by Thomas Hall
THE SOUND IS LIKE WOOD CRACKING ON A fire. It seems distant and unreal, as if my soul has already given up on living and departed this world.
The hands that have pulled me to the ground let go. I don’t try to move.
Something falls on the ground beside me and I turn to look. One of the Infected stares back at me, a man with long hair and top lip pulled back to reveal oversized teeth. He stares at me with dead eyes.
I jerk away but then see the bullet hole through the middle of his head. A clean shot with no blood oozing from it. He isn’t going to hurt me.
For a moment I lay there staring at the dead body and don’t consider what it means. I hear more bodies falling around me, but that doesn’t mean anything either. I am too numb to make the connection, too sure that my own death is coming.
It is not until I roll onto my back and see the sky, that I realise the situation has changed. The Infected are on the ground with me, laying still and breathless.
A voice calls out in German.
I look up but I don’t move.
If it is the soldiers then they might take me for one of the dead and leave. If it is someone else then I don’t want to know them either. Whoever is there, whoever has enough weaponry to kill this many; I don’t want to know them.
More talking in German.
I wait.
A figure appears above me. They hide behind camouflaged armour so I can’t tell whether it is a man or a woman. They look at me through polarised goggles so I can’t even see their eyes.
They say something that the mask and foreign language obscure.
When it is clear that I don’t understand they try again. This time in a different language.
I stare at the black semi-automatic weapon by their side. It looks cold and deadly. Will they would shoot me or if they have orders to take me away to do something worse.
I have to get away. Either to join Harriet, Michelle and Cassie, or to rescue them.
I look up at the soldier and see myself reflected in the black goggles. They speak to me in accented English. “Are you injured?”
I shake my head. I don’t want a conversation with this person. I don’t want to think of them as human. But I do need a little more time to gather my strength. I do need to prepare myself for what I am about to do.
“Can you stand up?” they say.
I nod. “Give me a minute.”
“There isn’t time,” they say. “They’re swarming on the area.”
I hope they are talking about the Infected and a ‘swarm’ doesn’t sound like a good thing. I imagine thousands of them, all coming here for... what?
The soldier leans over and grabs my arm. With casual strength they lift me to my feet and then I take a chance. Once I have my balance I push them hard in the chest and feel nothing but armour plating. They don’t even move.
“You don’t want to do this,” the soldier says. They sound like a space man.
I nod, defeated. All my strength didn’t move the soldier an inch. I can’t even tell whether they are human.
“Come on,” the soldier says. “There isn’t much time.”
They lead me through a sea of dead Infected towards a cluster of parked SUV’s. There are soldiers standing in front of them with their guns drawn and faces covered.
The soldier leading me shouts something in German and one of the other soldiers responds in the same. We change course and I am led towards the rear vehicle.
At the last minute I panic. I turn to the soldier. “My friends,” I say. “My daughter...”
“It’s okay,” the soldier says. They open the back door of the vehicle. “Get inside.”
I duck down as the soldier pushes me forwards, giving me no choice but to get inside. It is dark and cool and very empty.
A plexiglass partition separates me from the driver and front passenger. It is shaded like the goggles so I can’t even see who is in charge of the vehicle. I hear the doors open and close and then the engine turns over.
In a mild panic I turn towards the doors and see that there are no handles, no way to open them. The windows are tinted so that it looks as if the sun has set already. The vehicle starts to move and I am thrown back into the seat. Instinctively, I reach for a seat belt and buckle myself in. I am trapped.
CHAPTER 15
THE JOURNEY TAKES MORE THAN AN HOUR, BUT less than two. We The vehicle slows to a crawl and enters a walled compound through a series of gates.
A soldier walks towards us. She is wearing armour, but no mask. She stops and the driver opens the window. I hear hundreds, thousands of voices. The driver and the soldier speak to one another and then she nods, steps back and the car moves forwards.
The procedure is the same at the next three gates.
Once we are through the final gate we pick up some speed. I unstrap myself and press my face against the window, looking at where we are.
There are tents everywhere. Some of them stretch far and wide. Some of them are tall. There looks to be a system of roads and streets in place and there are so many people.
We drive along and people wave at the vehicle. They don’t look frightened, they don’t look victimised. Most of them don’t even look like soldiers.
We don’t stop again until we reach a brick building. It has a large hand painted sign on the wall reading Bundesamt für Migration und Flüchtlinge.
There are three other vehicles parked in front of the building.
The car stops.
The door opens and a man stands in front of me. His black cheeks are peeling and his eyes are pale. He speaks to me in English. “Out of the car please.”
I climb out of the car and realise how much I ache. My body feels as if it is one giant cramp.
The soldier sees my discomfort. He takes my arm and helps me down the step. Once I am back on solid ground he gives me a moment to recover and then leads me towards the building.
The doors slide open as we near them.
“Keep moving,” the soldier behind me says. He shoves me hard and I stumble into a long grey corridor.
We pass doors but I don’t see any people.
The soldier in front of me stops. He unlocks a door with a key which attached to his hip by a piece of thick wire. He stands aside and nods to me. The soldier behind pushes me forwards and I have no choice but to go into the room.
“What am I supposed to do now?” I say.
“Someone will be along to process you soon.”
“What about my--“
He slams the door in my face before I am able to finish.
I continue to stare at the door for a little while, I’m not sure how long. It is solid metal and there is no key hole in this side. In the middle there is a sliding panel which I would be able to open if I was outside. There is a bench in the room and not much else.
I don’t know what I am supposed to do if I need to use the toilet because they haven’t even provided me with a bucket. A small window is set high in the wall. Even if I could reach, it is too small for me to climb through.
I sit on the bench. It is narrow and uncomfortable. I lay down but that isn’t much better. It can’t be too bad though, because the next thing I know I’m woken by the sound of the door opening.
“On your feet!” a man says.
I climb off the bench and stand up.
A heavy set man stands at the door. “Don’t try anything funny,” he says.
I nod.
He is holding a tray of food and keeps watching me as he bends to place it on the floor. Then he stands and uses the toe of his boot to slide it towards me. Then, without taking his eyes off me, he stands up again and leaves.
I walk over to the tray, which takes less than two steps. I bend down and look at the food that he has brought. Brown slop, an energy bar and a bottle of water.
It doesn’t occur to me to refuse to eat. I have spent long enough in the wild to know that you don’t turn down free food. I pick up the tray, carry it back to the bench and sit dow
n to eat.
The next person to come to the door is a slight asian woman. She is wearing a grey skirt and white blouse.
“Would you like to come with me Evan?” she says.
I nod and she gestures for me to follow her.
There are two soldiers in the corridor. One leads the way, the other follows behind us. If I had any thoughts of overpowering the woman, the two men would be enough to put me off.
“Are you okay with the stairs?” she says.
I nod.
The second floor of the building is different to the first. The rooms have windows and the doors look like something I could break through if I had the opportunity. Past the corridor there is a large open space with more desks and even a few people sitting at them. They watch us as we pass, but don’t say anything.
The asian woman leads me to a room where there is a desk and several chairs.
“Take a seat Evan,” she says. Then she turns to the soldiers. “We’ll be okay now.”
“We’ll be outside,” one of the soldiers says.
“There’s no need.”
“We’ve got orders,” the same soldier says.
“Suit yourself,” the woman says.
The two men take their position on either side of the door. The woman closes it and sits down on the other side of the desk.
“My name’s Suzy Kim,” she says.
I nod.
“You’ve caused us a lot of trouble,” she says.
I fight the urge to apologize to her. Instead I focus on how irritating it is to hear her say that. If we were so much trouble why didn’t they leave us alone?
“But you’re here now. That’s the important thing.” Suzy Kim smiles but I refuse to smile back. “Have you got anything you would like to say? Anything you want to ask?”
I want Harriet back, but I don’t know whether they know about her. I don’t want to give them information that will allow them to go hunting for my family.
“Well, in that case, let me tell you a few things. We are The People’s Army,” she says. “That means that we aren’t soldiers.”
“Could have fooled me,” I say, before I can stop myself.
She smiles. “I understand the confusion Evan, but please believe me when I say we don’t mean you any harm. We aren’t soldiers.”
I say nothing.
“We started off as a small group, fewer than a hundred people. There was no plan. Nothing mattered except survival and in the early days that meant food and water. You understand what that’s like, don’t you?”
I refuse to play her games.
“We found the army base abandoned. We came in and made ourselves at home. Over the next few weeks more people came. Some time after that we started looking for other survivors.”
“Of course you did,” I say.
She smiles kindly, but I remind myself that it is a trick.
“You’ve had run ins with the military I assume?” she says.
I shrug.
“I understand that you’re cautious Evan.”
“You brought me here against my will and then you locked me up. Of course I’m cautious.”
“You’ve misunderstood what happened,” she says.
“Right.”
“No one kidnapped you Evan, we rescued you. The Infected were about to kill you.”
“So you’re answer was to stick me in a little room and not tell me what was going on?”
“We quarantined you,” she says. “We had to be sure that you weren’t bitten, that there was no chance of you bringing the infection into camp. As soon as we were sure that you didn’t pose a threat, I came to get you.”
I cross my arms and look to the side of her head.
“We want to help you Evan,” she says.
The worst part is that I want to believe this.
“We’re making arrangements for a tent to be set up,” she says. “In the meantime, would you like to see Harriet?”
My heart freezes. I am no longer aware of my own body.
“She’s with her mother and your friend” Suzy Kim says.
“Where are they?” I say. My mouth is dry.
“Would you like me to take you to them?” she says.
I nod.
She smiles and stands up. Now she has a clipboard in her arm. “It’s this way then.”
I follow Suzy Kim out the office. The guard is still standing there. He follows us back to the corridor and then up the stairs.
We walk up to the third floor. As soon as the door opens I hear a child crying and its mother comforting it. People stand in the corridor and watch us. They don’t look like prisoners.
Suzy Kim whistles as we walk. I want to tell her to shut up because the noise is making it impossible for me to think. I am not even sure what I should be thinking about. But there’s something.
“Here we are,” Suzy Kim says. She knocks on the door.
“Who is it?” says Michelle. She sounds angry and I that pleases me a great deal.
“It’s Suzy Kim. I have someone here who would like to see you.”
“Go fuck yourself,” Michelle says.
I smile. “Michelle, it’s me.”
The door opens a crack. I see her looking out at me and then she throws the door wide open. Before I can stop her, Michelle has thrown her arms around me and I am supporting her full weight.
“I thought you were dead!” she says.
I hold her.
She holds me.
I don’t know how long we stand there for before Suzy interrupts us with a cough. “Can we come in?” she says.
Michelle lets go of me and nods. We follow her inside.
Harriet and Cassie are there.
Suzy Kim sits down in an old brown armchair. The soldier stands by the door. The rest of us stand in front of her and wait to see what she has to say.
“You understand that this accommodation is temporary,” she says. “As soon as a tent is available we’ll move you into it.”
“Then what?” Michelle says.
The question seems to catch Suzy Kim off guard. “Excuse me?”
“What happens once we’ve moved in? What do we do then?”
“There’s lot’s of work that needs doing,” Suzy Kim says. “You might want to volunteer to go out in the field. Or work in the kitchen. Or one of the many construction projects.”
Michelle nods while she says it. “And what if we want to leave?”
“Leave? Why on Earth would you want to do that?”
“We could have somewhere to go.”
“Do you?” Suzy Kim says.
We do not. In fact, if everything that we are being told is true, then this place might save our lives. But I am with Michelle on this: I won’t be comfortable anywhere I’m not permitted to leave.
“Will we be able to go if we decide that’s what we want?” Michelle says.
“I suppose so,” Suzy Kim says.
“You don’t sound very sure,” Michelle says. “Should we speak to your boss?”
“My boss? I’m not sure you understand how things work around here,” she says. “I don’t have a boss. I volunteer to welcome people who have arrived under difficult circumstances. No one here has a boss.”
I glance at Michelle but if there is any meaning in the gesture she gives me, I don’t pick up on it.
“But to answer your question, yes, if you decided that you would rather not be here, then of course you can leave.” Suzy Kim stands up and brushes down her skirt. “I’ll leave you to get settled in. You know where the facilities are?”
“We know,” Michelle says.
Suzy Kim offers us all a final smile and then turns and leaves. I count to ten after I hear the door close behind her and then finally allow myself to relax into the loving arms of my family.
CHAPTER 16
THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE IS OVERWHELMING. IT IS the first time since the evacuation that I’ve see so many people in one place. They all seem busy, but it isn’t altogether clear
what they are doing. I watch a few of them, but I can’t work it out.
We move on before I have a chance to see more.
“This is the main road,” Suzy Kim says. “It runs right through the middle of the camp from the North Gate to the South. There’s a lot of traffic during the day but after dark we have a no vehicle policy.”
I nod as a jeep races past. I am glad that Harriet is too old to want to run around playing. The road seems like a death trap.
“If you ever decide to leave us, you can follow the road in either direction and it will lead to the exit.” She laughs.
We walk along the side of the road. It is compact dirt and there are uneven sections where puddles have formed.
A little more walking brings us to a large tent. Large as in huge. Huge as in the kind of place they hold music festivals in.
“This is the cafeteria,” Suzy Kim says.
Half of the sides are open meaning that I can look in. It is too dark to see anything, but I can smell food cooking.
“It’s open from dawn until dusk. You’ll get all your meals here.”
The next stop is the bathroom facilities. More tents, but a bit nicer than those you’d find at a festival.
After the bathroom facilities Suzy offers to take us to the military zone. She says that we can’t get too close, but as we showed an interest in it after our arrival, we can look. I see Michelle itching to go, but I have already exposed my daughter to enough violence in the last few weeks. If we are staying here for the duration, then I would prefer her not to think of it as an army barracks.
We beg off the tour of the military zone but make a point of saying that we’d like to see it later.
Suzy Kim offers to take us back to the cafeteria. We accept and ten minutes later we are standing in a queue with plastic trays like we’re in prison.
“What do you think?” Michelle whispers to me.
“It seems too good to be true,” I say.
“That’s exactly what I think,” she says.
We get our food and find a place on one of the long tables. The other people there pay us no attention, but I study them. Just because they don’t realise they are prisoners however, doesn’t mean they aren’t. Would be happier if I chose to believe that I’m a free man?
