She grinned and rose up on her tippy-toes to plant a kiss on my lips. “I won’t last that long either, though it does help knowing you will be just as miserable.”
I groaned. The woman was going to be the death of me.
We got in the Jeep and drove mostly in silence. I held her hand, not ready to let her go. When we pulled up to the lot closest to her house, I parked.
“Promise you’ll call me tonight when you’re settled. I know Tessa will drill you hard before then and I get you need time with your sisters, too, but call me before bed, regardless of how late it is.”
“I will. I promise.” She looked out the window sadly, then, sighing, she leaned over and chanced one last kiss before leaving the Jeep. At the edge of the woods and the path that led to her house, she turned and waved before disappearing.
The moment Jenna was out of sight I felt an emptiness that I hadn’t expected. My chest ached at her loss. “Pull it together, Westin,” I scolded myself aloud. “She’s been gone less than a minute.”
Still, I knew that even that short of time was too much. How was I going to survive most of the week? I was already counting down the seconds until calculus class when I could see her again.
I parked the Jeep in my usual spot as close to the house as possible and walked the short distance. Opening the door and entering, I saw some of the guys were strewn out across the living room couches playing Call of Duty. I didn’t see Matt, and felt bad for being grateful for it. I knew he’d be the one to make a big deal of my disappearance.
“Hey, Chase is back. Missed you this weekend, man. Epic party with the panthers!” Damon said.
I just nodded and quickly headed for my room. Opening and closing the door behind me, I moved to collapse on my bed when I heard rustling to my right.
“What the hell?” I yelled, seeing a chubby new kid on my roommate’s bed quickly shoving bags of chips into the nightstand drawer.
“Hey,” he said when the drawer was closed, though he kept looking at it and then back at me like he thought I’d make a move for his chips or something. “You must be Chase. I’m Chad. I just transferred here. I’m your new little brother. We’re going to be roommates!”
Jenna
Chapter 16
I was struggling to keep the smile off my face even though nerves were fluttering in my stomach as I approached the house. I had this vision of being ambushed and questioned the second I walked in. Could I keep it to myself?
Bonding with Chase made me feel like an entirely different person. Still me, just more. I was stronger, more alive and confident than ever. Would they notice? Did it show on the outside as much as that change felt on the inside?
My heart was pounding in my chest as I reached the front door and slowly turned the knob to enter. To my relief, or maybe even a little disappointment, no one was around in the main living areas. Realizing I could just slip into my room undetected, I quickly made my way down the hall. As I opened my bedroom door I was grateful I didn’t have to deal with it all just yet.
I had taken a shower that morning, but Chase and I had made love three times since then and I was certain to be covered in his scent. I didn’t want to wash his scent off, but I knew it was the prudent thing to do. I threw my backpack on the bed and started to head for the bathroom.
“Where have you been, Jenna? I’ve been worried sick.” Tessa said as I screamed. I hadn’t seen her sitting at my desk when I walked in. My heart was suddenly pounding even harder in my chest than it was before I entered the house. I didn’t know that was even possible.
“Tessa, you scared me half to death!”
She looked slightly remorseful, but she still radiated irritation.
“It’s not like you to just disappear like that. You’re supposed to be the responsible one here.”
I snorted. “Me? The responsible one? Tessa, no one cares what I’m doing. I’m not up to something devious or bad. I just wanted to get away from this place for a few days. And look, I’m really tired, I still have some homework to finish up and I desperately want a hot shower first.”
She crinkled her nose as I passed. “You do need a shower, but we will be talking about this more. Daddy is video calling at six. Please don’t miss it. You’ve been skipping them a lot lately. He always worries about you so much. And truthfully, Jen, I like it here. I don’t want him relocating us again if he feels he can’t trust you. Don’t worry, I won’t say a thing about this weekend. Next time you want to just go off by yourself, please just at least tell me first. I really do worry about you.”
As Tessa exited my room it dawned on me that my sister assumed I had been alone all weekend. She had not even thought to question that. I had always been a loner and needed my downtime to recover in solitude. Maybe getting away with Chase on the weekends wouldn’t be that hard. I’d just let Tessa know I needed some alone time.
I quickly showered, feeling refreshed. As I dried off I noticed a few faint bruises on the inside of my thighs. My muscles ached, but the heated water had helped. I knew I was coming down from my Chase Westin high and I realized I was sore all over. I had gotten the workout of my life and knew I’d be paying for it over the next few days, but I couldn’t help but smile back at the memories we’d created. Yeah, it was worth it. He was worth it.
Chase’s optimism about our future was contagious. For now, he was going to remain my little secret, yet a part of me wanted to scream from the rooftops, “Chase is my mate, so back off, ladies!”
I glanced at my clock as I dressed. Five thirty. I didn’t have long before Daddy would be calling in. I grabbed my backpack and pulled my books out to get to work. By the time Tessa knocked on my door I was feeling back to my normal self and two questions away from finishing the last of my calculus assignment.
“Hey, is it time?” I asked.
“Yeah. Can we take it in here?” she asked. “My room’s a mess and I don’t want to hear about it.”
I laughed. “Sure.”
Relieved, she settled onto my bed with her back against the wall and her feet dangling over the edge. I finished the question I was working on before joining her. Her laptop sat on her lap with the program already open and waiting. She placed her head on my shoulder and sighed.
“How’re your classes going?” she asked me.
“Mostly fine. Calculus is a little tougher than I had expected, but I’m managing. I absolutely adore my photography class and graphic design. I know I shouldn’t. It’s not in the plan.” I rolled my eyes above her head. “But I really love them.”
“Daddy’s wrong on that, you know. I’m happy you found something you love. I’ll admit, I was pretty upset when he forced me to uproot and follow you here. All the girls were, actually.”
“Tess, I never asked—”
She cut me off. “I know. We all know. We may be identical, but Daddy’s always been more worried about you. He’s always watched you closer, made certain you had more security. You never ask for anything, so when you asked for this, it wasn’t a surprise he granted it. I’ve acted out for years trying to get his attention, but it’s always been you he pays the most attention to. ‘Tessa, watch after Jenna. Keep her away from boys, especially those lions. Remember, she’s your charge,’ he had said, before we left to come here. He checks in every week to see how you’re doing. I’ll admit, sometimes I’m resentful about it, but mostly I just feel sorry for you. I’m glad you’re taking your life into your own hands. Screw him! You live for you and be happy, Jenna.”
There were tears in my eyes and I hugged my sister close. She had no idea how much her words meant to me. I had always known they put the pressure of watching me on Tess. It had been a thing when we were little. “Tessie, watch after Jenna. You’re the big sister, it’s your duty,” anytime we went anywhere.
I had even felt sorry for her because of it. It strained our high school years and I was well aware of the resentment towards me from all the sisters over the transfer to Archibald Reynolds.
“I never asked to uproot any of you, Tessa. I’m so sorry. I know you hate the responsibility of watching out for me. And it shouldn’t be your job. I’m a grown woman capable of making rational decisions, even if they aren’t exactly as Daddy would like.” I grimaced, thinking of Chase. Would Daddy blame Tessa for allowing it to happen on her watch? I hadn’t thought about that as a possibility. I knew the consequences of my decision for me, but I hadn’t given any thought as to how they would impact her.
“It’s okay, Jenna. I am your big sister.”
I groaned. “By two minutes, Tess! Two minutes. For all we know, they could have mixed us up in the hospital or anytime afterwards and I’m really the oldest.”
We both laughed. It was true. Our parents had been terrible at telling us apart our whole lives. As two distinctive personalities evolved it was harder to mix us up, but as babies and little girls, it was a frequent occurrence.
“You are not. I am. I will always be the oldest even if you are the more mature and responsible one.” She elbowed me in the side and grinned.
The computer flashed and a phone jingle started. We both stared at each other and took a deep breath. Daddy. Tessa hit the connect button and we plastered identical fake smiles on our faces.
“Hi, Daddy,” we said in unison as our father’s face filled the screen.
“There’re my beautiful daughters.”
Edmond Lockhardt was a tall, thin man, graying with a receding hairline. He wasn’t extremely overbearing to look at, yet his eyes always held a lethal quality to them. He was observant and sharp as a whip, probably the smartest person I’d ever met. Fully grown men cowered under his scrutiny.
I had never been afraid of my father, but I was now afraid of the impact my mating Chase would bring to my family. Tessa and I had a strained relationship, largely because of our dad, but she was still my best friend.
“Jenna, I hear you switched a few classes?”
“Yes, Daddy, I did. I’m studying photography and graphic design. I love it!” I tried to infuse as much excitement as I could muster. I would not have had the courage previously, but I was still riding a bit of my Chase high, plus the nearly three thousand miles of distance helped boost my confidence.
His nose scrunched up and I fought back a hysterical laugh. I knew that was a sign of how displeased he was. It was one I rarely saw, though I had seen plenty of others shake in their boots at that same face. It both terrified and elated me. I was going to piss my father off when he found out what I’d done, just knowing that had a weird sort of freeing elation. I didn’t have to please him any longer.
“Well,” he finally said. “I suppose it could be worse. I assume you’re doing okay in your ‘real’ classes too?” He put major emphasis on the word “real” that had me cringing.
“Yes, Daddy, I’m doing well in all my classes.” I couldn’t help but emphasis “all” in the same manner. Tessa shot me a glare with questioning eyes, wondering what I was doing and begging me to shut up.
“How about you, Tessie?” Daddy had always called her Tessie. I knew she hated it, said it made her sound like a little girl.
“I’m doing surprisingly well in all my classes too, Daddy,” she confessed.
I realized she hadn’t once asked me to cover for her or do any of her assignments since we started the semester. I had been so wrapped up in my own drama that I hadn’t even realized that I had missed hers.
Fortunately, Daddy was interrupted and had to end the call early. He told us he loved us and hung up. We both stared at the screen in silence. I got the feeling Tessa felt as relieved as I had that the call had ended. I think we both got off the hook a little easier than expected.
“I can’t believe you told him about the new classes and how much you enjoy them. Way to go, Jenna,” my twin said proudly.
A warmth started low in my stomach. A very different warmth than Chase usually invoked. I tried not to blush even thinking it. This one spread and filled me with pride.
“And you,” I added, trying to quickly change the subject, “you’re actually going to class and keeping up okay? You haven’t once asked me for help here.”
She blushed. “There’s a really cute TA in my history class who is tutoring me. I don’t know. He’s different, Jen. I don’t want to be the normal dumb rich girl around him, so I’m actually trying.” She laughed. “Who’d have thought, but I’m understanding everything just fine. I have B’s in all my classes right now, and aside from his guidance, no one has helped me get them.”
I could hear the pride in her voice and I reached over and hugged her. We weren’t exactly the touchy-feely kind of family, so my gesture surprised her, though she didn’t pull away.
“I’m so proud of you, Tessa! I always knew you could do it. If I’d had any doubts, I’d never have helped you to begin with.”
She laughed, “You little brat, you did not.”
“Did too, you just needed to believe in yourself. That’s all.”
“When did you get to be so smart?”
We both laughed. I had always been the smarty pants of the family.
“Hey, did you hear? Anita is dating Matt Williams,” Tessa told me.
“What? Seriously? I mean, I knew they liked each other and had, um, messed around.”
“Sex, Jenna. It’s called sex,” she said, laughing at me. “It’s okay to say ‘sex.’ Actually, several of the girls are having sex. If Daddy only knew. He’d be furious! There’s not one single male panther at this school. What was he thinking?”
I blushed at how candid she was being and she rolled her eyes at me.
“Jenna, we’re all adults here. What’s really the harm in it?”
“I know that, Tessa. I’m not judging. I think Anita and Matt are great together. I’m just wondering what happens if they decide to mate.”
I was testing the waters with my sister. I knew it was a dangerous game, but I couldn’t seem to help myself.
Tessa sobered. “Jenna, you know what Daddy expects. Not just from you and me, but all of us here. He would demand Anita return home if he found out about Matt, and he’s a freaking jaguar. Same species, different colored fur. But Sidney, she’s seeing a lion, and um, the TA I was telling you about? He’s uh, he’s a tiger.”
My eyes widened in shock and my mouth dropped open. Of all the felines, my dad hated the lions the most, but tigers were a close second. I had heard whispered rumors of why over the years, but it had never made any sense to me.
“A tiger? Tessa, are you sure that’s what you want?”
She nodded. “He’s a really sweet guy. I mean, don’t get me wrong, he’s not like my true mate or anything. I’m not going to bond with him, but I really like him and we get along great. I’m hoping he asks me out, and maybe we could go to spring formal together.” She stared at me with her big eyes looking so vulnerable. It was like looking in a mirror at myself, or how I’d imagine I would look when I finally got up the nerve to tell her about Chase.
I smiled and she slowly relaxed. “Tessa, I think that’s great! I know everyone here thinks of me as some goody-goody, but honestly, I just want you to be happy. I don’t care if this guy is a tiger, a lion, or a camel, or a jackal even. As long as he treats you right and it’s what you want.”
“Thanks.” I thought she genuinely meant it, too, but then she laughed again. “A camel? A jackal? Really Jen? A freaking dog? Even I have some standards.”
I cringed. “Anita’s dating a D.O.G,” I pointed out.
“Not the same.”
“No, but all of his fraternity brothers are canines, and they’ve been sniffing around this place since we arrived.”
“Sure, they’re pretty to look at and fun to flirt with, but I can’t imagine any of the panthers actually falling for one of them. Can you even imagine?”
I faked a laugh alongside my sister. Yeah, I could definitely imagine, but I wasn’t ready to tell her that. I wasn’t sure if I ever would truly be ready for that confession.
> Tessa finally said good night and left me alone in my room. It wasn’t even seven yet and had only been about two hours since I said goodbye to Chase, yet I missed him terribly and wanted to talk to him. I picked up my phone and texted him.
JENNA – Miss you already.
My phone dinged almost immediately.
CHASE – Miss you more.
JENNA – Dinner?
I bit my bottom lip as I waited for his response. I knew I was pushing my luck and we were bound to get caught, but I couldn’t help myself. I wanted my mate.
CHASE – On campus or off?
I rolled my eyes and grinned. I could already imagine where his thoughts were headed… home.
JENNA – better make it on.
CHASE – Fine, but I have a study date in 30min.
I smiled. I hadn’t thought about that. It was Sunday and we did have a standing study date in the library every Sunday evening.
JENNA – Subs?
CHASE – Perfect. I’ll pick them up and see you there.
I put down the phone, still smiling, but jumped at a knock on my door.
“Who is it?” I asked
The door opened, and Anita peeked her head in without asking.
“Hey, Anita, what’s up?”
“Where were you this weekend?” she asked in a hushed voice as she closed the door behind her.
“I just needed to get away,” I lied.
“I saw Tessa leave earlier. Did she, um, tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
Her eyes filled with worry. “Oh, uh, sorry, I thought she’d have told you. You see, I, um, I’m sorta, I’m sort of seeing Matt Williams,” she finally blurted out.
“Oh, yeah, that. She told me.”
Before I could continue, she started talking a mile a minute. “I wanted to tell you first, but you weren’t here, and it sort of slipped out at the party last night. I had one too many beers and I blabbed. Plus, he was here, and he just looked so yummy, I couldn’t keep my hands to myself. Oh no,” she said, her hands flying to her mouth. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give too much information. I can’t imagine what you’re thinking right now. Do you hate me?”
Confusing Hearts (Westin Pack Book 4) Page 14
