She made a face that he looked up just in time to see. It brought a hint of regret into his own expression.
“I’m sorry about that. It was an easy habit to fall into.”
She brushed off his apology with a shrug. “We need to go shopping.”
“All right. What do you want?”
She’d already asked for her emerald earrings. Beyond those, she couldn’t think of anything that he could wrap and slide under the tree. Everything else on her wish list was difficult to tie up in bows—a baby, a long, happy marriage, promises and assurances and commitment. “Surprise me.”
He laughed. “Oh, darlin’, I can do that. They may not be pleasant surprises, but I can definitely surprise you.”
“The night we decorated the tree, you said you would think about what you wanted. Well?”
He divided the orange in half, setting one piece on her plate, the other on his own. “A promise.”
“And where can I buy this promise?”
“You can’t. It has to come from your heart.”
“All right. I have lots of that kind of promise. Which one in particular do you want?”
“The one that says we’ll never let things get so bad again. We won’t forget what’s important again. We’ll find compromises we can both live with. We’ll make it good and make it last.”
Compromises. There were no compromises for the biggest obstacle facing them now. She was going to have a family, and he would have to accept it. Period.
She pressed a kiss to his hand and smelled the sweet tang of orange. “You’re so easy. I guess I’ll have to come up with some ideas on my own.”
“What about the promise?”
Her smile was as frivolous as his expression was serious. “I’m not telling. You’ll have to wait until Christmas Eve to see.”
Once the orange was gone, she said, “Let’s walk downtown, go shopping for surprises, then meet at Harry’s when we’re done.”
“Let’s drive downtown so we don’t have to carry the surprises home in our arms.”
“Deal.”
It was a beautiful cold morning with a cloudless sky of rich pale blue. “I’m starting over there,” she said with a gesture across the street toward the combination gift and book shop. “I’ll see you at Harry’s.”
She started to walk away, but he caught her hand, drew her close, and kissed her. It was simple, sweet, not the least bit inappropriate for a downtown sidewalk, and it made her heart ache. It was amazing that only a month before, she’d wanted him out of her life. Now, once again, he was her life—and life was good.
The gift shop was warm and smelled of the potpourri displayed in paper envelopes near the door. The clerk paused in the act of restocking the cards to greet her, then Maggie began wandering down the aisles. The displays of Christmas ornaments caught her attention, one in particular. It was a wreath of holly dotted with red berries, with a gold ribbon bow forming the loop for hanging. Seated in the center on the bottom curve of the wreath was an angel, its feet dangling, and hanging from the bottom was a tiny brass plaque bearing the year and a miniature bell. Maggie lifted the wreath from the display tree, making the bell jingle.
“Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his—or her—wings.” From the opposite side of the counter, Noelle, the clerk from Melissa’s shop, was watching her with a friendly smile. “It’s a darling wreath, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” And it would be a perfect gift for all the angels in her life—too inexpensive to incur an obligation but enough to let them know they mattered. She gathered one each for the sisters, Melissa and Holly, Shelley and Emilie, holding them carefully in one hand.
“Here you go,” Noelle said. “This is always helpful.”
With a smile, Maggie accepted the basket. “I love Christmas ornaments. I have a ton, but I need one more.”
“Since you like the wee angel so much, how about this one? It’s even got a message on the back.” Noelle offered a wreath from her side of the tree, identical to the others in every way except there were two angels, side by side and holding hands. On the back, in graceful script, was inscribed three simple words with incredible impact. THIS TIME FOREVER.
For a long time Maggie stared at the words. The promise Ross had asked for. It was perfect.
She added it to her basket, then looked up to thank Noelle. The woman was gone, walking out the door as the bell overhead rang. As she passed by on the sidewalk out front, she flashed a smile and a wave.
Maggie continued with her shopping. When she went to pay, the clerk chatted idly about the holidays and the weather, then broke off as she picked up the dual-angel wreath.
“Isn’t that interesting? I unpacked every one of these myself, but I don’t remember seeing any with two angels. And there’s no tag on it either. How odd. Let me go check.” Taking the ornament with her, she went to the display, then came back with a shrug. “It’s the only one. I’ll charge the same price as the others, if you don’t object.”
“I want it, whatever the price.”
By the time Maggie settled in a booth at Harry’s, the morning was over and she was all shopped out. The angel ornament was Ross’s real gift, but she’d made several other purchases—a chenille muffler to help keep him warm, a nubby sweater that matched his eyes, a bottle of the cologne she liked best on him. She wished she could have thought of better ideas, but the man who had everything wasn’t exactly easy to buy for.
She’d chatted with Maeve and finished her first cup of coffee by the time Ross joined her. “Did you find everything you wanted?” she asked.
He shrugged. “I found some things I liked.”
“What stores did you go to?”
“I’m not telling. You’ll have to wait until Christmas Eve and see.”
The words made her smile. It had been a long time since she’d looked forward to Christmas Eve—a long time since she’d known that her gifts from him weren’t more of a surprise to him than they were to her.
“Hi there, handsome.” Maeve turned over the inverted cup in front of Ross and filled it with coffee. “Maggie tells me you two have been Christmas shopping. Are you ready for the big day?”
“Almost.”
“I love Christmas. It’s the best time of the whole year. I always get misty-eyed over the season.” With a grin, she pretended to wipe away a tear, sniffled, then asked, “What can I get you?”
Maggie ordered the lunch special—a steaming bowl of chili served with jalapeño corn bread—and Ross doubled it. When Maeve left, he reached for Maggie’s hand. “Were you serious about inviting Tom to spend Christmas here?”
“Sure.”
“He won’t make you uncomfortable?”
“Of course he will—a little—but I can live with it. Do you want to ask him to stay with us?”
“I don’t think he would. I don’t even think he’ll come, but he might surprise me. I’ve got to call him this afternoon. I’ll ask him then.”
“If he won’t stay with us, I can call Holly and see if she’s got a room available.” Remembering the interest her friend had displayed on Thanksgiving made her smile. “I think she would consider having him there her very own Christmas present.”
“He’s involved with someone,” Ross warned.
“No, he’s not. He’s in a sexual relationship. His emotions never get involved.”
“Whatever relationships he has, Holly’s not his type.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Every woman he’s been with since I’ve known him has been exactly the same—”
“Beautiful, elegant, not too bright, bodies to die for, greed to match. And he’s never fallen for any of them. He’s never wanted anything more than sex from any of them. I think he chooses them because he knows they’re not his type. They pose no threat. When they eventually leave, as they all do, he knows it won’t be more than a minor inconvenience in his life.”
By the time she finished, Ross was grinning. She put on a fake pout an
d demanded, “What?”
“You learned something from all those sessions with Dr. Olivetti, didn’t you?” he teased.
“Oh, honey, I learned those things just being a woman. You men are our most intriguing topic of conversation.”
He turned serious again. “If he comes, he’ll treat you appropriately.”
“I know. I’m not worried about that.” She lifted his hand to her mouth and pressed a kiss to his palm. To anyone watching it looked perfectly innocent—but anyone watching couldn’t see her tongue against his skin or feel his heart rate kick into high gear where her fingertips rested over his wrist.
“Forget inviting him to stay with us,” he said, his voice husky. “We’ll send him straight to Holly’s.”
“A gracious host would at least make the offer,” she chided.
“But I’m not a gracious host. I’m a man in desperate need of his wife’s attention, and I don’t need company down the hall.”
“We won’t have company tonight or tomorrow or Wednesday,” she gently teased. “That should take care of any desperation.”
His gaze met hers and his fingers tightened around hers. “Three nights isn’t enough.”
“How many would be?”
He shook his head. “I can’t count that high, Maggie. Forever. I’ll need you forever.”
Ross secured the last piece of tape to the package in the center of his desk, then glanced around. The few gifts he’d gotten Maggie that were suitable for wrapping were wrapped—not as expertly as her own packages under the tree, but he’d managed well enough. One of the remaining gifts was tucked in the corner of his office with nothing more than a bow attached, and he’d just gotten off the phone from making arrangements to pick up the other in the morning.
He wasn’t thoroughly pleased with several of the purchases—wasn’t sure whether he’d made the right decision or simply the selfish one. Whatever his motivation, though, Maggie would be happy, and that was what counted.
It was Christmas Eve, and the sky was dark. Carols came softly from the stereo in the living room, and outside, Maggie was bundled up against the cold as she lit the farolitos. Tom was in town, a few miles away at the McBride Inn, and planning to join them later that evening for the midnight service in the square. Ross wouldn’t be surprised to find Holly accompanying him.
He carried the gifts into the living room and placed them under the tree. It wasn’t an impressive stack of the sort they’d become accustomed to in recent years, but it was more than enough because these were all gifts that meant something. Besides, this Christmas he’d already been given the best gift of all—Maggie.
For as long as she didn’t remember.
For a moment panic gripped him so tightly that he forgot to breathe. Slowly he forced air into his lungs. According to Miss Corinna, there was no sin that couldn’t be forgiven. God help him, he hoped Maggie believed that too. If she didn’t, one of these days his life was going to crumble and he would have no one to blame but himself.
But until that day came, he would have a life worth living, and he intended to make the most of it.
He got his coat and went outside to slip up behind her and nuzzle her cold cheek. She gave him a smile so sweet that it made his muscles tighten, so full of love that it made his heart ache. Blind love. Totally-unaware-of-the-truth love. It would kill him to lose her again.
No problem that love couldn’t overcome, no sin that couldn’t be forgiven. He reminded himself of that before making an effort to push the fears back into the darkest corner of his mind.
“What time is Tom coming over?”
“Around eight. That’ll give us time to eat, then walk to the square.” Though they called it a midnight service, it actually began two hours earlier and ended at twelve. It was hard to imagine that Tom—the shark, as Maggie was fond of describing him—was willing to attend such a service. He had, in fact, received the invitation with a moment of blank silence before awkwardly agreeing.
But a year ago, wouldn’t Ross’s own attendance have been met with equal surprise? That night he’d meant to be in his office working when the church bells tolled the midnight conclusion to the worship service.
Instead, he’d been waiting to find out whether his wife would live or die.
This year he would be telling her how much he loved her—and praying that he would never lose her.
He followed her along the sidewalk as she lit the farolitos. When she finished, they stood on the sidewalk out front and gazed at the results. Maggie sighed contentedly. “Isn’t it amazing how things change? Last Christmas Eve I lit the farolitos by myself while I waited for the service in the square, and I wanted everything to be perfect for the first Christmas in my new house, but I knew it wasn’t going to be. I mean, you and me in the same room for an entire evening. Civility was definitely out of the question.”
Far colder than the weather justified, Ross stared at her. He felt sick inside—so sick that his hands went numb. “You—did you remember that, or are you guessing?”
“I—I remembered … I think.” Her expression turned more serious. “You don’t want me to remember, do you?”
“I—it’s not—” Breaking off, he clenched his jaw and said nothing.
“Why not? Do you think if I remember what we argued about, I’ll leave you again?”
All he could manage was a hoarse whisper. “You did before.”
“Before was different. I was going to leave you anyway, even if we hadn’t argued. You were going to leave me.” She slapped his arm, but it was merely a gesture, lacking force. “I love you, Ross. I want to be married to you. I want to live the rest of my life with you. And I want you to feel the same.”
“I do!”
“Except where I’m looking ahead to forever, you’re expecting me to walk out any moment now. Do you know how insulting that is? Do you know how that makes me feel to know that you don’t trust me?”
“I trust you, Maggie, but I know what happened last year. You don’t.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “So tell me.”
Tell her. It was through his own stupid carelessness last year that she’d learned his secret in the first place, and she’d almost died for it. If he told her now—bluntly, without mercy—he would be the one whose survival was at stake. He’d made her walk away from him once. He couldn’t do it again. “I can’t.”
“Then forget it. I have.”
“But someday it’s going to come back, and—”
“And we’ll deal with it.” She hugged him tightly.
“Have a little faith in us, Ross. We’re strong. We can survive anything.”
He slid his hands into her hair and held her for a hard, desperate kiss. “I love you,” he whispered. “No matter what, I’ll always love you.”
“And I’ll always love you,” she whispered back. “Always.” She started toward the house. Halfway there, she turned back. “Are you coming?”
“In a minute.”
She came back for one more sweet kiss, touched his face gently, then went inside. He stood there in the cold, staring at the closed door.
She was going to remember. He felt it in some sick, hurtful place deep inside. She was going to remember, and all her talk about trust and faith and always would mean nothing. Love would turn to hate, as it had before, affection to scorn, and there was nothing in the world he could do to stop it. He couldn’t tell her the truth and hasten the inevitable, and he couldn’t walk away before it happened. All he could do was wait and love her and hope that that would count for something in the end.
He didn’t think it would.
Feeling anxious and edgy, he started walking. He had no destination in mind but wanted only to burn off a little energy, to ease a little panic. When he came to the square in the center of town, he automatically turned into it.
In a few more hours it would be filled with people—virtually everyone in town attended the service—but at the moment it was deserted. The paths leading
to the gazebo were dusted with snow, and drifts were piled around the shrubs. He walked through ankle-deep snow to the nearest bench, brushed it clean, then sat down.
Helplessness was a new feeling for him, and he didn’t like it one bit. He was a powerful man accustomed to getting what he wanted when he wanted it. Even when Maggie’s condition was at its most critical, every one of his demands had been filled almost instantly. A pilot willing to fly through a snowstorm to get her to the trauma center in Buffalo—no problem. Calling out the top doctors in the country on Christmas Day—piece of cake. The absolute best care money could buy—a done deal.
But he couldn’t demand or buy his way out of this. There wasn’t enough power or money in the world to find a happy resolution to this problem. She was going to remember, and she was never going to forgive him.
“You look a little lonesome sitting here. Mind if I join you?”
The question came from a slender woman with long, brown hair and familiar eyes. Noelle, nursery clerk, hospital volunteer, and first-class meddler. He wanted to tell her yes, he did mind. He wanted to be alone with his misery. Instead, he glanced at the opposite end of the bench, then away. “I didn’t hear you come up.”
“It’s the snow. It muffles footsteps.” She dusted the bench, then sat down. “Merry Christmas.”
His only response was a grunt.
“Are you and Maggie coming to the midnight service?”
“Yes.” He would be better off putting some distance between them, but it was too late for that. Hadn’t he promised himself just that evening that he was going to make the best of however much time they had?
“How is she?”
He glanced distractedly at Noelle. “She’s fine.”
“How are you? And don’t say fine, because anyone with eyes in her head can see that’s not so.” She turned on the bench so she was facing him. “She’s begun remembering, hasn’t she?”
“A couple of thin—how’d you know that?”
“You’re worried that she’ll remember what led to her leaving a year ago, aren’t you?”
He answered even though he didn’t want to. “What I did was unforgivable.”
Some Enchanted Season Page 27
