‘Bad habit, that.’ Steven paused in removing the display of books from outside his shop. ‘I do it all the time – and all my habits are bad!’
‘What?’ Startled, she peered into the mauve dusk, unaware that she’d even been walking in the direction of Steven’s place.
‘You’re talking to yourself.’ Steven grinned at her. ‘Personally I always find it helps a lot. Have you seen Leon?’
‘Why?’ She traced patterns on the shingle with the toe of her shoe. ‘Has he been here?’
‘Earlier. He said he was going home to talk to you.’
‘That would be a novelty.’ Rosie looked up and met Steven’s eyes. ‘Yes, he did. Or at least he tried. Kizzy had heard rumours and gave us the third degree – and then I confronted him with the information that I’d spent the afternoon with Miss Phelps.’
‘You what?’ Steven’s eyes widened.
Despite her weariness, Rosie smiled. ‘Oh yes, I know who she is now. And she’s – she’s very lovely … Oh, Steven! ‘Tears welled in her eyes and fell heavily on to her cheeks, and she dashed them away with her hand, angry at her vulnerability.
‘Rosie …’ Steven slid his arm round her shaking shoulders. ‘Oh, I feel so useless! Come inside and talk about it.’
Rosie sat on the sofa with the cats on her lap, her tears mopped by Steven’s large hankie, a mug of coffee liberally laced with brandy clenched in her hand.
Steven listened attentively as she told her story.
‘… So, that’s it,’ she finished. ‘That’s how it happened. I think I behaved quite well. In other circumstances I’d probably even have liked her! And at least it solved one problem.’
‘And what’s that?’ Steven placed his own coffee on the table and turned down the Mozart on the stereo to a gentle hum.
‘I made up my mind that when Leon leaves me for her – which he will, so don’t make any fatuous remarks – I’m not going to be the bereft little woman sitting at home existing on handouts and sympathy. I’m going to survive. And I’m going to survive so well that Leon will wonder what on earth he left me for. I’m going to go into business myself and out-superwoman Miss Perfect!’
‘Good for you,’ Steven dropped down beside her. ‘And what exactly do you intend to do? Become the next Richard Branson?’
‘I haven’t a clue!’ Rosie’s laugh lodged in her throat, emerging as a groan. ‘Why are you looking at me like that? I mean it …’
‘I know you do.’ He leaned closer. ‘And that’s why I’m looking. You’re an amazing lady, Rosie. I know you’ll succeed and emerge from this mess bloodied but unbowed. Does Leon really know what he’s losing?’
Suddenly his face was close to hers, his gentle eyes asking unspoken questions. Rosie stared at this man who had been her friend for as long as she could remember and knew that he was going to kiss her.
For a moment she stiffened, almost recoiled, then as his warm lips sought hers, she gave herself up to the sweetness.
For twenty-four years she had kissed no one but Leon – and Leon had never kissed her like this. The warmth, the love, the need in Steven’s kiss found an answering echo in the depths of her lonely, frightened body. With a shuddering sigh, she felt herself responding, and amidst the warmth and the blissful soaring music, Rosie returned Steven’s kiss with a passion long-forgotten.
Steven’s True Feelings
The silence roared around them, broken only by the rhythmic purring of Steven’s two cats. Shocked and embarrassed, Rosie stumbled to her feet.
‘Rosie.’ Steven’s voice was unsteady. ‘Don’t go. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to … Don’t walk out now.’
‘I’m not.’ Rosie couldn’t look at him. ‘I – I was going to put some more music on … or something …’
‘At least that’s more original than offering to make a cup of tea,’ he said, sounding a little more normal. ‘Rosie, look at me.’
She turned, a pile of CDs in her hand, her freshly washed hair tumbling across her flaming cheeks. ‘It was just – just silly,’ she said shakily. ‘I was feeling so low … I should have stopped you.’
‘No you shouldn’t.’ He got to his feet. ‘It was something that we both needed. Anyway, what’s a kiss between friends?’ He smiled tenderly at her.
‘Steven, that was not a friendly kiss …’
‘Well, it wasn’t unfriendly, was it? Here, what do you fancy?’ He took the CDs from her trembling fingers. ‘Gershwin? Vivaldi?’
‘No, nothing. Oh, I don’t know …’ She looked into his eyes. ‘Steven, that must never, ever, happen again. I’m no better than Leon …’
‘Don’t ever say that!’ Angrily he pushed the Gershwin into the player. ‘What he’s done to you is unspeakable. Think about it, Rosie – if he hadn’t got entangled with Felicity you wouldn’t be here alone with me. Nothing would have happened. So don’t blame yourself. You’re a lovely lady who deserves to be treated a whole lot better than Leon has ever treated you.’
‘That’s no excuse for throwing myself at you.’ Rosie blushed at the memory. When Steven laughed, she flared up.
‘It’s no laughing matter! We’re not children! We should know better.’
Steven held up his hands. ‘I’m not laughing at you. Listen to me, Rosie. You didn’t throw yourself. You were sad and vulnerable – and I’ve wanted to kiss you like that for longer than I can remember.’
Rosie shook her head slowly. ‘But you’re Leon’s friend – and mine. And you’ve had hundreds of glamorous girlfriends. Norma Beatty and William both told me you were in the Nook with a new one only this week.’
Steven reached out and took her hands in his. ‘And why do you think that is? Why do you think I still play the field? What if I told you it was all because the only woman I could ever imagine spending my life with is married to my best friend?’
‘Oh no!’ This time she managed to free her hands. ‘No, Steven! You don’t mean that! You’re only being kind to me because of Leon.’
‘No.’ Steven shook his head, his eyes gentle. ‘I’m not being kind, Rosie. Selfish, insensitive, timing things badly – and explaining them even more so – yes. But kind, no. What I’m being is honest.’
Downstairs, the shop bell jangled loudly, and Steven sighed impatiently, then smiled again. ‘See what you’ve done – it’s the first time I’ve ever not wanted a customer! Look, pour a couple of drinks. I won’t be a second.’
‘I ought to be getting back. I must talk to Leon tonight …’
‘Yes, of course. But don’t go until I’m sure you’re OK. Just stay and have a drink first, then I’ll run you home. It’s getting dark – I don’t want you walking home on your own.’
There were far more things to be frightened of than a walk home in the dark, Rosie thought. Things like losing the man you loved to someone younger, prettier, better-educated; things like alienating your children; things like facing a future that held nothing.
Things like being kissed by a man whom you’d only ever thought of as a friend – and enjoying it so much that your heart raced like a teenager’s at the memory …
‘This must be some sort of family reunion.’ Steven’s voice echoed with false gaiety from the other side of the door. ‘Rosie was just leaving.’
He opened the door and, with an imploring glance at Rosie, ushered Leon into the room.
Confronted by her husband, she felt a red-hot surge of pain and anger. ‘There’s no need to follow me around.’ She winced at the biting tone of her own voice. ‘I said I was going for a walk. I’m not suicidal.’
‘I didn’t know you were here.’ Leon seemed edgy. ‘I left you a note …’
‘Why? I was just coming home.’
‘Because I had a phone call from the Nook. William hasn’t turned up and no one has heard from him. They’ve got a full restaurant and no chef!’
‘Well … I’ll be down in the shop if anyone wants me,’ Steven said, discreetly backing out of the door.
Neither Leon
nor Rosie said anything until he closed the door, then they both spoke together.
‘Rosie, what we were saying about making a decision –’
‘Leon, we really must talk –’
They stopped, irritated.
‘Go on.’ Leon ran his fingers through his hair. ‘You first.’
‘I was going to say –’ Rosie stopped in mid-sentence, her eyes moving down to floor level. ‘What’s that?’
‘My suitcase – and a few bits and pieces.’ Leon swallowed, feeling tears gathering behind his eyes. ‘I – I’m moving in with Steven for a while. He suggested that I stay here while we sort things out. Face it, Rosie, we’re getting nowhere.’
He paused, and when he spoke again his voice was racked with emotion!
‘Can – can you tell the children that I won’t be coming home?’
‘Shouldn’t you be at the Nook?’ Lisa turned anxious brown eyes towards the wall clock. ‘They’ve been open for nearly an hour.’
‘Dad’s responsibility.’ William shrugged. ‘I can’t remember the last time I had a night off. He hasn’t been in that kitchen for more than half an hour for weeks. This is far more important.’
Lisa gave him a grateful smile and resumed wrapping her scant possessions in sheets of newspaper. William, on his knees beside her, was careful not to appear too protective. Lisa was fiercely independent.
Goodness knows what it had cost her finally to tell him the truth. The two nights she’d spent in bed and breakfast to escape her landlady here must have been truly awful.
Even here, the drabness of her living conditions brought a lump to his throat. She had tried so hard to turn the austere room into a cosy home, with cheap table lamps to cast a warm glow, bright cushions on the threadbare sofa-bed, postcards framed for pictures on the dingy walls. Yet nothing could really detract from its cold anonymity.
A sharp rap on the door made them pause in the middle of their packing.
‘Yes? Who is it?’
‘Mrs Evans.’ The landlady’s voice echoed through the thin door.
Lisa scrambled to her feet and opened the door. Immediately, the middle-aged woman whom William had seen earlier in the day jabbed an irate finger in his direction.
‘No overnight guests in the rooms, Miss Ross! You know the rules!’
‘I’m helping her pack.’ William sat back. ‘Not moving in.’
‘And don’t be giving me any cheek, neither!’ Mrs Evans’ face turned an unbecoming red. ‘She’s broken all the other rules of the house – my house – so I suppose it was only a matter of time before she sneaked a man in!’
‘He’s my employer.’ Lisa gnawed at her lower lip. ‘He’s not stopping. I’m just moving my stuff out.’
‘Good job, too! And don’t you ask for no refund on your rent, young lady! I was within my rights to throw you out the minute I found out what you were up to!’
William stood up and towered above the landlady.
‘As I understand it, all Lisa was trying to do was provide a home for herself.’
‘Herself and her child – not to mention that crazy dog! In one room! In my house! I let rooms to single business people, professionals, not unmarried mothers with wild animals! And what’s your interest? Are you the father of that baby? Because if you are, I think you ought to know that she’s an unfit mother!’ She stabbed a finger at Lisa. ‘Dragging it out till all hours of the night. Leaving it alone with goodness knows who!’
‘Get out!’ William roared. ‘Close that door and go downstairs and mind your own business! As you seem so keen on spouting rules and regulations, may I remind you of tenancy rights? Lisa has paid for this room and you are violating her right to privacy!’
Mrs Evans stepped forward, then thought better of it. Without another word, she turned and left the room, and William slammed the door behind her with such force that the entire house quivered.
‘Wonderful!’ Lisa’s eyes were glistening with tears of laughter. ‘It’s what I’ve been longing to do to her for months! How on earth did you know all that stuff about tenancy agreements?’
‘I made it up.’ William grinned. ‘I haven’t a clue! But then, neither has she, obviously.’ He stroked tendrils of dark hair away from Lisa’s cheeks. ‘Why on earth did you come to live here with someone like her?’
‘I told you. It was cheap and I was desperate.’ Lisa looked away from him. ‘There aren’t many places that will take children and animals, and I had nowhere else to go. I had to lie. There was Lewis – and I’ve had Otis since he was a puppy.’
She turned back to him, her eyes beseeching. ‘William, that wasn’t true, about me being an unfit mother. I do look after Lewis in the best way I can. It’s not my fault I have to work late hours. The woman who minds him for me is young, but she has her own kids and she doesn’t charge much …’
William picked up her slender hand. ‘If only you’d said something.’
Lisa shrugged slightly. ‘Ever since Lewis was born, I’ve met with opposition. By the time I’d got to know you properly, to like you, it was too late.’ She gulped. ‘I couldn’t tell you then. I – I didn’t think you’d be interested in me if you knew I had a six-month-old son.’
Hauling her to her feet, William handed her the last of the cardboard boxes.
‘Let’s finish packing and get out of here. And you don’t know me very well or you would never have made that last remark. It came as a shock, I’ll admit, but it doesn’t alter you, does it? Or the way I feel about you …’
With everything stowed in the Mini and the keys returned to Mrs Evans, William drove away from the tall houses that edged the Common.
‘Do you want to go straight back to the bed and breakfast place now?’
‘Not really.’ Lisa shook her head in the darkness. ‘But I’ll have to. Could we pick Lewis up on the way? And I ought to pop in and see Otis at the animal sanctuary. They’ll only board him free of charge for a week.’
‘Otis first then. ‘William turned out of the High Street. ‘I can’t wait to meet this wild animal that terrified Mrs Evans!’
‘He’s as soft as butter!’ Lisa giggled. ‘A big, shaggy baby. He was usually fine on his own.’ She sighed. ‘If he hadn’t howled that night, Mrs Evans would never have known about him – nor gone into the room and seen Lewis’s pram …’
‘Thank goodness he did, then,’ William said with feeling. ‘At least it got you out of there. But where will you go after this week? Back home?’
‘Out of the question, I’m afraid.’ Lisa’s voice was almost lost beneath the noise of the engine. ‘That’s why I’m in this mess. My parents were horrified when I told them I was expecting a baby. I’d known they would be, of course, but I’d hoped they’d understand.’
She turned her head away and looked out across Highcliffe’s darkness. ‘They didn’t. We lived in a small village and their attitudes were pretty rigid. I – I went away to have Lewis and I’ve never been back.’
‘Don’t they want to see their grandson?’ William was shocked. He could understand Lisa’s parents being angry and disappointed, but surely they couldn’t turn their backs on their daughter and her child?
He was sure that if it had been Kizzy, Mum and Dad would have been fighting over who was going to change the next nappy or mix the next feed, once the dust had settled.
‘And what about Lewis’s father?’ he asked tentatively. ‘Didn’t he want to be with you?’
‘No!’ Lisa’s voice was angry. ‘And don’t ask any more! I can’t tell you! There are things about me that you’ll never understand.’
‘OK.’ William reached across and patted her hunched shoulders. He could take his time – Lisa had told him more tonight than in the whole four months he had known her. ‘But what I do understand is that by this time next week you and Lewis and Otis will be homeless again.’
He smiled in the darkness of the car. ‘And I think I may just have the answer to that …’
‘Are you sure you’ll b
e OK?’ Steven looked worriedly across at Rosie in the car’s cosy darkness as they pulled up outside Honeysuckle House.
‘I’ll be fine,’ Rosie assured him. ‘And at least now I won’t lie awake just waiting … At least now I’ll know that he’s not coming home.’ Her voice quavered. ‘This is the break we both needed, Steven. We knew it had to come. Now I can start to sort out my life.’
He gently touched her cheek in a gesture of support and friendship. He knew as well as she did that her brave words had no substance.
‘Of course. And I meant what I said about phoning me. Any time, Rosie. Promise me?’
‘I promise. Although Leon may answer the phone when I do …’
‘So?’ Steven stroked her cheek again, thinking that Leon would spend far more of his new-found freedom in Felicity’s luxury apartment than sharing his lumpy sofa with the cats. ‘I’ve always been friends with you both. Do you want me to come in with you?’
‘No thanks,’ she said quickly. ‘Steven, if you mean that – that you’re my friend – please don’t say anything to spoil it. I need friends now, not complications.’ She turned to face him. ‘You’re a wonderful man – but Leon is still my husband. He’s still the man I love …’
‘And the man you love has just left you to tell his children that he’s not coming home!’ he retorted angrily. ‘How much longer will you cover up for him, Rosie? How many more excuses will you make?’
‘Stop it!’ Tears stung her eyes. ‘This is our marriage – our problem. No one in the world knows Leon like I do. Not even you! Certainly not Felicity Phelps.’
‘Oh, Rosie.’ Steven sighed. ‘You don’t deserve this.’
‘No sympathy!’ Rosie choked back the tears. ‘You’ll only make me cry again. I’ll ring you in the morning. Thank you – for everything.’
‘You’re more than welcome.’ He reached over and brushed her lips with his own. ‘There. A kiss between friends.’
‘And that’s how it will have to stay,’ she said wistfully as she slid from the car. ‘Goodnight, Steven.’
Honeysuckle House Page 6
