“Oh, my! That’s so much money!”
“We could use it, Juliet to leave. Maybe this wasn’t right for either of us.”
“You’re quitting, leaving just like that?”
“I know you want out of here just a much as I’m starting to.”
“I’m just surprised. You never give up on anything, is all.”
“I wasn’t expecting it to be like this. I feel like their mother and this arrangement is just… I mean Drew hasn’t spoken of a wedding date once since we’ve been here, and maybe you were right. A marriage without love and passion won’t work. Those things do matter. I wanted to save us from Boston, but maybe we should leave and start over somewhere here in the west, with this money.”
“You haven’t discussed any of this with Drew?”
“No. I don’t know how.”
“Well, when I talked to him, he seemed very eager to make you happy.”
“Well, he doesn’t act like it. He’s over there and I’m over here. He’s polite and more mature than the others for sure, but I don’t know how much longer I can do this, Juliet. I didn’t sign up to take care of the Pierce brothers for the rest of my life. It’s exhausting enough taking care of you.”
“You need to speak with him. Or are you nervous around him?”
“I-I don’t know.”
“Can’t you give him a chance? He’s trying Susannah. I like him and I know you do, too.”
Susannah shook her head confused. She folded the envelop from Mr. Sanders in her apron. She knew the boys could see them so she stopped their conversation to not raise suspicions.
Susannah clattered the griddle and pans together, getting them ready with some wash water. The cool water against her flushed face felt soothing. Her neck hurt. She had never worked as hard as she had since she’d arrived here in her life.
Jack mumbled in the next room, and the fire blazed. Fat snowflakes fell outside the window and Susannah watched, mesmerized at their beauty.
“You need any help?” Drew offered, taking the dish rag hanging over her shoulder.
Before Susannah could protest, Drew was doing dishes with her, smiling nervously.
“Thank you,” Susannah replied, gathering a few stray dishes from the table and wiping it down with another cloth.
“You’re sure a fine baker, Susannah. I’m coming to crave your desserts.”
She smiled again, not meaning to connect with his penetrating eyes as long as she did. Susannah fidgeted again, breathing in deeply, and moving chairs back in from the dining room.
Drew took over again, lifting the chairs with ease and his muscles dominate in his forearms. Susannah watched with curiosity, her face flushing even more.
“You all right?”
“I’m fine,” she lied, more conflicted than ever.
She remembered suddenly riding behind him the first night. The way his body felt against hers, his strong arms guiding them along, it felt all surreal.
“Susannah?” He asked, interrupting her thoughts.
She backed away from him her nerves fluttering. She licked her lips, knowing she had to be honest with him.
“I just wanted to make sure you have everything you need here. If there’s something more I can be doing to make you feel more comfortable or—”
“I think I need to be honest with you, Drew,” she began, trembling. “I’m not certain what I expected coming here. I was thrilled you offered me a way to leave Boston, but now that I’m here, it’s just not what I imagined.”
“Susannah…”
Chapter 21
Drew stepped to her and slowly caressed her face, then he gently touched his lips to hers. Her chest was heaving and her fingers trembled. She was afraid to feel. His hands were strong, and his embrace left her breathless.
He looked down at her with a tentative smile and Susannah ran from the room.
“It must be hot in the kitchen,” Pete teased, as her eyes filled with tears.
She shook her head and left heading toward to the guest house.
Drew entered the hearth room after her, a look of disappointment plastered across his face. Juliet smiled faintly. He sighed heavily and went upstairs.
Juliet left the room and followed Susannah. When she found her, she was watching the falling snow, a blanket wrapped around herself.
“Susannah,” she said quietly. She had never seen her sister so unglued, so completely out of control of her emotions.
“After Christmas,” Susannah replied softly. “I’m leaving after Christmas. You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to.”
“Susannah, I don’t understand the problem. Drew is in love with you. He wants to make this work.”
“Well I don’t. I don’t feel…”
“And what do you feel? You’ve always been so put together. It’s all right if you feel out of control once in a while.”
“I’m not like you, Juliet. I can’t simply fall for someone one week, then someone else the next. With Drew, I’m afraid it would fade over time. We certainly have nothing in common.”
“What did Father always tell us?”
Susannah cocked her head, remenbering their father’s words of advice.
“Love changes you,” Susannah repeated.
“You just need more time,” Juliet reassured. “You should try, Susannah.”
“You shouldn’t have to try when it comes to love. Either you feel it or you don’t.”
“Yeah, but Father said Mother hated him at first. They fought and he pursued her until suddenly she looked at him differently. It changed. She changed.”
Juliet couldn’t believe she was feeling the same as her mother until she said it to Susannah.
“Drew and I aren’t like mother and father. I don’t even really know him.”
“I think you’re afraid to get to really know him. He’s trying, Susannah. You’re not.”
“I am trying!”
“Yeah, you’re trying to be domestic and what you think he wants, but you’re not trying to connect with him. You’re doing everything you can to distract yourself from facing what could be between you two.”
“When did you become so smart?”
“I guess some of your maturity has rubbed off on me. Now, this will be the first Christmas without Father. Let’s try to make this house as festive as possible for the Pierce men and for us.”
Susannah smiled softly as her blonde hair shined in the lantern light. Juliet hugged her and they turned out the lights, facing another day, while juggling their growing and confused emotions.
Chapter 22
The next day, the girls had the men cut down a large spruce tree that they stood up in the main room. They also made garland from pine branches and draped it over the banisters. They collected holly branches and wild berries to add to the garland and a wreath for the door.
Susannah tried to look at Drew seriously, and he caught her gaze a few times as they hauled the tree back to the main house. Fresh pine and cinnamon scents filled the house, along with the sweet aroma of maple, bacon, and fruit pies.
Susannah smiled as they all decorated the tree with ribbon, holly, and berries. The evening was perfect. They sang a few Christmas carols and shared stories of Christmases past.
“Christmas is my favorite season,” said Drew as he came to stand next to Susannah at the window. “Did it snow like this back in Boston?”
She nodded, then she turned back to continue decorating the tree with novelties she could find around the house. The boys had only one small box from their childhood and she shuffled through it, trying to bring their mother back into the house this time of year.
“You know, I think you all can handle finishing up the tree. I’m going to go check on dinner.” She turned and walked past everyone on the room. It was fairly clear she wanted to be alone.
“Juliet,” he sighed, turning her to him. “Why are you acting different? Did I do something?”
Juliet frowned. Of course he had done s
omething. She just didn’t want him to know he had gotten to her somehow.
“There are some things on my mind. Susannah doesn’t know what she wants. I’ve been trying to convince her to calm down.”
“You two are thinking of leaving?”
The flash of fire in his eyes stunned her. She shrugged. “I don’t know for sure, but maybe.”
“No matter what we do to try to make you feel welcome, it isn’t enough. Never mind we’ve all tried to act more like gentlemen. You Brice sisters still think we’re not good enough for you.” He shook his head and started walking away.
“Jack!”.
“I should have known two spoiled girls from Boston couldn’t handle it here.”
Juliet sighed, realizing what he must be thinking.
Even though she had been spoiled and ran in different circles in her past life, she had grown into the rugged cowboy and ranch life. Things were different between her and Jack and her and George. She had pursued George and worked extremely hard to force feelings that just weren’t there. Jacks rustic charm and sly smile had gotten to her. He looked at her in a way George never did. He truly cared for her, or wanted something that George never wanted.
Juliet finally knew what it felt like to be cared for by a man. She liked how it felt.
While Susannah stayed distant, she still did plenty of baking as Christmas approached. She struggled with her feelings and her sadness at hurting Drew. He gave her space. They were back to being nearly strangers.
She wished he would stare at her the way they once had. She realized that rejecting his advances had humiliated him. He kept away from her as much as possible. Suddenly, Susannah missed everything about him. She remembered his kiss and she was lost for a moment in the memory of how his lips felt on hers.
“Jack and I will be back,” he said, stomping into the kitchen in his thick coat.
His voice startled her out of her memory. She looked at him and smiled as much as she could.
“Where are you two going? The weather doesn’t look good.”
“You don’t need to pretend to worry about us. Jack told me.”
“Told you what?”
He pulled her aside like he had so many times, and her heart fluttered, wondering if he’d repeat the same sentiments to her he had before.
“I know you’re leaving.”
Chapter 23
“Who told you that? That I’m leaving?”
“Juliet told Jack this isn’t what you want.”
She looked down, tears forming in her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to hurt anyone. Especially Drew.
“Oh, Drew. This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out. I wanted to give you and your brothers a nice Christmas. I know this time of year meant a lot to your mother, and I wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for me and Juliet. You know, taking us in like you have.”
“What could I have done differently, Susannah?”
He stared at her with determination and heartache. She couldn’t stop the tears as they fell from her eyes.
“You’ve been in a shell since you arrived. I know I’ve made mistakes and I’m not the refined husband you’re looking for. I apologize for being just a humble cattle rancher.”
“It’s nothing you did, Drew,” Susannah cried. “And it’s certainly not about who you are.”
“Then why do you flinch every time you’re near me? Why don’t you want me to get to know you?”
“I don’t know,” she protested, feeling his warmth overwhelm her and his eyes drawing her in further.
“I don’t know who I am when I’m with you.”
“This ought to be a great Christmas,” he replied saddened. “Like I said, Jack and I will be back, but you need not concern yourself about us. You already have your bags packed.”
He turned from her and left out the back door, his coat quickly covered in snow. Susannah left the kitchen, crying, dealing with her own struggles that wouldn’t resolve.
Jack loaded the horses in the barn, patting their heads and talking his frustration out with them. Juliet sneaked in, watching him. His dark hair and strong arms made her heart quake.
“I heard you and Drew are riding out to Archer.”
He turned around to look at her with only a little surprise.
“Be back for Christmas,” he mumbled. He wasn’t his usual self, but brooding and more complex than she had ever seen. “Oh, that’s right, you probably won’t even be here when we get back. We’re you planning to get out of here while we’re gone?”
“Jack,” she whispered, her emotions swelling up inside her. When Juliet felt something, it had to come out before she exploded.
She grabbed Jack’s face and kissed him hard and long. Jack dropped his supplies to the ground and his arms went around her. He ran his fingers through her long, dark hair, and pulled her closer. She was on her tiptoes to get closer. The waiting was over and they finally came together in this one, perfect kiss.
“You think I’m leaving now?” Juliet said with sass.
He smiled, kissing her again. “I sure hope not.”
“Now get on, you silly cowboy. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back.”
“I hope you keep those lips nice and warm because I’m going to do that again.”
“I expect nothing less.”
She smiled at him, pressing her finger to her lips, remembering their magical moment. She turned and walked out with a dreamy look on her face.
Drew passed her as she was walking out. She barely noticed him. He turned and watched her as she headed to the guest house.
He looked sad and down trodden. Jack’s spirits had suddenly improved and he slapped his brother on the back trying to lighten the mood. Their horses were ready, so they rode off together into the snow.
Archer was only a five-mile ride. The brothers needed to discuss business for an upcoming auction, and the absence from Susannah couldn’t have come at a better time for Drew.
It seemed that they were at an impasse. Perhaps Susannah could sort through whatever turmoil wanted to drive her from here. He wasn’t sure she was willing to sort through her feelings, though. He could hope, but there were no guarantees.
Drew could only hope Juliet could talk some sense into her. If not that, he hoped a miracle or something would convince her to stay.
Drew’s eyes turned to Jack’s whose gleam and sparkled returned suddenly.
“What’s with you?”
Jack’s smile stretched from ear to ear.
Chapter 24
While the snow drifted in and fell hard after the boys left, Susannah began to panic. A big storm was rolling in and Drew and Jack were out in the middle of it all. Now Drew knew she was unhappy, she worried that would affect him in the storm.
Ross and Pete helped the girls decorate the house further and slaughtered their fattest pig for Christmas Eve dinner. Hopefully the boys would return in time to celebrate with the family.
Susannah acted more and more hysterical, scolding Juliet when they were alone.
“Why would you tell Jack I was leaving? You two aren’t even that close. In fact, you hate Jack.”
Juliet realized her confession to Jack had made a mess of things for Susannah and Drew.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know he’d say anything.”
“He’s Drew’s brother. Of course he would say something. Now Drew’s out there, hating me, and I can’t make things better between us. I never wanted to hurt him.”
“Well you have, Susannah. He cares for you. He doesn’t want you to cook and serve him. He wants you.”
“How do you know?”
“It’s obvious, Susannah. Everyone can see it but you. Besides, Drew is easy on the eyes and turning real corners, thanks to you. Why you’re so opposed to giving him a chance is beyond me.”
“But why did you tell you Jack?”
Juliet turned from her sister. “Ross, we need more garland around the front door.”
Susannah
had so much cooking and baking to get done, it helped keep her mind off of Drew and their argument. She stayed busy most of the day. She was especially glad her cooking skills had improved. She just hoped Drew would show up to eat the special meal.
The next day, the day before Christmas Eve, the family expected Drew and Jack back before supper. When they didn’t show up, even Pete, the second oldest, grew worried.
“Maybe Ross and I should go look for them.”
“No,” Susannah cried. “What if you two get lost too?”
“It’s strange they’re not back. I’m starting to get worried something’s happened to them,” Ross said.
“They did say there was a chance they’d be longer. Let’s not panic yet.” Pete looked at each of them with what appeared to be confidence.
“Don’t be hysterical,” Juliet said, her face flushed and her chest heaving as the grew more nervous for Jack and Drew stuck out in the storm. “They’re fine. They have to be.”
“Do you think you could get some help from the men in town to look with you?” Susannah asked.
“Maybe,” Pete said. “We’ll do something like that if we need to. We’ll wait and see.”
They continued to prepare for Christmas just as if Drew and Jack weren’t late. Susannah stayed busy, but her mind wasn’t completely on what she was doing.
She kept thinking about Drew, out in the snow storm, cold and hating her. His sparkling eyes and handsome face flashed across her mind. The easy way he helped her in the kitchen was something she’d taken for granted.
His hands on her face. His lips on hers. What was she thinking? How did her mind wander here? Things would never work for them. Why couldn’t she stop remembering that kiss?
Juliet paced the floorboards in the hearth room where the tree stood in the corner. The hours passed and the snow piled higher and higher. Where could they be? Wherever they were, Juliet prayed they were safe.
Chapter 25
Christmas Miracles: Mega Mail Order Bride 20-Book Box Set: Multi-Author Box Set Page 55
