by Moly E. Lee
A small gasp to my left indicated I wasn’t talking to myself, so that was a bonus. “Are you here?” I asked, reaching out in the darkness my eyes couldn’t penetrate.
Katy made a sound I couldn’t make out, but after a few seconds of walking timidly with my arms outstretched, I connected with her hand.
“There you are,” I said, entwining our fingers and pulling her closer to me. My heart raced faster than I thought possible as her body came flush with mine. My nerves were on fire, but there was something incredibly comforting about wrapping my arms around her waist, as if I’d done it a million times before.
Slowly I brought my hands upward, until I found her face and cupped her cheeks. Part of me wished I had at least a little light to work with, but there was something freeing about being plunged in darkness for our first kiss.
I traced her bottom lip with my thumb, her quickened breaths only fueling the fire in my blood. Inching my lips down, I tentatively pressed them against hers.
My heart jolted in my chest, an unexplainable familiarity shocking my core. I froze for all of two seconds before completely ignoring anything outside of the sensation of her mouth opening willingly for me.
Slipping my tongue past her lips, I stroked her until she gasped. I gripped her hips, her jeans rough under my fingers as I brought our bodies flush.
Wasn’t she wearing a skirt earlier? Did I miss her putting on jeans after the pool?
Not caring, I walked backward, tugging her along until the backs of my knees hit the bed. I sank onto it, bringing her with me without breaking our kiss. I had fantasized about this before, how she’d feel against me, how she’d taste, and if we’d be good together, but the reality was nothing compared to the fantasy.
We were perfect together. It was like we’d been kissing for years and had mastered every single hot spot the other had. Case in point, she raked her nails lightly over my scalp, fisting my hair as she nibbled on my bottom lip. A low groan rumbled from my chest in response as I ran my hands up and down her thighs, which she situated on either side of my hips.
I slipped my fingers underneath the hem of her shirt, reveling in the warmth of her skin and how the silkiness of it ignited sparks underneath my own. For the briefest of seconds, I wondered how she could possibly feel this amazing, this familiar, and smell so fucking good…a floral scent—
I froze, slowing down the frantic kiss.
I knew this scent.
I cupped her cheeks in the darkness, once again running my fingers over her lips.
I knew those lips.
Another jolt to my heart and realization sunk into my brain.
She didn’t say a word as my hands roamed over her body, needing physical confirmation for what my heart already knew.
Braylen. Her name was on the tip of my tongue—which currently battled the urge to return to what it’d been doing sixty-seconds ago—but a voice in the hallway stopped me.
“Fynn?” Katy called. “Are you up here?” The click of her heels sounded a few seconds before the faint glow of her cell phone illuminated the doorframe.
Braylen flew off me before I could say a word.
Chapter Thirteen
Braylen
“Fuck,” I whispered, hearing Katy’s heels way too close to the door. I fumbled in my head for all of one second before I dove under the massive bed, the only viable hiding place within the limited eyesight I had.
Army crawling until I was as far under it as I could be, I clenched my eyes shut and tried not to breathe.
“Sorry I’m late.” Katy giggled at Fynn.
“It’s f-fine,” Fynn answered, and the tone of his voice was nearly as jarring as Katy’s surprise entry.
My heart seized its rapid thumping for all of ten seconds, and I had to cover my mouth to stop from gasping. When he’d stumbled into the room, I had thought Randy’s plan had worked. Fynn had pulled me to him, silencing my words with his kiss before I had a chance to speak.
The super recent memory of every hard inch of him pressed against the soft curves of my body and how I’d melted into the touch, unable to deny how effin’ delicious he felt against me, flashed in a new perspective in my head. When he’d kissed me, touched me…I thought it was because he knew. Because he wanted it.
He’d thought I was her. The whole time.
Is it possible to die of mortification? Because I felt pretty damned close.
I had only dove under the bed out of sheer panic, not because I believed Fynn thought I was Katy. I didn’t want her to see me as a boy-stealing thief like all those years ago. Though, in fairness, Fynn wasn’t attached to anyone, which only made the knife in my heart twist harder.
“I said the master bedroom. This isn’t it.” Katy’s heels clicked away from the bed and I heard the door latch shut.
Fuck. My. Life.
How the hell did I get here?
“It was dark,” Fynn said.
Sweat popped from my brow, the heat from Fynn’s kiss still sizzling in my blood, which was now paired with utter embarrassment. It coated my entire body. He had to know I was still in the room somewhere. Couldn’t he do me a solid and give me a chance to escape?
“Good thing, too,” Katy said, her voice growing louder as she clicked back toward the bed.
“Look, Katy—” Fynn’s words stopped abruptly and the bed jolted above me.
My mouth dropped but I managed to keep a shocked gasp inside.
“No, wait!” Fynn snapped, and I managed to breathe a sigh of relief. “Katy, we can’t…” His voice trailed off as Katy’s heels clicked backward away from Fynn’s Chucks.
“It’s Braylen, isn’t it?” She didn’t sound bitter about it, not entirely, and I once again was given whiplash over who Katy was—nice girl or popular princess? Maybe she was a little bit of both. Either way, I didn’t care. I just wanted to get out of there.
“What?” He snapped like it was downright shocking she’d even suggest such a thing.
“It’s pretty obvious you have feelings for her.” Katy sighed. “I can see it when the two of you are together.”
“No,” Fynn said. “It’s never been like that between us.”
He may as well have driven an icepick straight into my heart.
The final blow. One good swing with a verbal sledgehammer and years of daydreams shattered in an instant. Fynn would never see me as girlfriend material—not even after sharing another mind-blowing kiss. Clearly it didn’t affect him as much as it did me.
I didn’t think my heart could shatter any more, but it did. Splintered like shards of glass all over the damn floor beneath me.
To hell with getting caught, I can’t take another minute of listening to this.
Just as one of my hands cleared the edge of the bed, the room was blasted with bright light, and I jerked back under the bed.
“Finally!” I heard Randy’s booming voice outside the door before he swung it open. “Shit, my bad,” he said quickly.
I could see him from where I lay huddled under the bed. He had one hand on the doorknob and one half over his eyes. “I was, uh, looking for Braylen?” His eyes met mine for a second as I peeked under the bed, but he played it cool, never once letting on that he’d seen me.
Katy huffed, like despite her efforts at making nice she was beyond sick of hearing about me. Couldn’t really blame her. “We were in the middle of a conversation,” she said, letting the sentence hang there like she might be suggesting that Randy leave.
Randy glared at her—or the area I assumed she was in—and moved to close the door.
Dear God, no!
“I should go find her,” Fynn said and the mattress moved above me.
“What?” Both Randy and Katy said at the same time.
“It’s not like her to go missing.” The boy was reaching but I didn’t care. Whatever it took to get everyone out of that room.
“Good idea,” Randy said. “Katy, maybe you could help me look downstairs? Fynn, you search up here.”
“Yeah, that’s good.” Fynn walked to the doorway, his eyes refusing to look down. He either knew I was there and didn’t want to get caught seeing me, or he didn’t have a clue and thought I’d somehow escaped before Katy had thrown herself at him.
“You can’t be serious, Fynn.” Katy was clearly not impressed with his heroic tendencies.
“It’ll only take a minute,” he said. “I’ll catch up with you and Randy downstairs if I don’t find her up here.”
I closed my eyes, breathing out as slowly and quietly as possible.
Yes, please for the love of everything that is holy, go!
A fast sigh followed by stomping heels became the most beautiful sound in the world as both of them filtered out of the room, Fynn shutting the door behind them.
I waited another two minutes before I risked moving. Crawling out from under the bed made me feel like a dirty little monster, and a fresh wave of tears fell down my cheeks as I stood up. Sucking in a deep breath, I smoothed my hair back and peeked out the door before bolting across the hallway and into the nearest bathroom.
I slammed the door shut, left alone to splash cold water on my face. I swiped under my eyes with some toilet paper, trying in a vain attempt to clear the smudged mascara that my tears had royally fucked up. I gave up after a few tries, sliding to the floor with my back against the door, and clenched my hands into fists to stop from crying again. I knew there was a possibility he’d reject me after I finally told him I loved him, I just never thought I would have to hear him dismiss me like he had—especially right after kissing me senseless.
A few taps behind me made me jump.
“Bray?” Fynn’s voice was almost a whisper.
I didn’t move. I couldn’t.
“Let me in.”
I shook my head against the door.
“Fine, you come out here,” he said as if he could see my resistance. After a few moments, he jiggled the locked doorknob. “I’m not leaving until we talk.”
Jerk. Can’t even give me the peace to sort my mind out alone.
I smacked my hands on the cold tile floor, pushing myself to standing before jerking the door open.
His blue eyes locked with mine, the confusion and pain in them making him look like he hadn’t slept in a week.
I raised my eyebrows at him, completely at a loss as to what to say.
“What happened in there?” he asked, his voice low.
I tilted my head, glaring at him. “What happened in there? Really?”
“Yeah.” He pleaded with his eyes, looking as lost as if I’d spoken a foreign language. “What’s going on, Bray?”
I scoffed at him. “Let me break it down for you,” I snapped, too pissed to care anymore. “You made out with me two whole minutes before you informed Katy that you and I have never, and will never, be anything. And I was forced to listen to it!”
“What? I didn’t say that.” He shook his head and clenched his eyes shut. “I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t.” I cut him off, sniffling in an effort to stop more tears from coming.
“I just…who were you waiting for in the dark, Bray?” He rubbed his palms over his face. “Was it Randy?”
I tilted my head at him. “You’re smarter than this, Fynn.”
“Apparently I’m not, because I don’t have a clue what has been going on with you all night.”
“Can you really not figure it out?”
“Tell me.” He stepped closer, his tone soft, unsure.
I laughed a strained laugh. When it came to Fynn, nothing would ever go as planned. Butterflies flapped in my stomach, mixing with all the other emotions that were overflowing my system. I closed my eyes and took a steadying breath.
I’d already been humiliated and heartbroken tonight…what was one more thing? Zoey would be so proud of me for the bomb I was about to drop.
When I opened my eyes again, Fynn was leaning against the doorframe with only a breath of space between us, his blue eyes locked on mine.
“I love you,” I said. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, Fynn. And I never wanted to tell you before because I didn’t want to lose you as a friend. Didn’t want to ruin what we had. Because I was terrified of what you might say.” The words spilled out of me faster than I expected. I shrugged, smacking my hands against my thighs, studying his face that seemed to have turned to stone. “You’re the one I was talking about by the lake. And I want you to choose me over her. Even though I know she’s prettier, and more popular, and has had your attention in all the ways I haven’t for years. I want to be your choice, Fynn.”
Another ten seconds passed. He hadn’t blinked.
“Say something?” I asked, practically begging him to acknowledge my confession that had been years coming.
“Braylen…” He pushed off the doorframe and I couldn’t tell if he was about to smile or scream or puke. The clicking of heels made him clench his eyes shut.
“Fynn found her!” Katy shouted over her shoulder, a flicker of genuine concern coloring her features. A few seconds later Randy came barreling behind her like he’d been trying to stop her from coming back up here. He was too good a friend to me.
“You good?” he asked, his eyes searching my clearly tear-stained face.
“Not feeling well,” I answered Randy.
“Maybe you should go home,” Katy said, wrapping her arm around Fynn’s. “Randy, you can take her right? It’s always good to sleep it off when you drink too much.”
I couldn’t tell if she was being serious, and genuinely didn’t want me to spend the night puking in the bathroom—since she thought that was the cause of all my ailments—or if she was making some passive aggressive claim on Fynn. And why shouldn’t she?
“We need a minute,” Fynn said.
“No,” I said, eyeing the way Katy’s hand still rested on his arm. “We’re done.” He hadn’t bothered pushing her off, and I was beyond done making a fool of myself. I rolled my eyes, stepping out of the bathroom doorway and past the two of them.
“I haven’t drunk enough,” I said, not sparing a glance back at Fynn.
“You sure?” Randy asked, following on my heels as I made my way to the stairs.
I stopped with my hand on the railing, finally looking back at Fynn, who was still a statue with the gorgeous Katy—the girl of his dreams—hanging on his side.
“Yep,” I said, tapping the iron stair railing. “Lots of drinks. That’ll make everything better.” I broke my gaze with Fynn to look Randy in the eye. “Then you can take me home.”
I started down the steps as Randy hung back.
“Braylen!” Fynn shouted, and I slowed my pace but didn’t look back. I continued down the steps, telling the pieces of my broken heart to stop crying for the boy who’d just shattered it.
Chapter Fourteen
Fynn
“Braylen!” I yelled down the stairs again. I left Katy behind in the hallway, trying to go after Bray so we could hash this out. Randy’s big-ass chest stopped me.
“No way, bro,” he said. “You blew it.”
“What?” I snapped, and moved to get around him. He stopped me with a shove that wasn’t threatening, just annoying.
“Give her a minute,” he said, like he knew Bray better than me. “You owe her that much after—”
“She’ll be fine.” Katy grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at her. “It happens to everyone, and we definitely don’t want her throwing up all night in Lennon’s upstairs bathroom. Even if school is out, people are ruthless when they catch you like that. And Randy is a good guy.” She eyed him. “You’ll take care of her, right?”
Randy shook his head, ignoring Katy.
“Come on,” she said, tugging on my arm. “Let’s talk in there.” She pulled us toward the same room I’d just kissed Braylen in…and barely stopped Katy from kissing me.
God, I am every kind of asshole I swore I’d never be.
Randy turned to go down the stairs, sparing me
a glance over his shoulder. “Looks like you’re getting everything you ever wanted,” he scoffed before disappearing down the stairs.
I blinked a few times, wishing I could clear my mind as easily as my eyes. She yanked me down on the bed, sitting next to me with her feet tucked beneath her. “You really are a great friend, aren’t you?”
I chuckled. I was the absolute worst friend. I thought I knew everything about Braylen—what song she couldn’t help but dance to, which one made her cry, her favorite book, the way she looked after a long night, or the way her eyes lit up whenever she smelled pancakes…which she always demanded I make Yoda-shaped.
In reality I didn’t know her at all…
Because I had no clue she felt the way she did.
How could I miss that?
I went backward in time, rewinding nights we’d spent together, me crashing on her bed and waking up accidentally tangled together from sleeping so hard—I never slept as good as I did when I snuck over to her place for the night…because we were on deadline or because of a Walking Dead marathon or because her dad was going through another divorce and she just simply needed me there.
I thought back to the times she’d been there for me when I didn’t deserve it—like freshman year when I’d gone off on my mom for taking my car away for a week because my math grade had dipped to a B-. Or the times she was there when I’d needed her most, like when I lost my grandmother and Braylen had made me a batch of Grandma’s famous cookies, the exact recipe she’d taught Braylen and helped her perfect in my kitchen the summer of seventh grade.
“What’s on your mind?” Katy’s voice interrupted my time-warp and I rested my elbows on my knees, rubbing my palms over my face.
A clicking on the wood sounded outside the door, followed by a sniffing sound until Hendrix showed himself. I smiled at the dog, reaching out to him as he ran up to me.
“Hey, boy,” I said, silently thanking him for his perfect timing. I didn’t know how to answer Katy’s question. Hell, I didn’t know how to talk to her. Not now, not after Braylen. Everything I’d worked for had led me to this moment with Katy, and now? I didn’t think I wanted it anymore. I wanted someone else—someone that excited me, soothed me, challenged me…knew me.
