by B. A. Wolfe
Life wasn’t guaranteed; I knew that. Too soon or not, my heart screamed that this was right. I scooted closer to him, my lips grazing his. “Yes. Yes. And yes.” I kissed him for each yes. “And that’s my final answer because I want this and you and everything you just said. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
He pulled me closer and my head rested on his chest.
This was completely and utterly real. So why was a pit growing in my stomach? Something stirred inside as if to say enjoy it while it lasted. That nothing this real and amazing was ever perfect. I felt a bomb would drop at any moment and ruin everything. I wiggled from his hold and inched back, tucking my legs underneath me.
I stared at Aidan’s mint chocolate eyes, his lips, and his gorgeous hair that I’d had my fingers in just moments ago. Then I stared deep, deep into his soul. The beauty he held within his ribcage had slowly mended me. There was nothing I could do but pray the moment I felt was imminent never came.
“You’re scaring me.” He rolled on his side, bent his elbow, and rested his head in his hand. “You seem upset. What’s wrong?”
It didn’t take but two tears to trickle from my eyes for Aidan to scramble to his knees and pull me to him. “Tell me. What’s wrong?”
“You’re not sick, are you? You’re not going to leave me, too, are you?” My chest caved in as the rest of the tears flowed out. “I’m so afraid of getting hurt again.”
“Baby, no. God, no, I’m not sick. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here.” With his final words he pulled me against his chest, holding me so tight it almost hurt, but I needed him that close.
“I don’t want to lose you, Aidan.”
He muttered under his breath. “You’re not going to lose me.” He pressed his lips to my head. “I’m right here, Sweet Tea. I’m not going anywhere, and I won’t hurt you. I’ve got you.”
I cried harder. When he said those three words, ‘I’ve got you,’ my heart knew—it knew he did, in fact, have me. He had me at the funeral, at the light on the way to his grandma’s, and when it came to Shay and Anna. He. Always. Had. Me. I trusted him.
“I don’t want to lose you, either. I can’t lose you.” His words were laced with so much feeling I didn’t think either of us realized how deep into this we already were. I wasn’t just head over heels, I was so far gone it would take me eons to dig myself out if something ever happened to him—or to us. It would be impossible to recover.
Dan
I HELD HER FOR ABOUT an hour after she cried in my bed. The fact she thought I might be sick and she would lose me had me fighting back more tears than I’d ever admit. I never expected her at my house tonight. I never expected her to want me as badly as I wanted her. Tonight was my new favorite night, ever.
I looked over at her as we pulled up to a red light. The illumination tinted her skin to look flushed as she stared ahead. It took my mind back to the sight of her flushed face on my bed. She caught me grinning and asked me what it was for. I shook my head, leaned across the console, and kissed her cheek.
The sky was dark as I parked in front of her apartment building. I opened her door and all of me wanted to carry her up the stairs to her apartment, but instead I took her hand and followed her upstairs.
The second she unlocked the door to her apartment she rushed to Jase, who was still awake. There was never any doubt, that baby had one hell of a mother. She held him in her arms as she twirled with him, only to cradle him against her chest, hugging him as if she’d been gone for weeks. Jase giggled and lit up the minute she did.
Mel looked exhausted, but not because of Jase. It seemed she had other things on her mind. She told us goodnight and left for her room. Cassie had me follow her back to hers. It wasn’t what I expected. She had a king size bed with a huge dark cherry headboard. The normal bed furniture had their places in her room, along with softer decorations that were neither flowery nor girly. They were modern, up to date, and refreshing. I buried my hands in my front pockets, my fingers playing with my keys.
She looked up. “It’s late, why don’t you just stay?”
“Trying to get me to stay over, huh?”
“Is it working?” Her eyebrows wiggled.
I huffed. “More than I’d like to admit.” It wasn’t that late, but hell if I wanted to leave her. “I’ll stay on the couch.”
Her gaze lowered. “I think we’re past the couch.”
I laughed under my breath. “I think you’re right.” I wanted nothing more than to crawl in bed next to her. God only knew how hard it was for me to even mention the damn couch, but it was the gentleman in me.
Her lips crept into a smile. “I’m going to put Jase to bed.”
“’Night, little man.” I waved to a groggy Jase who snuggled himself against Cassie’s chest.
I lowered myself to her fluffy bed, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. A pit of guilt grew in my stomach the longer I sat alone in her room. Her voice startled me out of my reverie.
“You know, most people prefer to sleep lying down on the bed, not sitting on it.”
Lifting my head, I motioned with two fingers for her to come to me. She stood between my legs as I held her by the waist.
“You’re not leaving, are you?” Her voice was hesitant.
“No,” I reassured her. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with me staying. I don’t have to. I only live ten minutes away.”
She inched closer, her thighs brushing against me. “I want you to stay. Please. I’m not that girl who has guys stay over. Please don’t think that. It’s not who I am. But this, it feels . . .”
“Right,” I said, finishing her sentence.
Her eyes twinkled. “Exactly.”
“I know you’re not that girl. And that’s why I want you to know I’m not that guy. I don’t do sleepovers, but I also don’t want to leave.” My right hand left her waist and brushed the side of her smooth face. “I want to see you when I wake up.”
“It’s kind of a frightful sight, to be honest.”
I rose from the bed, cupped her face, and pressed my lips to her forehead. “I’ll be the judge of that.”
She left to her closet and came back out in a long, thin shirt that stopped mid-thigh. She wasn’t the girl who had to wear either lingerie or nothing to bed—not that I wouldn’t be in seventh heaven to see her in it, but she could wear a shirt and still be sexy as hell. I drew in a heavy breath and followed her to the bathroom. She handed me an extra toothbrush and a washcloth.
She left the bathroom and I finished brushing my teeth and then stripped down to my boxer briefs. I strolled into the bedroom. Her eyes looked up at me as she pulled down the comforter on her perfectly made bed. I flashed her a wink, shut off the light, and slid in next to her. Her sheets were freaking cold. She giggled as I pulled her close to my shivering body.
“This makes getting into a cold bed so much better.” Her voice was soft and sweet.
I sighed. It sure did.
“’Night, Aidan.” Her fingers tickled as she drew a circle on my side.
I laughed under my breath when I realized it wasn’t a circle, but an O. “’Night, Sweet Tea.” I pressed my finger to her back and drew an X.
She released a content sigh and I swore her body melted against mine. I fell right to sleep with her snug against my chest and my arms caged around her.
I woke up from a dead sleep and caught sight of Cassie facing me, her eyelids shut tight as she breathed deeply. I wasn’t dreaming. I really did fall asleep in her bed. I pulled my hand down my face and I released a deep sigh.
My eyes scanned the dark room. A static-laced whimper sounded by my right ear, the same noise that had startled me awake. I eased up, leaning on my elbow to see a monitor on the nightstand next to Cassie. Jase. I gazed down at Cassie. She was curled up with the blanket tight around her. Trying not to wake her, I slid out of bed, grabbed my jeans, and put them on. I hadn’t a clue what Jase needed, but my mind was already made up. I closed t
he door behind me and turned the knob to Jase’s room, letting myself in.
I didn’t know why I tried to step softly, he was already awake, but I tiptoed to his crib anyway and peered in. I went to pick him up and caught sight of the PJ’s Cassie had put him in. I froze. They were red, green, and had little R’s covering them. They were freaking Robin PJ’s. Ah, man. I was in for it. My heart sped up as I remembered Jason having a pair to go along with my black and yellow Batman pajamas.
“Come here, big guy.” I lifted him out of his crib. “Your mommy’s sleeping, so let’s bond, you and me. Sound good, buddy?”
The minute I picked him up, his cries stopped. His little eyes widened as I carefully wiped his tears away. With a gentle hand, I rubbed his back and made my way to the rocking chair, sitting us both down. I couldn’t help but smile as I looked at him. His dark blue eyes peered up as he searched my face. I rested my feet on the footstool in front of the rocker and began swaying us back and forth.
His tiny hand gripped my index finger and I was sure I had fallen in love with the boy snuggled against my chest. Little o. Hugging something so small and precious was consuming. I honestly wasn’t sure I’d be able to put him back in his crib. All I wanted was to keep him close as I told him stories. I didn’t want this moment to end. Little Robin just melted my heart.
“Do you know who you’re named after, Jase?” He put his hand up to his mouth, trying to shove it inside. ”You’re named after my brother.” I smiled as his cheeks squished together from smiling back, his hand still partially in his mouth. “I used to sit with my brother when he was little and tell him stories. Mostly scary ones, because that’s what big brothers do. They scare the crap out of their little brothers. I don’t want to tell you a scary story though, little man. Someday you’ll be a big brother and then I’ll let you in on the best scary stories I know. For now, though, how about we do a nursery rhyme?”
I drew in a breath and thought of a nursery rhyme. I began reciting the only one that came to mind, Rock-a-bye Baby. As I got to ‘cradle will fall’ I stopped. What the hell? What kind of a song was that? “Yeah, not happening, Jase. Sorry.”
I thought of another one. I began Itsy Bitsy Spider but stopped once again. What in the hell is with these songs? A little child is supposed to go to bed after you tell him about falling in a cradle and then a wandering spider? Hell no. I swallowed back my frustration and searched his room for a bookshelf. We’d be better off with a bedtime story.
My eyes didn’t make it far before they caught a pair of eyes that pinned me to the rocker. Cassie stood against the doorframe; her head delicately leaned against her hand that held onto the frame. I did a once over, my chest swelling as I took in her tender features. I gave a nonchalant shrug as she approached; her long shirt brushed her thighs with each soft stride.
She stood behind the chair and leaned forward. “He loves Twinkle Twinkle.” Her warm breath tickled my neck as she spoke.
My mind took me back to the front porch as I watched her swinging him to sleep with that song. I began the words and her velvety voice hummed along as she rested her cheek against my head. My body let go of any anxiety it held onto, wondering if it was okay I was even in here with her son. I knew in that moment it was exactly where I was supposed to be.
“How I wonder what you are.” By the time I finished the last line, Jase’s heavy eyes had completely shut.
“Works every time,” she murmured. My skin buzzed as her hand trailed down my arm. I rose from the rocker. Cassie pressed a kiss to Jase’s head before stepping back so I could approach his crib. My arms couldn’t help themselves as I squeezed him tight and whispered in his ear. “I’ll always be your Batman, Jase.” I laid his sleeping body in the crib and met Cassie at the door.
I toddled behind her, my hands tight around her waist and couldn’t help but wonder how a guy like me could be blessed with such a girl and her little boy. What did I do to deserve them?
I slipped my jeans off and crawled back into bed. Cassie rolled on her side to face me. “How do you not bring him back in here with you?”
A smile played on her lips. “Insane willpower.”
Cassandra
I GRAZED MY FINGERS along the soft sheets beside me but there was nothing, only an empty spot with a pillow. The warmth from my bed had disappeared. And sadly, so had Aidan. I swung my legs off the bed and sat up, my lips tugging into a smile as images from last night flooded my vision.
I’d loved waking in the night to the sound of Aidan’s attempts at nursery rhymes over the monitor. In desperate amusement, I couldn’t take it anymore; I had to see it with my eyes. I wanted that moment forever etched in my brain. And now it was.
Something soft brushed against the tips of my fingers as I gripped the nightstand. I quickly captured it and it held in front of me. The chicken scratch scribbled across the paper napkin had my heart thudding against my chest and my smile widening.
Just like I thought, you look gorgeous in the morning. I’ll call you tonight.
Aidan
My grin never vanished as I went about my morning. I didn’t know why I deserved to have this guy in my life, but I’d be damned if I ruined it for myself by assuming something would eventually tear it all away from me.
I had plenty of things that I needed to do today, but the silent elephant in the room—my phone—continued to mock me from afar, letting me know last night’s voicemail was still unanswered and waiting for me. I put Jase on his blanket for tummy time and snatched my phone from the kitchen counter. My hands trembled as I forced myself to hit the play button on the recording.
“It’s Parker. I want to talk. Can we meet at the same coffee shop next week? Monday works best for me. Let me know. Bye.”
I released the breath I was holding. There was nothing in his voice that screamed remorse or heartache, but it wasn’t harsh, either. The tone was so neutral it almost made me more upset that I couldn’t sense any emotion. Was he sorry for being a bastard? Did he want to yell at me some more? What was he feeling?
It was time to fill Mel in. I had to talk this through with her. I clicked on her number and she answered with an almost lethargic sounding voice.
“Girl, I’m sitting here in my cubicle hating life, so for the love of God, I need to hear something that has nothing to do with work. Tell me about Rub a Dub Dub. Tell me about last night. Please,” she begged.
Any other time, I’d be dying to fill her in, but there was no way those words were getting out before I got this Parker thing off my chest. “Mel. I need to ask you something.”
The phone shuffled and her voice grew quiet as she spoke, “Babe, what’s going on?”
I fought through my fears and came clean, telling her about my secret meeting with Parker. The other end of the line remained silent. I could imagine her face bright red and if I were with her, her eyes would have already killed me—twice. I let my eyelids drift shut for a moment; my heart raced with anxiety. I jumped another hurdle and told her about his voicemail.
“If you even for a second think about giving him the time of day, I’ll personally come kick your ass. I can’t even believe you met him a first time.” Her words were laced with anger.
Mel wasn’t in my shoes. She didn’t understand why letting Jase know his father was important to me. I had also hoped to prove the haters wrong about Parker and truly thought he’d pull through. “You don’t think he wants to apologize or finally ask about Jase, do you?” I prayed she’d give me the answer my ears craved.
Her loud huff came across as sadistic. “Absolutely not. He sounds like a tool, Cass. I’m so mad you didn’t let me go with you to meet him in the first place. That asshole.”
“I really thought it would go better.”
Her voice softened as she spoke, “Cass, listen. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. But he doesn’t deserve a second chance. If the first time was bad, what makes you think the second will go any better? What did his voicemail say? Was he an ass again?”
“His voicemail was worthless. It just said he wanted to meet.” That was the part I hated the most; I couldn’t decipher anything from his voice.
“My opinion is not to meet him again. You gave him a chance already. That was big of you, and maybe—not in my eyes—but maybe the right thing to do. This time he doesn’t get a second chance. Text him back this: Asshole, leave me the hell alone. I don’t want to meet you now or in the future. Lose my number and I’ll lose yours. Peace out, dick muffin.”
My throat caught as I listened to the outrageous text she wanted me to send.
“Or, ya know, whatever you want to say. But I can tell by your general lack of talking that you want to meet him. If you do want to meet him, I’d like to be there with you—for support. I’m here for you, babe.”
My chest eased and my heart rate lowered. “Really? Thanks, Mel.”
“Anytime, mama. Just stop keeping shit from me. And one last thing . . . If you do end up meeting him, tell Aidan. Don’t keep this from him.”
I wasn’t expecting that. Great. I told her thanks, ended the call, and then replayed Parker’s message one last time. Mel’s forceful suggestion and Parker’s voice battled in my head. I wanted to agree with Mel; I already gave Parker his chance.
But the thought of Jase’s little face stole my sight. Parker was his father. What if he wanted to apologize or meet his son? Shouldn’t I give Jase the chance to know him?
Enough. I called a halt to the mental torrent and answered with a text.
Me: We can meet at noon. But this is the last time.
I cringed as I watched the bar on my phone show the text’s progress. In less than three seconds, it was sent. Done. His response was immediate. My hand covered the stabbing pain in my stomach.
Parker: See you Monday.
I tossed my phone back onto the counter and sank into a chair. What did I just do?
