“So what now? Does he expect to share custody?” Elsa asked.
“I don’t know, Mom. To be honest, I haven’t even admitted to him that he is Jasper’s dad. I’m terrified of what he’ll do if he knows for certain.”
“He has rights, you know. You can’t hide the truth from him forever.”
“I know,” Mia acknowledged with a weary sigh. “But I’m afraid of just how far he’ll try to take those rights. I can’t fight someone like him in court. He’s from a wealthy family so money is no object if he decided to go for full custody of Jas. You know what will happen. He has enough money for his lawyers to track down every single person I knew before I fell pregnant. If they’re put on a stand in the family court, they won’t exactly paint a picture of the perfect mother, will they? And then there’s our financial position. We’re only just making ends meet, here. I can’t spare the funds for a protracted legal battle—not after all we’ve done to hold on to our home.”
Her mother put one hand on Mia’s shoulder. “Sweetheart, think about what’s important here. There’s no way to keep the truth a secret forever. If this is going to turn into a battle, you have to face it head-on. You can’t hide with your head in the sand. That’s exactly what your father did, and look where that left him—where it left us. This,” she gestured to the buildings and the land beyond, “it’s all just things. If you want to keep your son, you’re going to have to be prepared to fight for him.”
“But Mom, even if we sold another parcel of land, or even the entire complex, we’d have so little to work with. By the time we paid off the business loan…” Her voice trailed off as the helplessness of her situation struck her anew.
“Well, whatever we decide, we’ll do it together.”
Mia gave her mother a weak smile but deep down there was a deep-seated fear that absolutely nothing she could do at this stage could make things all right again. Even if she could send Ben packing back to Isla Sagrado, she’d have to refund him the money he’d already paid and if that happened, her next mortgage repayment simply wouldn’t happen. It would be impossible then to keep the wolves from the door. She felt totally hemmed in. A captive in her own home.
“Would you care to explain the meaning of these?”
Mia looked up from her desk as Benedict came stalking into her office. Her heart gave an all-too-familiar lurch at the sight of him, but that rapidly changed when he slapped not one, but three various issues of New Zealand’s weekly women’s magazines in front of her. Her hand shook as she reached for the top one.
There, in all their reluctant glory, were Jasper and she at the bus stop at the shopping center. To the right screamed a headline that made her blood turn cold. Mediterranean Millionaire’s Love Child Exposed!
She dropped the magazine as if it had burned her fingers, and in doing so, saw the cover of the next one with the picture that had obviously been taken by the cab driver. A similar caption burst from the paper. She didn’t need to see the next one to know what their feature article was.
“Didn’t you say they’d lose interest soon enough?” Mia said in a voice that was not quite steady.
Ben made a raw sound of disgust. “What I can’t understand is why you’d admit Jasper is my son to some tabloid gossipmonger but continue to refuse to afford me the same truth.”
“I never said anything to them about you or Jasper. In fact, I very clearly told them I had nothing to say and to leave me alone.”
“Then where did they get their information?”
Mia shivered. She’d never heard Benedict’s voice so cold and controlled. Her emotional defenses rose like a solid wall—the only wall she’d been able to erect during that awful time after her father’s death. It had seen her through then and it would hopefully see her through this, too. She gathered her strength to her like some kind of barrier and, imitating his tone, threw out the first words that came to mind.
“For all I know, you could have been the one to tip off the media.”
She knew the words were a mistake the instant they left her lips.
“If you’ll recall, one of the major stipulations in our contract was that you would ensure my privacy. That privacy is well and truly violated now, wouldn’t you say? I think we can safely say I had nothing to do with this invasion and I would like to point out that as you have not met this particular term of our agreement, you are in breach. Unless you would like me to rescind our contract, and the second half payment and bonus that would still have been due to you, I suggest you pay attention. I repeat—where did they get their information?”
Mia knew when she was beaten. “I believe one of my old friends may have spilled the beans about our little fling. She was a guest at the party where we met, too—and I had a feeling at the time that she knew who you were, even though she never told me your name. She was…less than pleased that you chose to spend the weekend with me rather than her.
“She moves in the same circles as Jim and Cathy. They could have mentioned to her that you’re here, or she may have seen you herself, last Friday, and tipped off the media. She’s the type of person who wouldn’t hesitate to capitalize on anything that could even remotely show me in a bad light.”
“Some friend. I hope she’s been paid extremely well, because I intend to see to it that she doesn’t make another cent from her knowledge.”
“How on earth are you going to do that?” Mia asked, bewildered.
What her friend—her ex-friend, she corrected herself—had done was nasty but it was only hearsay. Which was exactly what these magazines fed on, unfortunately.
“There will be injunctions on everyone involved with this debacle—” He broke off as his cell phone chimed from his pocket.
With a muttered curse he dragged it out and answered.
“Hola.”
Mia watched as his face lightened, his expression becoming warm and friendly before rapidly returning to become the hard mask of anger he’d worn a moment ago. “Sí. It is true. I will speak to you as soon as I have confirmation or if there are any further developments.”
Ben reverted to rapid Spanish for several minutes, then ended the call and returned his phone to his pocket. She didn’t like the look he pinned her with. Somehow she knew she wasn’t going to be able to evade him, or the truth, for very much longer.
“It seems the news has reached my home. That was my brother, Alex, demanding to know why I had not yet informed him he was an uncle and that my grandfather is now a great-grandfather.”
“Oh, no.”
Suddenly it was as if the walls were closing in on her. Her breath caught, trapped in her chest, and her heart began to accelerate. The news had gone global? How on earth could that have happened so very fast? Bile rose in her throat and she reached for the glass of water she constantly kept full on her desk, desperate to ease the sick, burning sensation that spread through her like wildfire.
“Oh, yes.” Ben sat down in the visitor’s chair opposite her desk and leaned forward, his elbows resting on the wooden barrier between them. “Now, I want you to tell me everything that happened the other day from the moment you stepped off at the pier until the second I saw you come back.”
“It’s too late, though, isn’t it? There’s nothing you can do to undo this.”
Mia gestured to the magazines, realizing as she did so that the third one had also printed an old photo of her father’s next to that of her and Jasper. Her gut twisted painfully. So they were not even going to leave her father to rest in peace? Hadn’t they already done enough when they pilloried him for his financial collapse and drove him to his death?
“I cannot turn back the clock, Mia. Would that I could! But I can make sure that not another scurrilous word is printed about my family. My grandfather is not in the best of health. The last thing he needs right now is something else to add to his troubles.” He leaned back in his chair and fixed her with another one of those hard-edged looks he was so painfully good at. “Tell me, and this time, leave nothing out.
”
By the time Mia had recounted what had happened, Ben was pacing the small confines of her office.
“You mean even the cab driver took a photo of you and Jasper?” His voice boiled with barely restrained fury. “He will regret that action most dearly.”
Mia rose from her desk and put a hand on Ben’s arm. Beneath her fingers she could feel the heat of his skin through the fine silk of his shirt. She tried to ignore the tingling sensation it aroused in her. There were far more important things to consider here.
“Ben, please, as you said, you can’t turn back the clock. Can we not just focus on making sure they go no further?” she implored him.
“He should pay for what he did to you. What he did to Jasper.”
“I know, but don’t you see? If you take action against him, even if you take action against Sue, they’re only going to make things worse. People like that always do. I don’t think I can go through that again. It was bad enough with Dad—it went on for months and months.” She prodded her forefinger against the magazine that had included her father’s photo on the cover. “It will destroy Mom to have to relive all that. She’s only just started grasping her life with both hands again. I can’t let her go through that for a second time, too, not to mention how it’ll make life impossible for Jasper. I can’t do it, Ben. I just can’t.”
Her voice broke on her final words and to her horror her eyes flooded with tears. And that was when Ben did the last thing she’d imagined he would. He took her in his arms. The solid strength of his body, the firm way he held her, was seductively comforting. His silent support encouraged her to give in, to surrender control. It would be so easy, she thought, and then all thought was suspended as, with the tip of his index finger under her chin, he lifted her face to his and kissed her.
Nine
The taste of him invaded her senses and her body responded like she was starved for physical attention. She kissed him back with all the frustration and tamped down desire she’d suffered from since the moment they’d last touched. Her hands slid over his shoulders, allowing her body to mold against his, to feel the hard core of his strength bolstering her. A sturdy anchor in a sea of fear and concern.
She worked her fingers into his hair, holding him to her, relishing the feel of the silky dark strands threaded through her fingers.
His kiss was consuming and she wanted to be consumed. She wanted everything she’d been too afraid to want for such a very long time. And with that want, she realized what a dangerous path she trod right now—how very much was at stake. Every single reason why she had never let herself dwell on the memory of her time with Benedict flashed through her mind—his touch, his taste, their mutual pleasure. It had been indescribably beautiful and yet over after only thirty-six hours. And then reality had hit—hard.
Mia tore her lips from his and lowered her hands to his shoulders to give him a firm push away from her—though the breaking of contact was almost a physical hurt.
“No, this isn’t right,” she cried, panting. “It just complicates things.”
“Sí, it is more than right. We need to do this, Mia. We cannot fight what exists between us. Let me show you how special we can be. Let me be there for you, protect you, make love to you.”
Mia gathered all her strength and stepped away from him. Her heart fluttered in her chest like a bird trapped in a net. All in all, that was exactly how she felt. Trapped. When had life become so complicated? She hadn’t allowed herself to yearn for the past, for the time when life was more carefree and fun. It was a waste of time in her new world.
She shook her head slowly. “No, Ben. Even if I wanted to, I am not that kind of woman anymore. I have responsibilities to my son and my mother. I have to be there for them one hundred percent. I can’t falter.”
Ben reached out to take both her hands in his and pressed them flat against his chest.
“Mia, let me share your burden.”
If he had read her mind he couldn’t have said any words that spoke more directly to her heart.
“I’m afraid.”
“Afraid of me?”
Twin lines of concern pulled his brows into a frown.
“Of you? Not exactly. More of what you’re capable of doing to me.”
“If you let me into your life, I would never hurt you.”
“Not physically, no. But you have so much power over me. I’m afraid if I relinquish what control I have left over my life I’ll lose everything I’ve worked so hard for. I don’t think you understand how much it means to me.”
“I understand. I know what it is like to have the expectations of so many others like a weight on your shoulders. But I also know that no one can do everything on their own.”
He bent forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. The simplicity and sheer undemanding gentleness of the action became her undoing.
“Help me, then. Please?”
He nodded. “First, I think we need to make sure Jasper and Elsa aren’t dragged into this any more than they have been already.”
Over the next couple of hours they made plans. For Mia it was scarily easy to not only share her responsibilities but to relinquish their control to Ben. After discussions with Don, who suggested Elsa and Jas stay at his daughter’s farm just out of Glenorchy, it was merely a matter of waiting for the cover of darkness to let them slip away. Elsa had originally protested, saying she needed to be there for Mia, but Ben had been firm. So too, surprisingly, had Don. When he’d heard what had happened he’d shown an unexpected determination about protecting both Elsa and Jas from any further media intrusion. Eventually Elsa had capitulated. Jas was beside himself at the prospect of being able to go pony riding on the farm and Mia had to fight back tears that he was so happy to leave her.
She rationalized her misery with the relief that Jas would be out of reach to the media until Ben could get the injunctions in place.
Later she watched the boat draw away from the dock and head down the lake until she saw its navigation lights no longer. The tears that had been all too near the surface all day couldn’t be held back a moment longer.
Ben put a comforting arm around her shoulders and guided her back into the hotel.
“I need to go to my apartment,” she protested.
“You shouldn’t be alone,” he said, his voice low and reassuring. “Stay with me tonight.”
“Stay with you?”
“I will not force you to do anything you do not want, Mia. I promise you.”
She let him take her by her hand. In minutes they were in his suite. His presence was surprisingly soothing and, by increments, Mia felt the tension in her body begin to ease.
“They’ll be all right there, won’t they?” she asked.
“Don assures me that he will call and let us know when they’ve arrived and settled in. His daughter’s place is quite remote and I’m certain no one followed them. Trust me, Mia. I will do everything in my power to keep Jasper safe, and your mother, too.”
“I know,” she whispered.
It felt so foreign to have someone else to lean upon, someone to share her worries and concerns. Foreign, and yet distinctly appealing at the same time. The emptiness inside her, opened even wider by Jasper and Elsa’s departure, began to fill with something else. Something she was almost too afraid to acknowledge.
Ben still held her hand. His fingers were warm and strong and entangled in her own, securing a link between them that she couldn’t ignore any longer. She looked up at him, to the face that had haunted her dreams for the past three and a half years, and knew that she had to be honest with him.
“Jasper is your son,” she said, her voice soft and barely audible.
An almost feral glow of possession shone in Ben’s eyes before he closed them briefly and tilted his head slightly back. His lips firmed in a straight line and his jaw clenched tight. When he opened his eyes again and looked in hers, she saw a shimmer in their dark brown depths that evidenced the deep and raw emotion there.
The play of emotion on his face was heartrending. Shock, perhaps, that she’d finally stopped stonewalling him, warred with pleasure and then an intensity that she recognized on a gut level. It was the exact same intensity she felt when she looked at Jas—pride, parental ownership and a sense of wonder that this child was her very own. Except now she shared him, with Ben.
“Thank you,” he said, and lowered his face to hers, his lips possessing her own in a kiss that was on a different scale to anything they had shared before.
His mouth was almost unbearably gentle as it took hers, supping from her as if she was the sweetest nectar. His hands cupped her face, holding her tenderly and making her feel as though she was the most precious thing in the world to him. Her lonely heart cracked open, as she took everything he offered her. Her arms roped around his waist, her hands splaying across his strongly muscled back as if she was afraid to let go and be cast adrift. To be totally alone again.
Ben carefully drew back from her and rested his forehead against hers.
“What are we going to do now?” Mia asked, almost afraid of the answer he’d give her. “What do you want to do about Jasper?”
“It’s been quite a day and we both have had a lot to take in. We can discuss everything later. Besides, right now, I’m sure you need your rest. You take the master suite. I’ll go and sleep in the spare room.”
Mia shook her head. “No, I can’t chase you from your bed. Won’t you at least share it with me?”
“Mia, I am only a man. A man who is fiercely attracted to you. I cannot, in all honesty, say I can sleep with you and not want to make love with you.”
She placed a finger on his lips and looked him solemnly in the eye.
“Then make love to me, Ben. Please?”
He didn’t answer, merely took her by the hand and led her into his bedroom and closed the doors firmly behind them. Tiny shudders rocked Mia’s body—part fear, part anticipation. There was no going back now.
For the Sake of the Secret Child Page 9
