by Lena North
I remained where I was as the hours slowly passed, scanning the surroundings, and waiting for dawn. When a bird suddenly screeched, I got to my feet and raised the gun, but the night was silent. I turned and squealed. Carson stood in the door, holding a long rifle aimed at the forest but looking at me.
“Heard something,” he muttered.
When there were no other sounds, we sat down on the couch and waited as the night started shifting into gray dawn. Suddenly there was movement in the trees to the side of the house, so I got to my feet, raised the rifle, and felt Carson at my side.
“Don’t come closer or I’ll shoot, and it won’t be a warning shot,” Carson called out.
There was a short silence, and then we heard a deep voice.
“You’ve locked the front door.”
Miller.
“Jesus, brother,” Carson muttered.
I lowered the rifle mutely. My brain had registered that it was Miller, but I hadn’t expected him, so I just stood there. Carson pulled the weapon gently out of my hands and smiled at his brother as he walked up the steps to the porch, tired, muddy, and full of cuts and bruises. My knees gave out under me, so I sat down abruptly.
“Kit’s fine,” Miller murmured, and crouched down, putting his hands on either side of my legs. “We got them all. You don’t have to worry anymore, baby.”.
“I wasn’t afraid, Miller. You were the one who worried. I knew you’d keep me safe,” I whispered.
He watched me in silence and something I couldn’t identify passed over his face.
“I’ll leave you,” Carson said.
I turned to him, but his eyes were on his brother.
“A long time ago, I was afraid and confused. I’d just met Bo, and had no clue how to deal with that,” he said quietly. “You sat me down and told me that happiness was precious and hard to find, so I needed to grab it with both hands and hold on tight. I’m passing that message back to you now, brother.”
They shared a long look and whatever Carson saw in his brother’s eyes made him smile softly.
“I’ll wake Bo up, and we’ll head out for a while. We’ll be back tomorrow.”
I didn’t say anything, and neither did Miller, not until Carson’s footsteps had faded away.
“I should know better, baby, but I’m giving in now.”
“What?” I asked.
“Let’s get you to bed,” he said and got to his feet.
When he leaned down to lift me off the couch, I jumped up.
“I’ll walk, and you need a shower.”
“Yeah,” he said and put an arm around me, tucking me closely into his side.
I sat on the bed in my room and listened to the shower. Then Miller walked out with a towel around his hips and nothing else, and my mouth went dry.
“We’re both tired, honey. Can we sleep for a while, and talk later?” he asked gently.
“Okay,” I said, and I wished I’d sounded a little bit more mature and a lot less breathy.
I moved the cover to the side, and when I turned, he’d put on a pair of boxer briefs, but nothing else.
“Mary,” he said, and leaned his head a little to the side. “I’m going to sleep with you. Is that okay?”
“Sleep-sleep… or sleep?” I asked, and when his eyes lit up with laughter, I could have kicked myself because it sounded so stupid.
“Both,” he said and moved toward me.
I laughed breathlessly but didn’t know what to say, so I got into bed, and so did he. I expected it to feel awkward, but it wasn’t. He was on his back, and of its own accord, my body rolled into his side. He put his arm around me, and I let my hand slide down his chest to rest on his abs. I thought he’d fallen asleep, when I suddenly heard him murmur drowsily, “Sleep-sleep now, baby, and… sleep when we wake up, okay?”
I nuzzled my chin against his shoulder and replied quietly, “Yeah.”
That was absolutely okay, and I thought that I’d never relax after what he said, but after a few minutes I heard his breaths evening out, and just a little while later, mine did too.
C
hapter Eleven
You’ll regret this
I was pressed to Miller's side, watching his relaxed face and how his mouth curved in a smug smile. He should look satisfied, though. After a few hours of sleep, I’d woke up by his hands slowly moving over me, and we’d made love. That’s what it felt like to me, at least, and as I’d watched the gentle look on his face, I thought he felt the same. Except for eating a very late dinner, we’d stayed in my bed. We’d talked about how they’d captured the men, and about what would happen to them, but we’d deliberately avoided talking about the future, pushing it forward to another time. Mostly we didn’t talk at all, though, and I smiled because it had felt as if he couldn’t get enough of me, and since I couldn’t get enough of him, that felt good.
I was so busy staring at him that his hand moving over my ribs startled me, and I gasped.
“Baby?” he chuckled.
“I thought you’d be tired,” I mumbled.
The hair on his chest tickled my lips a little, and I smiled.
“Uh-uh,” he murmured as he rolled over me and started trailing his lips along my jaw.
“Are you really sure you’re thirty-something?” I asked but could have kicked myself when he stopped moving.
“Yeah,” he said and raised his head.
“Is that a problem?” I asked, desperately hoping that he wouldn’t start talking about me being too young. Not yet.
“Not for me,” he said. “Not sure about you.”
Damn.
It was going to be a problem.
“Age is just a number,” I whispered.
“That’s easier to say when you’re twenty-something,” he retorted.
“Mill, I feel like fifty most of the time, and you have the stamina of a fifteen-year-old,” I said lightly. “It’ll only be a problem if we make it a problem.”
His eyes were on me, and suddenly they softened.
“Like a fifteen-year-old,” he murmured and lowered his head again to nip my neck gently. “That sounds like a challenge…”
My squeal turned into laughter, and then he kissed me.
“What in the hell,” an angry voice barked out by the door, and we jerked around to find Kit standing there, looking like a thundercloud.
He turned around and disappeared, and my eyes met Miller’s.
“Shit,” I whispered.
“Yeah,” he sighed. “I’ll talk to him.”
“I should –”
“No, baby, you shouldn’t. This is for me.”
He rolled out of bed, pulled his jeans and tee on and walked out of the room, pulling his hands through his hair as he walked.
“What the hell are you doing?” Kit shouted, and I heard Miller’s deep voice murmur something.
I got dressed, pulled my hair back in a braid, and then I walked out to face my ex-boyfriend, of sorts, who happened to be the nephew of my current lover. What a mess, I thought.
They were by the door, and when Kit saw me, he sneered, and hissed, “No wonder you played so hard to get.”
“Kit,” I said slowly.
“Baby, go back to your room,” Miller murmured. “You’re not helping.”
“Baby,” Kit snorted. “She is that.” Then he turned to me again, “I guess fucking grandpa over there was an experience.”
His ugly words made me take a step backward, and I was about to shout at him when I saw Carson and Bo in the open door. They just stood there, taking in the scene in front of them. At the same time, Miller moved, and he moved so quickly Kit had no chance to react before he was picked up by a strong hand underneath his jaw and pressed up against the wall.
“I get that you’re pissed, boy. But you’re pissed at me, not her, so keep your focus where it should be.”
“She’s just a slut,” Kit grunted, and I thought Miller woul
d strangle him.
This jerked Carson and Bo into motion, and they both started dragging Miller off his nephew. Then Hawker walked through the door, and it took him less than a second to understand what was going on. He gave me a look that was so menacing I took a few more steps back.
“That’s right,” he growled. “Back all the way into that room of yours. You need to disappear.”
I did what he told me, and heard how they all shouted at each other.
“Stop it!” Carson roared, finally, and this got everyone’s attention.
I sank down on the bed and exhaled. This was worse than anything I ever could have imagined, and it turned out it had only started.
“Kit, get in the kitchen and calm the hell down. Bo, stop pushing Miller around and join him,” Carson barked out, and I could hear his army training in his voice.
“You do not get to give me orders, Carson,” Bo shouted right back. “Our boy is –”
“I know what our boy is, Bo, so get in the kitchen with him and dry his tears for heaven’s sake,” Carson roared.
“She was my girlfriend,” Kit yelled, and I gasped.
“Was. And I warned you about this, son,” Carson rumbled.
“You’re taking his side, Da? You’re on his side and not on mine?”
“It isn’t about sides,” Carson growled, and then I heard Bo say something that sounded nasty, and I started crying.
I was breaking up their family. I loved Miller, but I couldn’t be responsible for this. He’d get tired of his young girlfriend, and then where would he be?
“Hawk, calm him down,” I heard Carson order, and realized that the shouting had stopped.
Then there was a long silence, and I got to my feet, hoping that they’d all moved away from the front door. I had to get away from them. You need to disappear. That’s what Hawker had said, and he was right. If I left, they could sit down and talk like the adults they were, and I wouldn’t have to listen to Miller tell me that he chose his family over me, which I knew he would, and even agreed that he should. Why pick someone like me over the close bond he had with his brother and Bo?
I threw some underwear and a couple of t-shirts in my bag, and then I heard Hawker.
“Is it worth it?”
“Is Sloane worth it?” Miller retorted, and it was clear that he hadn’t calmed down even a little.
“Don’t compare Sloane with fucking a twelve-year-old,” Hawker sneered, and Miller exploded.
“Go to hell,” he roared, and I heard a loud thump.
They were clearly fighting, and I realized that I was breaking up Miller’s friendship with Hawker too. I flipped through my sketch pad until I found a blank page, grabbed a pen and wrote “I’ll call you,” on it.
Suddenly footsteps echoed through the house, and I heard Carson’s voice, shouting at them both. I put the paper on the bed, opened the window, and had swung one leg over when Hawker spoke again, and his words cut right through me.
“You’ll regret this.”
I closed my eyes.
There it was.
I didn’t want to hear Miller’s reply, but I wasn’t fast enough getting out through the window. The voice that had been so soft when he whispered sweet words to me while we made love was suddenly hoarse and resigned.
“Yeah, Hawk, I know I will. There’s no need for you to tell me that.”
I slid the window shut and was walking toward my car when I heard Miller call out from the house. I stopped and closed my eyes, but didn’t turn.
“Baby,” he said, and I could hear him approaching.
Then Kit was shouting inside the house, and I heard Bo yelling too.
“Miller,” I said calmly and turned around. “Look, things are not good here, and you need to –”
“You’re leaving?” he asked.
His face looked guarded, and I swallowed.
“Just for a while,” I said. “You need time, and you have to see to your family.”
“I don’t need any goddamned time,” he growled, but I spoke over him immediately.
“Yes, you do, honey. You have to sort out the mess inside. I can’t be responsible for –”
“You’re not responsible for the idiots inside,” he snapped.
“Maybe,” I agreed even though I disagreed completely. “But this is tearing your family apart.”
We looked at each other in silence and then I heard Kit yell at the top of his lungs, “I hate you right now!”
I flinched, and so did Miller.
“I’ll leave for a while. Hawker was right, Mill, I need to disappear. I’ll call –”
I was interrupted when Bo rushed out on the porch.
“Mill, you have to come!” he yelled. “Carson and Kit are fighting, and Hawk can’t break them up.”
“Go,” I whispered.
“Baby…”
“I’ll call,” I said and turned toward my car, thinking that it’d be easier for him if I just took the decision out of his hands.
I didn’t look back until just before the road turned. I’d told Miller to go inside, and he had, so no one was watching me leave. I went over the mountain to the house Jinx had bought to have as a retreat. I’d decorated it for her, so I knew where the spare key was hidden, and I thought it would be a good first stop. I was crying a little as I pulled the key out from its unoriginal hiding place under a flower pot by the front door, and let myself in. I didn’t turn on any lights, and went straight to Jinx’ bedroom, closed the blinds, crept under the covers, and continued crying. I didn’t sleep much that night. Mostly, I lay curled up in a ball, wondering how things could have gone so bad so quickly. Everything had happened fast, but however I twisted things around in my head, I knew I’d done what was right for Miller and his family when I left. Kit had been furious, though when I thought about it, he’d been so very wrong, and also overreacted in a way that I couldn’t understand. When I thought about Carson and Bo, I started crying again. They had done so much for me, and they had been so angry. I wasn’t sure if they were upset with me, Miller or Kit. Maybe it was a little with all of us, but it didn’t matter. They were still angry, and if they hadn’t invited me to stay in their home, that ugly fight wouldn’t have happened.
The bright sun woke me up early the next morning, and I realized that I should have gotten Jinx dark curtains for her bedroom window. I’d enjoyed getting furniture for her little house, and had added small things to make it cozy without finishing it off completely, thinking that she would want to do that herself. On the wall over the bed, I’d put two paintings that had been part of Wilder’s grandfather’s collection. Very few of his items came on the market, so when I heard about them, I’d snapped them up quickly, knowing that Jinx had liked the old man and would appreciate having a small memory of him. There was no way she’d move to the house, though. She’d taken to the beach and the way of life in Marshes immediately, and she and Dante might want to use the house as a weekend cabin, but I doubted it, so I should tell her about the paintings. Perhaps she’d want to bring them to her home by the sea instead, and since they were done in shades of blue with a few red splashes, I thought they’d look good by the ocean.
As I walked around in the spacious living room, I thought about my options. I could go home to Prosper, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to go to Norton either, partially because it was Miller’s home though mostly since Hawker’s words still hurt. Marshes, I decided. I’d go to Jinx and Dante in Marshes. They’d let me stay, and I could think about things there.
I dug my phone out from the bottom of my bag and stared at it. I had several missed calls from Miller, a voice message, and three text messages. There were messages from the others too. Two from Bo, the same from Carson. One from Kit. Several from my girlfriends.
With hands that shook, I opened the text messages from Miller, but they were short. “Call me,” and, “At least let me know you’re okay,” and finally, angrily, “Mary, what th
e hell?”
I listened to his short voice message, and it was mostly just another order to call him. I’d have to let them all know I was okay, I thought. Feeling like a coward, I sent text messages to Carson, Bo, and Wilder. Then I called Jinx, and she clearly knew that something had happened, but she didn’t ask any questions and told me calmly to come and said that we’d talk when I got there. I stared at my phone for a long time, and then I called Miller.
“Baby,” he said before the first signal had gone through.
“Hey,” I whispered.
“Where are you?”
“I’m on my way to Marshes,” I said. “I’ll be with Jinx and Dante for a few days.”
He was silent for a long time.
“You need time,” I said.
“I told you yesterday, Mary, I don’t need –”
“You do,” I insisted. “Maybe I do too,” I admitted.
“Okay,” he said immediately.
We were silent for a long time again, and I heard him breathing. Tears started running down my cheeks, and I tried to hide it, but he heard.
“Baby, don’t cry,” he murmured.
“They were so angry,” I sniffled.
“It’s okay,” he said.
I wasn’t sure what he meant, and nothing was okay at all, but I didn’t want to talk about it until I had calmed down a little.
“I’ll call you,” I said.
“You don’t have to go,” he replied quietly.
“Yeah, Mill, I have to. I can’t…”
I started crying again, and I heard him sigh.
“Okay,” he said.
He sounded tired, and I knew that this whole situation was hard on him.
“I’ll call,” I said again, and without hesitating, I closed the call.
I sat on the back porch for a while, trying to gather my thoughts. Suddenly a bird swept down through the trees and landed on the porch rail in front of me. It was a red kite, and I recognized it immediately.
