by Beth Michele
“I wish I could’ve been your first,” she admits in a quiet voice, her free hand flat against my chest, my heart beating steadily under her palm.
“Nah. The first time sucks. It’s never all it’s cracked up to be. Besides,” my finger sails up her arm, tapping underneath her chin to get her attention, “you’re the only one I’m going to remember.”
“Because there were sooooooo many,” she laughs. I pinch her nipple and she jumps. “Speaking of which, I actually have a confession to make.”
“A dirty one?” She laugh-snorts and it’s freaking adorable. “Is it wrong that I get turned-on when you snort?” Her blue eyes roll around like marbles and she glares at me. “Okay, okay.” I wave a hand in front of my face, clearing my grin. “All right. I’m ready.”
She leans up on her elbow, steeling herself for the big reveal. “So remember when I came out of class in tenth grade and you were making out with Tamara next to my locker? You asked me what was wrong, and I told you I had gotten a C on my Honors English test?”
“Yeah?”
“Well….” She pauses to nibble on her lip. “That wasn’t why I was upset. I was pissed because I saw you kissing Tamara and I was jealous,” she admits, and my heart smiles at her honesty.
“I have a confession to make, too. Actually, it’s a double confession. I dated her because she reminded me of you, and I was kissing her next to your locker because I was trying to make you jealous.”
Her mouth goes as wide as her eyes. “Really?”
“Uh huh.”
“Hmph,” is the only thing she says, but I see the wheels spinning, even as her lips wander into a pleased smile. “Okay, since we’re on a roll, I’ve got one more.” She chews on her lip, then looks away. “So… umm, I don’t really meditate.”
“I know.” I lift a brow and grin. “Well, I feel surprisingly cleansed, you?”
She giggles, shimmying her body closer to mine. Her nipples brush my chest and I’m instantly hard. God, I love being twenty.
“Hey, Dylan?” Her tone is serious now. “I’m sorry about Luke.”
I sift through her silky red strands with my fingers, sending forth a puff of air that hits her cheek. “I know, me too.” My mind goes into overdrive, but her next words throw me for a loop.
“Do you think you’ll ever see your father again?” Her voice is soothing but my throat still closes up at the mention of him. I have to remind myself she’s coming from a good place. If it were anyone else I would dodge the question.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, “but I’d be fine if I never did. I’ve come to realize, or maybe I always knew this, that he was my father in name only. Nothing more.”
“Yeah.” She rests her chin on my arm. “I stopped by the cemetery and saw my parents tonight on the way home from work.”
“How was that?”
“Good.” She shakes her head and her hair tickles my skin. “Of course, Dad was eavesdropping on my conversation with Mom,” she giggles, “but he always did have a habit of doing that.”
I love how she talks about them now with more of a spring in her voice. Maybe it’s getting easier. I hope so.
“Anyway… I realized something.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”
She looks up at me from the corner of her eye. “I thought I should tell you that you were wrong about something.”
“Oh really, Miss Carmichael.” I appraise her on a sideways glance. “And what do you think I was wrong about?”
“Remember when you said if I was stuck on a deserted island that all I’d want is books and water?” She makes an obnoxious buzzer sound with her voice. “Well, first of all, that said deserted island would need to have power so I could charge my Kindle, but second, and most importantly, if I was stuck on a deserted island I would want my Kindle… and… you.”
“I can live with that.” I grab her ass and she moans. “You probably wouldn’t have time to read though because I’d be ravaging your body, dripping coconut milk all over you, and then licking it off.”
“Wait, let me get a visual.” Her eyes swing up toward the ceiling then drift back down with a sexy as hell smirk. “Okay. I’m good.” That look makes me crazy and I take her by surprise and flip her onto her back.
Poised above her body, my tongue dances along her neck, and she quivers as I whisper, “I can start now. I don’t need the milk.”
She wraps her legs around my waist, her heels guide me forward as she rubs her sex against me. “Dylan,” she whimpers, “I want you again.”
I drop my head to her chest and groan. “I don’t have any more condoms, not here, anyway.”
“Oh.” The rubbing ceases and she giggles. It’s not really that funny now that I’m hard for her. “Well, in that case, I want some ice cream.”
“What?” I glance up at her in confusion. “How did we get from condoms to ice cream?”
“It’s pretty logical. Ice cream is the next best thing. If we can’t have sex, I’ll take the Haagen-Dazs.” She pushes on my chest and shoves me to the side, scurrying off the bed. “I’ll be back.”
“Hey, Evie.”
She flips me a one-eyed smile over her shoulder. “Yeah?”
“We always talked about going to New York together, so if I get into that school, I want you to come with me.” I meant to pose it as a question, but it came out the wrong way. My stomach clenches while I wait for her answer.
“Okay,” she replies, just as simply as if I was asking what flavor of ice cream she wants.
I bound off the bed, tackling her to the carpet before she reaches the hallway. Framing her face with my hands, I stare into her eyes, my breathing erratic. “You’ll come?”
“Yes.” Light dances in her eyes, her lips warm into a smile. “I’d follow you anywhere, Dills. All you have to do is ask.”
I smash my lips against hers, rough then gentle, hard then soft. She gives as good as she gets, kissing me back fiercely and with wild abandon. Her fingers knotted in my hair, tongue twining around mine. I love this aggressive side of her. Then again, I love all her sides.
“Dylan,” she says, short of breath, “you need to let me up… I’m—”
“Staaaaarving.” I chuckle. “Yeah, I know.” I push off of her, then extend my hand to help her up. “Go, but hurry back,” I urge, whacking her on the ass as she walks off, deliciously naked.
Is this really happening? That’s the only question fogging my brain as I jump on the mattress, folding my hands behind my head. I stare up at the ceiling as if it has ears. She loves me and she’s willing to come to New York—if I get in. And that’s a pretty big if. Still, it’s like I’m living someone else’s life right now.
My thoughts drift to the man that I hesitate to call father. I see myself jabbing a finger against his chest, staring him down. You see, asshole. I am good enough.
Evie, thankfully, barges into my negative thoughts, chasing them away. Although, there’s a frown lining her lips.
“What’s wrong?”
“We’re out of ice cream.” She gathers up her clothes, one by one, and begins to dress.
“Wait, where are you going?” In the middle of sliding her skirt up, she peeks through her red hair and grins at me. “To your house, to get ice cream… and condoms.”
“Two of my favorite things.” I chuckle, sliding off the bed. “I’m coming with you.”
“Dills. I’ll be right back,” she says, and I’m not paying any attention to her as I throw on my boxers and t-shirt. “You don’t have to.”
“I know.” When we’re both fully clothed, I reach for her hand and she folds her fingers around mine. “Let’s go. The sooner we go, the sooner we can get back and have ice cream… and more sex.”
The air is unusually humid as we step outside. Clouds have erased most of the stars and a light coating of fog hangs in the air. Evie pauses when we reach my front door.
“I’m happy.” It sounds so simple when she says it, and while the darknes
s prevents me from seeing her eyes clearly, the emotion in her voice is overwhelming. My skin tingles with a feeling that cloaks my limbs, making me stronger, braver. A more confident version of myself.
“Me too, baby.”
The light above the stove is on when we walk in. Otherwise, it’s fairly dark. Jordan must still be out, either at the diner, or I imagine with Samantha. I trail behind Evie, who has her sights set on the freezer.
“I’ll get the ice cream, you get the condoms,” she calls over her shoulder with a devilish grin. I shake my head at her and laugh as I head up the stairs. Yes, I definitely love this girl.
When I come down, I find Evie looking at a photo on the wall. I set the box on the table then come up behind her and snake my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder. She tilts her head against mine as we stare at a glimpse of our younger selves. The two of us eating ice cream on her front porch. Well, it’s more like we were wearing it. I think we were probably seven at the time. We had just returned from a bike ride and were covered in dirt. My heart warms in my chest. What a pair we were… and still are.
I’m so glad Gran and I went picture crazy a few years back and hung these up. My parents were never big into photos. Not of me anyway.
“I remember when my mom took this picture. I told her to wait until we used the hose, but she refused.” She smiles at the memory, a contented sigh drifting from her throat. “I don’t remember a time when you weren’t by my side,” she whispers.
I brush my lips across her temple. “That’s my favorite place to be.”
She squeezes my arms tighter against her stomach, and that’s how we stay for several minutes until Jordan barges through the front door.
“Oh, hey, kids.” He flips the lamp switch, flinging a bag on to the chair. I let go of Evie and walk toward him. “What are you guys up to?”
“Not much. We’re just hanging out.” I say it casually, but Evie and I are both smiling like we’re up to something. I guess we kind of are. “You going somewhere?”
His eyes wander to something behind me and then back to us. “From the looks of things, nowhere as exciting as where you’re going.” He smirks, then kicks his shoes off by the door and shrugs out of his jacket. “Samantha is coming over in a bit. I’m going to grab something quick to eat and hop in the shower.”
“All right. We’ll catch you later.” I head for the door, letting Evie go in front of me.
“See ya, Jordy.” She pushes open the screen door when his voice stops us.
“Forget something?” he yells out, and I turn around to find him wearing a smug grin. “Catch.” The box of condoms flies through the air and I reach out a hand to deftly snatch them up. Evie’s cheeks reach a whole new level of pink and I’m actually speechless.
“Uh. Thanks.”
“Anytime. Have fun.” His cackle carries all the way up the stairs. Evie and I can’t contain our own laughter either, once we find our way outside.
“Oh my God!” she exclaims, hiding her face with her hand. “That was so embarrassing.” She glances up at me through her fingers, her smile suddenly shy. “A box? We need a whole box?”
“I’m feeling hopeful,” I tease, “and energetic?” I shrug, and she snorts, laughing so hard I think she might fall over. “I’m glad I’m so amusing,” I offer up, chuckling, and she stumbles, dropping the pint of ice cream on the road.
She bends down to pick it up and I’m enjoying the view when a shiver creeps across the back of my neck. My senses are rattled. There’s a calming quiet in the darkness, yet it’s too dark. Almost unsettling. A sound travels in the silence. It’s familiar, yet vague. A rumble. I look around, there’s nothing but blackness, yet the noise grows louder. There’s an odor, and I inhale it but it doesn’t agree with me. Something stings my skin and a chill works its way to my bones.
“Come on, Dills.”
Evie is standing in the road with the ice cream but I’m halted by time, my legs like heavy stone. I cock my head to the side, listening. The rumble grows louder, invading my ears. Still too dark.
“Dylan?”
“Best friends forever, right, Dills?” she said with a big goofy grin on her face.
I squeezed her finger and smiled just as big. “Forever, Evie.”
I stare at Evie’s face, the box of condoms loosening in my hands then falling from my fingers, the proximity of the noise waking me.
“Evie!” I scream, darting across the road to push her out of the way of the oncoming car. The force of it sends her body flying across the pavement and I falter, landing on my back. Pain shoots up my spine as I hear a crack that sounds like bones being broken. But it isn’t coming from me.
“Evie?”
Panic flares in my chest and my limbs begin to shake, but I ignore it all. Adrenaline roars through my veins. My only thought is getting to Evie.
Somehow, I scramble on to my knees and crawl toward her, suffocated by my own breaths when I reach her body.
Her legs are mangled beneath her. One foot is now bare, her skirt bunched around her thighs, raw with cuts. Her arm is twisted above her head as if she tried to brace herself for the fall. One side of her face has a gash, redness settling in around the open wound.
My hand won’t stop shaking as I reach out to touch her cheek. “Evie. Open your eyes. Please, Evie.” I set her head on my lap and hold her against me. Something warm and moist trickles onto my fingers and when I look down, I see blood.
“No, no, no, no. Please God, no.” I rock her back and forth, pushing strands of matted hair away from her face. I make a clumsy grab for her wrist to feel her pulse, letting out a weighted breath when I find one. It’s faint, but it’s there. I have to get help.
An overwhelming sense of dread sets in when I reach into my back pocket for my phone, only to realize I left it in Evie’s room. I don’t want to leave her alone.
My mouth opens in an attempt to scream for help but my head starts to throb, spots blurring my vision as my eyes struggle to stay open. I think I see a shadowy figure, hear a voice shouting in the distance, before my entire world goes black.
The last thing I see is Evie’s blood dripping from her head on to my trembling fingers. The last thing I hear is the sound of my pleas to God echoing off the sidewalk. The last thing I feel is devastation so fierce crushing my heart. I didn’t tell her I loved her.
And now I might never get the chance.
MY EYES FEEL like they’ve been glued shut. The more I squeeze them together, the more my brain hurts. My memory is fuzzy but something resembling fear pokes at my chest, preventing me from opening them right away.
The smell of antiseptic blocks the fresh air I’m longing to breathe. It smells too clean. A subtle whizzing is making my head ache more and I want it to stop.
I blink several times, forcing my eyes to open. The first thing I see is a white board with the word nurse on it. Panic chokes me as everything comes rushing back and a shocked gasp falls from my dry mouth. “Evie!” I scream, not realizing someone is in the room with me. Jordy comes to my side in an instant.
“Dylan. It’s okay.” He’s making a half-hearted attempt at being calm, but there’s something in his voice that unnerves me, that fear coiling around my stomach again.
“Where is she?” I start to get up, but my head hurts like a bitch. Nonetheless, I push my legs over until my hand presses against the side of my temple to stop the pain. When I finally pull it away, the dried blood lodged between my fingers makes me more determined to get the hell out of this bed.
“Lie down, Dylan. You’re in no shape to be getting up.”
“Where the fuck is she, Jordy? Please tell me she’s—”
He puts a strong hand on my shoulder, both to settle and restrain me. “She’s alive, Dylan, but she’s in Intensive Care.”
She’s alive. Thank you, God.
“I need to see her.”
“Dylan.” His tone is firm. “You’re not going anywhere right now. You took a bad fall. You
can’t—”
“So help me, Jordy. I need to fucking see her, and if you’re not going to help me then get the hell out of the way. Because I’ll see her with or without you. Your choice.” I know I’m being an asshole right now. But no one is going to keep me from seeing Evie.
“Okay, Okay. Calm down.” His eyes scan the room before they come back to me. “Let me get you a wheelchair.”
“Jordy. I don’t need a fucking wheelchair.” Frustration works its way through my limbs, the pitch of my voice showing just how powerless I feel. “I need to see Evie. Now help me get off of this bed.”
The nurse comes in then, a petite woman with salt-n-pepper hair and a major scowl lining her lips. She crosses her arms over her chest. Someone else who isn’t happy with me at the moment, but she’s in no position to stop me. Even in my weakened state I could overpower her in about two seconds.
“Mr. Reid. What do you think you’re doing? You need to get back in bed.”
“No,” I glare at her, “what I need is to see my girlfriend. You can either be part of the problem or part of the solution.”
Irritated, she shakes her head. “Fine, but let me at least check your vital signs so you don’t pass out trying to reach her.”
That I can agree to. I take a seat in the chair beside the bed and let her work her magic. Once I’m cleared, Jordy helps me to my feet and slings his arm around my waist while placing mine around his shoulder. He holds me steady as we find our way to the elevator.
Evidence of sickness is all around us as we walk the narrow hallway. There’s a stale quality in the air that barely makes it breathable. The sound of coughing and the sight of stretchers filled with ailing bodies make my stomach swirl with discomfort, but I try to keep my vision pointed straight ahead.
“Listen, Jordy. I’m sorry I snapped at you back there. I just—”
“Dylan.” He doesn’t even let me finish. “If there’s anyone you don’t need to apologize or explain yourself to, it’s me. Okay?”
“Yeah. I-I don’t know what….” My mind races back to last night. “It all happened so fast, even though it felt like time stood still.”
