by Lori Wilde
She rushed to catch up with him, knowing that if she had never met Mark Shepherd, she would still be doing what she was about to do. She looked at Robert’s face. He was so handsome. More handsome than Mark when you got down to it. But there was shallowness to his chin. Softness in his cheeks. While she’d found him appealing at sixteen, now, at twenty-seven, she found him lacking in some fundamental way.
Not a solid man. Not a man you could count on when the chips were down.
Robert stopped underneath the Sweetheart Tree. The same spot where she and Mark had sat the day he’d taken her shopping.
“Please,” he said, dusting off the concrete bench. “Have a seat.”
Her stomach tightened all the way up to her chest. Naomi settled down on the cold bench. Wiggled to warm her bottom.
He had something in his hand. A small black velvet box. He went down on one knee.
Panic flared through her. Her pulse jumped. “Rob—”
He held up a hand. “Shh.”
“I—” She started to stand up, but he reached out a hand and pushed her back down.
“Naomi Luther.” Robert cracked open the box, revealed an engagement ring. “Will you marry me?”
Fear knocked Naomi’s heart sideways. For so many years she’d dreamed of Robert’s proposal. Now here it was. Coming as she’d often imagined it might. In Sweetheart Park, underneath the Sweetheart Tree where their names were carved. In December, surrounded by twinkle lights and Christmas music, the air frosty and festive.
Naomi looked down. The diamond was impossibly huge. Easily worth two months of his six-figure salary. Nausea swamped her.
She didn’t want it. Hadn’t wanted this, she realized, in a very long time.
Robert, having grown tired of waiting for her to leave their hometown behind, had moved on without her. They’d broken up and gotten back together half a dozen times over the eleven years they’d been going out. Their breakups had always been over the same thing.
He wanted more from life than what Twilight had to offer. And Naomi couldn’t leave her family and community behind. Her happiness was here. The fact that her love for Robert wasn’t strong enough to lure her away was telling. She had loved him as her high school sweetheart. And on some level, she would always love him for what he’d been to her. But she knew in her heart that he was not her soul mate.
Not the one.
She thought of Mark Shepherd. She barely knew the man, and yet she knew him in a way she’d never known Robert. She’d dreamed of Mark and he’d appeared. Whenever she was around him, she felt fully accepted and understood. Her feelings for Mark were heady, thrilling, and she wanted more.
Tears formed in her eyes, and she put both trembling hands to her mouth.
“Are those tears of joy?” Robert asked, his voice shaky.
“Robert,” she whispered, “please get up. Please put the ring away.”
Confusion scrambled his handsome features. To most people, on paper, he was a much better catch than Mark Shepherd. Master’s degree. Solid career. Good family.
But he hadn’t wanted children.
And that’s all Naomi had ever really wanted—a home and family of her own.
He wanted to see the world.
Naomi’s world was right here in Twilight.
“What’s wrong?” He snapped the ring box closed, hopped to his feet.
“This is . . . too sudden.”
“What do you mean, sudden? We’ve been going out since high school.”
“We haven’t even seen each other since summer. You could have called. Texted that you were coming at least.”
“I’ve been busy . . .” He pressed his mouth into a thin line. “Working overtime to pay for your ring. You’re busy too. Running your own business, helping your mom, taking care of Hunter. You could have called just as easily as I could have.”
“I wasn’t buying a ring and making wedding plans.”
“No? What was that I walked in on at the gym with you and—”
“Robert,” she interrupted, standing up. This time, he did not push her back down. “You’re asking me to marry you, but what about Hunter? How does he fit in with your plans?”
“What do you mean?” His breath fogged in the cold night air. He curled his fingers around the velvet ring box. Jammed his hands into the pocket of his coat.
“I’m Hunter’s legal guardian. I’m in the process of adopting him.”
“I know that.”
“He’s going to be my son—our son—if we were to get married.”
“I understand what adoption means, Naomi.” His tone turned sarcastic.
“You’re willing and ready to become a father?”
“If it’s what I have to do to win you, then yes, I am.”
Alarmed, she took a step back. “You can’t give lip service to being a father to get me to marry you. You have to want to be Hunter’s dad.”
“I’ll get there, Naomi. I’m sure of it. He’s a nice kid.”
“You have to love him.”
“You gotta give me time. Love doesn’t happen overnight.”
But it was happening overnight between her and Mark, she realized. Surprise was a spike stabbing right through her spine. Was she falling in love with Mark? After experiencing his kiss, she’d have to say yes. “Nor when you’re hundreds of miles away. How can you fall in love with him when you’re never around?”
She thought of Mark and the way he looked at Hunter with adoring eyes. The way Hunter kept calling him Daddy. How tender Mark was with the boy. How good the two were together.
“Love can happen overnight,” she said. “It does.”
“Look,” Robert said, shifting his weight. “I’m being honest here. I’ll do the best I can with Hunter. I accept that you and he are a package deal.”
She stared at him, wondering if she’d ever really known Robert. “I’m sorry. That’s just not good enough. Hunter deserves parents who love him with all their hearts and souls.”
“You’re living in a fantasy world,” Robert said. “I promise to provide for the boy, and treat him well. But that’s all I can promise.”
“I appreciate your honesty,” she said, a cascade of emotions tumbling through her—sadness, regret, irritation, hope. “And your position. I hope you understand that under the circumstances, I can’t marry you.”
He looked like a mule had kicked him in the gut. His mouth dipped down, eyes shuttered. “Naomi . . .”
“We missed our moment. If you’d proposed five years ago . . .” She shrugged. “I would have said yes in a heartbeat.”
“Five years ago, I was starting grad school.”
“There’s always been something keeping us apart, Robert.” She gentled her voice. “Perhaps there’s a reason for that.”
“It’s the guy, isn’t it? The one you were dancing with.” He hitched in a deep breath and his eyes narrowed. “The cripple.”
She bristled. The hairs on her arms stiffened and her spine straightened. “That’s unkind, and I won’t tolerate it.”
“You’re the one being unkind.” He hurled the words at her like a snowball packed around a rock.
Was she?
“This isn’t easy for me,” she went on. “We’ve shared a lot. We’ve had good times and bad times and I will always have fond feelings for you—”
“You always did champion lost causes.” His tone was brittle. His eyes flared with hurt and anger.
Guilt wrung her out. She felt worn and bleary.
“That’s why you’d rather have a cripple than a whole man.”
“Oh, you did not just say that!” She gasped, cheeks flaming.
“Truth hurts, huh?”
“You’re making this so much easier,” she said, clenching her hands into fists. “When did you get so cold?”
He backtracked, raised a placating hand. Looked ashamed. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m hurt. I didn’t expect you to reject me. You threw me for a loop.”
“Seri
ously? The longer you were away, the easier it was for me to be without you. You’re not even a big part of my life anymore.”
He grimaced, his face chiding and sad. “I tried to get you to move to Denver with me.”
“Without the benefit of marriage.”
“I wasn’t ready for marriage then.” His nose was turning red in the cold. She supposed hers was too.
“And my father is a pastor. I couldn’t move to Denver without being married.”
“Which is why you didn’t.” He jammed his hands in his pockets.
Heart aching, she met his eyes. “We missed our window.”
He shook his head, looked petulant. “We’re high school sweethearts.”
“That doesn’t mean we’re right for each other at this point in our lives.”
He took a coin from his pocket, flipped it into the fountain. “There. I wished to be reunited with my high school sweetheart.”
“It’s just a legend, Robert. We’re not Rebekka Nash and Jon Grant.”
“The legend has worked for other people. Jesse and Flynn, Emma and Sam.” He swept his hand at the tree carved with names. “Caitlyn and Gideon. Sarah and Travis. Dozens of people.”
“But not for Naomi and Robert.”
Memories flooded her. So many happy memories. The good times with Robert. Sharing a banana split at Rinky-Tink’s before it went out of business. Canoeing the Brazos River. Fourth of July picnics. Prom night. Making love for the first time underneath the stars in his parents’ backyard when they were out of town. They’d both been seventeen. Robert had been her one and only lover.
She was throwing it all away for a stranger.
Because with those happy memories came the unhappy one. Robert cheated on her when he was in college, causing their first serious breakup. He begged her forgiveness, and she’d given it to him. Everyone makes mistakes and he was so contrite. And for a time, things had been really good between them again. But Robert had gotten involved in grad school and then later his job in Denver. He told her his career had to take the front seat for a while, and she’d tried to be understanding. But she couldn’t shake the feeling his career meant more to him than she did.
Then Clayton and Samantha died and everything changed.
“What does this crip—” He stopped himself before he finished the inflammatory word. “This guy have that I don’t?”
“He’s not the reason I’m saying no.”
“Don’t lie to me. I saw the way you looked at him. Is it because he’s military and you haven’t dealt with your grief over losing Clayton?”
Was it? Naomi placed a hand to her heart.
“Are you attracted to him because you feel like you can fix him? And if you fix him, that it will somehow make up for losing your brother?”
His insight blew her away. He was normally a bit self-absorbed, but in that moment, it seemed as if he could see right through her. Maybe she did try to “fix” everyone, and maybe he was right about why she was attracted to Mark.
Sobering thought.
But just because he might be right about that didn’t mean Robert was right for her. She could see that now.
“Nothing will make up for losing Clayton.” She gulped, determined not to cry.
Robert sank his hands on his hips, broadened his stance. “If it’s not pity, and you’re not trying to make up for Clayton’s death by taking on this damaged Marine, then what is it?”
How could she explain the power of the connection she had with Mark? “I dreamed of him,” Naomi confessed. “Before I ever met him.”
“What?” Robert looked at her as if she’d taken leave of her senses. “When?”
“Last Christmas Eve. I put a kismet cookie underneath my pillow because I wanted to dream of you, but instead I dreamed of a man I’d never met. Then he turns up and I felt something I never felt with you.” Her voice cracked. She interlaced her fingers. Clasped them to her heart. This was so hard.
“What’s that?” he asked, tears misting his eyes.
“Fate,” she whispered, his pain overlaying her own. She did love Robert, just not in the way either one of them deserved. “One look in his eyes and I knew we were destined. I can’t explain it beyond that.”
“You believe in the damn kismet cookie legend, but not the sweetheart legend?”
“It’s got nothing to do with legends.”
“You just said it did.”
“No, I said when I look at him, I feel a rush of love and destiny that I never felt for you. I love you, Robert. Don’t get me wrong. But it was never like this. Like it’s meant to be.”
“Fine.” He barked a harsh sound, hurt and disappointment etched on his face. “I hope you have a happy life.”
“I wish the same for you.”
“I won’t be back. This is done, once and for all.”
“I know.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?” His mouth was grim. His eyes bleak.
She nodded, her heart in her throat. Every muscle in her body tense and sore.
“All right then. This is it. Good-bye.” Robert hunched his shoulders, burrowed deeper into his coat, turned and walked away.
Naomi watched him go, realizing she’d professed to Robert what she’d been trying to deny to herself since the day she hopped into the wrong Jeep.
She was in love with Mark Shepherd.
Chapter 20
Spurred by a force so strong that he could smell it, Shepherd drove to the Luthers’ house. His body tensed. His head hummed a one-word mantra. Naomi. Naomi. Naomi.
It was after ten-thirty.
She was probably in bed.
He didn’t care.
But when he got there, he almost drove past the house. Convinced himself to wait until morning. Then he saw that someone was sitting on the front porch swing.
He slowed.
It was Naomi.
His heart leaped. It was as if she’d just been waiting for him. Huddled in a down coat that was too big for her. He knew with unshakable certainty that it was Clayton’s coat.
His heartstrings jerked.
He pulled up to the curb and got out. Left his cane behind. He was tired of having a crutch. He was going it alone.
“Hello,” she called to him as he came up the sidewalk.
“Why are you sitting out here?” he asked, easing up the porch steps.
“I needed some air.”
“Why?”
“Robert just asked me to marry him.”
Sucker punched. He tasted bile in his throat. His heart chugged. He was too late.
She scooted over, making room. Patted the seat beside her. Because he wasn’t so sure that his knee could support him, Shepherd sank down. Sent the swing rocking and the chains creaking. She turned toward him, torso swiveled, but with her feet planted firmly on the ground facing forward.
“I said no.”
“No?” he echoed, not sure he understood what she was saying.
“I told Robert I couldn’t marry him. I turned him down.” Her gaze locked on his.
For several seconds, he stared at her in awe. He felt as if the world had shifted permanently on its axis and he could never again look at things in the same way. In his wildest dreams, he could not have imagined feeling this way.
“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked.
“Why?”
“Why did I say no?”
He didn’t trust his voice. Simply bobbed his head. But he did not drop her gaze.
Her eyes were nervous. The tip of her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. “Robert is the only boyfriend I’ve ever had. The only man I’ve ever . . .” She didn’t finish the sentence, but he got the gist. “He was my high school sweetheart, and I told you how this town is about high school sweethearts.”
“These all sound like good reasons to say yes.”
“I couldn’t accept his proposal. Even though once upon a time, I longed for it desperately.”
He didn’t ask her w
hy again. He just sat there. Hand wrapped around the swing chain. Rocking gently. Waiting.
“I thought I loved him,” she said. “Or what passed for love. Robert was easy to be with—”
“That’s because he lived in another state.”
She laughed, a hearty sound of relief. “Most likely.”
“Long-distance relationships are difficult.”
“I didn’t really realize that until . . .” She trailed off, her gaze glued to his.
“Until what?”
“You.”
Shepherd opened his mouth, but no words came out.
“Could you say something?” Anxiety pulled her brows into a frown. “I’m out on a limb here.”
“You . . . you . . . broke up with Robert because of me?”
“You kissed me and I melted. I never knew a kiss could make you feel that way. Robert’s kisses never made me feel like that—” Her eyes misted with emotion. “Oh, please don’t tell me you don’t feel it too.”
“I feel it.” He lowered his voice. “Like an earthquake.”
She caught her breath, an audible gasp in the dark. He wanted to kiss her again. Right here. Right now.
“Naomi,” he whispered.
“Mark,” she whispered back.
He felt like an animal that had been let out of a cage. He scooted closer.
She met him halfway.
He wrapped an arm around her waist. Peered into her eyes.
She gulped, moistened her lips again.
Shepherd lowered his head.
Her gaze darted away for a moment, looking at the door, then back into his eyes. “This is happening so fast.”
“Too fast?” he asked.
“We barely know each other.”
“And yet,” he said, “it feels like I’ve known you all my life.”
“Yes.” She curled against him. “Like a hundred lifetimes.”
He needed a moment to process this. He’d come here fully expecting to be shot down, and now that the exact opposite was playing out, he had to take a breath. Make sure he was grounded. That this was really happening, and he hadn’t lost touch with reality.
