“Heather will find a way to make her relax, don’t worry,” Barbara added as she placed pieces of cheesecake on white plates. “I really like that girl, by the way. She seems smart and down-to-earth. I’m so excited about this, Joy. Thank you for making this happen.” Barbara left the kitchen with two plated desserts, satisfaction showing in her bouncing steps.
“Yeah, I like her too,” Joyce mumbled to herself with a sigh before she grabbed the cream and sugar and followed her sister to the dining room.
* * *
Amanda sat sideways on a chaise lounge and was preparing to stretch her legs and get comfortable when Heather hurried to sit right next to her on the same chair, pressing her arm and thigh into hers. Her proximity made Amanda nervous, but not in the pleasant way Joyce’s had before. At the fair, on their walk by the stream, at the casino, and especially earlier in her art studio. She didn’t enjoy being this close to Heather, but she didn’t want to offend her, so she stayed put.
She’d accepted Heather’s invitation for a walk after dinner for the same reason she was now sitting so close to her. She wanted to be polite. Heather had been extremely nice from the moment they’d met and she was certainly attractive, but the truth was that Amanda would have preferred staying behind and doing dishes with Joyce. She was here for Joyce, not for Heather or anyone else.
The evening that had started in such a perfect way and held so much promise was ending quite differently from what she’d imagined. She’d hoped for more closeness, more intimacy with Joyce. Instead she was sitting on a chaise lounge without Joyce, her side pressed to another woman’s body. Frustrated with the turn of events, she reminded herself that there would be more dinners with Joyce. Alone with Joyce.
In the meantime, spending time with Heather was not that bad. She was making things easy for her. She directed the conversation, made her laugh, and didn’t seem to mind her quiet nature. Amanda saw a lot of Joyce in her. She figured they could even become friends eventually.
“So, do you think you’re in Bangor to stay?”
Since she’d sat together with her on the chaise lounge, Heather’s voice had become lower, softer, and she was leaning toward Amanda every time she spoke.
“Yes, I do. I love it here. And your aunt has been very good to me.”
“That’s great. I sure would like for you to stay. And I’m glad my aunt has a friend like you. She’s been so lonely since Evelyn’s death. You know, the love those two shared was so strong. Aunt Joyce was lost without her Evelyn. Their love was the kind of love you’re lucky to find once in a lifetime. It’s so rare, so precious. I hope I find it someday.”
“Yeah, me too,” Amanda answered, lost in thoughts of Joyce and Evelyn. Was she really naive to hope Joyce could love again and that she could be the fortunate woman she would love? How could she compete with the kind of love Heather was describing? She swallowed with difficulty, feeling inadequate.
“I don’t doubt you will, Amanda. You deserve the best, you know.”
“Thank you,” Amanda whispered, feeling her cheeks heat up with a blush.
“I mean it,” Heather added in a breath. Amanda watched Heather’s gaze move to her lips and she understood that her intentions went far beyond friendship.
Quickly, Amanda went over the evening in her mind, from the moment Heather and Barbara had arrived until now. She thought about Heather’s multiple questions, her charming conversation, her invitation for a stroll on Joyce’s property. Heather was hitting on her. Heavily. She’d always been dense about these things, oblivious to any attempt at seduction, but even she could see it now. As clear as day.
Heather’s face moved closer to hers and she felt the blonde’s breath on her cheek when she declared, “I’m glad my mother and my aunt arranged this dinner for us to meet.” Heather’s smile was languorous, her eyes half-closed.
“What?” was all Amanda could manage to say. She was barely starting to understand that Heather was trying to seduce her. Why were Joyce and her sister being added to the equation?
Heather chuckled before she answered. “You don’t know them like I do, but let’s say this wouldn’t be their first brilliant scheme. I don’t believe for one second this dinner was an accident,” she explained. “My mother has always disapproved of my girlfriends. She’s always wanted me to meet someone more intelligent, more driven, more…like you.” She smiled again, even more seductively this time. “I’m starting to believe she was right.”
“Wait,” Amanda said. She stood up. She needed to put some distance between her and Heather. This was not a romantic moment. This was the most confusing situation she’d experienced in her lifetime and she needed to make sense of it. “You’re saying that Joyce and your mother arranged this whole thing? That this evening was all a ploy for the two of us to meet?”
“Well, yes, but I’m not complaining about it.” Heather stood and moved to get closer to Amanda. She grabbed her hands, but Amanda abruptly pulled them away. She backed away from Heather slowly and closed a fist around the leather strap of her messenger bag, tears rapidly filling her eyes. She didn’t want to believe Joyce had done this to her, had used her, had tricked her as Heather was suggesting. Yet it made too much sense not to believe it. When Heather made another move toward her, she turned and ran.
She didn’t stop running until she’d made her way down the hill, away from Joyce and her kind. When she reached the less affluent part of Garland Street, she slowed to a walk and started sobbing before she could catch her breath. Doug had been right to warn her against Joyce. She’d used their friendship as bait to offer her to Heather in a neatly wrapped package. She’d been tricked, played, deceived. She was disgusted with Joyce but even more with her own gullibility. She kept crying until she arrived at her condo, bawling so violently that she barely made it to her bathroom before she got sick.
* * *
Joyce and Barbara sat in the living room on the cream leather sofas, drinking another glass of wine while Dingo lay quietly on his dog bed. He whimpered when the sliding door opened and Heather came inside alone. She slumped next to Barbara on the sofa, defeated. “Where’s Amanda?” Joyce asked with concern, turning to the sliding door that Heather had closed behind her.
“She left.”
“What do you mean, she left?” Joyce asked sternly. She stood up and hurried to the front door but when she opened it she saw no sign of Amanda. She went back to the living room for an explanation, panicked, and heard her sister ask the questions she desperately wanted answers to.
“What happened? I thought the two of you were hitting it off.”
“You really have no clue, do you, Mom?” Heather answered with the arrogance she’d kept in check all evening long for Amanda’s sake.
“Why don’t you explain it to me then?”
Joyce took Dingo in her arms before she sat back in the sofa facing Barbara and Heather, ready to listen. She needed Dingo to comfort her as much as she needed to comfort him.
Heather sighed with annoyance and rolled her eyes before she finally started to talk. “I tried, Mom. I really tried, despite the fact that you schemed behind my back to arrange this meeting.”
“What on earth are you talking about?” Barbara protested.
“Don’t you deny it! I know you, remember? You planned this whole thing and that’s fucked up, but I tried anyway because okay, yeah, Amanda is super interesting. And she’s totally hot in a geeky kind of way.”
“You keep saying that you tried. What does that mean? You always get any girl you want. What happened?” Barbara questioned, abandoning her act on the spot.
“She’s not interested in me, Mom. It’s obvious.”
“Is that why she left? Did you get too forward with her? Did you scare her away?”
“No. I don’t think so.”
A chill passed through Joyce as she figured out why Amanda might have run away. She had to know for sure. “Heather, did you tell Amanda you thought your mother and I arranged this dinner?”
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“Well, yes,” Heather admitted.
“Oh my god,” Joyce said weakly before she closed her eyes. “She’s going to hate me forever now.” She was paralyzed with an overwhelming sensation of loss. She’d lost Amanda. She’d warned Joyce she didn’t play games and wouldn’t tolerate for her to play games with her either. It couldn’t have been clearer. She’d betrayed her and she’d lost her. And she only had herself to blame.
“I don’t think she’ll hate you, Aunt Joyce,” Heather mumbled with spite, her arms crossed over her chest.
“What do you mean?” Barbara asked. “For god’s sake, child, it’s like pulling teeth. Enough already. You’re going to sit up straight and tell me and your aunt everything. You hear me?”
Heather reluctantly straightened up on the sofa and looked directly into Joyce’s eyes when she spoke. Joyce tightened her hold on Dingo, bracing herself to listen. “We went for a walk and it was very nice, but she didn’t bite. None of my moves, looks, smiles, nothing seemed to work. When I told her I was glad the both of you arranged for us to meet, she freaked out and she left.”
“Why didn’t she bite?” Barbara probed.
Heather laughed. “Oh my god, are you two really that clueless? Amanda’s not into me, Mom. She’s into Aunt Joyce.”
“What?” Joyce asked in a low, barely audible voice.
“Didn’t you two see how hard I had to work to keep her attention all through dinner? She always turned to Aunt Joyce before she answered my questions. I even had to keep her from following her to the kitchen. I mean, I had a feeling I was spinning my wheels then, but the way she reacted when I told her I thought you’d planned the whole thing confirmed my suspicions. If she’d been into me at all, she’d have laughed the whole thing off. But the way she ran from here…”
“What, Heather? Did she say anything?” Joyce’s voice cracked and her eyes welled up with tears. Her heart tightened in her chest.
“No. She didn’t say anything. But it was obvious she was heartbroken.”
Joyce squeezed Dingo against her heart and didn’t try to stop her tears.
“That makes no sense,” Barbara argued vehemently. “Your aunt is old enough to be her mother. Why are you making this shit up?”
“I’m not making anything up. The heart wants what the heart wants. Now if you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll go and meet my friends in town.”
“I came with you, Heather, can’t you wait?”
“No. I’ve wasted enough of this night, thanks to you. Now you come with me and I’ll drop you off, or you stay here. It’s up to you.”
“Go,” Joyce said before Barbara could decide. “I’ll be okay. Actually, I need to be alone.”
“Fine. If you say so.”
Joyce placed Dingo back in his dog bed and walked her sister and goddaughter to the door. She felt numb. Barbara gave her air kisses. “It’s better this way, Baby Sis. If Heather’s right Amanda would have gotten her heart broken sooner or later anyway. It’s not like the two of you could actually have a relationship, right? Can you imagine?”
“Right,” Joyce simply said, finding no energy to protest the manner her sister had chosen to comfort her.
To Joyce’s surprise, Heather hugged her tight and whispered into her ear, “Amanda’s a catch and you deserve a second chance at love. Don’t listen to Mother.” She kissed Joyce’s cheek and left the house, followed by her mother.
Chapter Eighteen
Amanda’s eyes were still puffy when she went back to the clinic on Monday morning. She’d cried until she’d fallen asleep from exhaustion on Saturday and woke up on Sunday only to cry some more. Joyce called and texted her a few times begging for a few minutes to talk to her, but she ignored every call and every text message. She knew that if Joyce had been able to play with her mind before, she could easily do it again. The safest thing to do was to stay away from her.
Amanda had hoped the walk to the clinic would ease her eyes, her brains, her heart, everything, but all it achieved was to give her time to figure out how she might avoid questions from her coworkers, especially from Doug, once she got to work. The best strategy she’d come up with was to avoid them all and keep to herself even more than usual.
The clinic was busy that day, for which Amanda was extremely grateful. A full schedule provided distraction from her broken heart and doubled as the perfect way to hide from concerned coworkers. Doug had to cancel the usual Monday morning staff meeting, and Amanda didn’t have time to stop and have lunch in the break room, where she might have been forced to answer a few questions. Destiny seemed to be on her side.
She’d made it through most of the day before she had to tell a young couple that Winston, their Lhasa Apso companion, was suffering from serious heart disease. When she explained that medication would allow their nine-year-old dog to live another twelve to eighteen months before inevitable heart failure, the couple held on to each other in a desperate embrace while they cried their eyes out. She remained strong for the young couple, comforting them as she was trained to do in such situations.
As soon as Winston left with his owners, however, she ran to the restroom where she broke down into tears. Someone else entered and left the unisex restroom during the twenty minutes she spent locked in a stall, and she hoped that whoever it was didn’t hear her crying. More than anything she hoped it wasn’t Doug. She could brush off anyone else’s inquiries, but she feared she couldn’t do the same with him.
Her worst nightmare came true when she came out of the restroom and saw him leaning against the wall right next to the restroom door. “Can I see you in my office for a minute?” he asked softly.
“I still have to see Mrs. Johnson’s cat.”
“It can wait. I just need a minute.”
Amanda sighed with resignation and followed him to his office. He closed the door behind them. “You have two options, Amanda. You tell me what’s going on right now, or you’re coming over for dinner tonight so Susan can get it out of you. What will it be?”
“There’s nothing wrong. I’m just tired.”
“Wrong answer, partner. I heard you crying in there.”
Amanda sighed again. She didn’t have the strength to have dinner with Doug and his family that night and she knew he wouldn’t let it go. She decided to come clean. “You were right about Joyce Allen. I should have listened to you.”
“Oh Amanda, I’m so sorry. Did she hurt you?”
Amanda nodded her answer and felt her face contort in a desperate attempt to hold her tears. Despite all of her efforts, she started sobbing and did something she could never have imagined in any circumstance. She moved closer to Doug, placed her head and hands against his chest and cried into his scrubs. Doug only hesitated for a second or two before he put his arms around her and held her. He didn’t stroke her hair or her back as she assumed someone like Joyce would do, but his strong arms were enough to soothe her. Doug might lack finesse but his embrace was honest.
When she stopped crying and moved away from Doug he reached out for a box of tissues on his desk and handed one to her. She blew her nose and he cleared his throat. “Is Joyce Allen coming back with her dog for another bandage?”
“Not before next Friday.”
“Good. I’ll take the appointment. You need to stay away from that woman. I don’t know what she did to you, but I know she’ll do it again.”
“I can do my job. You don’t have to protect me.”
“I don’t have to, but I want to. It’s no big deal. We’ll switch appointments that day and any other day she needs to be here with her dog. Okay?”
“Okay,” Amanda agreed weakly.
After a moment of hesitation, Doug placed his hands on her upper arms and squeezed lightly. “And don’t forget I’m here if you need to talk.”
“Okay,” she said again. An awkward silence followed; it was clear Doug didn’t know what else he was supposed to do. She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose with her finger and squared her shoul
ders. “Well, I better get to Mrs. Johnson’s cat.”
“Oh right, yes, of course.” He stepped aside so she could get to the door.
She put her hand on the door handle and without turning around she said, “Thank you, Doug.” She left his office before he had time to acknowledge her gratitude.
Chapter Nineteen
Joyce sat in the waiting room of the Perry Veterinary Clinic with Dingo on her lap and the painting she’d given Amanda on the chair next to her. She’d run so fast she’d left it behind. Joyce doubted she wanted it anymore, but she’d brought it nonetheless. She hoped it would remind Amanda of what they’d shared that evening before Barbara and Heather had showed up and ruined everything.
She corrected herself. Before she had ruined everything. She could have said no to Barbara. She should have said no. She’d actually meant to say no, until she’d thought Amanda was ready to meet someone and that introducing her to Heather could help.
She’d never thought in a million years that Amanda could be interested in her. Not with the twenty-four years that separated them. She’d replayed the conversation they’d had at the casino over and over in her mind after hearing Heather say that the only person Amanda was interested in was Joyce. When Amanda had revealed that she’d never believed she could find love before she’d met Joyce, she’d assumed that hearing about her relationship with Evelyn had led the young woman to open up to love, but that was not what Amanda meant at all. As shy as she was, she couldn’t have been clearer that day. She was opening up to the possibility of love because of Joyce. Not because of Joyce and Evelyn, but because of Joyce alone.
Joyce had barely slept since Amanda had run from her house two weeks ago. She didn’t know if or how a relationship with Amanda could be possible. All she knew, all she obsessed about, was that she needed to talk to her, to spend time with her again. If she could only convince Amanda to forgive her, they could figure out the rest together. She saw this visit to the clinic as her last chance to explain herself or at least to persuade Amanda to meet with her so they could talk about what had happened.
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