“He does.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“There isn’t one. I just would like to consider his feelings before I do something.”
“So, you need to ask him first?”
“I didn’t say that. I’m just… Can I process it for a minute?” I ask. He chuckles.
“How about we sing it together and you get a feel for it? If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to do it.”
“Deal.”
“I’ll run through it again, and then when I’m done, you lead right back into it.”
“Okay.”
Jules walks in. “Oh, sorry, guys. Do you want me to leave?”
“No,” Hunter says. “Let us know what you think.”
“Awesome.” She looks at me and raises her perfect brows. Hunter starts strumming his acoustic again and sings it once through. It’s obvious he has been practicing what I’ve been teaching him. Jules glances back at me, and mouths, “Oh my God.” He gives me my cue, and with my eyes trained on his so I don’t mess up the words, I sing along.
Deep breaths, slow sighs, baby, let’s get lost tonight
You and me and no one else
Let’s make love all night until the sun comes up
Damp skin, slow moves, let’s get lost, just me and you
I see you staring across the room
It’s obvious you want me to make the move
Deep breaths, slow sighs, baby, let’s get lost tonight
The last word is sang, and Hunter finishes strumming. He smiles at me. “If you want to know what I think, I say that was freakin’ hot,” Jules says, fanning herself in the chair in the corner.
“What did you think, Shay?” he asks.
“I think it sounded nice.”
“Nice? Come on. That was more than nice.”
I look over at Jules who is beaming. “Okay, it was really nice,” I admit.
“I think it was sexy as shit.” Hunter chuckles. I take a deep breath because I’m thinking when Jace hears it he’s going to want to choke Hunter for singing those words to me like he just did. “I still have to perfect some of the verses, but now you have an idea of what the vibe of the song is and what you would sing.”
“Well, I think it’s fabulous and totally hot,” Jules says. “As her non-manager, I say she’ll be happy to collaborate.” Hunter laughs, and I cringe inside. It’s hot. I know it is. But, I don’t really know if it’s appropriate for me to sing something like that with someone other than Jace. He wants me to make the best decision for us, but I don’t know if that’s the best decision. Yes, it’s just a song, but Jace’s feelings will never just be “his feelings”—not to me. I don’t know how people in the entertainment business do it. I understand acting and singing is a form of art and expression, but when you are expressing with someone other than the one you have promised yourself to, the one that you are soul mates with, how can you do intimate acts with another? I don’t think you can, not if you are truly in love.
“I hope you will consider collaborating with me, Shay. We sound really good together, and I’d love to record it with you,” he says with a smirk.
“I’ll consider it,” I reply, playing with my charms. I glance at Jules as Hunter puts his guitar back in its case.
“Okay, so let’s let her soak that in, Hunter, and I will change the focus to her song,” Jules says, getting all business-like. “As Steven Stark’s personal assistant.”
“She’s your dad’s assistant?” Hunter looks at me.
“Yes, I am,” she responds before I can.
“She’s working with him while she goes to fashion school.”
“I want to be well-rounded, Hunter. You should know how much fashion is a part of the entertainment business as a whole.”
“Yeah, you have a point there.” He smiles at her.
“All right, now that you know my background, I need to talk biz with Shay.”
“I’ll let you two do that.” He gets up, grabs his guitar, and rubs my shoulder as he walks out. “I’ll text you,” he says, shutting the door.
“I’ll text you? Hand on your shoulder? I don’t know, Shay. Oh, wait, I do… prison break!”
“Jules, don’t be dramatic.”
“Shay, think about it. Your boyfriend is in prison for beating up your childhood friend because of jealously. How do you think Jace would feel if he saw a pop star-slash-movie star singing let’s make love all night, looking deep in your eyes…with a little shoulder rub and a text you later?”
“He wasn’t looking deep in my eyes.”
She tilts her head and does her fishy face. “Shay, he was really into it. He wants you.”
“You don’t know about singing. When you sing with someone else, it’s intimate. That doesn’t mean he’s into me.”
She twists her lip and air quotes. “I know the ‘into you’ look.”
“Just tell me my ‘non-manager’ what I have coming my way.”
“Okay. That title is kind of growing on me,” she teases. I roll my eyes. “So, your dad had his producers listen to your recording, and they thought it was flawless. That means contract time.” She gets serious.
“I have to sign a contract?” I get up and walk straight out of the studio toward my dad’s office.
“Where are you going?” Jules says, trailing behind me.
“Steven Stark’s office,” I say, leaving “Dad” at the door, preparing for the businessman. I barge right into his office. “Hey, can we talk a minute?”
“For a minute? I’m picking up my girlfriend for lunch.”
“Dad, do you really have to call Mom your girlfriend?”
“She will always be my girl.” He laughs.
“Oh my God, you and Ms. Melody are the cutest,” Jules says, sighing next to me.
“What do we need to talk about?” He gets back to business.
“I have to sign a contract?”
“It’s just for liability reasons, Shay. You always want to protect you and your music. I’m not holding you to a contract. It’s one song.”
“Okay, I just don’t want to be locked in to some solo career when Jace gets out.”
“Stark Records is your family business. You’re in no danger of getting locked in to a contract.”
“Damn, Shay. Perks of having the Stark name,” Jules says.
Now, I’m really nervous. What am I doing? It’s only one song, but it’s our song, and I’m putting it there for the whole world to hear. It’s for our future. That’s what I keep telling myself. “When are you debuting it, and where?” I ask my dad.
“It’s hitting airways this week.”
“This week?”
“Did you want me to wait a year, Shay?”
“Well, no, but this week?”
“Shay’s going to be a pop star!” Jules singsongs, making my dad’s face pull into a giant smile. “Finally! My best friend is going to show the world her talent.”
“Jules, relax! You’re making me more nervous.” I turn to my dad with pleading eyes. “Where are you debuting it?” I ask him, trying to keep my nerves at bay.
“Shay, we live in California, where the hottest radio station sits.”
“Oh my God, Shay. You are going live on VIBE this week. Holy crap!”
“Got to go, girls,” Dad says, turning with a smile. I watch him walk away while Jules practically bounces up and down behind me. While she jumps with excitement, I feel like I’m going to jump out of my skin.
“What am I doing, Jules?” I whisper. She shakes my shoulders with a giggle while I stare at her in silence.
“What do you mean, what are you doing? You’re about to start the career you’ve talked about since you were in elementary school.”
“I’m about to debut mine and Jace’s song, and possibly sing a duet with Hunter Daniels.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“I don’t know if I’m ready for all that.” I let out a long, soft breath. My arms wrap around me as go
osebumps dot my skin.
“It’s just nerves. You’ll be fine,” she says. I picture those two girls that were taking pictures of Hunter and me with their phones and the invasion of privacy I felt in his presence. I’m just looking too much into it. Like Hunter said you have to shake off the nerves.
“Let’s go celebrate,” Jules says.
“Actually, I’m going home.”
“You’re always home.”
“I like to be home. Besides, I want to finish decorating the condo.”
“You’re so boring, Shay.”
I suck in a breath and look into her big doe-like blue eyes. “I’m not boring, Jules. I’m freakin’ heartbroken, and I don’t want to go out when the boy I loves sits in a damn prison cell.” I wave my hands around. “The thought of recording the song I wrote for Jace, and it being heard around the world in a matter of days, while he can’t enjoy it with me is a little bit a of a downer. I mean, will he even hear it? This is his song that I wrote for him when we were kids, and he doesn’t get to share this moment with me. This is not how my career was supposed to take off.” Tears start to flow down my cheeks, and Jules leans in to wrap her arms around me, but I don’t want her comfort right now. “I want my boy, Jules. I want the life that we planned to start a year ago.”
“I know you do, and I know I seem insensitive at times, but truly, I’m just trying to keep life as light as it can be right now for you. I know it’s not ideal timing, but this is what you talked about when we were growing up, and now the opportunity has presented itself.”
Placing my hands on my hips, I lean to the side. “I talked about being a songwriter that sings, Jules, not a pop star.”
“That’s just me talking. ‘Moon and Stars’ is not a pop song. It has that indie-romantic-storytelling kind of vibe. You listen to so many of those artists, and they are very much under the radar, so I assure you it won’t be as bad as that little head of yours is thinking it will be.”
“Yeah, well, when I met up with Hunter to discuss his song in Hollywood, girls were taking our picture with their phones.”
“You were with Hunter Daniels, Shay. Of course, they were taking pictures.”
“Okay, maybe you’re right. I’m overreacting. I’m sure everything will be fine. I mean, it’s just one little song, and I’m a total nobody.”
“Exactly,” Jules says, agreeing with me.
“Can we go out now that you’ve had your freak-out moment?”
“No, I really want to go home and stare at pictures of Jace. I told him I was going to decorate our room, and right now, I just want to feel him, even if it’s just looking at our pictures.”
THIS IS KINDA WHAT I DREAMED OF
AFTER THREE TEXTS from my mom asking me to come over for dinner, I finally text her back. With nothing but the glow of my cell phone around me, I sit in the middle of the bed Jace dreams to rest his sexy body in.
Me: Thanks for the invite, but I’m curled up on the couch watching a movie.
Mom: That sounds cozy. Aren’t you hungry?
Me: Nope, I’m totally fine. I already ate.
Mom: Okay, sassy girl, see you in the morning.
Me: Goodnight.
I fall back against softness and feel a little regret that I wasn’t truthful, but if I told her I was sitting in the middle of my bed crying, she would’ve come right over.
Staring at the picture wall, I wipe away tears. When I was little, I imagined what it would be like to be a recording artist after I mastered piano and my dad bought me my first guitar. As soon as I started taking lessons, I knew I wanted to make music. It came easy for me, strumming the strings and words flowing naturally from my lips. They say to write a song effortlessly is a gift, but listening to Jules try to mimic me and sounding like jumbled words thrown together showed me that maybe I have a little something that doesn’t come easy for most. It became my vision. While Jules dreamed of fashion, I dreamed of music, until Jace walked into my world. The dream was still there, but the vision changed, especially as our relationship grew. Bright lights and crowded rooms were replaced by moonlit nights and quiet spaces with the boy who wants to give me his world. I love to sing, and I will always want to write music, but at what level and at what cost? I don’t ever want to lose who Jace and I are together. I’m nineteen and secretly engaged to the boy who holds every bit of my heart, and with our dreams put on hold, childhood daydreams before I met him are days away from coming true. Instead of being filled with excitement, I’m staring at the pictures of the life that invades every one of my dreams. Sometimes dreams can change, and the vision you once saw can turn into something so much clearer, so much richer than anything you ever thought you wanted. I don’t believe you can have it all. Something will always come with a price, so you have to find what is worth the most to you, and for me, Jace James will always hold the most value. This is kind of what I dreamed of, but the moment I think we don’t come first, that very moment, my career as a recording artist will be over.
Before I fall asleep on our bed, I push myself up, and with quiet steps, I walk back to the guest room and fall asleep, dreaming of pale blue eyes, jet-black hair, and strong arms tightly wrapped around me.
I WON’T LET GO OF OUR DREAM
Shay,
Love is dark blue eyes,
And soft, wavy, brown hair.
It’s softly spoken words
Whispered lovingly into my ear.
Love is entwined fingers
That have only held my hand.
Love is bright smiles like sunshine
That warm me endlessly.
Love will only ever be between you and me.
You are the only girl that will ever make my heart beat. I can’t wait to marry you. I love you, baby.
Love, your boy
I LAY HER LITTLE LOVE NOTE against my chest and close my eyes, dreaming of the life I want with my girl, the life we have planned, the life I promised her, the life I hope like hell we can still have when our song becomes the world’s. I know she’s scared and unsure right now, but I will never let us lose our dream.
I’M OFFICIALLY AN ARTIST
IT’S NINE O’CLOCK, AND instead of sitting in my parents’ kitchen talking to my boy, I’m sitting in studio seven with my family and Hunter waiting for “Moon and Stars” to float through the speakers. I’m panicked inside, clutching on to my other half as I wait for the DJ to debut it over the radio.
Hunter leans into my ear as my dad goes over and turns up the volume on the radio. “I see your family is all here, but I’m a little shocked the boyfriend isn’t. I got to tell you, Shay, I’m not impressed with him. How could the guy you’ve been dating for years not be here to share this moment with you?” He leans back in his chair and slowly shakes his head as the most famous DJ in pretty much the world fills the room. Mom gasps, and Jules and Tatum squeal while my dad, Beau, and Tristan hush them to silence. Hunter continues his stare while I continue to hold on to Jace’s reminder that no matter what he’s with me. Hunter notices and looks down at my wrist.
“So we heard—” Riley, the DJ, says.
“Oh my God,” Tatum squeals again, interrupting him.
“Quiet, Tatum,” Mom scolds.
“Yes, Riley?” his morning sidekick Ellie says.
“There’s a new artist making her way into the music world. She’s not a stranger to the limelight, though. She has a very famous brother.” We all glance at Beau, and Jules rolls her eyes. “I mean, this artist has a very famous last name. She’s not only the younger sister of one of the hottest movie stars on the planet, Beau Stark, but her last name holds great respect in the music industry.”
“Ohhh, Beau Stark, he’s so dreamy,” Ellie says over the speakers, eliciting another eye roll from Jules.
“Yes, Ellie, every girl’s fantasy, right?” Riley says dreamily.
“Oh my God, I just threw up in my mouth,” Jules says under her breath a little too loudly.
“But this young woman is ready t
o make a name for herself, and we’ve even heard rumors she’s caught the eye of music’s it boy, Hunter Daniels.” Hunter pulls his hat low and smirks.
“Stop being so secretive,” Ellie chimes in. “Who is this mystery girl?”
“Well, let me just tell you. The pictures we are already seeing circulating on the scene—this girl is stunning and could rightfully rival her brother in the category of Hottest Hollywood Stars. I’ve heard her track and can tell you her voice is just as beautiful as her face.”
My mom starts waving her hand, like come on, get to it already. She leans over and whispers to my dad, “He’s really pumping our little girl up.”
“We did make some pretty kids, Melody.” Dad beams. She smiles and looks at all four of us sitting around each other.
“So, music world, get ready. You are getting the exclusive debut from the new it girl, Shay Stark, and her beautiful song ‘Moon and Stars.’”
Everyone sits in anticipation as my voice floats through millions of radios around the world.
It starts playing, and Tatum and Jules jump up and down, Beau leans my chair back and kisses my forehead, and Tristan follows. My mom dives down and wraps her arms around me, and Dad stands off to the side, arms folded, and smiles.
“Ready for the big time?” Hunter asks. I look over at him and let out a shaky breath while picturing Jace all alone, missing this moment he desperately wants to be a part of. Our song plays out, and my dad shuts off the sound after the others go on and on about how awesome my song is.
“You wrote that for Jace when you were like twelve?” Tatum says dreamily.
“Yes, I started writing it then.”
“You guys are like so meant to be!” she says, sighing loudly.
“Don’t ever try to write a song for a guy, Tatum,” Tristan says. “Your voice sucks next to Shay’s.” He laughs and nudges Beau in the stomach. Beau gives him a pointed look, and Tristan looks away with his shoulders lifting a little, suppressing a laugh.
“I don’t have a bad voice,” she pouts.
“You don’t have a good one either,” Tristan says, earning a slap on the back of his head from Beau.
Questionable Love (A Love Beyond Labels #2) Page 16
