by B. A. Wolfe
Aidan threw his head back and breathed hard through his nose as a deep growl emerged from his quivering lips. Falling forward, his forehead rested against mine as he let his body collapse. I ran my fingers through his damp hair as we lay there on the barn floor, surrounded by hay . . . catching our breaths.
Definitely a perfect first time in a barn.
Cassandra
I STEPPED INTO THE kitchen early the next morning. Trish and Bart had already left and I was bummed. I really wanted to talk to her, especially after finding out she knew about my relationship with Aidan.
I sat quietly at the table, feeding Jase breakfast. A yawn escaped me as I held his bottle. I’d barely slept a wink. Heat settled in my cheeks as I thought of our date under the stars and then in the barn. Oh yes, the barn. I sighed softly as my head tilted.
“That good, huh?”
Aidan’s husky morning voice almost startled me right off my chair. I clutched Jase tighter in my arms as I braced myself to make eye contact. I hated getting caught. I laughed with embarrassment as I peered up at him. His chest was bare, his plaid sleep pants hung low on his hips, and his lips were curving up in the corners. What a sight for the morning.
“Good morning,” I answered, my words laced with amusement.
“Morning. Coffee?” he asked with a cocky grin.
I nodded, trying not to drool. “Thanks.”
“Hungry?”
“No, not really.”
“That’s too bad.” His head cocked as he poured coffee into a mug.
I snickered as I lifted Jase to my chest to burp him. “Why’s that?”
He sauntered to the table, setting my coffee down in front of me. With a delicious grin that played on his lips he placed a sweet kiss to my forehead. “Because I have something for us.” Jase cooed as Aidan spoke. “Is he always this happy in the morning?”
I wiped Jase’s mouth and smiled. “Always.”
Aidan reached out and pulled Jase from my hands. He pressed a kiss to the side of Jase’s head and cuddled him close to his chest as he turned toward the counter. A few moments later, he placed a white box on the table. My eyes flickered from the box to a grinning Aidan. “Open it,” he said.
As I peeled back the lid, it pegged me that this was the box from last night. I lifted the lid the rest of the way and was intoxicated by an intense chocolate aroma. It burst from the box as if it were trying to escape. A huge slice of German chocolate cake sat pretty inside. I looked up at Aidan.
He simply shrugged. “We never ate it yesterday. Someone got distracted.” He flashed me a wink. “How about cake for breakfast?”
“I’m suddenly very hungry.”
Aidan laughed as he brought two forks, taking a seat in the chair next to me. Cake for breakfast was a first, a very awesome first, in fact. The cake and our coffee vanished faster than the time it took to digest, but lord help me, it was worth it. I grabbed our evidence-free forks and the empty box and headed for the kitchen. Aidan went in the opposite direction; Jase was in need of a diaper change. “Are you sure you don’t need my help?” I shouted from the sink.
He scoffed. “I’ve got this. Have a little faith, huh?”
With a deep sigh, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. I had just scrubbed the forks when my phone began to vibrate from the counter behind me. I held my breath as I clutched it between my fingers. My mother’s name scrolled across the screen. Panicked, I hit ignore and set it back down. Why was she calling all of a sudden?
“And. We. Are. Done.” Aidan blew raspberries between each word. His happy tone had me forgetting about the phone call, all thoughts turning straight to a giggling baby as I loaded the forks in the dishwasher.
Aidan waltzed through the kitchen with Jase. “Tell your mom that Dan-Dan knows what he’s doing,” he said as he tickled his nose on Jase’s cheek.
My heart swelled as he called himself Dan-Dan. Oh my. I loved it, too much. I wanted to cry for the fact my Jase could call him the same thing his brother had. I smiled as I glanced at Jase. He was now only wearing a clean diaper, his little rolls were more than visible, and all I wanted to do was hold and kiss him. I headed that way but stopped short as my phone vibrated once again. My stomach flipped twice as I inched backward and grabbed it. It was her again. This was her third attempt. What if something was wrong? Echoes of tragedy churned in my mind. I had to answer. “Hello. Is everything okay?”
“Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to answer my call!” Her voice—a voice I hadn’t heard in well over a year—stole my breath.
“Why are you calling?” I returned her patronizing attitude, slapping it back in her face. I peered forward; an untelling expression crossed Aidan’s features, and before I knew it, he was off to the family room, leaving me privacy for my call.
“You are testing my nerves, young lady.” Her sour voice huffed. “Your father and I have set up a brunch at Gussie’s. You’ll be there. Next Sunday at eleven. You remember where it is, don’t you?”
I laughed under my breath. “Yes, and I believe you should ask and not just assume I’d meet you.” I drawled out the word assume and finished with more sarcasm behind my voice than I realized I had in me.
My mother cursed under her breath, taking me by surprise. My eyes wandered, catching Aidan’s. He mouthed the question, ‘Who is that?’ and I shook my head as I tried to concentrate on my mother babbling on about how this brunch was important and how they had many things to discuss with me. Well, news for her; I did too.
“Okay. Jesus, I’ll be there.”
“Cassandra, don’t upset me. You’re already walking a fine line. This brunch is going to determine a lot. I’d make sure to remember where you come from when you arrive.”
I shuddered at her words. “I have to go. I’ll see you then.”
There wasn’t another word. The phone went dead and my mind registered what I just agreed to. Shit! What was going to be determined? My fate? I was my own boss now. They hadn’t returned any of my phone calls. They’d left me, too.
“Please tell me that wasn’t Parker.” His hard voice broke through my panic. Aidan stood three feet in front of me sans Jase, who must have been in his swing.
The knife in my stomach turned in the opposite direction, taking my intestines with it. “No. It was my mother.” I already spoke to Parker.
He expelled what seemed like a relieved sigh. “At least it wasn’t the deadbeat, Parker. You agreed to meet her?” His jaw tensed and his features were a little confused. Unfortunately, all I felt was anxiety.
“I agreed to meet both of my parents.”
The muscles in his jaw continued to flex. “Why?”
I lifted my shoulder in a shrug. “They’re my parents. I can’t avoid them forever. She’s called a couple of times and I didn’t answer.”
“She’s been calling you?” His eyes only continued to grow wider.
“Several times. I’ve just been letting it ring. I wasn’t ready to talk, but she caught me off guard today. She called twice in a row and I didn’t know if it was an emergency.” Thoughts of my father’s heart attack last year popped into my mind.
“You said they won’t talk to you, that they practically disowned you,” he stated matter-of-factly, as if I didn’t already know. “Why would you do this to yourself? They don’t deserve to see you again.”
“I have to talk to them. I have to. For me. I have so much to say. I have so many questions. It’s not like it’s going to be sunshine and rainbows when we get together, but I hate that they won’t talk to me. It drives me to question what kind of person I am that my own parents haven’t spoken to me in over a year. I try to be strong, but they’re always in the back of my mind.”
I thought back to each time I’d tried to call them. Specifically, when I had Jase and they never returned my calls. My emotions rose to the surface and I lifted my hand, pointing my finger at Aidan. “You of all people should know how I feel!” My voice rose in anger as the last sentence
ripped from my mouth.
“I’m sorry. You’re right.” His arms caged me to his chest. “I understand. I do, and I’m sorry.”
I expelled a long breath as I let him hold me.
”When are we meeting them?”
I hastily pulled back from his chest and peered into his soft eyes. “You’re coming with me?”
He nodded. “I’m not letting you feed yourself to the wolves alone.”
“I wouldn’t let them do that to me, Aidan. I have a stronger backbone now.”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m coming with. When and where?”
“Next Sunday at eleven. We’re meeting at Gussie’s in Cherry Creek.”
His head rested against my cheek as he whispered, “I’ll be there.”
“Thank you.”
His lips spread into a wide smile before he pressed them to my forehead.
I only had today with him before I headed home tomorrow. I wanted to spend all of it with him and baby Jase. I needed it to be happy because who knew what Monday would bring? I tried to push the thought of meeting Parker again to the back of my mind, but it kept crawling and digging its way to the front. I also hated myself for lying to Aidan. My guilt traveled from my heart up to my throat where it sat, bullying me to tell Aidan what a liar I was. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I could only hope our meeting went better than last time.
Cassandra
THE COFFEE SHOP WAS bustling with patrons. I chose a two-seat table near a window. Not even the smell of coffee calmed my nerves. I kept glancing at the door to see if the next person walking through would be him, the him being Aidan. I shouldn’t have agreed to meet Parker in our coffee shop. Aidan was still in Keaton, and even Batman couldn’t save me this time.
My hands tangled together, my thigh bounced uncontrollably, and my armpits felt uncomfortably damp. Mel had Monday morning off, as usual, and watched Jase for me. I’d lied and told her—like I did Aidan—that I had a meeting with Shelly. Like a fool, she believed me. I couldn’t imagine how; my words stumbled and my voice was unsure when I told her where I was going, and my face was beet red. I knew she wanted to come with me, but I needed to do this alone.
I expelled another deep breath. I didn’t like this one bit. Half of me wasn’t sure why I agreed to this, the other half wanted a dad for Jase so badly I’d do anything to have Parker in his life.
I palmed my sore chest. I had a feeling that in a few minutes I’d have to call 9-1-1 to take me to the hospital for cardiac arrest. I rested my elbow on the light wood table and held my forehead in my hand. Breathe, Cassandra, breathe.
“Cassandra?” Parker’s monotone voice interrupted my mantra.
I jerked my head from my hand. A grim ache pitted in my belly as he came into view. “Parker.” My voice was almost non-existent as I spoke. He dragged out the chair across from me and lowered himself onto it. God, he looked like shit. Not quite the same cocky Parker I saw the last time. His hair was disheveled, his tie loosened. I wondered what was eating at him.
I placed a hand over my bouncing thigh to hold it steady. He knit his hands together on the table and drew in a long breath.
“Why did you want to—?”
He held up a finger as he interrupted me. “Let me start.”
My stomach tightened as I braced myself.
His eyes bounced all over the place and finally steadied on mine. “First of all, I’m sorry.” My jaw hit the table. Not. Expected. “Second of all, I handled things terribly.” He ran a hand through his short hair. “Can we start over?”
I believe the term is shell-shocked. I couldn’t move, speak—hell, I couldn’t even blink. I sat there frozen like a popsicle. He’s sorry. He wants to start over. I shook my head. Was he serious? Or did I just hear what I wanted to hear?
“Say something, Cassandra.”
I opened my mouth and tried to find words. Anything. And as I exhaled, they came out. “What are you saying, Parker? I don’t quite understand.”
A wry smile tugged on his lips. “I said, I’m sorry and I want to try and talk again. Start over with this baby stuff.”
I wasn’t ready to smile. He didn’t deserve a smile, but I did want to give him a do-over. I wanted a father for Jase so badly that I had to give him a second chance.
“You’re killing me here. Say something.” His voice sounded a little desperate. This definitely wasn’t the same douchebag who yelled horrid things the last time we were here.
I swallowed and willed myself to be as polite as possible. He was here and he was trying. “Okay.”
“Okay?” He raised both of his brows.
My guard slowly lowered, but I told it to stop when it got halfway down. Don’t be stupid, Cassandra. “Yes. We can try this again. No yelling.” I was stunned by my stern tone.
He shook his head and released a breath of relief. “No yelling. Thank you for this.”
I huffed. “You don’t deserve it.”
He blinked as if he were shocked with my firm voice as well. “So, what’s he like?”
“Jase?” I asked, making sure he understood his name.
“That’s his name?” He sounded uncomfortable saying it.
Stab number one.
“Yes, it’s Jase.” A smile splashed across my face. “He’s amazing. I know that’s cliché, but he is. You look at him and he just smiles. He has his fussy side, don’t get me wrong, but those moments are few and far between. I just want him to know he’s loved.” His lips moved to the side in a sort of uncomfortable smile. “C-can I meet him?” My mouth opened, as I stared at him. “I know it’s sudden, but . . .” Parker stared off into the distance. He was being slightly fishy. I didn’t like it.
“Are you sure you want to meet him? Don’t do this to him or me if you really don’t mean it, Parker.”
His focus returned, but he still looked distant. Did someone put him up to this? “Let’s meet. I’ll call you and we can set up a time. Can we can meet at Wash Park?”
My stomach felt weird, uneasy. I couldn’t believe I was about to agree to this. “Okay.”
He relaxed in his seat. “Thanks for talking. I know things went badly last time.”
”Parker, you were an asshole.”
“I was in shock.” His face turned disgusted and there he was—the Parker from last time. I knew he wasn’t far away. Stab number two. He only had one left before I turned and never looked back.
“You don’t think I was in shock when I found out I was pregnant?” I asked through gritted teeth.
“You kept this from me for a whole fu—” He shook his head. “A year. A whole year, Cassandra.”
We weren’t getting anywhere at this rate. I looked to the side and took a few breaths, trying to regroup. I caught sight of a pair of faded jeans approaching the table. I scanned them, running my eyes from the slightly familiar looking jeans to the button up shirt and Oh, no! My chest panicked. My heart rate went from normal to rapid in two seconds as my eyes reached Aidan’s confused and shocked face. What in the hell was he doing here?
His eyes narrowed. The dark pupils that took over his angry eyes flickered between Parker and me, finally pausing on mine. “What are you doing with this asshole?” His hands balled into fists by his sides. My chest rose and fell rapidly, matching the erratic heart that beat against my ribcage. He was furious, irate even. His eyebrows knit together as he stood tall next to our table. My stomach dropped to the floor as he continued to transform into an enraged person.
“Excuse me?” Parker popped a brow at Aidan.
“Parker, stop.” I shot my eyes in his direction, warning him. Now was not the time. The tension was already thick enough. “Aidan, can we talk in private, please?” I kept my voice low; others around us were already staring. I didn’t want a show today.
Aidan barely nodded.
I swallowed, willing the lump in my throat to go away as I held up a finger to Parker. I hesitantly grabbed Aidan by his stiff arm. Once we were outside and away from the doorway,
we stopped. He retracted his arm from my hold and faced me. I suddenly felt like a child.
“What the fuck are you doing with that asshole, Cassie?” I shuddered at his harsh tone. He crossed his arms as he stared me down.
My hands gripped my arms, protecting my chest like a shield. “He asked me to meet him again,” I muttered. I wanted to be strong, but I felt so weak in front of his disapproving face.
“And you didn’t tell me?”
I shook my head. My voice only continued to grow weaker. ”He felt bad for the way he left things. He apologized for what he said and did. H-he wants to meet Jase.”
“What?” Aidan’s eyes grew wide in disbelief. He rubbed his temple as he shifted in his spot. “Let me get this straight. First, you lied and told me you were working today. Second, you’re going to rekindle things with the guy who didn’t give two shits about you or the baby and told you to never contact him again because he didn’t believe you? And third, you’re going to let him meet Jase?” His pupils darkened as he stared me down.
Tears slipped from the corners of my eyes. “Stop! It’s not like that.” It sounded bad. I knew it did. But he wasn’t in my shoes.
He raked a hand through his hair, tugging the ends of it before dropping his hand to his side. “Unbelievable, Cassandra.”
He used my full name. A chunk of my heart fell to my feet, breaking into pieces around us. Wetness fell down my cheeks. I threw my hands in the air. “What do you want me to say, Aidan?”
“I want you to realize that Jase has a family. That he has you, Moose, Mel, my mom and dad, and, for Christ’s sake, me in his life.”
“How can you say that? You all mean the world to me, but Parker—he’s Jase’s father.”
His eyes closed as I said the word father like I’d just fucking crushed his soul.
“God, Cassandra. That disgusting asshole sitting in there doesn’t deserve to be that little guy’s father. He lost that chance.”
