Despite himself he smiled. That was the closest to discussing feelings as Megan was likely to come. He slid the key into the door and waited for the flashing green light.
She continued talking the incoherent way only drunk people could. “It could be worse. Tonight I made a list of things worse than being a journalist.” She closed her eyes, smashing her lids together. “Damn, I should have written them down…things worse than a journalist.” She tapped her foot on the carpet as she thought. “I know serial rapist was on the list.”
“Is this where you compare me to a paedophile again? I will have to tell you to fuck off. I was still trying to be polite last time but now I know you well enough to say get to fuck.”
“Please do.” Her eyes widened in anticipation.
He didn’t follow. “Please what?”
“Tell me to fuck off. I like when you say fuck. It makes me think of you fucking me. I close my eyes and I can almost feel it.” She stood on her tiptoes and placed a hungry kiss on his mouth. She tasted of sweet red wine, the same as the first time they had sex. But that time she wasn’t drunk, he reminded himself. He groaned as he pushed her away. It took more willpower than he knew he had to stop himself.
James walked to the mini bar and produced a bottle of water. He unscrewed the cap and handed it to her.
She took a long sip. “I never compared you to a paedophile. I said you were employing the same logic. Totally different. I know you like adult woman. Usually tall thin and blonde, but apparently in a pinch you will do ones of the shorter, curvier variety.” She patted the soft curve of her bottom to reinforce the point.
James shook his head. “You need to sober up before I call you a cab. I’ll bring your car back in the morning.”
Megan walked to the sitting area of the suite and collapsed on the cream chenille couch. “I don’t have my car. Ben dropped me off.”
“Of course he did,” James said sarcastically. Don’t all husbands drop their wives off to get a proper seeing to? He could laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
“I am going to tell you a secret. Don’t put it in your story. When I got here I realised what a mess my life is. I got all the way to your room and then I froze. What am I doing? I’m not cheating but it still seems wrong. Do you know what I mean? Of course you don’t know. You’re a man.”
“I know what you mean,” he said softly.
She dropped her hands to her sides. “Well, I’m here now, happy to commence our fuck fest of indeterminate length. Did we decide on a length?” She scrunched her nose up as she thought.
Shit if he could remember. All he could think about was the heavy length of his cock, painfully aware of how near she was. “You’re drunk.”
She wagged her finger at him. “I’m sober enough to give consent. I am giving you a general waiver to use my body as you see fit.”
He sucked in a deep breath. Christ, the things he could do with her body. His erection was straining against the thick material of his chinos. He wanted her. He could almost feel what her red lips would feel like wrapped around him. If they were half as tight and wet as her cunt, he would be coming in seconds. He shook off the thought He could not take advantage of her. But fuck if he had the willpower to say no. “I don’t have any condoms,” he lied. He never lied but it was the right thing to say. She was too drunk. He could not sleep with her like this. A lie was a smaller transgression than fucking a woman who would regret it in the morning.
Megan stood and walked slowly towards him. With every step her hips swayed. Her dress clung to her, caressing her soft curves. It was a fuck-me dress, she had put it on with the intention of getting laid. His gaze dropped to her breasts, the exposed flesh, pale and soft, calling out to be kissed.
“We don’t need condoms for what I want to do. I have been thinking about it all day.” Her hands dropped to his belt. “I want to taste you.” She unfastened his belt and then started on his button. “I want to suck you until you come in my mouth.” Megan slowly undid his zip freeing him, hard and thick, aching for her touch. He told himself to stop her but he couldn’t. He wanted her more than he wanted his next breath. Megan sank to her knees, pulling his trousers and boxer shorts to the floor with her. She looked up at him, her blue eyes filled with lust. Her small hand wrapped around the length of him, tentatively at first, but then with a confident pressure, stroking him from tip to base, slowly like she was savouring it. With her other hand she cupped his balls. And then her mouth was on him, her lips parted. With painfully slow strokes of her tongue she circled the head of his shaft, over and over again, until it took all his strength not to thrust into her and fuck her mouth. Finally her mouth opened wider and her mouth wrapped around the head, taking it fully. Her tongue continued to glide over the delicate skin at the head of his penis. Her hand slid up and down the base with the same cadence, as her mouth sucked with a greedy urgency that mirrored his own desire.
“Megan,” he moaned as he fisted his hands in her thick blonde hair. He had to tell her to stop. He would, just a few more strokes. It felt so fucking good. “Megan, I won’t be able to stop.” He moaned by way of a warning. Soon he would not be able to stop, even if he tried. But she kept going, her hands and mouth picking up pace, faster and faster until he reached the point of no return.
He was about to come and there was no place he wanted to be more than in her mouth. “Megan,” he called again as his body tightened and her mouth filled. She kept sucking, milking out every ounce of pleasure until every drop was in her mouth.
He should not have let that happen, but it was too late, a fire had been ignited in him and there was no stopping now. His fingers laced with hers as he pulled her up. He leaned down and kissed her, she tasted of him. He pulled at his buttons until they released their hold and he tossed his shirt to the side. He kicked off his pants and shoes, his mouth never leaving hers. He was greedy, the taste of him mingled with the sweet flavour of her mouth and drove him to the edge. He was already hard again, ready to bury himself in her as deep as her body would take. But not until he tasted her, he wanted to be marked in the same carnal way and more importantly he wanted to fuck her with his mouth until she screamed his name.
Without leaving her mouth, he pulled up on her dress. It came up with one tug. “All clothes should be this easy to take off.”
Megan nodded. Lust and alcohol hooded her lids. He remembered why he should not be doing this but he could not bring himself to stop. Only she could stop him. “Megan, tell me to stop now, because soon I won’t be able to.” His voice was a low growl, it sounded foreign even to him. He took the dress from her head and dropped it to the floor, leaving her in her bra and panties. James turned her around to unhook her bra. He licked the nape of her neck, relishing in the shudder he felt against his lips. He then pulled at her panties until they fell to the floor.
Slowly he lowered her to the couch. He hitched one leg over the back and the other leg over his shoulder. She was spread open wide for him, naked, soft, perfect. He positioned her so she could see him licking her. He wanted to feel how wet she was, feel that she needed this as badly as he did but he stopped himself. He drank in the raw beauty. He wanted to taste her but he drank with his eyes first, examining every layer, every intimate fold. Open for him.
His finger slid down her folds, gently opening her. He traced a path down through the slick wetness until he found the opening. He did not enter her, instead he circled with the softest of pressure. Her legs opened further, an invitation. He met her request by placing his thumb on her clit, moving it back and forth as his finger dipped into her, sampling her.
Megan moaned. Her head fell back, eyes closed. His head came up. “Watch, Megan. I want you to see me between your legs and know there is no place I would rather be.”
She nodded as she bit into her lip. His head lowered again. This time his tongue found the sensitive spot his thumb had just left. He sucked gently. Megan moaned. Her hips pushed up against him, guiding him, teaching him where she
needed him. His mouth travelled lower still until his tongue was at the entrance of her body. He licked, and kissed, tasting her, learning her body, marking both of them.
Megan thrashed about. “James please,” she rasped. She needed her release and he would give it to her, but not until he had finished tasting her. He was drunk on it, her smell, her taste, and the power of knowing he was about to give her the ultimate pleasure one body could give another. He smiled down at her. “Don’t close your eyes.” he commanded.
She nodded again and he rewarded her by returning to the sweet spot. He traced the outline of the intimate detail. When she moaned again, he sucked again. Her hips shot up, thrashing against him, pulling him in deeper, guiding him. “Ahhh….James….there…don’t stop” He had no intention of stopping. He would gladly lick her until she came and came again. She rocked against him frantically her hips working in unison with him to bring her over the edge. Her hips bucked. He slid two fingers inside her as her climax overtook her, pulsating.
He kept licking. “James, no more, I can’t take it,” she panted but he could already feel her body tightening against him, ready to go again, just needing to be coaxed over the edge.
“One more time,” he breathed against her curls. He wanted it for himself as much as her.
“Fuck me,” she begged.
Never had he regretted lying more. He couldn’t fuck her because he said he had no condoms. He would not be seen as a liar, especially in front of Megan. He said that when he thought he had the self-control to tell her no. He didn’t and he was paying for it now. His body punished him by growing harder and thicker. Consequences be damned, he wanted to be inside her but he forced her hips down. He was not going to get any relief but he would make certain she did. “Lie back. I’ll take care of you,” James murmured against the slick heat of her opening.
“Please. I need you inside me.” She pulled frantically at him
He stopped fighting her and pulled back on his haunches to speak. All shreds of his willpower were being ripped from him. “I need a condom.”
She shook her head. “I had a birth control shot today. Good for three months. Can’t enter a sex contract without protection,” she breathed into his mouth, capturing his lips with hers.
That was all the encouragement he needed, so practical, so Megan. He scooped her up from the couch and carried her to the bed. He laid her on top of the duvet. He stopped just long enough to admire her. The last time they had sex, they hadn’t managed to take off their clothes. This time he wanted it to be different. He wanted to feel her skin against his. And this time he didn’t want her to run away as soon as they were done, surprising, since he was usually the one doing the running.
He raised her arms to the bed and pinned her in place, a sign to her that she was not going anywhere, and then he thrust into her in one languid movement. Her body offered no resistance, just soft yielding flesh, stretching to take all of him. For a long moment he did not move. The sensation of her body circled tautly around him was all the sensation he could take, any more and he would be coming again.
Megan pushed her hips up, straining to pull him in deeper. He smiled at her eagerness and rewarded her by pushing into her until he felt the solid wall of her cervix against him. He pulled out again and then slid into her again slowly, inch by inch, making sure she was ready to take all of him, the unrestrained, hedonistic self that would not stop until he had had his fill of her.
Her hands fisted against the sheets. Her head tossed from one side to the other. She was so beautiful like this, as he fucked her, her cheeks flushed, her eyes dilated, her red lips parted. He took her head in his hands, and kissed her softly. The moment was tender and sweet, the last she was going to get for the next few minutes. His control was gone, now it was about passion and frenzied release, it was about him fucking her as deep and fast as her body could take and making sure she came just as hard as he did. With a groan, he unleashed his passion, grinding into her, pinning her into the bed, thrusting into her until her eyes widened, with pain and pleasure and a greedy desire. Her legs opened wider. She clawed at his ass, sinking her nails deep into his flesh, letting him feel the same combination of sensation. He bit back a groan, as he drove into her, over and over again.
“James…oh God…James….right there….ahh…don’t stop….never stop,” she panted against his ear. Her hips bucked wildly up, but he drove her down with long powerful thrusts, forcing her to take more than both of them thought she could, but she yielded to him, her passion matching his.
She screamed out as an orgasm overtook her. The spasms of her body squeezed his cock, milking his own release. He sighed her name and he fell onto her.
Megan’s heart thundered in her chest as hot fluid entered her body, claiming her. James was heavy against her but she did not want him to move. She needed the fullness of him inside her, stretching her, to make it all seem real, something to separate the outside world from the special unspoken bond they had. Words would ruin it. She closed her eyes and breathed in the satisfied smell of sex, their unique scent, his body mixed with hers.
For a long time, he lay on top of her pinning her to the bed. Then he rolled over taking her with him, his body still encased in hers. His hand ran down the length of her spine, settling on the delicate hollow of her back.
After a long time he spoke. “No running this time. You’re spending the night here with me. We are going to take a bath and then you are going to come to bed beside me.”
She nodded. She did not trust herself to speak. She would say something stupid and ruin the moment.
Eventually James got up and ran a bath. She did not get up. Slowly the exhilarated high of sex wore off and she was left with the familiar desire to run. She closed her eyes. There was nowhere to go. There was no place she felt better. If she ran now, she would be running forever.
A few minutes later James returned; a box of condoms in his hand. “I lied. I told you I didn’t have any condoms because I knew you were too drunk. Turns out I have very little self-control when it comes to you. I’m sorry.”
She turned to face him. His face looked pained as he admitted the truth. It was hardly a lie. He hadn’t threatened national security or perjured himself. She barely registered it as an untruth. “I told you I was sober enough to consent.”
“All drunk people say that.”
She shook her head. “I am way too drunk to drive, but I am the perfect amount of buzzed to be fucked.”
James did not look convinced. “I’m sorry.”
“About what?” she asked. “If you say you’re sorry you fucked me, I might break your other hand.”
Half of his mouth curled into a smile. “Definitely not sorry I fucked you; it was the highlight of my day. I’m just sorry I lied and I took advantage of you.”
Megan stood and made a tut sound. “Nobody has taken advantage of me in a very long time. If I didn’t want something to happen, you would be the first to know. Give yourself a break.” She walked past him into the bathroom and sank into the tub. Her taut muscles relaxed as hot sudsy water lapped around her. The bath was massive, easily room for two. She spread her legs and made space for him to climb in. She had never shared a bath with someone. There had never been the need or the opportunity. Sex for her was goal orientated, once she was done, she was done, emotionally and physically. But she had nowhere to be tonight and no one else she wanted to be with.
When he was in the tub, she wrapped her arms around his solid chest. He was so strong but she felt safe. “I like that you compromised your values for me. I feel like I’m corrupting you. Besides, that kind of lie is permissible. It would be kind of like me telling you I was on the birth control just so you wouldn’t stop.”
She felt his body tense but he didn’t say anything. She was kidding, he had to know that. Maybe the alcohol had destroyed her sense of humour because she thought it was funny and it was obvious she was joking because it was so completely out of character. But he did not know her we
ll enough to know that about her. “That was a joke. I would never have had sex without protection. I would have stopped mid-orgasm if I had to.”
“Woman, you have more strength than me.”
No she didn’t. She just understood the consequences better. But she could not tell him that. “Just to be clear; I had the shot today and there is no way I could get pregnant.”
James leaned back against her, her legs wrapped around his waist. He rested his cast on the side of the bath. Careful not to get it wet, she squeezed a dollop of shampoo onto her hands before she lathered up his hair.
“There would be worse things than you getting pregnant. We’re both adults. Both stable and employed and you might not have read this, but I have a shitload of money.” James leaned his head back against her shoulder.
The scene was almost too intimate for her, more so than having sex. With sex she could always blame hormones or the alcohol; it would be a lie, but at least she had an excuse. But sitting naked in the bath, talking, there was nothing to hide behind. She was too exposed.
“Just to be clear, there is not even the smallest possibility of hearing the pitter patter of tiny feet. Well, not from anything that came from my uterus.”
Megan ran her hands up the deep ridges of his abs.
“And just so you know, if you did happen to get pregnant, I’d support you in whatever decision you made. You don’t need to worry about me manning up. I would support you and the tot.”
A hard lump formed in Megan’s throat. She did not indulge in hypothetical conversations but this one had meaning for her. “And if I chose a termination?”
James sighed. He was silent for a long time, making her sorry she had brought it up. Eventually he said, “I would support you in that too, but I would be disappointed.”
Her heart squeezed painfully at his words, responding to his judgement.
Dirty Little Secrets Page 11
