by Lena North
“Well hell, now what?” Miller sighed.
“Can I talk to Mary?” Kit asked.
“Sure you can,” Miller said and didn’t move an inch.
“In private,” Kit clarified.
“You called her a whore and a thief, Kit. I won’t interfere, but I won’t leave,” Miller said calmly.
“Didn’t hear you protesting at the time,” Kit snarled.
“Been in love since I first caught sight of her, you don’t think the news of my upcoming fatherhood was a bit of a shock?”
“Since you laid eyes on her?” Kit had straightened, and his eyes narrowed. “Why the hell didn’t you do something sooner?”
“You were the one calling me grandpa, you figure it out.”
They were getting angrier, and I could see that they were heading toward another ugly argument, so I stepped forward.
“Why are you so angry, Kit? You never loved me. You loved the picture of me in your life,” I said.
“You’re right, I didn’t love you. But I could have loved you, and it hurt that you didn't give me a chance,” he said gently, and his eyes went back to Miller. “And, yeah, I called you a grandpa. Didn’t think for a second you’d take it seriously. You’re… Miller.”
“I am.”
“You know how they talk about you in the village, how everyone admires you. How women throw themselves –”
“Boy,” Miller cut him off.
They stared at each other for a long time, and I couldn’t interpret the look on either of their faces.
“It stung, Mill,” Kit said, finally. “To be less, again, it –”
“Kit, I never thought you were less. None of us did,” I interrupted quietly.
“We do now,” Miller stated.
“What?”
“Baby, we all valued Kit. His determination, his drive. Who he is. I’m a stronger fighter than him, and a good second in command, that’s it. Can’t do the technical surveillance shit he can. Byrd is better at intel, though she’s the worst fighter there is. Mac is a fantastic sniper, a decent fighter, but he can’t deal with loads of data the way Kit can. Hawker is a phenomenal leader, drives us all to be our best. He puts all strategies in place, and when he gives you one of his looks, you’ll follow him to hell and back. But he sucks at just about everything else. Don’t tell him I said so, but his aim is godawful. Can’t hit a tree trunk from ten feet. So yeah, Kit isn’t the best anything, but he’s good at everything. He’s the back-up for everyone, in a way no one else can be. Add everything up, and he beats us all. Except, he couldn’t see that. Kills his father that he couldn’t make his boy see that.”
Kit stared at his uncle, opening and closing his mouth a few times but not saying anything.
“But now,” Miller continued, and his voice hardened. “Telling Mac he lives off Wilder’s money? Bailing out of missions. Fighting his family and lying about you?”
He turned to look Kit straight in the eyes as he delivered the final blow.
“He’s less now.”
There was another short silence, and then Kit sank down in one of the big armchairs, leaned forward and put his face in his hands.
“Oh God,” he whispered.
“Kit…” I started but trailed off when he raised his head again and looked me straight in the eyes.
“I’m so, so sorry, Mary,” he said. “I’ll talk to the others. I was lying, and I’ll tell them.”
“You do that, boy,” Miller grunted.
“I’m so sorry,” Kit repeated, this time to his uncle.
Their eyes held for a long time and something that looked like sadness passed over Millers' face. I stepped closer and wrapped an arm around his waist.
“I don’t know what to do to make this go away,” Kit said.
“I was ten when you were born,” Miller countered.
“Huh?” Kit asked, echoing my thoughts.
“I can barely remember life without you in it, and I’ve been a part of your whole life. You know I love you,” Miller continued.
“Mill…”
“Kills me to say this to you, and it’s not about Mary. It’s about you,” Miller went on as if he hadn’t heard. Then he took a deep breath and declared, “You need to leave.”
“Are you kicking me out?”
“No. I’m asking you to think long and hard about what’s best for you. Nobody will ever kick you out of the group. Hell, none of the others would even say what I’m saying, and neither would either of your fathers,” Miller said. “But you need to figure out who you are, Kit. What kind of man you want to be. And I don’t think you can do that if you stay with the group.”
Kit was silent for a long time, staring up at the mountain and I could see his jaws clenching and unclenching. Then he sighed deeply.
“Crap,” he said. “I wish you were wrong.”
“Me too,” Miller said quietly.
“I’ll think about this,” Kit said. “I don’t want to leave, not really. And not now, like this.”
“Talk to Carson,” I whispered. “He’s on the outside, and he’s your dad. He’s clever and kind, and he’ll help you.”
“He doesn’t want to talk to me,” Kit muttered.
“Don’t act stupid,” Miller snorted. “He’s a phone call away, always. You know that.”
“My stuff is still on the porch back at their house,” Kit said.
“Continue being an ass, and it’ll stay there. Call your da, tell him you’re sorry and that you need him. Your shit will be back inside so quickly it’ll leave skid marks,” Miller said.
Kit looked at his uncle, and after a while, he smiled a little.
“Bo broke my nose,” he sighed.
“Laughed my ass off when I heard,” Miller replied instantly. “Laughed even more when I heard how he tried to get a cast on his hand because of the small red mark your nose apparently left on one of his knuckles.”
Kit snorted out laughter, and said, “I guess he’ll expect me to apologize for that.”
“Yup,” Miller said.
“Bring flowers,” I said quietly. “Flowers, sparkling wine, chocolates… Anything you can think of, Kit. Your fathers are the best men I know, so if I were you, I’d crawl up their lane on my belly. You have to make them listen to your apologies because what if you don’t and you find yourself without them? You lost your mother, so you know what I’m talking about, Kit. Don’t hold on too hard to your pride.”
He swallowed and nodded, murmuring, “I hear what you’re saying, Mary.”
I nodded too and turned to walk inside.
“I’ll call for pizza, are you staying, Kit?”
“Sure he is,” Miller replied, just as calmly, and winked at me as he strolled across the porch to help me with the rickety lock on the garden door.
I ordered pizza, and since the men seemed deep in discussions, got the spare keys to Miller’s truck and went to get it. There was a short discussion in the pizza place when I tried to pay, which ended with me tucking the money back in my pocket with a glare toward the laughing woman behind the counter. The pizza would apparently go on Miller’s bill, which he paid monthly. Then I went home, grabbed some paper napkins, a pair of scissors, and walked back outside. When I’d cut the pizzas in slices, I found them staring at me.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Miller muttered. “I could have picked up the pizza.”
“I know that it’s a part of your competence profile, Mill, but you were busy, so I did it.”
“But –”
I immediately interrupted him by handing him a slice.
“They wouldn’t let me pay, it’s on your tab, so eat.”
His face softened, and I smiled at him and nudged the box closer to Kit. It felt strange to sit there on Miller’s back porch, which in reality was becoming my back porch too, sharing a pizza with Kit when the last time we’d been in the same place it had been so awful.
�
�This is weird,” Kit muttered suddenly.
“Yup,” Miller said and took a huge bite.
“Could have been worse,” I said, and they turned to me. “At least, I’ve only seen one of you naked.”
Their looks of astonishment mixed with annoyance were almost identical, and I scrounged up my nose a little.
“Just saying,” I murmured. “It would have been worse if I’d –”
“Baby,” Miller said, trying for sternly but failing, so it came out mostly choked.
“She’s right though,” Kit said, and I thought I heard laughter in his voice. “Should have told us something, that we were dating for months, and never even –”
“Okay, no,” Miller said, this time succeeding with sternly. “If we don’t want this to be awkward, then let’s not talk about the two of you dating. Let’s just take the ostrich approach to that brief period of time, stick our heads deep in the sand and pretend that it never happened, okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed but felt the tips of my mouth quiver a little.
“Okay,” Kit agreed and didn’t even try to stop his mouth from curving into a smile.
Then we went on to talk about the investigation into the drug cartel, but there were too many details that I didn’t understand, so I zoned out a little, thinking about the long day we’d had.
“How important is this company of yours?” Miller asked suddenly, and I turned to look at him.
“Huh?” Kit asked.
“Hawk and Byrd are trying to get someone into the Ophidians.”
“What?”
“They have made contact, and the leaders say it’s a rogue cell, but they’re a drug cartel. I don’t trust them, and neither does Hawk, so he’s trying to get someone into their ranks,” Miller explained, and I wondered why, and what parts of the conversation I’d missed.
“Give me six months,” Kit murmured.
“Kit, no,” I said, not quite sure what I was saying no to, but absolutely certain that it was something that would put him in harm’s way.
“Yes,” he said without even looking at me. “We plan to go international in a year. If I push it, we can do it sooner. I’ll step away from Hawker and the group, maybe we’ll fake another fight. The Ophidians are pretty high profile, and they’ll need the kind of security we’re offering. I could get in.”
Their eyes held and I wanted to protest, but Miller put his hand on mine and squeezed gently, so I didn’t.
“Let’s think about it for a while. No need to decide right now,” he murmured.
“Yeah,” Kit replied, but I could hear that he’d made his mind up.
“You should talk to Hawker, though,” Miller said.
“Yeah,” Kit repeated, although less decisively, and muttered, “Won’t that be fun.”
Suddenly Miller looked up toward where the mountain was clearly outlined against the dark sky, and I guessed his kite was communicating something.
“Get ready for fun, bud. He’ll be walking around the house just about…”
“What the hell?” and an angry voice echoed from behind me.
“… now,” Miller concluded with a grin.
“Hawk –”
“What in the hell?” Hawker expanded his greeting.
Miller sighed and got to his feet.
“You need to listen to him,” he said as he stepped in front of his friend.
“I don’t.”
They were silent for a short while, and then Miller sighed again.
“Name your price,” he said quietly.
“It’s worth that much that I listen to the little prick?” Hawk asked.
“Yeah.”
“The bet,” Hawker stated.
“Okay,” Miller agreed immediately.
I could only see Mill’s back but I saw Hawkers face clearly and when his eyebrows went up, so did mine.
“Shit,” he muttered.
“It’s my brother’s boy, Hawk,” Miller said. “But it’s more, and you know it. It’s Kit.”
“Yeah, okay,” Hawker muttered, and added sourly, “I was gearing up for a good fight. Guessing that won’t happen.”
“I’m sure you’ll piss me off later,” Miller said calmly.
“Yeah, probably,” Hawker replied with a chuckle, put a hand on Millers' shoulder, and squeezed it briefly.
I was starting to understand the dynamics between the two of them, so I smiled. They displayed their affection with insults, and fists, which I thought was juvenile beyond belief, but it was their way, and it clearly worked for them.
Kit cleared his throat, but Hawker’s mouth tightened at the sound so I supposed that Kit would have both some explanations and groveling ahead of him. I also guessed that it would be easier for him if I made myself absent, pronto.
“I’m really tired,” I said into the silence, and it wasn’t a total lie. “I’ll just go to bed.”
Kit gave me a look which clearly communicated that he understood my play, and how grateful he was. He got to his feet and was about to give me a hug when Miller made a soft scoffing sound which made Kit’s arms fall back down. Since he had his back toward the others, he made a face and patted my shoulder.
“See you around, Mary,” he said, and added softly, “Thanks.”
“See you around,” I echoed. “And you’re welcome.”
I smiled at Hawker who winked, which made me think that Kit would have to eat a bit of shit, but probably not as much as he expected, and mostly for show. Miller walked me to the back door.
“Wake me if I’m asleep, I want to know that everything is okay.”
“Will do,” he said and leaned down to kiss me.
It wasn’t a chaste peck on the mouth but a hard kiss with lots of tongue, and it lasted for longer than I thought was polite considering our audience.
“You’re done showing off?” I asked when he straightened again, and he grinned.
“It was that obvious?”
“Duh,” I murmured, caressed his cheek and went up to bed.
I was tired after the long and emotional day, but as I lay in bed, I couldn’t find sleep. I sent some messages back and forth with Wilder, who confirmed that my aunt was still alive, but also shared that she had gone to their house, taking Mac, Olly, and Mickey with her. Then she added that they’d been standing on the curb until a man walked out.
“Guessed it was your cousin. Looked a lot like you. Told him to go f- himself, and he just nodded. Said to tell you that he has your postcard on his fridge and laughs every time he sees it. Said he and his sisters were sorry, and they want to talk to you. Told him I’d cut off his d- if he tried to contact you.”
I giggled as I read the last part. I’d had no desire to see my relatives, but I couldn’t help feeling a sliver of interest in my cousins. Maybe later, I decided. Then I thanked Wilder and told her I’d call in the morning. She promptly informed me they were heading to Norton so we could meet for lunch at Jack’s coffee shop around noon. I sent a short ok, turned off my phone, and lay there listening to the rumble of male voices coming from outside. After a while, I dozed off, but my eyes flew open when Miller got into bed with me.
“Everything okay?” I asked sleepily.
“Yeah. Kit got a scolding he’ll never forget. Hawker can be a dick, you know that, but he can also be uncomfortably clear in his displeasure. Don’t think he used one curse through the whole lecture.”
I leaned my head back and squinted to see him in the darkness. “No f-bombs at all?” I asked, with considerable surprise because this didn’t sound like Hawker at all.
“Nope. Our language could be better, Mary, we all know this. We curse a lot.”
My giggle interrupted him, and I felt his chest move a little with silent laughter.
“So when he doesn’t, we all know he’s communicating some serious shit.”
Aha. In a twisted way, that made sense.
“Is Kit okay?” I asked.
&n
bsp; “Yeah. He’ll stay with the group for a while longer, but I think he’ll leave eventually. At least for a while. He needs it, and Hawker agreed, but we need him until this whole mess is sorted out.”
“Okay,” I said. “What did you promise Hawker to make him listen to Kit?”
“You know that Hawk did the stripper performance because he lost a bet. Well, he’s not happy about what the bet was about. Now less than ever, and I’ve been saving that knowledge forever. Just promised him I’d never tell anyone what it was about.”
“Not even me?”
“Not even you, baby,” he confirmed.
“I’ll just find out from someone else,” I murmured.
“You won’t,” he countered. “There were four of us. Me, and I’m not talking. Hawk, and he’s certainly not talking. Sven, Olly’s da, and if you think Olly is silent, then you should meet his father. No way he’s breathing a word…”
When he didn’t say anything else, I asked gently, “Who was the fourth?”
I suspected I knew, and he confirmed it immediately.
“Oz. Snow’s da.”
He sounded so sad, and I almost wished I hadn’t asked.
“He died the day after that night.”
“How?” I asked when he didn’t continue.
“Snow’s ma was wonderful. Beautiful and talented. Funny as hell, but temperamental like you wouldn’t believe it. She made Hawk look like a choir boy in comparison. And she found out about our night somehow, didn’t like it at all, so she was pissed as all get out. Oz took Snow up on the mountain to get away until she’d calmed down. They had an accident, and he didn’t make it.”
There were so many things in that short speech that my mind whirled, but it was late, he sounded as if he was still grieving for his friend and I decided that I could ask more some other time.
We were silent for a while and then I asked quietly, “You told Kit you loved me since we met?”
“Yeah,” he said, snorted and added, “Softened it up a bit for him.”
Huh?” I murmured and felt him shifting toward me.
“Wasn’t love at first, baby… that came later. Fell in lust with you when we met though.”
