Horror, Humor, and Heroes

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Horror, Humor, and Heroes Page 2

by Jim Bernheimer


  “Man makes strange noises that no one understands. I’ve never been close enough to try and speak to one, and since I am almost out of stories about man, I never will. I do not think they are of the Spirit. I think they are the Spirit’s enemies. Death follows their slow pondering movement, wolf, and they grind the balance of the Spirit beneath their misshapen paws.”

  Nal made his decision. “Raccoon, will you travel with me and relay this tale to the other guardians? They did not believe me when I spoke of the raven’s warning, but you also walk the sacred ground. Perhaps they will listen to you.”

  “If the guardians of this land do not believe each other, what hope would one such as I have? Finish me now, for you will need all the strength I can provide if you face one.”

  Nal’s strong jowls crushed the flesh part of its neck and he felt the bone beneath snap. Nal’s blood raced through his veins with the kill, but the exhilaration of the hunt was missing, replaced by a numbing sense of dread.

  #

  Fang circled Nal. The Alpha was waiting for him a short run before the area where the pack gathers. Nal faithfully relayed the raccoon’s story.

  “But do you have any proof!” the old wolf demanded, practically nipping at Nal’s hindquarters.

  “I heard the sharp cracks several times in the days following and found more strange tracks. Several trees at the southern tip were reduced to stumps, but the rest of the felled trees were missing. On clear days out in the plains there is smoke drifting to the clouds even though the Spirit has not shaken the sky and burnt the ground with its fury.”

  “So, you have nothing! Is this another of your fanciful tales like last season when you chased the great bear into the mountains?” Fang forced Nal into a submissive, cowering position, asserting his dominance as the Alpha.

  Nal whimpered. “If I was just making this up, why would I choose this? What can I possibly gain?”

  “Mating season starts soon. Perhaps you believe this foolishness will impress the females. Rest assured it does not!” Fang replied. “I will not hear of this tonight when we gather. You will say nothing or suffer my wrath.”

  “I will obey. If I am wrong then I wear the fur of a fool, but if I am right our forest is in great danger.”

  “You test my patience, whelp! I think I will change things so that you patrol to the north and west. The cooler temperatures should help clear your mind.”

  “How can I find proof if you send me in the other direction?”

  “I am trying to help you, Nal. There are some that think you are beset by evil spirits. Some wish to cast you out for this talk of man. If you persist in telling this I may be forced to do just that.”

  At the gathering Nal did his best to maintain his silence. Dur’s haranguing was merciless and Fang did naught to stop it. Nal knew this was a test. Fang demanded obedience and gave him over to Dur’s tender mercies to drive that point home.

  Still, Nal was a young wolf, and of the many gathered in the clearings, he was indeed among the most prideful. He turned his back on the rest of his kin and began to walk out of the clearing.

  “Where do you think you are going?” Dur howled.

  “I believe this man exists. Were I boasting, I would claim to have killed one or a dozen, but I do not. Cast me out if you will, but if this threat exists to our land then, by the Spirit, I will find proof.”

  There was a cacophony of growls and yelps. No one had ever voluntarily exiled themselves from the pack. Fang was greatly insulted by Nal’s defiance. “This gathering is closed to you, Nal. From this moment, you are not of the pack. Where you go, none will follow. No guardian is to speak to this whelp. Be gone!”

  Nal ran southbound. His eyes glanced to the home of the Spirit above. Dark clouds obscured it ominously, and he wondered if this meant that the Spirit was afraid of what was to come.

  #

  “You risk much just by being here, Teya. Stay upwind from me unless you want them to smell me on you.” Nal said resting on his haunches at the edge of the forest. He stared out into the night sky looking for the haze in the distance, but was unable to see it. The older female walked around the stumps looking for the trees that were once attached to them and staring at the indentations in the ground.

  “Fang related your wild tales much to the enjoyment of all, but I was disturbed. You may be a braggart, but your stories have never shown this much imagination. Your actions speak of conviction, and these missing trees lend credence to your story.”

  “Will you convince the others to come see the wrongness of this place?” Nal asked hopefully.

  “No, I think I should wait here and see what comes and takes the trees.”

  “That is what I am doing. More are missing than the last time I was here. If this is the work of man, this will likely be the place to find them.”

  “Then we shall wait together. At least I will wait. You will go find us food.”

  “You want the outcast to bring you meat? Do you not fear being possessed by the spirits that control me?”

  She huffed, yowling slightly in annoyance. “Here I was just beginning to enjoy your company, Nal. Look at it this way, if I see man, the pack will believe me. If you see one, no one will. Therefore, I will wait and watch and you shall bring me meat.”

  Nal sprinted back into the forest, glad to at least have a hesitant ally. It took him hours of searching, but in dawn’s first light he found a hare. It was a very familiar creature.

  “Please! I will tell you about man this time! I have seen them!”

  Nal growled. “If you lie, your death will be slow.”

  “They come from the barren land and hit the trees with shiny sticks! They come each morning and leave at nightfall taking the trees with them. When they have taken all the trees, where will we go?”

  The wolf dropped the slightly bloodied and startled rabbit on the ground. Nal looked at the sky. Carrying the meat would slow him down. Man could already be there.

  “Tell me, was their skin dark or light?”

  “Light.”

  Without another thought, the ex-guardian left the rabbit and ran southward.

  He was precious minutes away when he heard the first of several sharp cracks and Teya’s howl. Nal was too late. Man had struck a packmate. He pleaded with the Spirit to lend its strength and he ran faster.

  Like the fawn before, Teya’s movements were awkward. Her gait was strange as she favored one of her front legs, and she moved slowly. Running to her side he recognized the eerie wound. He sniffed it to confirm that awful smell. Fortunately, her blood was only oozing. If it stopped, she would live.

  Teya was clearly panicking. “They’re monsters. It’s even worse than you spoke of. They wear the skins of others. What are we going to do?”

  He growled at her sharply to get her attention. “You must go to the others and warn them that man is real and a threat to our forest.”

  “What will you do?”

  Nal tilted his head back to the south and called on the Spirit for courage. “I am a guardian. It is my trust to protect this forest. Nothing Fang or Dur can say or do will ever change that.”

  “They are not of the Spirit!” she protested. “They will kill you. Come with me and we will tell the pack together.”

  The brief thought of doing that crossed Nal’s mind – to see the looks on the faces of those who had mocked him for crying out the warning of man, but the wound on Teya was too real to ignore.

  “What if they are not as slow as the raccoon said, Teya? You must escape to deliver the warning. You said it yourself, the pack will not believe me. I will defend our forest and deliver a blow to those not of the Spirit. If I fail, I will join with the Great Spirit and hear your howls at the gatherings.”

  Despite the she-wolf’s protests, Nal sprinted towards the south. He did not circle, knowing their sticks could hit him from afar. He would strike and not stalk.

  Approaching the area of desecration, he saw man for the first time. It was just as the
old raccoon described, right down to the skins of others draped over their bodies. Fear and anger mixed freely in him and in the core of his being he knew that the Spirit would not call these abominations its children. Nal charged the first one swinging a shiny stick against a tree.

  The man screamed and made noises that Nal could not understand, confirming man was not of the Spirit. That knowledge strengthened Nal. Rolling with the foul monster, the wolf snapped his jaws breaking through the skins and dousing his enemy with blood.

  Nal savored the taste of the spray. Man bled and that meant the pack could fight these creatures.

  Others from the man pack came to its rescue, but Nal had struck a mortal injury and hoped it would give the rest of them pause.

  He rolled away from the man’s death spasms and saw the rest were pointing their sticks at him. He howled at them and cursed them in the Great Spirit’s name. This close the sharp cracks were a deafening roar.

  Pain like Nal had never imagined coursed through his body.

  #

  Still limping, Teya led the others to the spot in the dark. She held a brief hope that Nal still maintained his vigil despite the roar of the death sticks she heard while retreating. There were many more missing trees and the scent of death and decay was heavy in the air.

  “Here!” Dur growled. His tone lacked the normal arrogance and was laden with fear and uncertainty. He circled the remains of a tree that had doubtless stood for many gatherings.

  Fang bolted from the group and ran to the spot. “No! It is impossible! Great Spirit protect us!” he howled.

  Despite her lingering pain, Teya had to see. She owed that much to Nal. However, nothing prepared her for the sight of Nal’s body. Man had skinned him, desecrating his body and leaving the meat to rot. His eyes were locked in death, but there was no fear in them. The ground carried the smell of blood that was not Nal’s.

  Turning to the rest of the guardians she spoke. “Nal the Brave cried man and we did not believe him. Our folly has cost us a noble guardian. He is one with the Great Spirit now, and when we face man again we shall call on his strength and courage as well.”

  Raw and Real

  by Jim Bernheimer

  “This coming Saturday, October 31, 2020, BE THERE! Rogue Sentinel Productions presents the ultimate pay per view event – ‘The Beast Must Die.’ Our top three hunters are back in the maze, each armed with a revolver, six silver bullets, and a silver knife. You’ve watched them stalk some of the most fearsome creatures on the planet, but this time we’ve got something special in store for them. Straight from the jungles of Central America, Carlos ‘El Lobo’ Juarez!

  Fifteen years after being bitten by a werewolf at age six, he’s become more than just a monster. Sentenced to death for his brutal crimes, his government has agreed to allow his sentence to be carried out for our pay per view audience!

  This Halloween, it will be ‘Blue Moon Madness in the Maze’, ‘Mayhem by Moonlight’ and for $49.95, you can be there too, with an all access pass including interviews with our hunters, a profile of the monster, and start to finish coverage. Only one day left, so order now!”

  #

  “David, my boy, this is one hell of a marketing coup. The outcry is only adding fuel to the fire. The protesters outside of our headquarters are pure advertising gold! We’ve got death penalty opponents, Amnesty International, hell, we’ve even got PETA out here! Pre-orders are through the roof! You’ve got one massive bonus coming your way.”

  David chuckled into his satellite phone, watching the promo streaming across his laptop and running a hand through his sandy blond hair. “Thanks Stan, the ad looks fantastic! I wish I was back there instead of out here in the jungle.” He swatted at an insect on his neck to emphasize the point.

  “Well, this is your baby, from start to finish. I’ll be honest, when you first brought it to me, I didn’t think you’d pull it off, but now here we are just over twenty-four hours from broadcast and it’s all because of you.”

  He laughed off Stan’s praise, but the president of Rogue Sentinel was right. It hadn’t been easy. More than once there were legal hassles, the likes of which the production company had never seen, even having to fend off the estate of a legendary horror writer – like there was an original idea left anywhere. Still, David persevered because he knew that with enough lawyers and enough money, anything was possible.

  “So tell me, how is the talent adjusting?”

  “If you’re asking, you already know the answer. How many calls has she given you? Amazon Jane’s been out of her trailer all of fifteen minutes since we’ve been here. That was only to bitch about her trailer being smaller than the ones for The Gunslinger and Gangsta Mike. I still don’t think we should have brought her. She’s not really that good.”

  “Yes, but what she does have is fan appeal. She’s got huge knockers and hunts in a leopard skin bikini. Any other stupid questions? Let’s move on, Ted’s almost finished with all the voiceover work, but we need more of the werewolf. Work your magic! Rile him up, get him angry. Go ahead and push his buttons. We’ll paint him as self-loathing and suicidal. Tonight, when he transforms, toss in a live goat, sheep, chickens, or whatever the hell you have down there. I want it to look savage and brutal! Give me a ‘money shot’ of him tearing something to pieces!”

  “No problem, boss. I’ve got production team one doing updates, prep work, and interviews with the hunters. Team two is finishing the maze and installing the fixed cameras. They should be done before dinner. I’ll bring them with me to film the furball as he changes.”

  “Anything else?”

  “Just the usual stuff and nothing I can’t handle. Charlie is complaining about the lack of decent equipment. We’re actually going to shoot some of the initial stuff in black and white for a retro look. I’ve got to go. These things don’t produce themselves!”

  David disconnected and checked the last of his email before returning to the aircraft hanger converted into a production camp for more bug repellent. The smell of diesel fumes from the ill-placed and poorly ventilated generators at the entrance greeted him.

  Trailers hugged the walls, almost as if they were afraid of the large, ominous, steel cage in the middle of the hanger. Inside that cage, a gaunt-looking young man with ancient eyes and unkempt hair crouched on a bench, which also served as his bed. El Lobo, the star of this production, looked more animal than human. David decided to have props bring in some straw to put in the bottom of the cage. Two soldiers lazily stood watch over Juarez, each with a rifle specially loaded for the occasion. This would have never flown back in the states and even the most jaded of networks were shying away, which was why it would be one of the top pay per view events ever!

  “Mr. Juarez, how are you doing?” David asked in fluent Spanish.

  The man looked up at him and almost through him with a piercing gaze. “I am about to be put down like an animal for the world’s entertainment. How should I be feeling?”

  “Well you know that Rogue Sentinel has promised a considerable sum to both your family and your victim’s fund. They were going to kill you anyway.”

  El Lobo spat at David’s feet, “My ‘victim’s fund?’ You mean all the people they say I killed in that village where I went on my rampage? Do you know that it was a stronghold of government opposition? Was I there that night? Perhaps, I do not know what happens when the beast overtakes me. I only know that I awoke the next day in the middle of the wild instead of the cage I went to sleep in. Forty-three is a considerable number of victims for one werewolf to kill in a single night, is it not? The number is even more impressive considering I traveled nearly twenty kilometers and bypassed another village to accomplish this feat.”

  David shrugged his shoulders. “I’m not here to retry your case, Mr. Juarez. I’m just producing a show. Your final statement will be broadcast around the world. You’ll have your say.”

  “You say that like you actually believe it. You missed your calling, Hale. You should
be in front of the camera.”

  David gave his best ‘what can I say’ smile and replied, “I’ll have someone come by with your lunch shortly. We’ll get some better clothes for the interview.”

  The bitter creature sneered at him, grasping the bars of his cage and leaning closer. “Don’t waste your time. I prefer to remain as I am. The world thinks me an animal. Who am I to contradict them?”

  David scratched the stubble on his chin, “Impressive! Make sure you say that when we’re recording.”

  With that, he walked away. Part of him felt guilty that a local actor would actually give that final statement, after it was approved by the government censors. He’d mention that line to the copy editor and get it worked into the script, but on some level, David was certain El Lobo already knew it was a sham.

 

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