“But what about the letters?” Robert asked. “Why wouldn’t she tell me in the letters?”
Charlotte shrugged.
“Maybe this is something that shouldn’t be said in letters. And those letters only build a foundation of a relationship, not a level of trust.” She nudged Robert’s leg. “Just take it slow. If you frighten her, she’s going to run.”
Robert couldn’t argue with that. But, while he kept saying he was patient and could manage the waiting, in reality, his patience was wearing thin. He wanted to know, and he wanted to know now.
Waiting for Beth to confide in him was killing him.
Chapter 6
Beth kept herself busy each day. As soon as Robert left for work, she began to clean the house from top to bottom. It was either that or sit about twiddling her thumbs. There was no need to go to the grocery store, and she didn’t have any errands to run; there was no need to leave the house. So, there was nothing much else to do.
Except for lots of cleaning.
She started in the bedrooms and went through them one at a time. Then she did the stairs and the lounge. The kitchen was last. Beth decided she was going to tackle the stove and try and clean behind it. The big cast iron beast was covered in soot and dust and needed to be cleaned out before it clogged up completely and didn’t function as it should have.
It was very heavy and sealed in its position, so she had to reach behind it to scrub the back. The heat kept her away, but she could see some bad cobwebs and some spilled grease that had run down the wall behind the stove. Taking a clean cloth, she got down on her knees and stretched behind. She could feel the heat coming off the metal work, but she just couldn’t quite reach. So, biting her lip, she reached her left arm further in.
“Ouch!”
The arm touched the hot metalwork, and it seemed to melt her skin almost causing her to use a curse word. Biting her tongue, she forced the word down and shook her arm to ease out the pain. It helped a little.
Her hands and arms were covered in soot and dust and the burn on her arm hurt like mad but Beth worked through it. She wasn’t about to stop to treat a burn. Eventually, she forgot about it.
Once the stove was clean from top to bottom Beth stood back to admire her work. It looked good, but she could not ignore the fact that her shoulder and arm were screaming at her. Still, Beth didn’t stop; she had probably overused it. It was nothing.
She was cleaning the floor when the front door opened and closed. Robert’s Scottish lilt passed through the house.
“I’m home.”
“I’m in the kitchen.”
It was nicer than she thought living with Robert. He was a respectful man, very kind-hearted and sweet. He was also intelligent, and she loved the conversations they had in the evenings. Beth had been lucky to teach a wide variety of subjects and learn much more on her own, so she was a natural conversationalist. She liked times like that when they sat and talked; it was the only time she was truly relaxed.
When she came here, she wondered what she had expected. How did she think she would ever cope? Luckily Robert had taken to sleeping in a different room. Beth was appreciative of that. Having a man in her bed would have brought back the nightmares, no question.
Only there was a problem. Beth could tell Robert wanted to ask her about things; after all, he had a wife who couldn’t bear him to touch her! She knew she had to face this, but she didn’t think she would be prepared to, not just yet, if at all. Why had she been such a fool? Why was it so difficult to tell him the reason she was so skittish? It was clear Robert wanted to ask but was preventing himself from doing so. The man was as patient as a saint, but Beth knew that patience wouldn’t last forever.
She heard Robert’s footsteps and turned to see him fill the doorway. Something in her itched to go across and hug him. Suddenly she wanted to hold him.
Her breath caught in her throat. Where had that come from?
Robert looked exhausted. Rubbing his eyes, he blinked and stared at Beth’s state. Looking down she realized that she had soot and dust all over her and that the stove looked the cleanest it must have looked in a long time.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m cleaning.” Beth arched an eyebrow at him. “What do you think I’m doing?”
“I got that bit. But why are you cleaning behind the stove?”
“It needed it.”
Robert shook his head.
“That’s beside the point. That thing is too hot and too dangerous for you to be going down there.”
Beth rolled her eyes. Robert didn’t think she was strong. She was a lot stronger than she let on.
“It was nothing. I can manage.” She turned away and reached for a cloth. “I’m not weak.”
“I never thought you were.”
Suddenly Robert was at her side. Beth only realized when she turned and nearly bumped into him. She stumbled back, using her bad arm to prop herself against the table. Pain shot up her arm, and Beth couldn’t stop herself from crying out. It felt like she had flames burning the inside of her arm.
Before Beth could gather her senses, Robert was at her side, reaching out for her injured arm.
“You’re hurt.”
He was going to touch her. Panicking, Beth pulled away and cradled her arm against her body. She shook her head.
“I’m not,” she said quickly. “I’m not hurt at all.”
“Beth…”
“Leave me alone and let me get the kitchen cleaned up.” Beth turned away. “I still have a lot to get done.”
In a perfect world, Beth would be left alone. Robert would leave the room and allow her to get on with the rest of her cleaning. But this wasn’t a perfect world; Beth was unprepared for Robert to grab her around the waist and lift her off her feet. In a moment, she was over his shoulder, and Robert was carrying her out of the kitchen. Beth screamed and pummeled his back.
“Let me go! What are you doing?”
“Not a chance.” Robert’s voice sounded grim. “You’re injured. I’m sorry I’m treating you like this, but you’re being a stubborn woman.” He strode into the living room and towards the couch, tipping her off his shoulder, so she had to grab onto him, so she didn’t collapse on the floor. Robert’s face looked like it had been set in stone. “As a doctor, I’m not standing by and letting your injury get worse. It could fester or even give you blood poisoning. It needs to be looked at.”
Beth took a moment to get her balance and then she lashed out. Robert caught her hand, his eyes never leaving hers. His nostrils flared, and Beth faltered. He wasn’t going to hit her, was he? Maybe she shouldn’t have turned away from him.
But Robert didn’t hit her. He dropped her hand, took a step back, and pointed at the couch.
“Sit. I’ll go and get my bag.”
After what had just happened, Beth didn’t want to risk arguing. Meekly, she sat and waited nervously as Robert went to fetch his bag from by the front door. He came back and knelt at her feet, opening the bag at his side. When he straightened up and looked at her, his expression was soft, his eyes showing an emotion Beth had never seen aimed at her before. It almost made her want to burst into tears.
“Now, if I may?” Robert indicated her arm. “Let’s have a look.”
Beth swallowed. She didn’t want to be touched, but she wasn’t stupid. Robert was a doctor, and he was only trying to help. He would never hurt her. That thought was in her mind before she could stop it and somehow she knew it was true.
Even so, Beth found herself bracing as she held out her injured arm. Robert took her wrist in a gentle hold that had Beth biting back a gasp at his warm fingers gently eased her sleeve up her arm. His eyes widened when he saw the burn, an angry red on her pale skin. He gave Beth a look of reproach.
“You, Beth, are an idiot. This is not nothing.”
“It doesn’t hurt,” Beth protested.
Robert raised his eyebrows. Then he gently laid the pad of his thumb on the burn. Beth fl
inched as white-hot pain coursed up her arm. Robert shook his head.
“Did you run it under cold water?”
Beth wanted to lie, but the look on her husband’s face said he wasn’t in the mood for messing about. She slumped.
“No.”
“Then that’s why it hurts.” Still holding onto her wrist, Robert reached into his bag. “You’re going to scar from this.”
“I’ll live. I’m not fussed abut a few scars.”
“You’re too pretty to have scars like this.”
Did he just call her pretty? Beth couldn’t think of the last time she had been called pretty. It had been a while and not from a man like Robert Parman. Robert turned back to her and held up a bottle of something with a scribble on the label.
“I’m going to put this salve on you, but I need to hold your arm still.” His mouth twitched. “Don’t hit me, all right?”
Beth couldn’t help but smile.
“I won’t.”
Beth allowed him to put the salve on. It was cold, but it was soothing. Once that was done Robert put a bandage on her arm and rolled her sleeve back down. Then he sat beside her, their thighs almost touching, as he checked the rest of her arm. Beth didn’t move away. She found she wasn’t scared being touched by her husband. In fact, it felt nice, almost comforting.
Robert gently prodded and moved her arm, a frown creasing his forehead in concentration.
“There’s nothing broken. You’ve overused the muscles in your arm. Your elbow, too. There’s some muscle strain there, nothing that can’t be fixed by lots of rest.”
“But what about everything else?” Beth protested. “I can’t clean with one arm.”
“I’d rather come home to a dirty house than come home and find you’ve lost complete use of your arm because you ignored doctor’s orders.” Robert lowered her arm and shifted away as if giving her space. Leaning over to shut his bag, he looked up at her. “What happened to you, Beth? I know something happened to you back East. You need to tell me what happened to make you so frightened of anyone touching you?”
Chapter 7
Should she tell him about what happened? Beth warred with the options in her mind. If she told Robert the truth, he would see her as nothing but cheap. If she refused to tell him, there would be contention between them and Robert would pull away. Beth wanted to stay as Robert’s wife but to do that she needed to trust him.
Husbands were supposed to protect their wives, weren’t they?
Beth looked down at her hands.
“You know I said I was a governess.”
“I remember.”
Beth swallowed. Robert stayed silent as she gathered her thoughts. He didn’t push her. Beth was grateful for him letting her set the pace. If he had pushed her, she would’ve run in the opposite direction.
“I mainly worked for wealthy families. I was with the last family for six months. They had three children, one from the father’s previous marriage and twin girls. They were ten. The son from the first marriage was nineteen. He was a brat and kept sitting in with us despite the fact I was there for his sisters. I kept telling him to leave, but his parents said he wasn’t doing any harm. He kept trying to talk to me about… certain things.” Beth wasn’t going to elaborate but from Robert’s raised eyebrows he understood what she meant. “I wouldn’t entertain him and mostly ignored him.” For a moment, the words dried up in her throat, and she could feel tears pressing at her eyelids.
Robert sat quietly, not pushing, not crowding but somehow comfortable. It gave her the strength to continue.
“One evening, he approached me in the schoolroom. I was getting things ready for the next morning. I told him to leave me alone as I was busy. He…” Beth gulped, blinking back the tears. “He propositioned me. He started…touching me, saying I was a beautiful woman and he was…you know…”
Robert grunted. Beth glanced at him. His nostrils were flared, and his eyes were the darkest she had ever seen. Beth had seen her husband frustrated, but this time he looked livid.
Was he angry at her? Beth wasn’t sure, but she plowed on. She’d come too far to stop now and if he turned her away then so be it.
“I pushed him off me and told him to get out. I had no interest in him... I was older, not to mention the fact that he was the son of my employer.” Again, she had to swallow the frog in her throat that threatened to steal her words and her courage. “He wouldn’t go away. He grabbed me, touched me wherever he could, and tried to kiss me. I was forced against the wall, my bodice ripped. He had his hands around my throat... eventually, I lost the fear and was angry. I kneed him in the groin and told him to back away... that I was telling his father about his actions in the morning.”
She jumped when a hand touched her back. Robert nodded, but he didn’t say anything. Beth knew she would have stopped talking if he spoke before she finished. A knot of nausea formed in her stomach.
“Unfortunately, he decided to go to his father immediately. He told him that I had come on to him; that I’d touched him inappropriately, begging for things a whore would only beg for. His words. His father was furious and called me into his study as soon as I came downstairs for breakfast. Then I was fired on the spot for trying to seduce his son. He didn’t even want to listen to my side and threw me out into the street with no pay and all of my belongings.” Beth wiped at tears that escaped and tickled her cheeks. “If it wasn’t for the footman directing me to his mother’s boarding house for shelter, I would’ve been in the gutter and homeless still.”
It felt like a weight had been lifted off Beth’s shoulders. The only person she had told about this was Patsy, but she had heard of most of it from her son. Beth hadn’t been able to tell anyone else. Everyone in that family’s circle saw her as a whore who took advantage of young men, and that would have poisoned everyone if she needed a job. That and what they said they would do if she told anyone about the incident finished her job prospects in the city.
Beth hadn’t realized how close wealthy people stuck together when the perfect image they portrayed was threatened until now.
“I can’t believe anyone would treat you like that.” Robert shook his head in disbelief, anger, and stunned amazement fought for control of his expression.
His hand was still on her back and started rubbing slow circles. It felt nice.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
Beth grunted.
“Rich people think they can get away with it because they have money,” she said grimly. “Servants don’t matter where I come from. My employer was more likely to listen to his son, who he had almost kicked out for getting a girl pregnant weeks before, than one of his employees.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach and grimaced. “It makes me feel sick still, thinking about it.”
She was aware of Robert’s hand leaving her back and Robert shifting. Then he was beside her, wrapping his arms around her and urging her to rest her head on his shoulder. Beth didn’t fight him; the warmth from his body and the comfort was welcome. She sagged against him, slowly slipping her arms around his waist as she buried her face into his neck. Robert rocked her gently, rubbing her back and shoulders.
“I’d never do that to you,” he whispered. “You know that, don’t you?”
“I know. But it’s not something I can overcome easily.”
“I know.” Robert kissed her head. “And I won’t push you into anything you don’t want to do.”
Beth smiled against his shoulder. She didn’t need to question her husband; she knew him well enough to know that when he said something he meant it.
“Thank you.”
Chapter 8
It was better in the weeks after that. Beth found herself pouring out everything else after that incident to Robert. Gradually, she went through the incident in even greater detail, and he had to bite back his anger. How could anyone treat her like that?
To cap it all off, the family had blackmailed her into silence. Robert had been outrage
d, but he had held her as she cried, listened as she talked and offered comfort when she needed it.
He was a rock and Beth appreciated it.
They took things slowly. Beth was slowly getting used to being touched and even looking to being held. Robert even moved back into his bedroom and held her as she slept, which resulted in Beth having the best night’s sleep she had had in a long time. He didn’t pressure her into doing anything; he went at her pace and Beth couldn’t help loving him for that.
And she did love him. Beth didn’t know what she had done to deserve a man like Robert Parman, but she knew she was lucky. She counted her blessings every night before she fell asleep.
Over the weeks her confidence grew and grew. Soon she could venture outside without panicking. Robert introduced her to other women in the town, especially Charlotte and Rachel. They invited her into their sewing circle, and Beth found that she was quite apt at sewing. They made all the Christmas decorations for their homes and made most of the presents for their families. Beth worked hard and made Robert a waistcoat with an intricate design she sat up late finishing it off. She was very proud of it once she had finished it.
Robert loved it. He opened it eagerly, and his pleasure at his present was evident. Beth enjoyed seeing his face as he put it on and found it to be the perfect fit. Then he had spun her around the room and kissed her. Beth didn’t find herself getting frightened or lashing out; if anything, she liked it.
She was even getting brave enough to come out to church, something Beth hadn’t done in a long time. Robert offered to take her for the service on Christmas Day, Beth wrapped up in the new coat and shawl Robert had given her as her present. It was a wonderful service, and everyone came up to talk to Robert, including Beth and making her feel warm and welcome. Beth hadn’t felt like that in a long time.
Living out in the West was not as she expected. The people were a lot nicer than those she came across in Baltimore. Beth would take the Arizona territory over the Maryland city anytime.
Christmas Miracles: Mega Mail Order Bride 20-Book Box Set: Multi-Author Box Set Page 27
