by Tia Siren
I could feel him trying to pull away. From my hand, from my words, from me. But I didn’t let him.
“That doesn’t matter,” I said, “He and I aren’t dating. It was just a fun night.”
As soon as I said it, I realized it was a lie—sort of. Truthfully, I had feelings for Jake—and I had feelings for Mark. If only I could just be with both of them.
Jake was lifting my hand to his lips. He kissed it.
“So, I still feel like I don’t really know much about you,” he said.
“I thought we went over this,” I said, with a half-smile, “But if you insist then ask away. I’m an open book.”
He tilted his head at me, his eyes flicking across my face, as if he was trying to decipher the hidden meaning of a painting.
“But you aren’t, are you? That’s just it.”
I laughed.
“Looks like you hit the nail on the head, Dr. Jake, now we can go back to eating?”
His gaze piercing me, he asked “Have you ever been in love?”
I let out a nervous laugh.
“Whoa boy, way to just cut to the chase.”
He had leaned back in his chair now, his gaze still on mine, patiently waiting.
“No,” I said, “I thought so at the time, but afterwards realized it wasn’t love, it was just a sad sort of longing. I just didn’t want to be alone anymore.”
“Sounds awful,” Jake said.
“Failed love always is,” I said, trying and failing at an easy smile, “But this was much worse. I never saw the type of guy he really was until it had been a few months, and by then, it was too late.”
“What happened?” Jake said, “If you don’t mind me asking.”
“He ruined my life,” she said softly.
Jake took my hand.
“Sorry. That went way too deep for a nice lunch chat.”
“It’s fine,” I said.
He squeezed my hand.
“No, it’s not. But I’m going to make it up to you. If I asked you to, uh-eat the rest of my pizza, would you?”
Seeing my dumbfounded expression, he cracked up.
“That wasn’t what I really wanted to ask,” he admitted.
“So I can’t have the rest of your pizza?” I asked, in a clearly disappointed tone.
We laughed.
“You can, I guess,” he said, with a grudging smile, “But what I really wanted to ask you, was if you’d want to do dinner tomorrow. No overly personal questions— I promise.”
I took his other hand in mine and squeezed it.
“I’d love to.”
He grinned, a big goofy smile that showcased his handsome white teeth. His gaze flicked to my lips and we both grinned again. He drew back, sliding his plate over to me.
“So, about that pizza then?”
As it ended up, neither of us ate the pizza. We were both too full, too happy. Jake paid our bill quickly, and wouldn’t hear of me paying even a little of it.
“I put you through enough today,” he said, as he held open the bright red door of Pablo’s.
We waved to the curly-haired wife gaily on the way out.
“Oh please,” I said, as I walked through, “you enjoyed every minute of my suffering.”
He shrugged with an irreverent smile.
“Well, it did show that you cared.”
Jake and I took the long way back to work, doing a whole loop of the blocks. We only went in because it started to rain.
“Here,” Jake said.
He took off his leather jacket and held it over me as protection from the onslaught. I shook my head, but when I tried moving away, he grabbed my arm.
“Please Brooke,” he said.
I paused. His eyes were pleading, while his request had had an undeniably tender tone.
“Fine,” I said, allowing him to drape the nice leather jacket over me with one hand and around me with the other. This was how we made it into the lobby, where we almost walked straight into Mark.
“Hi,” Mark said, his surprised face turning from me to Jake, and back to me again. He blinked a couple times.
“I was just going to look for you two.”
“Thought we were skipping out on you?” Jake joked.
A shadow passed over Mark’s face.
“No, I—” With a shake of his head, he sent the offending thoughts away, his eyes narrowing with irritation. “I don’t know what I thought, but we’re late anyway, Mr. Work Hard-Play Hard.”
In the elevator, Jake looked just as somber as Mark did.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that,” he said in an undertone.
“Forget it,” Jake countered.
I said nothing. I didn’t know what they were talking about, but whatever it was, it wasn’t my place to intrude.
The rest of the day, things were awkward at best. Now, it was as if the roles had been reversed. Jake was the jokey talkative one, while Mark was the brooding silent one. He even snapped at Deidre.
“What did I tell you about booking operations back to back?” he snarled, slamming the flat of his hand down on the desk.
Waiting patiently, she withdrew further into the corner.
“Sorry,” Mark barked at her before striding off. “But we’ve got to have a break in between!” he yelled over his shoulder, as he stormed off to the bathroom.
Jake and I exchanged a look. Once again, I felt myself feeling guilty and aware this was all my doing. It seemed that no matter what choice I made, someone got hurt and upset. What was I going to do?
That night after our last patient was gone and the two of them finally left, I heaved a sigh of relief. As soon as I got home, I called Karly.
“So, I have a pretty big problem.”
“You fucked one of them, didn’t you!” she accused me, her voice laced with victory.
“How did you know?” I asked.
“Do we have to go over this again? It was the jerk one, wasn’t it?”
“Mark, yeah,” I admitted with a sigh.
“How was it?”
“Really good, I mean Kar, if you saw what this man could do—wow—but that doesn’t matter. It really upset Jake. He and I made up today, but that got Mark all upset. I’m starting to think this wasn’t such a good idea.”
“No shit, Sherlock!” Karly said, with a cackle.
“Okay, okay, that was a bit harsh, I’ll give you that,” she continued, correctly surmising that her response had annoyed me, “But let’s face it, working with two gorgeous hot-blooded single men in such close quarters—it was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“Okay,” I said slowly, “But, now that it has, what am I supposed to do? It seems like no matter what I do, no matter who I choose, someone is going to get hurt. And I really like this job and both guys. I don’t want to give one up.”
Karly whistled thoughtfully.
“Yeah, no matter how you swing it, one man’s going to get hurt. There’s no avoiding that. Damage control is figuring out the best resolution that you can, and going on. Although, I’m sure you know what I think you oughta do.”
I sighed.
“Fuck Jake, the other doc?”
“Bingo,” she said.
Before I could protest, she continued “It’s the only thing that’s fair at this point. I mean, you’ve got Jake all jealous that you slept with Mark, so it only makes sense to fuck him to put him at ease on equal ground. Maybe once they’re even, the tension will lessen a bit.”
As much as I hated to admit it, Karly’s conclusion matched what my gut was saying.
“I guess we’ll see,” I said.
“Oh please, you’re totally going to,” Karly’s knowing voice chided me.
“Whatever,” I said.
The rest of our conversation passed easily enough. We chatted about the new Jennifer Aniston movie, and the funny guy Karly was dating. It was nice, and reminded me of the old days when my life was much less stressful. Funny to think that was only a few weeks ago.
Somehow, it felt like years.
Back at home, I killed time before going to bed. I watched some Netflix, cooked a quick pizza dinner. When I finally crawled into the soft, silky bed and closed my eyes, I was met with the same image in my mind as past few nights. Mark and Jake, their shirts unbuttoned and open, advancing towards me. No matter where I turned, they were there waiting for me. For the decision I couldn’t make.
Chapter 11
Jake
I was up early in the morning already when they called me. I had been thinking about Brooke, aimlessly rolling from one side of my bed to the other. But when my phone rang, I jumped out of bed.
It was a hospital nurse calling me in, “We’ve got a seven-year-old little girl who needs emergency surgery—she was in a car accident.”
“I’ll be right there,” I said.
I raced to the closet, through on some clothes and was out of there.
The little girl was a mess. Just a glance at the wreckage of her face was enough to make my stomach turn. There were some things in this profession that you just didn’t get used to, no matter how many times you saw them.
The whole surgical suite was buzzing with life as I worked. Nurses threaded in and out, another doctor stopped by to watch. I was hyper-concentrated on what I was doing—stitching and cutting and sewing. It was in this trance-like state that I spent the night fixing the face of this little girl—Alisha.
Once I was done, I stepped back. One nurse congratulated me, while another shook my hand. I hardly noticed, however. My gaze was on the little brown-haired little girl whose face I had just mended. Her auburn curls were still in pigtails, held in place by two pink scrunchies, while her slumbering face looked peaceful. When she woke up, her face wouldn’t be exactly the way she remembered it; there would be a small scar running along the side of her cheek. But she wouldn’t be a monster. She wouldn’t have to fear going out in public, or face ridicule from other children. She would be spared all of that—because of me. It made my heart swell just to look at her adorable stitched-up face.
The longer I looked, the more I realized I felt a greater tenderness than normal for this little girl. With her dark hair, and the stoic expression on her little lips, she reminded me of Brooke. She’d had reconstructive surgery too, and had been as brave as this little girl would have to be.
Back at the office, the workday was already done; I’d barely noticed that I had spent all of it at the hospital. I’d expected to find our practice space empty, but Brooke and Mark were sitting there in the office, side by side, so close that their legs were touching, chatting away.
“And I’m saying, you should be nicer to Deidre,” Brooke was saying, “She really does work hard, even if she is a little incompetent.”
“A little incompetent?” Mark asked incredulously, “Were you not there this morning, when she had actually booked me a consultation with four patients at once? Where, after two of them outright refused to reschedule, I was forced to have a group consultation, which resulted in the two patients talking over each other arguing about who had the greater need for liposuction?”
“Okay, so she may need to work on her scheduling skills, I’ll give you that. But what about those coffees and pastries she brings us? Anyway, you better be nicer to her or—”
Mark flicked her on the arm.
“Or what? What exactly will you do, Miss Brooke?”
Brooke smiled evilly.
“You’d be surprised. I can be merciless when I want to.”
Mark took her chin in his hands.
“Oh, I’ll just bet you can.”
His gaze flicked over her shoulder and he let go of her.
“Hey Jake.”
Brooke turned, and visibly brightened at the sight of me, while I could hardly keep the smile off my face.
“Hey.”
“Must’ve been a long day for you at the hospital,” Brooke said, sympathetically, “This is the first we’ve seen of you—and it’s, what,” she glanced at the metal clock on the wall, “oh gosh, it’s 5:30 already.”
Her and Mark exchanged a smile, while my stomach flip-flopped. So, they’d been basically sitting in the office, chatting for over an hour.
“Yeah, it was a long day,” I said, “But definitely worth it. They called me in for reconstructive surgery on a little girl.”
Interest sparkled in Brooke’s hazel eyes.
“Really?”
I nodded.
“Yeah. It was pretty terrible at first, half her face was all destroyed from a car accident. But I fixed it up pretty nicely; she’ll only have to deal with a slight scar on the side of her face after she heals.”
Mark looked borderline bored, while Brooke’s face was shining at my words.
“Wow, that must have been something,” she breathed.
“Yeah, I—well it’s my favorite part of what I do. How you feel when you look at this little girl whose face you saved—and knowing it was so much more than that. Maybe even her happiness—there’s no feeling in the world like that.”
“That’s incredible,” Brooke burst out.
She rose, and for a minute, I thought she was going to hug me.
“You must have been really brave for going through all that,” I said.
“Thank you,” she said, tears coming to her eyes, “It wasn’t easy, especially those first few weeks. But my mom was there for me every step of the way.”
Mark cleared his throat.
“Brooke and I were going to get drinks.”
Brooke turned to me with a guilty look in her eye.
“Actually, we’ve sat here so long, I’m feeling a bit tired. Raincheck?”
Mark paused.
“I could always carry you there, if that would help.”
“Really, sorry,” Brooke said, with an awkward smile, making her way to the door.
“I’ll see you boys tomorrow.”
“Brooke,” I said, putting my hand on her arm to stop her.
“Yes?”
“Next time I get a call for a job like that, I’ll take you with me, if you want.”
The biggest smile I’d ever seen broke out on her face.
“I’d love that.”
“Great,” I said.
“Great,” she said, “See ya.”
Then she left. She didn’t close the door behind her, and yet it still felt stuffy in the room with Mark and me eyeing each other.
I felt weird. The feeling of happiness I’d experienced when Brook had beamed at what I’d told her, the way I’d invited her to join me next time, it all was odd to me. It wasn’t just the simple pleasure of having a friend or colleague’s approval. I wanted Brooke to approve of me, to like me—just as much as I liked her, and better than she liked Mark. When I’d seen the way Mark was laying his hands on her I felt sick.
“So,” Mark said, “Fancy meeting you here.”
He’d probably intended it as a joke, but there was still a testy tone to his voice.
“I didn’t expect anyone to be here still,” I said, “Figured I’d just finish up some paperwork before heading home.”
“Well, don’t let me stop you,” Mark said, rising.
Our gazes locked, but I didn’t move.
“You two must have been talking quite a while,” I commented blithely, “for you to stay over an hour past quitting time.”
Mark shrugged.
“Brooke’s a fun woman to talk too—hot too, but you know that already.”
His narrowed eyes scanned my face.
“What’s it to you, anyway?”
“I don’t know.”
My dejected gaze fell. Mark was right. He had slept with her first, and he was my best friend. I was the one who had made that whole speech about us staying friends no matter what, after all. I needed to lay off. But still, when I caught Brooke’s happy hazel eyes…
“I don’t know, man,” I said, “I just think it’s a dangerous game, getting involved with an employee, hurting a good girl like that.�
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A dark knowing laugh tumbled out of Mark’s lips.
“Oh Jake, if you really knew Brooke—you’d know that she wasn’t good at all.”
I inhaled sharply, every muscle in my body tensing. That fucking bastard.
“Still,” I said tightly, “she doesn’t deserve to be fucked over like your other ex-girlfriends, okay? I’ve seen the way you leave some of these girls.”
“Just because some of them go calling on you for sympathy, doesn’t mean that I treated them poorly, okay? I never make claims that I don’t follow through on. If these girls aren’t getting what they wanted, it’s because they had unrealistic expectations in the first place.”
“And Brooke—what kind of expectations does she have? Do you really think this can end well?”
Mark’s clenched fist spread into an open palm on the black wood desk.
“You know what, Jake? I honestly hadn’t really thought of it. It seems to me that she just wants to have some fun—just like me.”
“Really?” I challenged him, striding up so we were face-to-face, “That’s all you want with her? Sure doesn’t seem like that to me, not the way you’ve been stalking her on social media.”
Rage flared through Mark’s eyes.
“What the fuck—you’ve been going through my Facebook?”
“You were using my phone when yours died Monday. I thought it was signed in to my account and, when I tried searching for Brooke, I found she’d already been searched—fifteen times that day alone. Anyway, I logged you off right after that.”
“Whatever,” Mark snapped, “So what if I might actually like Brooke? You having a crush on her, isn’t my problem. If you’re so bothered by it why don’t you just fuck her yourself— if she’ll have you, that is.”
“Because, Mark—unlike you, I think of the bigger picture for things like this—such as our work situation and even Brooke herself.”
Mark shoved himself past me. At the door, he paused.
“You know, I’m not so sure that Brooke is the one you’re worried about getting hurt, he said with a sneer.
“Oh yeah?” I said, “And what if I did fuck her, Mark. Would you really be okay with that?”
Mark’s whole body went rigid. His glare shot to me like he was going to hit me or yell. But instead, he turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him.
