would bring up my name while talking to Keith’s parents. What in the hell was she up to now? I couldn’t wait to call her, but for now, I had to find out what Keith’s response was to his parents.
“I will deal with Evelyn later, but what did you tell your mother?”
“I told her the truth. I don’t want you to ever feel as if you have to cover up who you are, and I’m not ashamed of the woman I fell in love with.”
His answer put a smile on my face. I was so lucky to have a man like Keith in my corner.
“I love you too, and thanks for keeping it real with her. Did she say anything after that?”
“She did, but I don’t want to talk about it right now. What I want to do is eat breakfast before it gets cold and get busy again with painting. I also want to go to the fitness center to work out, but only after we get a little workout here first.”
“Count me in, as always.”
We ate breakfast, scratched sex for now, and then changed to go to the gym. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Keith’s mother now thought about me. Some people had no love for individuals like me, and even though Bryson was who he was, his mother didn’t seem like she was the type who would embrace something like this with open arms. If she ever asked me what the deal was, I wouldn’t deny it. And if her feelings about me had changed, so be it.
Meanwhile, I was highly upset with Evelyn for putting my business out there. While Keith was upstairs, putting on his tennis shoes, I went downstairs to call her. She answered the phone, sounding as upbeat as ever.
“It’s funny that you called,” she said. “I was just at Foot Locker, trying to decide what size shoe you wear. I saw these cute tennis shoes that have your name written all over them. They’re only eighty bucks, and they’re green, gray, and navy. Are you still a size eight, or have your feet grown?”
“I wear a size nine, but aside from the tennis shoes, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure. What’s on your mind?”
“Why did you tell Keith’s parents I was bisexual? That’s none of their business. If I wanted them to know, I would have told them myself
.”
“I get that, but the truth is, it slipped. I didn’t mean to say anything about you, but as I was talking to them about Bryson accepting who he is, I accidentally mentioned your name. I apologize, but at the same time, if you were or if you still are bisexual, I don’t want you to be ashamed of it. You kept your secret long enough, and to hell with Keith’s parents if they don’t approve. That mother of his is a real bitch. I don’t see how you’ve been able to get along with a woman like that.”
Evelyn was trying to change the subject, but she was right about his parents. To hell with their feelings about me.
“I’m not ashamed of who I am, but that doesn’t mean that you have to spread my business to the whole world. Keith’s mother and I get along very well, so please don’t refer to her as a bitch. You must have done or said something to her that really pissed her off. You also never told me that you were planning to meet with them about your situation with Bryson. How did that turn out?”
“All I can say is well,” Evelyn replied. “It turned out very well, and everything worked out for the best. I can’t say much more than that, because of a gag order, but I’m sure Keith will provide you with more details.”
“I’m sure he will too. Meanwhile, get back to whatever you were doing, and we’ll chat later. Glad you’re feeling better.”
“Much better. And when you have time, I want to take you and Kayla to dinner. It’s the least I can do, so let me know what you’re up to this Sunday. I know church isn’t on your agenda, but maybe some time after two or three will work.”
“Why are you over there trying to throw shade? Church isn’t on my agenda, and I’m sure it’s not on yours, either, you sinner. ”
Evelyn laughed. “Aren’t we all? But you’re right. It’s not on my agenda. But I serve the same God as you. He’s sho’ ’nough been good to me, and I’m thankful for my new blessings.”
I didn’t bother to reply about her new blessings. Evelyn had things twisted. It was obvious that she’d managed to swindle some money out of Keith’s parents. I wanted to know how much, so on the way to the gym with Keith, I asked him if he knew.
“I know, but I’m not supposed to talk about it. I’m so angry about the whole thing, and I’m sick and tired of my parents bailing Bryson out of these situations. We made up after the fight, but certain things will never be forgotten. I don’t like how he treated you, and he has no respect for our parents.”
“I know how you feel about him. I feel the same way about Evelyn. She has a big mouth, and I told her that I didn’t appreciate her telling your parents about me. But it is what it is. I just hope that they don’t look at me differently now.”
Keith didn’t respond.
I was sure he was holding back on what his mother now thought of me, but the past was the past. I couldn’t do anything to change who I was, but I was worried about speaking of my sexual desires for women as if they no longer existed. There was something stirring inside of me again. First, there were my surprising feelings for Sasha. And when we got to the gym, I jogged on the treadmill and observed a woman’s nice, heart-shaped ass in front of me. Keith jogged beside me, and even though I’d seen him take a quick glance at her butt, my eyes were glued to it more than his were. I tried to play it off by watching the TV mounted on the wall, but my eyes kept traveling back to the same place—her ass. Dirty thoughts swam in my head, and I visualized her ass cheeks spread across my face. I was so disturbed by what I was feeling that I stopped the treadmill to go cool off.
“Where are you going?” Keith asked, still jogging. I looked at the sweat dripping from his sexy body, and all I could think was, Shame on me.
“I need some water. I also want to work with the weights, so I’ll be over there.”
“Give me twenty or so more minutes on the treadmill and I’ll join you.”
He continued his workout on the treadmill, while I moved on over to the weights. I kept taking peeks at the beautiful woman, and when she got off the treadmill, I saw her walk over to a man who was doing sit-ups on a mat. They kissed, and a few minutes later they left together. Out of sight, out of mind. I was left thinking about my relationship with Keith. I certainly didn’t want to lose him, but how long would I be able to curb my desires?
3
Kayla
I seriously thought I’d gotten rid of my problem. After divorcing Cedric, I had figured my little world would be peachy keen. But now I had a bigger issue to deal with—drinking too much alcohol. It had started off as a casual thing. Then I had found myself drinking just to take away the pain. The pain had never really gone away, especially since this thing with Jacoby reaching out to Paula Daniels for her to kill Cedric was still fresh in my head. I wished like hell that she hadn’t followed through with the plan. Jacoby said he had tried to stop her from shooting Cedric, but by then her mind had been made up and she’d been too far gone. I was on edge every time Cedric stopped by. He kept questioning me about my demeanor, but I didn’t have the guts or the courage to tell him that Jacoby had been involved in planning his demise.
As for Jacoby, he seemed to be doing much better than I was. But there was no doubt that he was just as worried as I was about Cedric finding out the truth. We knew what kind of damage Cedric could do if he ever found out, and there was no question in my mind that he would have Jacoby arrested. In no way could I see my son in jail. He wasn’t that kind of kid, and he didn’t deserve to be put behind bars. The other prisoners would eat him alive, and it made me sick to my stomach when I thought about my baby being in a place like that. At the end of the day, I viewed this as being my fault. Had I handled my business with Cedric a long time ago and divorced him when he first cheated on me, we wouldn’t be in this predicament right now. But for many years, I had held on for the wrong reasons. I’d caused my son more damage than I’d realized. He’d felt as if he didn’t have a choice, and I totally understood why he’d wanted Cedric dead.
Jacoby had felt that I was weak and that he needed to stand up for me. Now I had to stand up for him too. If I had to lie and say that I was the one who had put him up to it, I would. I would go that far and do jail time. I was prepared for wherever the chips fell, but meanwhile, I needed something to help calm my nerves and enable me to cope with all that was unfolding around me. For now, alcohol was, indeed, my best friend. I was afraid to talk to Trina or Evelyn about my problems, and I did my best to keep up a good front. They both thought that from the outside looking in, my life was still perfect, even without Cedric. I had money to do whatever, a son who loved me to death, an ex who now respected me, and two friends who were as close to me as sisters. After all that had happened, they were still like sisters to me. Evelyn had turned over a new leaf, and maybe it had taken her being on her deathbed to realize her mistakes. We all got those wake-up calls. It seemed as if hers had come right on time.
While Jacoby was at the mall with his girlfriend, Adrianne, I was at home, watching TV. My new condo was decked out, and I had recently hired an interior decorator to hook up my kitchen and hearth room. She had jazzed it up with a new color palette: olive green, tan, and white. My flat-screen TV hung above a wall-mounted fireplace, and an array of beautiful art covered the walls. All my furniture was traditional, and I was very particular about people coming over and putting their shoes on my sofas, especially Evelyn, who disrespected my place no matter where I lived. In the past, if she wasn’t somewhere in my home fucking Cedric, she was somewhere with her feet propped up on my furniture or with a lit cigarette. I had called her out on that mess too, and it was good to know that we were now on the same page.
She had called earlier to tell me she had something for me and was on her way over. I hadn’t seen her since I left her place the other day, and I didn’t mind her coming over. I was bored and needed someone to talk to. And with her being here, I wouldn’t think about drinking so much. It seemed like whenever I was alone, alcohol was the only thing on my mind.
With an empty glass in my hand, I looke
d at the clock on the wall. It was a little after two in the afternoon, and there I was, still in my pajamas. I figured I’d better go into my bedroom and put on some clothes, so I stood to go do just that. As I walked past the bar, I looked at the almost empty bottle of vodka. There was only a little swig left, so I decided to get another glass and finish it off. After pouring it, I tossed the liquid down my throat, then swallowed hard. My eyes watered from the burning sensation in my throat—a feeling that I had gotten used to. I felt a little more upbeat, so I turned on some music, which played throughout my condo, and listened to Jill Scott break it all down for me.
While singing along, I changed into a pair of tight jeans and a ribbed tank top that revealed my tiny nipples. I wasn’t in the mood for a bra, nor was I in the mood to put on any makeup. My dark skin was flawless, and I loved the way my short hair had grown on me. I kept it cut low and lined to perfection. Cedric hadn’t had anything nice to say to me when I first got it cut, but he had later admitted that it was the best thing I could have done to show off my round face and doe eyes. I appreciated his compliments more than he knew, especially since he had barely had anything nice to say to me when we were married. I had never thought we’d be able to get along as we did, but I guessed it was like that because we were no longer under the same roof.
As soon as I closed the blinds in my bedroom, the doorbell rang. I made my way to the door, thinking that it was Evelyn. Instead, it was Cedric. His pop-up visits annoyed me a little. Since his office and his new home were close by, he often stopped by to check on me and Jacoby. While Cedric was not Jacoby’s biological father, he still considered Jacoby his son.
I opened the door with a fake smile on my face. “It would be nice for you to call before coming over, Cedric. We’re not here all the time, and I would hate for you to waste gas.”
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