by T. D. Jakes
Shad sighed. “No, I guess you don’t. Well, I’m going to take control of this situation.” He shook his head. “You two grown women, you two shining examples of beautiful black womanhood need a coach? Well, I’m signing on for the job. The two of you are going to get together and we’re going to work on this thing like you’re running drills to play in a game. You are going to get it together here.” He took their right hands in his two hands. “The first thing you’re going to do is shake hands.”
Michelle jerked her hand away. “I’m not shaking her hand. I tried to bury the hatchet.”
Tonya pulled her hand away from Shadrach’s hand. “Yeah, you tried to bury the hatchet all right. Right in my back!” She finally said out loud what she had been thinking before.
Shadrach grabbed their hands again. “That’s the last of that. You two are going to work together or else. I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. Now, you two shake hands.”
Michelle didn’t move, so Tonya didn’t move.
“I didn’t ask you ladies to shake. I’m telling you. Now, shake hands.”
Tonya and Michelle shook hands like something was going to rub off—some foul-smelling thing was going to transfer, some slimy substance was going to be exchanged when they touched each other. It was more of a hand touch or slide than a shake.
Shadrach slapped one of his hands to his forehead. “You two are worse than two little kids fighting on a playground. But I tell you what, I’m going to get you two together, or my name is not Shadrach Malone. Now, go to your separate corners—your separate desks—and we’ll meet tomorrow for lunch. And don’t bother bringing a note from home little girls. No excuses accepted.”
All that day, Tonya could hear Michelle whispering on the phone. The telephone would ring, then Michelle would begin whispering and looking in her direction. Tonya watched as she slammed drawers, pounded the stapler, and banged cabinet doors. Once her cell phone even went off. “I told you don’t call me on this phone during the day. You’re using up my minutes. Call me back on the other line.” When the phone rang, Michelle answered and began whispering again. Tonya couldn’t make out the words, but she knew Michelle was talking about her.
Tonya thought of approaching her about using the phone for personal calls. Really, for just being on the phone all day. She had the authority to write Michelle up—she should document it, write a memorandum for record—it was what she deserved and Mrs. Judson would approve.
No excuses accepted. She had done everything she could to make things work with Michelle. It was impossible. But she would wait. If Shadrach wanted to try to coach them to some sort of reconciliation, she wasn’t going to be the one to mess it up—Michelle would take care of that. Shadrach would see soon enough what was going on with the ghetto princess. Tonya looked at Michelle, who was looking at her and still whispering on the phone.
No one would be able to accuse Tonya of casting the first stone . . . or of backing down this time.
Chapter Fourteen
The note, on a piece of white spiral notebook paper with frayed edges, lay in the center of the kitchen table.
Hey, Mom-bo!
I know you remember, but I wanted to remind you anyway that I left early this morning for the football trip.
Really, I’m writing because I hope you are thinking about what I said, okay? You know, about getting a life—a new life. You want great things for everybody else. You want everyone you come in contact with to have the best. You put your whole self into making everybody’s dream come true—with your prayers, your money, and your advice.
You know what makes me sad, though, Mom-bo? It’s that you give the best to everyone else and you barely give yourself the leftover crumbs. I want you to live, Mom.
If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for me. Just like you’re happy to see me explode—to see good things happen for me—I feel the same about you. I want to look at my Mom-bo and see her happy, you know? I know God wants to see you happy. And I think both of us want to see you get rid of that bun! Just kidding there, Mom-ster.
But seriously, Mom, I want to see you smile again. You owe it to me to let me see my mother shine. Let me see you come back to life. Come on, Mom. Don’t be afraid. Live! Let me see that there really is life after death—even after the death of a son.
Peace, love, and hair grease!
Malik
Tonya stuffed the note into her purse. It kept her all the way to work, into the building, and through the morning. The note made her feel good. It made her feel real good. Tonya didn’t know if she could explain to anyone why.
Maybe it was just having someone care enough about her to take time to write a letter. Maybe it was seeing God do what He promised—to see Him turning her little boy into a thoughtful, considerate man was a blessing. It might have been that in her son’s note she felt the caress of a new wind. Malik, like Isaiah the writer and prophet in the days of old, might be heralding that good news was on the way. He might be singing a praise of new life to come.
Whatever the case, despite the fact that Michelle still frowned and Mrs. Judson still threatened, Tonya felt herself responding to her son’s words. She walked down the aisles with just a little more spring in her step. She lifted the phone from its base with just the slightest bit of a flourish. She turned on her radio and started to hum—the faintest traces of a song had begun to bubble up from her heart.
Malik’s letter, his act of love, carried her through the morning and even walked her to the restaurant booth to meet with Michelle and Shadrach. “Good afternoon,” Tonya said when she slid into place.
Shadrach had chosen well. The restaurant was quiet and the eating spaces—surrounded by plants—had an air of privacy. The booth was u-shaped and Shadrach sat in the middle. The State Department could have made use of his diplomatic skills.
He looked back and forth at the two of them. “It’s good to be eating lunch with both of you ladies.” His eyes kept lingering on Tonya, as though he was trying to figure something out. “Did you do something differently, to your hair or something? For some reason, you look different.”
Tonya smiled. “No, just the same old routine.”
Shadrach looked again. “All right, then.” Michelle glared, but Tonya ignored her. Shadrach waved at the waitress. “Let’s get on with lunch and our meeting.” He checked his watch. “We’re still on the clock.”
He dipped a tortilla chip in the bowl of salsa that the waitress placed on the table. “So, do either of you have any ideas about how we ought to handle this?”
Michelle looked at Shadrach. “I thought you had all that worked out, Shad. I was looking to you to take care of it.”
He nodded. “What about you, Tonya?”
“I’m following you.”
“Okay, ladies. Well, I’m a straight-up kind of man. I don’t believe in sugar-coating things. You both know that about me. So, I figured the best approach was to face this head on. You know—to figure out what it is that you two are beefing about. There’s no way to do that without just coming at each other with the truth.”
Tonya nodded. Michelle pursed her lips.
“So, what I figured was we need to have some order to it. It doesn’t get anywhere going back and forth, doing the he said, she said thing. You all feelin’ me?”
The waitress came back to the table to refresh their chips and their drinks. “Is everything all right?” She was a pretty girl. “Are you ready for me to take your order?” They nodded and made their selections.
When the girl walked away, Shadrach resumed. “So, like I said, one at a time. One person says what they don’t like. The other person responds, not by telling the other person what’s wrong with her, but by responding to the comments. The last thing, is to come to some common ground.”
Michelle dipped a chip in the salsa. “What do you mean by common ground, Shad?”
“I mean areas that you two can agree need to be changed and ways that you’re going to get that change. It means find
ing the places where you respectfully agree to disagree. Ain’t no point in sitting here just jerking your jaws. You sisters are in trouble, whether you know it or not. You need something real to happen before somebody gets fired, locked up, or both.”
Tonya reached for a chip. “What we need is prayer.”
“Yeah, no doubt about that. You won’t get a fight from me on that one.” Shadrach nodded. “But you need more than faith. You’re going to have to do something. What is that saying about faith and works?”
Tonya spoke quickly. “Faith without works is dead.” Michelle frowned and looked away from the table. She looked as though she was feeling excluded.
“Yeah, that’s the one. Faith without works is dead. I’m going to leave you two ladies to let faith be your homework. From where I sit, you’re going to need faith to get you out of this one. Mrs. Judson don’t play, and I think the shoe is about to fall. But . . . you know, you all pray about it.”
Tonya stared at Shadrach while he spoke. She had never heard him say anything about God. He was a good person, but she had never heard anything from him about the Lord. You never knew about people.
You still got some hot years left. Tonya thought about Malik’s letter. Could Shad find someone like her attractive? But, she and Michelle had more important things to think about—like whether they were going to be able to keep their jobs. Tonya moved her attention back to the conversation.
“So, like I said, you two ladies let that be your homework. What we’re going to deal with here is the works part. And you’re going to have to leave your attitudes and your feelings at home or at your desk. You don’t have time to waste, and I sure don’t. So, are we agreed?”
“Yes.” Tonya watched and waited for Michelle’s response. She was sure to show her true colors before it was all over.
Michelle rolled her eyes. “I guess so. But who’s going first?” It was unbelievable how much attitude flowed out of the girl.
Shadrach smiled at her. “Why don’t you go first, Michelle. It looks like you got the biggest issue at the moment.”
Michelle adjusted her seat. “Be up front, right?
“Right.”
“Just let out what’s on my mind?”
“Let it out, sister.”
“Well, since you brought up faith and praying, let’s talk about it.” Michelle glared across the table at Tonya. “I’m tired of being insulted, like nobody knows anything about the Lord or about the Bible but you. You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me or where I come from.”
Tonya felt like her face had been slapped. She looked at Shadrach, expecting him to say something. He simply looked back and forth between Michelle and her. Tonya cleared her throat. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” Michelle mocked her, widening her eyes and dramatically pressing her hand against her bosom.
Shadrach folded his arms across his chest and looked at Michelle. “Okay, let’s set some ground rules here. You can be as blunt as you want to be, but don’t be mean just to be mean. I’m not here to watch you all just do what you can do without me.” Shadrach took a drink of soda. “Okay, let’s try that one again.” He nodded at Tonya.
“I said, I don’t know what you mean.” Maybe this was a worse idea than she’d thought. There was no point in sitting here being insulted. She didn’t have to use her lunch hour for that.
“What I mean is, you act like you’re the only one who knows anything about the Bible. And like you’re the only person who knows how to pray.”
“That’s not true.”
“Well, why would you buy me all those little books and that Bible and leave them on my desk like the Easter Bunny?”
Shadrach raised an eyebrow. “Michelle?”
“Okay. Tonya knows what I mean.” She looked at Tonya. “So why would you do that then?”
“I was trying to be nice. I was just trying to show you that I cared about you. I knew you had been going through a tough time lately—”
“And that’s the other thing, Tonya! You are always nosing in my business!”
Shadrach grunted and threw down an imaginary flag. “One thing at a time, ladies. Finish what you started, Michelle.”
Michelle huffed. “Okay, then. So, why all the books and stuff if you’re not trying to tell me I need to be more holy? More like you?”
“I just thought . . . I just . . . the books helped me. I thought they might help you. I felt like I was supposed . . . Oh, what difference does it make?”
Shadrach blew the whistle. “You can’t just stop talking because you feel uncomfortable. You have to stay in the game.”
“What’s the point? Michelle hates me. She’s already made up her mind. It doesn’t matter what I say.”
“You’re just feeling defensive. You just want to play defense, or the safe martyr, but you got to talk back. Okay, Tonya, so tell Michelle what you were doing.”
The waitress came with their plates. “Be careful, please. They are very hot.” They waited until she left to begin talking again. It gave Tonya time to think.
“I don’t know, Michelle. When I was in trouble—not that I’m not still having trouble—those books helped me. One of the hardest things about going through was going through alone. I just wanted you to know that I cared. That I wasn’t just someone you worked with, that I was here for you.” She looked down at her plate. “I didn’t know how to say it to you, I guess. I gave you what helped me.” She looked Michelle in the eye. “I really wasn’t trying to insult you.”
“Mm-hmm.” Michelle was still giving much attitude. “Well, I do know the Bible. Okay? I used to go to church. If I do or don’t go now, that’s my business, okay? I didn’t come here for friends. I came here to work. That’s all.”
Tonya bit her tongue. It wasn’t her turn.
Michelle looked at Shadrach. “Can we go on to another point, now?”
“Okay. It just sounds like a small misunderstanding that happens all the time. Maybe Tonya tried to give you a gift, but what she gave you was something that she liked. But you weren’t feeling her. Every time she gave you another gift of the same kind, you got madder and madder, right?”
“You got that right.” Michelle jabbed her fork into her tamale.
“So is there something you two ladies could do different next time? Like maybe, Michelle, you could tell Tonya how you feel about the gifts—just tell her you don’t like them.”
Michelle waved the fork—sauce, shredded pork, and corn cake on the end—back and forth to emphasize each word. “I don’t like them!”
Shad looked exasperated. “I mean, next time tell her before things get this bad. And next time, Tonya, talk to Michelle, right? Didn’t you notice that she didn’t like what you were doing?”
“I just thought she didn’t like me. I didn’t think.” Maybe she hadn’t thought about anything. Like maybe she hadn’t considered that this—this meeting, this roasting—was really a bad idea.
Michelle looked like she was biting her tongue. The blood rushed to her face. She took a deep breath, collected herself, and looked back at Shadrach. “Can we move on now?”
“Yes.” He took a forkful of food from his plate.
Michelle’s narrowed gaze settled on Tonya. “The other thing I don’t like is how you watch me. When I come in, you’re looking at the clock. When I’m on the phone, you’re going back and forth in front of my desk. What is up with that? I hate that. I came in here to work, not for you to be my slave master.” Shadrach’s face said, “Oh no she didn’t?”
Tonya looked down at her plate. Why had she agreed to this? What about this had made it seem like it was going to be a good idea? “Look, Michelle, I know you don’t believe this, but on my own, I could care less when you go or come. Really. Talking about people, if you really knew me, you would know that’s the last thing I worry about. But Mrs. Judson—”
“We’re not talking about Mrs. Judson. I’m talking about you.”
> Tonya put her hand in her purse and moved it about until she found Malik’s note. “But that’s just the point. It is about Mrs. Judson. This is her office. It’s her rules and her judgments that get us promoted or fired. Because I listen to her, because I’m in meetings with her, I know what she likes and what she doesn’t like. What she doesn’t like is employees who don’t come to work on time. It doesn’t matter that it’s okay with me. Mrs. Judson doesn’t like it and it’s my responsibility—” Michelle rolled her eyes in disgust at that. “No, honestly. In all honesty, I’m trying to look out for you. I guess I’m trying to protect you from yourself. Mrs. Judson is not going to promote anybody who can’t get to work on time and who takes personal phone calls habitually. What I call myself doing is trying to cover for you without saying anything. I’m trying to give you big hints that you need to get to work on time and get off the phone.” Tonya frowned. “I guess I just need to be like Shadrach says. I just need to be straight up with you.”
Shadrach nodded.
Tonya rubbed Malik’s note back and forth between her fingers. She needed courage. “Okay, here’s straight up. If you think I’m trying to mind your business or be in your personal life, you are wrong. I got enough issues and business of my own to keep me busy for a lifetime. Personally, I don’t care what you do. Business-wise, Mrs. Judson hates it, and she pays me to take care of it so that she doesn’t have to deal with it.” She looked squarely at Michelle.
“Get to work on time and get off the phone, Michelle, or Mrs. Judson isn’t going to promote you; she’ll fire you. Those behaviors, she feels, let her know how much respect you have for the people around you and how committed you are to working here. Do it, or I’m going to have to start writing you up, because my job, as long as I’m here, is to make sure that you do what Mrs. Judson wants done. That’s as straight up as I can get.”
Michelle looked away from the table.
“I don’t want to make you feel bad. I really am trying to help you get promoted, Michelle. I want to be your friend. Maybe that’s impossible at this point—but that’s what I want. Everybody in authority is not trying to hurt you. I’m not against you. There are some rules you just have to follow. If I insulted you giving you the books and sending you flowers, I won’t do it anymore. But the other—the phone and getting to work on time—is not negotiable. That’s the deal.”
