by Marilyn Lee
“I love you. I worship you. I live only to please you and attempt to earn your affection.”
She believed him, but it didn’t lessen her anger and pain at her certainty that he had allowed the man she loved to die for selfish reasons. “He loved me too, and we wanted to be together. You could have saved him, but you selfishly allowed him to die.”
“You don’t understand. I was too weak. I couldn’t save you both…”
“Please don’t lie to me, Aleksander. Even now I can feel your malice for him. You didn’t want to save him!”
A sense of confusion and pain surrounded her. “No. I didn’t want to.”
Rage filled her at the admission.
“Please let me explain.”
“No.”
“Please. Even if I’d wanted to save you both, I was much younger then and lacked the power or ability to save you both. He knew that—”
“What he knew is what I know now. You’re the one who’s keeping us apart for your own selfish reasons.”
“That’s not true.”
“Go away. Please.”
“Don’t ask me to do that. I can’t…not after all the time…all the anguish I’ve endured for the opportunity to be with you again.”
“It was wasted effort. I don’t want to see you again, Stormreaper or Aleksander or whoever the hell you are.”
“Please—”
She lay on the bed on her side with her knees bent, her eyes filling with tears. “If you have any real feelings for me, please just go away and leave me alone.”
“Tangi—”
“Don’t call me that! If you feel half of what you say you do for me, leave me in peace to try and deal with the mess you’ve again made of my life. I need to think without your self-serving presence.”
“My feelings for you have dominated everything I’ve ever done since I first saw you. If you give me a chance to explain—”
“Leave me in peace! Please!”
A sudden, brutal chill washed over her. She shivered. It lasted several seconds before it and he were no longer there.
He’d left her as she insisted he do. So why did she feel conflicted? She closed her eyes, swallowing the urge to call out and beg him to return to her. She lay for a long time with tears streaming down her cheeks before she drifted into an exhausted sleep.
Struggling with feelings of rage and despair, Aleksander reluctantly left Erin alone. Still too weak to resume human form, from which he suspected he might have stood a better chance of having her listen to his side of the story, he returned to the haven of rogue spirits, the Blue Desert.
A large white tent sat like a beacon of hope in the middle of an expanse of blue sands in the desert night. In his spirit form, Aleksander hovered several feet above the ground.
The closed flap of the tent and the lack of light from within indicated he’d arrived at an inopportune time. Interrupting the powerful spirit who the senior members of The Council contemptuously called Lord Rogue would not be wise. Yet the thought of returning alone to the dwelling he’d prepared with the hope of once again sharing it with Erin increased his rage. He had no mechanism for dispersing it, unless he found someone to expend it on.
No one with a corporeal form dwelled in this area of the Blue Desert. Anyone he encountered should be able to defend himself or have a protector capable of doing the job.
He moved away from the tent.
“Reaper.”
He turned.
A tall blond male dressed in white pants emerged from the tent.
Noting the annoyed look on the other’s face, Stormreaper spoke quickly. “I know it’s unforgivable to intrude on your time with your sheenea, Lord.”
“And yet you’re here anyway—intruding.”
“Your outspoken defense of my right to make my own choice was instrumental in The Council lifting its ban on my return to Earth.”
“It was also instrumental in branding you a rogue spirit banned from home until you renounce your perverted ways.”
“That’s not something I plan to do.”
“The ban is lifted, and you’re free to go wherever you like and to do whatever you like. Why are you here instead of with your sheenea?”
Stormreaper had to take several moments before he could respond in a calm manner. “She’s started to remember, and she’s chosen him.”
“Are you surprised? If you’ve learned anything from your previous time spent on Earth, it should have been that nice guys finish last. Instead of channeling all your energies into winning her, you were foolish enough to help your competition. Why did you provide the energy necessary for him to assume a human form again?”
“He begged me to, and she needed a chance to say good-bye.”
Flame shook his head. “You have to stop thinking of him as part of The One and start thinking of him as a rival who will use every opportunity you’re foolish enough to provide against you.”
“We were once very close, and he’s so lost without her.”
“As you will be if you don’t stop allowing him to use you! My patience with your inability to do what’s necessary to win her is limited, Reaper. Make a decisive move, and I’ll ensure none of the others interfere. But do it soon, or you’ll be on your own.”
“She’s made her choice.”
“Then change her mind!” Flame glared up at him. “She’s human. She can’t possibly prefer one who can only assume a corporeal body with your help. Woo her. Win her.”
“How?”
Flame’s nostrils flared. “Kidnap her if you have to. Ravish her until she surrenders to you. How the hell should I know? She’s your sheenea. Find a way to make her understand and appreciate the magnitude of your feelings for her. Once she knows that, there’s no way she’ll choose him.”
“I want her to want me.”
Flame sighed. When he spoke again, his voice held no trace of annoyance. “Sometimes you have to help a human woman understand what she really wants. If you want her, then start acting like it. Do whatever you have to do, regardless of the consequences.”
“The Council will—”
Flame’s eyes blazed, and he suddenly thrust his right hand skyward. When he opened his hand, flames shot from his palm, lighting up the night sky. “The Council will stay the hell out of this. Any Council member who dares to interfere will learn just why the hell they so rightly dubbed me Lord Rogue.”
Flame lowered his arm and turned his attention back to him. He parted his lips. “She’s yours for the taking, Reaper. So take her.”
Noting the traces of blood on Flame’s incisors, Stormreaper hesitated. “It’s true what the elders say. Isn’t it?”
“The elders say many things, Reaper. To which one of their so-called truisms do you refer?”
“That it’s degrading for us to assume a corporeal form for the purposes of mating with a human. That’s why the longer we retain the form, the more we revert to the parasitic vampires we once were.”
“We weren’t always parasitic vampires. Don’t forget the time when we were vampires with a noble calling. Don’t forget when we risked our lives and eternal souls to help others.”
“Those days are long gone, Lord. Now we require the blood of our human lovers to sustain us without any benefit to them.”
Flame’s eyes glowed. “Maybe so, but despite the elders’ views, there are few things that can compare to the innate beauty and sensuality of one who accepts you as you are and willingly and gladly offers the sweet, sustaining power of her blood.
“Are there trade-offs? For some of us, there will be. Some are not as powerful while in human form. The younger and less skillful among us are more vulnerable to attack the longer they retain their human form. You know that from what happened to Malikinder. Some run the risk of losing their ability to shed the human form at will. Some run the even greater risk of full reversion to the ravenous, soulless vampires we once were.
“There are many risks involved in choosing the love of a human fem
ale over the spiritual companionship and oneness with which the elders are content. Are you willing to face those risks to be with your sheenea, Reaper?”
The prospect of losing the unique ability to experience the oneness with those of his own kind, while daunting, paled in comparison to the thought of never knowing the absolute joy and bliss of mating with Erin. “Yes.”
“Then go win her. I and the rogues who have chosen to align themselves with me will ensure the elders leave you in peace.”
Chapter Twelve
Erin woke with a start, bolting into a sitting position in her darkened bedroom. Heart racing, she turned on her bedside lamps. She glanced around. Despite appearances, she knew she was not alone in the room. She could feel someone else there. Worse, it wasn’t Malikinder or Aleksander.
She pulled the sheet tangled at her feet up to cover her breasts. “Who’s there?”
A tall, well-built blond with silver-gray eyes dressed in white jeans and a white pullover suddenly appeared at the foot of her bed.
She sucked in a breath, pressing back against her headboard.
The man held up a large hand, palm outward. He shook his head slowly. “You have no need to be afraid of me, Tanginika.”
“No one calls me that anymore.”
He tilted his head. “But you are the same one who was called Tanginika?”
She sighed. “I’m not so sure of that, and anyway it was a long time ago. My name is Erin. Who are you?”
“I’m Flame.”
“Voni’s Flame?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
Her shoulders slumped in relief. That explained who he was, but not how he had gained entry into her apartment. Of course she knew he was no more human than Malikinder or Aleksander. “Why are you here?”
“I’m here to talk to you about Storm—Aleksander.”
She shook her head. “There’s nothing to say. In fact—”
He advanced slowly around the bed until he stood staring down at her. “In fact, there is far more to say than you can imagine. You have no idea what he’s endured because of his feelings for you.”
“I know what he’s allowed to happen to Malikinder, who I love.”
“Malikinder? The one you call Malikinder might more aptly be called Malice. He’s done nothing but repay Aleksander’s kindness with maliciousness.”
She stiffened. “Aleksander’s kindness to Malikinder? All he’s done for Malikinder is—”
He shook his head and held up his hand. “Don’t presume to speak about things of which you know very little.”
Despite herself, she swallowed the retort trembling on her lips.
“What do you know about us?”
“Almost nothing,” she admitted.
“Then allow me to school you about us. Malikinder, Aleksander, and I are living spirits who have long since evolved to a point where we no longer have corporeal bodies. The eldest among us believe assuming a physical body for what they’d call lustful and corrupt purposes is an evolutionary step backward.
“Assuming a physical form for a protracted length of time requires an incredible amount of energy. The very young among us, as both Malikinder and Aleksander were when they fell for you, risk the most when they retrogress. They are more vulnerable to harm than they would ever be in our natural form. When Malikinder romanced you in the West African jungle, he was very weak by our standards. As powerful as we are, we have equally powerful enemies who seek our destruction. Once one of our kind commits the sin of retrogression, The Council of Elders withdraws its considerable protection. Who do you think protected Malikinder from our enemies while he was with you in human form?”
She tightened her lips. “If Aleksander was so protective, why did he allow Malikinder to die?”
“He wasn’t strong enough to protect you both. A Creatoff who dies while human is condemned to an eternity of never belonging to our collective or one again. He can never return to exist among the others. If he’s very young and inexperienced, he probably won’t be able to assume human form again. For a living spirit, such an eventuality is…”
She watched his Adam’s apple bob several times before he went on.
“Without a corporeal body, all a living spirit has is the belonging to the collective and the sense of oneness we all crave. If that’s taken from us without any replacement, there’s no one to share the rest of eternity with. By our very nature, we crave intimacy.” He sucked in a breath. “To spend the rest of eternity alone…such an eventuality is purgatory to us.”
The thought of Malikinder relegated to such a long, cold existence sent a chill through her. She blinked rapidly to keep tears at bay. How could Aleksander have allowed such a thing to happen to him?
“In saving you, Aleksander broke one of the Creatoff’s cardinal directives, which mandate we protect one of our own first. The Council has the power and authority to impose harsh penalties on any who dare transgress our most sacredly held beliefs. The Council decreed both Aleksander and Malikinder guilty of such sins when they fell for you. Both paid a price for their defiance of The Council of Elders.”
“Maybe so, but because of Aleksander’s jealousy, Malikinder paid with his life and his eternal peace of mind.”
“You have your facts wrong, Tanginika. Despite his feelings for you and The Council’s decree, Aleksander protected Malikinder from our enemies for as long as he could. The Creatoff believe retrogression corrupts the sanctity of our spirit. In this, I have to believe The Council. What other explanation explains how Malikinder repaid Aleksander with such a shocking lack of gratitude?”
The disgust in his voice left her in no doubt as to the truthfulness of his words. “What…what do you mean? What…did he do?”
“Despite his grief at losing Malikinder, Aleksander was able to conceal his actions from The Council. Malikinder returned home to rectify that.”
She recoiled. “No.”
“Yes.”
“No. He must have returned home because he wanted to belong again.”
“No. He knew that was improbable at best. He returned to the collective for the sole purpose of betraying Aleksander.”
“If Aleksander was so generous, why would Malikinder possibly do such a thing?”
“Why do you think Malikinder betrayed him?”
“I don’t know that he did.”
He nodded. “Yes, you do.”
She recalled Malikinder’s many condemnations of Aleksander. She knew Flame spoke the truth, but she wasn’t about to admit it to him.
“Malikinder did it because he was determined not to allow Aleksander to be happy with you.”
“You make him sound selfish.”
“He is selfish. He went out of his way to ensure Aleksander was punished. What was Aleksander’s sole transgression? Protecting Malikinder while he romanced you—a female Aleksander hungered for himself. When some on The Council were inclined to overlook Aleksander’s transgression because of his youth and prior obedience, Malikinder protested until The Council summoned Aleksander home and punished him, and inadvertently you as well.”
“Me? How?”
“Have you no memory of the Crystal Falls and the happy times you knew there with Aleksander? Has time eroded all memory of your renewed grief when they ripped you two apart and returned you to Earth to live the remainder of your life without the adoration of either of the two who loved you more than they did their own sanity and freedom?”
“You’re only saying these things because Malikinder is black and Aleksander isn’t.”
He shook his head.
“Aleksander told me everyone at home was white. You’re taking his side out of prejudice.”
He stared at her in silence before responding in a cold voice. “The reason we generally assume white corporeal bodies is because they don’t require us to expend the massive amount of energy darker ones do. Even those of us who are capable of assuming a darker skin tone can only do it for a limited period of time.
“Whil
e we have prejudices, they are not based on skin color.” He softened his expression. “In fact, those of us who have retrogressed nearly always prefer women with dark skin. So you see, Tanginika, being black has no negative connotations with us. What I despise about Malikinder is his betrayal of Aleksander.”
His words evoked a faint remembrance of an overwhelming grief that even now sent a shiver of pain through her. “I…it really happened?”
“Yes.” He touched her cheek. “But it’s in the past. Aleksander’s punishment has ended, and you now have another chance for happiness together.”
She pushed his hand away. “He’s not the one I want.”
He swore. “Just as I suspected; you have no idea what you really want or even what’s in your best interests.”
His arrogance annoyed her. “What?”
“I’m sure you heard me. If you reject him after all he suffered for an opportunity to spend what is to us but a brief moment in time with you, then you are not worthy of him!”
She sucked in an angry breath. What could Voni possibly see in this creature who thought he knew what she wanted and needed better than she did? “Get out.”
He frowned. “As you wish, but it’s time you had a reality check.”
She stiffened. “Is that a threat?”
He narrowed his gaze. “You’re one of the people Devoni cherishes most. There is no question of a threat from me to you. It was merely a statement of fact.”
“What fact?”
He stared at her. “That it’s time you realize he doesn’t have to settle for you.”
“Settle for me? Are you implying I’m not good enough for him?”
He arched a brow. “Do you really think you are?”
“Why you…you… Yes I do!”
“Then you’re more deluded than I thought.”
“What?”
“Why should he subject himself to your ungrateful shit when he can have his pick of women? This city is filled with women who possess far greater beauty and charm than you can lay claim to. In fact, there are several women in this building who would jump at the chance to be his one. With them, he wouldn’t need to worry that they’d quickly spread their legs for any male who waved a big dick in their general direction the moment his back was turned.”
