“What do ya mean?” He edged away from her and toward Sam.
“It doesn’t matter, not right now.” Choked with emotion, she tried to explain, “I guess you was a real good judge of character, ‘cause Gloria was a ma to us; treated us like her own.”
“Good to hear that. I thought she might be. That’s why I deeded the land to her when I was injured…I didn’t think at the time I’d make it back at all. I wanted you and Sam taken care of.”
“She worked so hard to make sure we had everything. She read your letters to us. We knew you went to war, that you sent Gloria the deed; she must have known something about her death ‘cause she had the deed transferred into my name. But, being a Negro, I figured someone would want me off the land, so I went to the Marshal, the one she was sweet on and asked him to witness those papers. That way, if they wouldn’t recognize me, they might honor his signature. And the judge did. But I saw the death announcement in the paper one day and it was such a shock. Me and Sam, we knew you wanted us to take care of the place. That’s why we came. But we don’t belong here; and if we leave maybe the trouble will go too, besides, this is your home. We’ll go if you want us to, we won't mind. We don’t want to bring more on you.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, you’ll stay here where you belong. Now, how’d you get a judge to let you in the place?”
“Joe.”
She shook her head and a tear fell. For the first time, her eyes met his and burned with a brilliance. Lee wanted to kiss her right there, but Sam was still standing beside him and he wasn’t sure it was a good idea.
“Knew what?” Lee asked, staring into her dark eyes.
“That…me and Sam wanted to come out here, with you.”
Lee closed his eyes and smiled. “I’m glad you came.”
“I didn’t know nowhere else to go.”
Lee nodded. “You did right. I planned to come get you when I was settled anyway. That is if you wanted to come. Gloria too.”
“Then you’re not mad at me?” she asked, almost breathlessly.
“Not at all,” he admitted. “I’m very pleased.”
“As far as I’m concerned this is where you belong unless you want to leave. Now tell me, has Frank ever hurt you before?” Lee asked.
“He’s been a little aggressive, but never quite as bad as tonight. Why does he want me? He can have any woman in the valley I’m sure.”
Lee frowned and looked at Sam. “He wants to destroy you. For who you are, what you are. Owning land in Alabama isn’t safe, Hattie. I didn’t stop to think about that but I thought you’d have Gloria. The Jeffries look down on people, like many others I guess. And because you are a desirable, beautiful woman and he wants you that way too. And it angers him that he wants you. It’s a little hard to understand I guess from your viewpoint. But a love-hate relationship is very dangerous. And it’s very dangerous for you to be alone here. He wants to tear you down, for all to see, and make you as filthy as he sees you.”
Hattie nodded. “I know…but I won’t let him.”
“Wrong, we won’t let him.”
He looked at Sam now. “You’ve done gone and grown up on me, Sam.”
Sam smiled.
After a long talk, Sam relaxed and sat down, but Hattie seemed to want to settle some things. “You won’t regret letting us stay on, Lee. I’ll continue to keep the house up, the meals cooked and help in the fields when I can. And Sam, why, he’s almost a man, he can…”
Lee stared at her from across the room. He came stomping up to her. “You won’t be my slave, Hattie. You nor Sam. You’re family. Remember that, both of you. My family.”
“That’s right, and family helps family.” Sam smiled at Lee. “But I gotta get some sleep. I promised to help Joe tomorrow. Night, Lee. Night, Hattie.” Then as though he thought of something he turned around. “I’m shore glad you’re home.”
“Me too. Now get some sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow, Sam. Night.”
“But we’re not family!” she finally cried out once she knew Sam was gone.
“Dammit,” he ground out and brought her against him. Their lips met in a storm of emotions. His lips were harsh and cruel at first, but when she softened against him, he groaned and pulled her closer, exploring her inner recess with his hot mating tongue. Her hands clinched, and unclinched against him, as she added fuel to the fire with her complete submission. For long moments, they held each other, kissing, loving, touching.
He finally turned loose of her with a hard thrust and stared into her eyes.
“I gotta get some air.” And he stomped nosily out the door. He stared at her over his shoulder. “That was as good as I thought it would be. Maybe better.” Then he slammed the door with a thud.
***
Joe helped Lee move into the house. But Lee was determined not to stay too close. Until he decided exactly where Hattie did belong he needed to stay away, to think clearly. In reality, Hattie was black and he was white and Alabama would never accept them as a couple. Lee knew it. He hated it, but he knew it. No preacher would marry them here. And if he did what he wanted, he’d be no better than Frank, making her his love slave. He would not do that to her. She was a good person, a decent person. He would not shame her. But as God was his witness, he wanted her. He wanted to claim her as his own. He’d watch out for her from a distance. Living in the same quarters as she, was also dangerous for her too, in more ways than one.
He worked long hours in the field, took his meals with all of them and stayed away as much as possible.
Hattie hadn’t said much about it. But the kids came into his room from time to time to talk to him. All but Daisy; she was the suspicious one.
“Mama says we’re family now,” Violet said one afternoon when he was pulling his boots off.
Lee smiled and looked at her cute little face, her hair in pigtails, with ribbons at the bottom. “Yes, that’s right. We’re all one family now.”
“I’m glad. I like you, Mr. Luke…” She smiled. “And I’m glad you are gonna take care of my Mama.”
“And I like you, too, but you must call me Lee now, okay?” He dotted her cute little nose with his finger. Violet was such a delightful child. “And I’m gonna take care of all of you.”
She giggled.
Hattie saw them through the doorway as she passed and stopped. “Violet, come help me set the table, honey.”
Violet scampered out of the room. “But what should I call you?” She grinned.
“Well, I think we need to sit down and talk about that, sweetheart,” Lee called. He didn’t look up at Hattie. He kept fumbling with his gun belt. He’d started wearing it every day to the field.
“Can I call you Uncle?” she asked shyly.
“For now, that’s fine. Maybe we’ll change that later, but for now, Uncle is fine.” Lee wished he could explain all this to them but it was hard enough trying to understand it himself. All he knew was he loved Hattie, and he’d give anything if he could marry her legally. If she wanted it. That part hadn’t been decided yet.
“Uncle?” Hattie called from the doorway her brows arching.
“She said she’s glad we are family.” Lee tried to chuckle to ease the tension between them. It had been building since the night she was hurt. The air was thick with unspoken things. It was too soon to do anything. Time would help him figure things out.
She stared openly at him, as he took his shirt off.
He heard her gasp, and smiled. At least she was affected by his nakedness. He liked that too.
“Thought I might shave.” He glanced over his shoulder at her. But her eyes were trained on him now and he smiled. As always, Hattie made no secret of her feelings. Her looks galvanized him to the spot. “I wouldn’t stare like that, if I were you.”
“It’s about time you shaved. Want me to cut your hair?” she asked, completely changing the subject.
“That’s a tempting thought.” He smiled at her crookedly. He fingered his beard. “But maybe I better c
ut it, after I get rid of the beard. It shore does itch. It’s just a matter of time before people start to recognize me anyhow. Especially since I’m living in the house. They’ll wonder.”
She blushed and didn’t meet his eyes. “We can move out if you want us to. Just say the word. It might be better if we did.”
Lee looked down at her now. “Why would I want that? Been meaning to ask you if you think we should share the same room or not.”
Her breath hitched. “Are you laughing at me?”
He studied her then smiled. “Not at all. Would it be so bad, sharing a room?”
“Don’t tease me, Lee.”
“I’m not teasing. I think we need some time to get to know each other again. But I definitely think it’s a great idea. I know…I’d like it.”
He came up to her, his hand going to her cheek to stoke it.
He’d only meant to give her a light kiss, but she bent her cheek to his hand and looked into his eyes with such burning desire. Slowly she moved willingly to go into his arms and he suddenly crushed her against him, feeling the soft pillows of her breasts mashed against his bare chest, and the eager response from her lips, had him exploring the inner recesses of her mouth, his tongue delving deep inside her throat, needing more with each thrust. Deeper and deeper ‘til they were both on fire. He pulled her hard against him so she would know the effects she had on him and she moaned softly when his lips slid down her neck and her head fell back and gave him leave. He nibbled the edge of her ear and blew breath there. His lips traveled down her neck, and on down further to the mature cleavage.
“I wanted you to know how you stand with me, Hattie. I been thinkin’ about that kiss you gave me way back then. I haven’t forgotten one moment of it. Now’s even better. We’ve got to find a way to be together. We can’t be apart any longer. It’s been too long now.”
She gasped, but she didn’t move out of his arms. Suddenly, she went stiff in his arms. “I’m vulnerable, Lee. You know how I feel about you. But I don’t know how you feel. Not in so many words. And until I do, kisses will be all you get from me. If you want more, you’ll have to tell me the truth. You’ll have to say the words. I know you are a white man and I’m a Negro and what we have is wrong, but it’s there, nonetheless. It always has been. We want each other, we always have. It ain’t changed in all this time, and it ain’t gonna change now. But I need to hear the words from your mouth. I need to know with certainty that this isn’t just lust.”
He stopped, and let her go. “Hattie…”
She turned a hurting smile on him. “You know how I feel. I don’t know how you feel.”
“You can cut my hair in a few minutes, if you have the time.” He smiled from a distance. “And we’ll get to that sooner or later, Hattie. That I promise.”
“For now, I guess stolen kisses will have to do, for both of us.”
“Is that enough?”
“It’ll have to be.”
“Then I’ll have to make sure I get a lot of those in every day…”
“Lord,” he sighed when she finally walked away, watching her hips move seductively from side to side in those pants. His loins tightened even more. How would he keep his hand off of her? He certainly couldn’t keep his mind or eyes off of her. She filled his days and nights with such agony.
He grabbed the old razor strap and the old shaving mug. Brushing the soap on his face, he knew he needed some time to cool down before going downstairs. She was family now, he reminded himself for the hundredth time. Slowly, he shaved the beard off his chin. He stared into the mirror and shook his head. Then he took the scissors and started clipping his hair back. When he went downstairs, he looked like an entirely different man. Hattie took one look and drew a deep breath. Her approval was in the blatant stare she gave him. Her desire was there, in her eyes, open for him to see.
“Well,” her voice came out soft and husky. “You look much…better…” She tried to smile.
“Thank you.” He smiled back.
Sam came through the door. “We got some troubles. It’s rainin’ and we ain’t picked the rest of the corn.”
“Then let’s move, partner…” Lee smiled at him.
Sam smiled back and they went out the door.
***
Hattie realized that evening when he shaved that it was now even harder to resist the man that came to be her family. Her hands itched to touch his clean shaven face, to touch him, all of him. What held him back, she wondered. She certainly hadn’t tried.
He seemed totally unaware of how fine a man he was. From his massive shoulders that bulged when he worked with his shirt off, to his narrow hips, he was all man. His lack of an arm hadn’t taken a thing away from him. He still held his own, with work, and with loving, she smiled, remembering how he touched her cheek so sweetly.
Secretly, she liked it when he took his shirt off though. She would stare from afar at his muscles moving as he worked. The fact that he had a missing arm didn’t phase her. He was still gorgeous to her. Everything about him ignited a fire inside her that she couldn’t squash. She wanted him. Needed him, loved him. But there was lust too, like now, when she stared so at him, wanting him. Her fingers itched to run freely in his dark auburn hair. She’d never seen a color of hair like that on a man and it captivated her. His eyes, though, mesmerized her every time he looked at her. The way he stared at her, the way his eyes undressed her, it was the first time a man looked at her that way that she no longer wanted to turn away, but toward. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. A shiver ran through her, thinking about them coming together. Deep down, she admitted he was the very first man she wanted so badly she could almost taste the sweat rolling from his massive chest. How could she so blatantly want him? Could lust and love go together? They had to because she felt both. And how could she hide it from everyone, from him. She knew her eyes spoke for her, her body too. She couldn’t be around him without her nipples puckering as if for his kisses. The thought of him kissing her there made her grow warm and wet between her legs: a new experience that both thrilled and scared her. The fantasy of him touching her there, kissing her there, made her weak, her knees were shaking every time she thought about it, and she thought about it every day. The longing grew with each passing moment. The unspoken, more silent. Not having him was like some strange foreplay.
Part of it began with the way he looked at her. Not as though she was just another woman, but as though she was desirable and the only woman. Maybe she read him wrong. Of course there were other things that alerted her. Parts of him were very obvious too, sometimes so much so she wondered how he could walk, just like parts of her were. She smiled to herself with satisfaction. At least she knew he wanted her. Things had evened out through the years. The age difference no longer mattered. The problem lay with the fact that she wanted him right back. All of him, inside her. Dreamin’ of havin’ him inside her made her so hot she could hardly work. Admitting it to herself was both thrilling and bold. That thought filled her with such excitement sometimes she grew weak from it. It was a new awareness for herself that made her tremble. How would it be to finally have her Lee? She relished it, prized it, and kept it close to her heart, because it was a secret longing.
The fact that others might see this made her look at herself in the mirror one day. Dear Lord, just thinking of him made her body come to life. No wonder he stared so. It was like hanging a sign around her neck. She wished they weren’t so obvious. She had to do something about it. Before someone noticed.
One morning, she decided to try to hide her breasts. She stuffed a couple of rags into her camisole and looked. She had no fancy clothes to wear that could hide such a thing. She wore these ugly clothes to distract any man from looking at her. Other men had thought her pretty, before. The last thing she wanted was trouble. She pulled the rags out, then folded them neatly and stuffed them back in. There, that was better.
She threw her hair into her hat too, anything to make herself less appealing to him.
In fact, when she thought on it, she wondered why he was attracted; she wore men’s pants, and shirt. She wore a flop hat. She didn’t look like some desirable lady. So why was he looking at her as though she were?
He could be in trouble wanting her. Maybe she needed to act more put out with him or something, so he wouldn’t want her. The last thing she wanted was to bring him trouble. Maybe she needed to be a shrew around him. That would turn him off quickly. But did she want to turn him away? Her heart said one thing, her mind another.
For just a few minutes, she wanted to relish the feeling that he wanted her. That he didn’t care that she was a Negro. For just a few minutes, she wanted to dream about him taking her. It was, after all, just a dream. What would it be like for him to touch her? His thin wide lips caressing her nipples and making them pucker. Heck, he didn’t have to touch her to do that, she smiled. Already she felt herself grow hot from the needs he invited with merely his eyes. It was a way of flirting, she supposed. A way of making love, to eye each other with such longing.
Feeling more confident about herself, she joined them at the table that morning and smiled.
“What’s for breakfast, Miss Hattie?” Joe asked with a chuckle as he sipped his coffee.
“I got bacon and pancakes, that ought to hold you two ‘til lunch,” she said with determination.
If Lee noticed her attire, he never said a word. Strangely, she didn’t notice any bulges in his pants either. That made her feel as though she had accomplished something. They were adults; they had to act like adults. She had three wonderful children and she wouldn’t hurt them by shaming them. But Lord, she wanted Mr. Lee, and she needed to stop wanting him so much.
“You spoil us, Miss Hattie.” Lee smiled up at her, at last able to face her without regrets.
“You’re both hardworking men, you need a good meal,” she insisted, trying her best not to look directly at Lee.
The kids piled around the table and Joe tickled Lily ‘til she laughed.
Just One Kiss (The Dream Catcher Series-Book Two) Page 11
