by Ron Foster
“This is a beautiful house!” Wilma said and then oohed and aahed over the place with Tina and Stacy.
“I like your taste in property! These are some classy digs, let me tell you! Looks like one of those places you see on that show ‘Lifestyles Of The Rich and Famous’. ” Carl declared.
“We only have the one key to get in the house with.” Slim said producing it and going to open the door for everyone to have a look inside. Tina then made him put it on a loop of paracord and wear it around his neck as it’s’ loss would be beyond serious and with that gesture Slim was now official “Gate Keeper.”
“Maybe we can go to that realtor’s office and look around in his office to see if any more keys for this place are there.” Steve said thinking what an inconvenience having only one key was going to be to their individual comings and goings.
“We could go look at the real estate office but unfortunately I forgot who it was now.” Travis said pointing to the still wet newly painted sign that had been white washed over and re-erected in front of the house. QUARANTINE_OCCUPIED had been painted in black over a white sign.
“I think it was a company named Abraham or something. I will ask Joyce when next I see her and hopefully she remembers. She did a nice job, don’t you think?” Tina said.
“Looks real official and hopefully we won’t get any trespassers.” Travis said admiring the lady’s handy work.
The group toured the house and they all waved over to Sam and Joyce who were at their same places sitting and fishing on their pier. Tina hollered thank you for the sign and we will be back soon and the party loaded back up and headed for the boat docks at the marina.
Harvey and James were on their wooden stool perches under an umbrella and they stood to welcome back the travelers and inspect the newcomers.
“Looks like it’s our day for guests: we had us a big island cruiser pull in this morning that had six on board. They sailed all the way from the Bahamas and up the coast they said!” Harvey said pointing out a beautiful motorsailer moored out in the channel
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“They had a hell of a time of it getting here they said, with lots of troubles and now they are waiting around on some of their friends to arrive back here that went up the back bay to see if some relatives are still living on that shore. You should see the fancy radio they got on that thing! They can talk to folks all over the world!” Billie Lee said fascinated by the exquisite sailing craft and its communication gear.
“I might have seen their friends on the way down here. We saw a big odd-looking wooden sailboat earlier. Why did they themselves come into port? I would have thought they were all blue water sailors and would be out playing Robinson Crusoe while trying their luck on some deserted island somewhere.” Slim said.
“They said it wasn’t safe except open water, too many pirates these days, their desalinator water system went out and they needed fresh water so they thought they would give us a try. They got Island Rum by the way, or had it. Bo was going to either try to fix theirs or totally replace their water unit with one scavenged off one of those boats in the showroom or out in the sales yard. I don’t know what he is getting in trade or cash for that job but I am guessing it might be pricey. We haven’t seen the actual owner of that Marina boat dealership since the grid went down. Bo used to work there so he kind of inherited a few things from his yacht broker boss you might say.” Harvey said thinking the parts monopoly thing Bo had going was something he needed to try to stick his nose into. Maybe Billie Lee could take parts off boats and stuff for Bo sort like as a hired mechanic and let him handle some sales occasionally, he thought. Question was the big if and that was could he find some customers of his own.
“What brings you all back here today? Couldn’t stay away from my cooking?” Billie said jovially.
“Sort of, you couldn’t somehow see your way to managing to handle seven guests for supper could you?” Travis asked as Billie and Harvey quickly conferred on what might be had to eat around here.
“We don’t know off hand, we got to see about few things. Are you trading or buying cash money today? Fishing hasn’t been good and that cruiser’s crew is over talking to Captain Vic and they are liable to need feeding also.” Harvey said contemplating.
“We can do either or, we have some green backs if that makes life any easier but we prefer crab or oysters or something over fish.” Travis replied.
“You buy us some gas to take the skiff out to the oyster beds and we will give it a go. Can’t say I can guarantee we get any prime oysters because we ain’t been to them beds in awhile to know conditions but we used to have some pretty consistent luck.” Billie Lee said stroking his sparse beard.
“I will pay you something to let you try your luck oystering. How much do you need to get your boat to a likely location?” Steve asked.
“A couple gallons of gas ought to do her. It’s not that far to the oyster beds and that little motor of ours sips gas.” Harvey said before advising sheepishly it was going to cost him twelve bucks a gallon.
“Wow, that is some pretty pricey fuel you are talking about but it’s worth it to me and my friends if you can harvest us a mess of fresh oysters. How much do you want for the oysters? That is, seeing that I am putting all that platinum grade fuel in your tank before hand for you to be able to go look for them I mean.” Steve said scrutinizing the old boat dock lurker.
“Well, it’s our boat, our fishing equipment with two experienced hands working it. I say you can charter our boat for maybe $50 and you keep all that we catch except some oysters saved back for the crews’ dinner. I hope I can pull up a couple bushels of big juicy ones. That’s some pricey oysters mind you but I think you can recoup some of your money selling some of them extra succulent oysters around here.” Harvey said.
“That is a bit stiff cost for my blood, how about if we joint venture together? I think if we do that a fair price would be for me to give you 25 bucks and you can keep half the oysters?” Steve countered.
“Well, that sounds like a right square deal. Hey, what is this for?” Harvey asked as Tina handed him and Billie Lee a roll of toilet paper each.
“Free trade samples! You know anyone else who might need some?” Tina asked smiling.
“Thanks! Everybody needs them some Toilet paper! At first I thought you were handing me a tissue to cry on seeing how I was getting badly bested in negotiating this oyster deal.” Harvey said laughing.
“Hey, I offered you a fair deal!” Steve objected.
“I know you did Bud, but we weren’t all done with our dickering yet. How much of this have you got to trade for?” Harvey asked very interested in the commodity.
“I don’t know that is all going to depend on how you are going to be pricing it. What will you give us per roll? I also have in stock various sizes of paper plates, plastic utensils, napkins, paper towels and two one-pound cans of restaurant coffee.” Tina said ticking off her list.
“I Uh, hum now, let me think on it some Tina. Excuse me, while I confer with my associate.” Harvey said as he and Billie walked off to talk the matter over privately.
“One can of coffee, one case of toilet paper and $25 not counting gas and we go oystering for you right now. It will be a 7-hour trip for us, that is if we get started now and don’t stand here all day dickering.” Harvey offered.
“Done!” Steve said after glancing at Tina for assurance and shaking the delighted men’s hands.
“Can we have the gas money and our trade good stuff now? We want to make a trade I just thought about before we go out. You can pay us our cash money oyster man wages when we get back and the bill will only be half priced for trying if we don’t do any good for you.” Harvey asked.
“I guess so; does that sound ok with you Tina?” Steve asked and when she said ‘ok’, the two men took off down towards the docks like a shot heading towards Captain Vic and the cruiser crew.
“We will be back for our stuff in a minute.” Billie Lee called back over his shoul
der as he and his partner hurried to the end of the pier.
“I don’t know about those two.” Steve said watching the men animatedly talking to the two Captains who looked their way and nodded once or twice.
In a short bit the two men were back and carried over their trade goods and cash to exchange for two gallons of gas and two bottles of Dark Rum from the cruiser crew.
“Dang! They got anymore of that?” Travis asked as the pair came slowly ambling back grinning and said as soon as they got their white sea boots on they were taking the skiff out.
“I don’t know maybe, could be they got some more rum, but that boat doesn’t need any more toilet paper for right now!” Harvey said laughing with Billie Lee how they had just cornered that market for themselves for now.
“You two are sneaky!” Tina said with a half-smile.
“Yea, we got to be. Captain Vic bought that coffee off us, that sloop drinks tea! We traded for one bottle and paid cash for the other.” Billie Lee said.
“Oh hell, here comes Stacy. Let’s get going oystering before she fusses at us that we were supposed to be doing something else for her today. Hey, before we go, I told her to send Ray over to get Bo and Molly for you, Travis. Somebody owes us 5% for doing that and you all can work it out. See you.” Harvey said and the men hurried off.
“You got them two scallywags doing something for you? I just caught the tail end of that conversation and trade they were making. Something about oysters and rum was all I got.” Stacy said regarding the two men not even putting on their fishing boots and hurriedly launching the skiff off the shore and into the salty water.
“Well, we were trading for oysters and it appears it turned into them trading for Rum.” Travis said eying the two misfits trying to start their old beat up outboard by pull starting it and then zooming off up the causeway with it spluttering and smoking.
“If they are going oystering with booze on board, then there ain’t no telling what might happen next or what they will bring back. They will be back I assure you and they will get around to honoring their deal eventually. They ain’t thieves; they just get amnesia once in awhile. Now if that’s getting back to you today or tomorrow, I can’t tell you that, seems stuff just happens with them two that gets in the way of finishing things. They got amnesia today on working on a garden bed I was going to get them to dig up this afternoon I see already.” Stacy said with a bit of exasperation in her voice.
“You can give them all kinds of hell when they get back.” Captain Vic said walking up on the conversation.
“Hey Travis, Slim, Tina. I see that you have brought some friends back with you.” Vic said extending his hand to meet the others.
“Yea, they decided to come check out your hospitality today and we all decided to have dinner over here. Joyce has got me wondering about getting the dinner part now, though.” Travis said.
“Oh I wouldn’t worry yourself about those two much. They won’t get too drunk to fish and from what I know about them they got plenty of years of practice at getting liquored up and still doing a good job of bringing home the catch albeit doing it a bit tipsily. They will be home about an hour before dusk I am guessing. We are lifting the curfew rule tonight this one time, by the way. I wanted to see if you wanted to stick around a bit tonight. I talked that cruiser captain into taking some of us Marina residents out shrimp cast netting tonight. Any of you all know how to cast a net?” Captain Vic asked raising one eyebrow.
‘No? I thought not. You all don’t look the type.” Vic said.
Evidently willing to learn didn’t get anyone a ride on the ship but they were invited to eat some of the hopeful shrimp catch anyway. The captains also had some hopes that they would have extra for long line bait as well for tomorrow.
“Well this day just keeps getting better and better!” Carl said looking like he fit right in sitting on Harvey’s stool with his white Gilligan island looking hat slouched over on his old balding head.
“Do you have any more of that toilet paper left? You know the stuff Harvey traded some for that booze they got? I tell you what, now if you all don’t have too awful of a price I might be willing to also trade you for something or another.” Captain Vic said as everyone differed to Tina to negotiate that aspect of seeing what it was she could barter for.
“Well, I brought samples for most everyone on the boats, I think. I wanted to do that just as a gesture from our group to the marina residents and maybe pick up some business. You and Joyce can have free samples of paper plates and towels also.” Tina explained.
“If you have any extra trade goods at all look us up!” Vic said.
“Well we have some more stock back at home that I might have a little more surplus of in exchange for barter or cash. What do you value it at?” Tina questioned.
“I ain’t the seller so I wouldn’t know the price.” Vic said with a deadpan face.
Seeing that his response had made Tina uncomfortable, Travis said “What kind of interesting stuff do you have for trade Captain Vic? You ain’t got a lobster stuffed in your back pocket, do you?” He said grinning and making Steve lose his serious trading composure.
“No, I don’t have any lobsters with me today. I got some cans of Sterno and some Old Bay seasoning that you might like to consider that are just as valuable, though.” Vic offered.
“We will bring you a case of TP and you can decide what you think it’s worth while we are gone and make us an offer. Hey, do you want some free plastic eating utensils?” Tina inquired wanting to get rid of some.
“That would be great! You all must have found yourselves a restaurant somewhere that wasn’t too picked over to scavenge.” Vic said scrutinizing them for more details.
“Something like that. Hey, I remember Harvey said that the sailboats’ crews were tea drinkers.” Travis said moving the subject of their wealth along to safer channels for discussion.
“They sure are. You got any tea?” Vic said enthusiastically thinking tea was just the thing to offer them and pretty much get whatever it was they had you wanted.
“Yea we do, but it is just regular restaurant tea, Red Diamond and Lipton. No herbal teas or fancy Chinese types.” Travis declared mentally noting to reserve the case of cold brew type for themselves.
“That will work! I hope you don’t mind me playing middleman here do you? See, I want some of that tea for myself but I also want to trade them some for some goods.” Vic said having a special purpose in mind but not saying what exactly it was.
“You wouldn’t be thinking of trading some of my tea for Rum now would you? Harvey was just having fun laughing at us just a minute ago that he had managed to beat us to the draw on outfitting that ship with that toilet paper commodity.” Tina said with a smile.
“Why those two wily old rascals! Well, could be I might want to make myself a similar little trade with that captain if he was interested?” Vic said comically trying to look all innocent and trustworthy before breaking out in a big grin and admitting they had guessed correctly.
“Well, I will tell you what Vic. We have four 144 count boxes of them luscious tea leave bags in exchange, that is unless you can do better in a trade, we want a bottle of rum and you can have a bottle for trading the tea.” Go see what kind of trade you can make for us both that’s mutually beneficial with those tea time rum runners and if they want to do more of the same we are open.” Tina said motioning him towards the van to get the tea and go make for them the best trade possible with a little incentive and commission to boot.
“Well DILLY! DILLY! Ahoy mates!” Vic said his arms full of tea and playfully practicing his fake British islands accent heading back down to the docks for a little one-sided dangling a tea bag in front of them as a taunting provocative offer and getting a shot of rum back in return as the bartering began.
“I like this place! Sounds like to me Carl that we got us all the comforts of home within our grasp now!” Wilma said looking like she was all glowing and getting spry and happy to be ap
parently washed up on this odd abandoned vacation shore to play apocalyptic beach bum. She had been really down and out depressed the past months and it was a pleasure to once again see her smiling as the dark depression and smells of the sometimes claustrophobic apocalyptic fish camp cabin began leaving her soul and senses. The sun was on her back, the sea breezes were blowing through her hair and she had sugar white sand under her feet to wait out the results of liquor run at their pier side blue weathered wood picnic table. Life was now finally truly getting better and it was getting pretty good pretty quickly!
“Why I think I have died and went to paradise Wilma! We didn’t ever get this kind of service down here even when we stayed at one of them uppity expensive beach resorts on vacation!” Carl said smugly with his feet propped up on the table and thinking that everything was happy and good in his little world at the moment and Hey! You couldn’t beat the prices!
“Speaking of which, you all remember we need to be thinking about unloading and bringing our luggage into the beach house and checking in at the front desk, if you know what I mean.” Travis said reminding them of the treasure trailer that was awaiting their further attention.
“I guess we should go get everything that we can in a couple trips but we will still be leaving some on the trailer.” Tina whispered.
“Stuff of any sort has value, just how much value people are willing to trade for is hard to say and remains to be seen right now. I am, however, worried about us being seen doing all those trips and the risks that we might encounter while loading and unloading it though. That Webster character living next door to us can see everything we do and from what we know so far about him there is no telling how he will take it.” Travis replied.
“So we just pay him off in paper goods to keep his mouth shut!” Slim said angrily not liking the idea of anyone snooping on them.
“I guess the best thing for us to do would be for us to get Sam to come back over here with his wife and at least get them to try to introduce us.” Tina said thinking about the best approach to open lines of communication with their reclusive neighbor.
