Mountain of Full Moons

by Irene Kessler

  “I sing a song and the feelings in it fill me. I get lost in the expressing of it.”

  “I am happy for you.”

  He asked me about my own words like Sandalphon. He said my singing is healing. That makes me think about Eshmun. I search through my sack and find the statue was left at Sarah’s. It was behind the slab and I forgot it. Another child will play with it like I did.

  The sand is still flying though much lighter than before, and we plod through the dust as fast as we can. The wind picks up again and Doron puts up our small tent. We choose not to chance trying to cook outside and eat a meal of cold food near the flap so we can see. Doron sleeps outside the entrance. The noise of the wind does not allow either of us to get much sleep.

  By the second evening, the wind blows with malice and I insist he rest inside. He assures me we will not lose our shelter. He stays at the tent flaps, as respectful a distance as the tent will permit, but my old fears of being badly treated take hold and my eyes do not close.

  The winds are less frantic as we reach Urusalim. My stomach leaps all over. We come nearer and I shiver. Am I dressed properly? My fingers fix my hair in place. I remember the location of Melchizedek’s house. My future lays in these next few moments. Will he remember me and what will he think of my plan?

  Doron and the donkey wait at the side of the house. I close my eyes and ask for help.

  “I am with you.”

  “Thank you, Sandalphon.”

  I knock on the doorpost and it seems like many moons until it opens. Melchizedek’s face breaks into a warm grin.

  “Elisha. What are you doing here? I am glad to welcome you. Come in, come in.”

  I did not expect such a warm welcome from a man I knew little. “Thank you, my lord.”

  “Please sit and share the news about you, and Abram and Sarai.” He signals the servant who brings fresh water and dried grape cakes.

  “Thank you. May I ask for water for the servant, Doron, and a donkey waiting outside?”

  “Of course, of course.” He nods to his servant.

  “I did not think you were aware I went to live with them.”

  “Yes, Abram explained your difficulty.” My face flushes. “Many things have been spoken in my ear and it was told to me in confidence.”

  I nod. “They are both well. God has given them new names. They are now called Abraham and Sarah.”

  “How wonderful.”

  “A great number of things happened and it is hard to know where to start.” I offer a short review of the history. “Abraham is now in Beersheba making a sacrifice. Sarah and Isaac are in Kiriath Arba awaiting his return.”

  “What about you? Why are you back in Urusalim?”

  “I came to ask for your help.” His carriage is still imperious, his eyes soft and kind. “I wrote songs with Abraham’s teachings and Sarah’s wisdom. My dream is to use the songs to teach their way of thinking to the people.”

  “What a glorious idea, but it cannot be done. Women do not travel this land alone, and I do not know of one who sings.”

  “I walked alone from my village to here. The servant, Doron, promised to stay with me until I reach home.”

  “That may help but you are not married. I do not think an unmarried woman will be acceptable. But . . . can you sing one song for me?”

  “It would be my pleasure.” I stand in front of Melchizedek and pray it goes well. “The song is about how not forgiving those who hurt you will tear through your soul. It ends with the idea of forgiving for we are all flawed and do similar things.” The song over, he is smiling.

  “Thank you, Elisha. It is wonderful. What is it you need?”

  “Would you have a way to gather people so they could listen to a few of my songs? I need to find out their responses, then I can decide if I should continue.”

  His hand is on my shoulder. Unlike our first meeting, I do not shrink away. “And afterward?”

  “I want to travel through villages and towns, whoever will let me sing as I make my way home.”

  “I understand. It would be suitable to start with a small group.”

  “Yes, that is what I tried to say.”

  “I will let you know in a few suns. I cannot promise anything.”

  “Thank you for your willingness.”

  He scratches his head. “Wait. Where will you stay?”

  “Abraham’s servant will take care of that.”

  “If you have any concerns, call on me.”

  “Thank you. I will.”

  We say goodbye, and Doron has the donkey ready to move on.

  “Where will we stay tonight, and do we have food left?”

  “Do not worry, my lady. The tent is safe and provisions are plentiful.”

  I look at Doron. “I would like to make camp near the boulders where the flowers struggle to open. Happy times were spent there.”

  For the evening meal we sit between blooms in their fullness and those who spread their seeds and are ready to die. If this plan does not succeed there would be a kind of death for me, a loss of my dreams and my hopes. But I will not give up and allow it to stop me. I will move ahead no matter the consequences. According to Melchizedek, I am to do what no woman before me has done.

  Doron is setting up the small tent near the plantings. “Come and see,” I call. “The moon is right overhead.”

  “It is beautiful,” he says but does not turn his head to look. Men. Too busy to enjoy.

  “We may have to be on the move before we choose if the village people come. What do you think, Doron, will it be comfortable enough here?”

  “We rise before dawn.”

  During the trip from Kiriath Arba, Doron developed into a friend. We speak as comrades and share our history. I am comfortable with him. “If we need provisions, we can go to the market in the morning. Is there anything to offer in case we must barter?”

  “Yes, we were provided with much.” I am well taken care of. Unlike the trip from my village to Urusalim, someone shares the burden. So many years ago, innocence was the one thing I could claim for my own. “Do you like adventure, Doron?”

  “I was never an adventurer, except for the times I accompanied Abraham. But those were his undertakings. If I may say, your company is far more enjoyable.”

  That surprises me. “Why enjoyable?”

  “Abraham’s interests centered on business. He came from Sumer where he learned to argue for benefits and wares. I was not always comfortable with his schemes and we never had any time for conversation.”

  “He can drive an unbending bargain. Sarah said so.” We laugh. “I am weary. Let us ready for sleep.”

  With the dust settled, the stars gleam and offer to light our way to dreams. Dreams. This could be the end of mine. I fall asleep quickly.

  Melchizedek’s messenger seeks us out the next morning. “Please come to the house on the morrow at sundown and be ready to perform.”

  The messenger refuses our offer of water. I thank him and turn to Doron.

  “What is it? You are as white as the sand.”

  I stare at him. My fingers are so cold they do not bend. Ripples of alarm tear at my chest. “His words made it real. The entire trip depends on this. If I fail I do not know what I will do.”

  “You speak of failure, but you have not begun. Of course, you are nervous.”

  “It may not discourage me, but it can get in the way of the singing.”

  “Not if your efforts are on why you are doing this and what you wish the meeting to bring. Picture yourself singing for one person who is taking to heart the lessons in your songs because of this gathering. Is that not what you wish for?”

  How did this servant gather his wisdom? His eyes are large and shimmer, their darkness is like a deep hole. “You astound me. How do you know this?”

  “I saw how people acted when I used to play the lyre for my father. He sang in our village.”

  “You play? But you are a servant.”

  “It was a long ti
me ago.”

  “Is your instrument here?”

  “It was my father’s gift and I always carry it with me.”

  I carried my harp but it is gone. “Do you not understand?”

  “Understand what?”

  “We could both take part in the presentation. You could accompany me and play songs of your choosing.”

  “Are you sure?”

  A warm light turned on inside me. “I am. It is what we need to do. Like someone arranged it this way. Unless . . . did Sarah or Abraham listen to you play the lyre?”

  “No, they did not.”

  “Then it was meant to be. We must practice.”

  “There will be enough time.”

  My heart is lighter and concerns drop away. I can meet my new challenge. “Do you think you could know three or four songs in time for the performance?”

  “I am a fast learner. I am sure I can.”

  “What about playing something of your own?”

  “It has been a long time. Let me see what I can ready.”

  We work into the evening and through the next morning. He is quite brilliant at the instrument and by afternoon we are content the presentation is as polished as we can make it.

  At sundown, we knock on Melchizedek’s doorpost. “Pardon me, Elisha, but is there a reason for the servant joining you inside my house?”

  “Yes, my lord. He informed me he plays the lyre and we rehearsed my songs. He is a wonder at the instrument and if you wish he can play something of his own.”

  “Ah, I understand. Welcome, it is Doron. Yes?” Doron nods. “Please make yourselves comfortable. The guests are almost finished with their meal.”

  The far end of the room is filled with voices exchanging the happenings of the community and the politics of the city. Not one raises his head at the noise of our entry. We sit near the entry door as far away as we can for the smell of the food makes me nauseous. Or is it the lack of interest from our audience? Of course, no women are here. Do they not enjoy music? They could bring their wives.

  A few men are turning their conversations into an argument. They call Melchizedek over. There is more discussion. Will they not let me sing because I am a woman with a man’s name? My sponsor smiles and nods with reassurance and goes back to his seat.

  We wait. The stillness is on the outside. We cannot fidget, someone might see. We glance at each other, then turn back. My mouth is dry and my thoughts race. I focus on what Doron said and push the fearful ones away. They keep coming back. I try to fight them but am not successful. My stomach flutters and I am ill enough to leave. Too late. Melchizedek is announcing the entertainment. The little confidence I had is gone.

  The room is quiet, the men’s attention is on me, and I must begin.

  “Good evening, my lords. My companion, Doron, and I have prepared some music for your pleasure. My songs are not known. The fact is, this will be the first time that anyone outside of family and friends will hear my compositions.” That brings understanding laughter.

  “The words are based on the teachings of Abraham and Sarah, and I hope you take some pleasure from them.” The decision to speak brought calmness and the time necessary to prepare.

  The small concert goes well, but the end brings stillness ruining the afterglow Doron and I share. With a short time to prepare, our performance was perfect. We wait and wait. Not one person responds. I cannot stand still and grab onto Doron’s arm. “They do not like our music.” The heat of embarrassment creeps up to my face.

  Melchizedek is relaxed and slowly begins to clap his hands. The others hear him and at a snail’s pace, join him. The longer they applaud the louder the sound grows. Doron might cry were he not a man.

  Melchizedek notices our faces and comes to us. “Gentlemen,” he turns to the group, “you heard a presentation pleasing to the ears and uplifting to the spirit and soul. Elisha and Doron would love to sing in your villages, communities, and cities. While Elisha and I take time to talk, you can make arrangements with Doron.” Doron catches my eye and shrugs his shoulders enough for me to see.

  Melchizedek pulls me to the back of the room. “No business is done with a woman. I should not have to say that. I would have intervened on your behalf, but now with Doron here, I chose to appoint him.”

  “I had not considered the business part. Thank you. He will manage well.”

  Melchizedek eyes are set on Doron and the visitors. “He gives the impression of being different from most servants.”

  “He is. He played the lyre to accompany his father. He could have earned his keep with music but chose to serve Abraham.”

  “I am happy you have such a man to watch over you. Let me find out how he is getting on.”

  He approaches the group around Doron. The men part with deference and give him space.

  There is a lot of nodding of heads accompanied by smiles. Are they pleasing him or interested? As I wait, the old feelings return. The men came together and have no intention of agreeing to let us entertain. I turn my back and head for the door.

  Doron runs to stop me. “Where are you going? The men are waiting for you. They wish to congratulate the woman who wrote the songs. Many have expressed interest. Come.”

  He drags me back to the gathering. There is much bowing and acknowledging. Some wish us well, others extend their appreciation for what we did. With so many men talking at once my head is filled, and I depend on Doron to remember the information.

  “Doron. I am exhausted. Is there any more business you need to complete?”

  “The timing is perfect. Let me say goodbye. I will be right back.”

  I am at the door and turn back to find where Doron went. The men are watching me. I bow my head, mouth a thank you, and smile.

  We are not out of hearing and my tongue can no longer be held. “Tell me. Tell me what they said.”

  “They enjoyed our music but do not know if they wish us to perform. If so, they will make sure they have a home for us to stay in and food prepared.”

  “You confuse me, that is not what you said before and we do not eat much.” Doron laughs. “You are a bad man. Say the truth.”

  “Each person there stated they will have us come. We need to decide the details and make a plan of where to go first and so forth.”

  I hold my fist close to his face and laugh. “You are not teasing me now, are you? Every man?”

  “I would not tease for something so important.”

  “But you just did. Doron, what would have happened if the men had to speak to me?”

  “What a curious question. Of course, they would not. They would leave.”

  I want to chew on my curls. “That makes me angry.”

  “That is how it is.”

  I throw my arms around Doron and hug him. I pull away. “We do not know each other well, but I am so cheered at the possibilities I had to share my happiness.”

  “I too am happy. To be able to play my lyre again, and with a talented singer, fulfills the dream I had as a child.” Now that it is done, I pray we will please the people who come to the concerts.

  Before I fall asleep, Sandalphon’s cloud arrives. “I am surprised and happy you came to me once more.”

  “You are coming into the most wonderful part of your life, free to be who you are. Free to explore what amuses you. Allow yourself to enjoy this time of creativity. Love it, speak it, write it, sing it.” He disappears.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  We eat a large meal and decide to take a walk before beginning the plan for our journey. On the way back we cannot help but start. Doron begins. “The most southern point is Beersheba and the northern is Shechem, quite a long distance for walking.”

  “But Doron, we can go slowly. We have choices. And do not forget that once we are in an area, surrounding communities may also choose to have us.”

  “What you say is true and you also said you are anxious to get back to your village.”

  “We are provided with the opportunity to do
something important, to spread Abraham and Sarah’s teachings. I think we should obey. Unless you must return quickly.”

  “Sarah granted me as much time as necessary to accompany you home. And if we go to Beersheba and Kiriath Arba, we can visit them.”

  “An excellent idea. I cannot wait to share our great fortune. How lucky we are you traveled with Abraham and know the countryside. I would not be able to even think about it. What about provisions along the way?”

  “I think provisions are what the gentlemen meant by food.”

  “Oh. I was so foolish after the concert.”

  “The excitement was so great clarity was not possible. I must admit, the evening was delightful.”

  Is he toying with me? His face shows innocence. “Let us get to the business of our travel.”

  By the peak of the sun, we have our plan. Doron scratches his head. “If you agree, I would like to suggest we leave now. The journey will take three suns to reach Beersheba, and we would like to spend some time with Abraham. The gentleman from that city assured me they would be ready whenever we arrive.”

  “There is not much to pack. I like your idea.”

  “We have ample provisions to Beersheba and beyond.”

  It is not long after the height of the sun that we are ready to say thank you and goodbye to Melchizedek. He wishes us well, and we are on our way.

  We go an adequate distance and after a decent night’s sleep eat a simple first meal and move on. At our next stop Doron prepares a tasty mid-day meal. When we finish, the sun is halfway to the horizon. We put things in order and repack the donkey.

  “Doron, I know it may delay us, but I am very tired and do not choose to continue.”

  “We will stay here and proceed leisurely.”

  We explore the countryside, find water to wash and swim in, cook on small brush fires and chatter without stopping. The way we share reminds me of Abraham and Sarah’s way of speaking with each other. We fall asleep to twinkling stars and wake to the rising sun. It is a time of peace, comfort, and freedom.

  My sleep is still restless.