by Dalia Wright
“That’ll be your room.” Jen pointed to a small room on the left where Dylan was packing up his own backpack. Sarah felt guilt tug at her. I’ll convince him to let me take the couch later. She told herself as she went into the other room, the one on the right, with Jen.
She looked around at the small room.
There was a bed, a dresser, and a mirror. But mostly there were just clothes all over the floor.
“Anything that’s folded is clean,” Jen said. “you’re welcome to try any of it on if you like it.”
Sarah stared down at everything, trying to take in all the colors and the prints as Jen made her way over to a closet and pulled it open. Sarah’s jaw dropped as she stared at even more clothing.
“You have so much.”
It must have cost her a fortune to buy all this. Sarah had heard girls sometimes spent $300 or even $400 on a single garment or pair of shoes.
“I like shopping,” Jen laughed softly. “of course, with how much I like doing it I can only afford to shop second hand, but that’s okay with me. I get some good deals like that.”
Jen reached into one of the pockets of the closet and grabbed a handful of things. She turned back to Sarah and closed the distance between them. “Here.”
Sarah took the clothes that Jen held out for her. Jen stepped past her and made her way to the door, closing it.
Sarah stared down at the folded clothing. It had to be at least a dozen items. She set the pile down on the bed and picked up the first thing on the stack of clothes.
“Oh, you’ll need pantyhose for that.” Jen crossed over to her dresser and opened the top drawer as Sarah stared down at the ultra-short skirt. Her heart did a back flip as she thought about actually wearing it. What would my parents say if they ever so me in something like this?
“Here.” Jen handed her a pair of black tights. They would keep her legs covered.
Sarah bit her lip. She didn’t want to miss any chance to experience the English world. I mean, I’m here. I should at least take advantage of it, right?
Half an hour later Sarah and Jen stepped out of Jen’s room. Sarah wore a black skirt, pulled all the way up to her belly button with a belt around it. ‘For fashion’ as Jen had put it when she handed the item to Sarah. She wore a bright teal top, and even with the black leggings on she felt like she was showing more skin than she had since she was a baby.
“We’ll have to see if you can slip into my shoes, but it looks like you’re a size or two smaller.” Jen said, but Sarah didn’t pay much attention. Jen had offered her one of her old bras, and Sarah was still getting used to the wire that was pressed against her chest.
When she’d looked at herself in the mirror she hardly recognized herself.
“Wow.”
Dylan’s voice sent a chill down Sarah’s spine. She’d forgotten he was here. Her cheeks burned as Jen sat down on the couch beside him.
“She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?”
“I’d say.” Dylan gave her a soft smile.
“Thank you,” Sarah said softly, circling around the coffee table and sitting down in a chair. She was used to having to sit in a dress, but this skirt was short and, despite the fact Jen promised no one would be able to see anything, Sarah was very conscious of how she sat down in it. She crossed her legs and looked around. “for everything. I mean,” She looked at Jen. “I don’t know what I’d have done if I hadn’t met you.”
Jen blushed. “I’m just glad I could help.”
They spent the night inside. Sarah knew a lot about the English world, or so she had thought. As it turned out she still had quite a bit to learn her new friends were happy to help her figure everything out.
They ordered pizza, popped popcorn in a microwave and put a movie on. After that, Sarah got a crash course in computers, and when she lay her head down on the pillow in the guest room (having lost to Dylan in an friendly fight about who would take the couch) she felt like she was almost a new person.
“Are you sure you won’t want a ride?” Dylan asked.
“Yes, but thanks for offering.”
“You know, I don’t mind if you want to say ‘danka’ instead.”
Sarah paused, staring at him. She had never thought that someone would tell her that. A smile speed over her lips. “Thank you.”
Without another word Sarah headed out the door. The truth was, she needed a little time to herself to process everything. The night before she had learnt so much, but she knew there was so much more to learn.
Her mind buzzed as she made her way to Johns. This time, she didn’t knock. She entered the house quietly, he hadn’t called her like he said he would which left her worried about him.
“I just don’t get why you don’t send her home or something.” Amy said.
“It’s not that simple, Am’s. I’m supposed to marry her.”
“And you haven’t told her the truth?
The truth? What was she talking about?
“No, and you’re not going to either. This is my choice, and Sarah can’t know.”
My mind raced. I stood there, the door slipping out of my hand as a gust of wind caught it.
Smack.
My heart skipped a beat as the door slammed closed.
“What was that?” John snapped.
Sarah’s heart did a backflip. I’ve got to get out of here! She spun on her heel, yanking the door open as she head John’s footsteps. She fled out the door and down the stairs as fast as she could. The skirt she wore today felt constricting against her, but she didn’t care. She ran.
“Sarah!” She heard him call after her but she didn’t stop. She ran as fast as she could to get away from that house. To get away from his voice. He’s been lying. For how long? Why would he lie to her? What could he be lying to her about?
Sarah ran until her legs ached. She wasn’t even sure where she was, but when she came to a stop she looked around. It looked like she was down town.
Panic set in. She didn’t know how she had gotten here, or how to get back. She didn’t know Jen’s address. But I have her number. And what if Jen didn’t answer? Then she’d be stuck calling until she got an answer- who knows how long that would be.
Gott, please give me strength. She prayed as she headed towards a payphone. Tentatively she reached for the phone and picked it up. It rang twice before someone picked up.
“Hello?”
Sarah’s heart skipped a beat.
“Dylan.” She let out a soft breath.
“What’s wrong?”
“I… don’t know where I am.” Sarah took a deep breath trying to focus herself. “I mean, I’m… down town maybe? There are lots of people…”
“Can you see any street signs?”
Sarah looked around. “Um… Block? And 13th?”
“Alright, just… I’ll be there in a few.” He didn’t sound happy at all about it.
“I can-” Without another word the phone line went dead. He must have hung up on me. She was going to tell him that he could just give her directions. Sarah exited the phone booth and looked around. There was a lot around, but most of it didn’t peak her interest at all. Most of it looked like clothing stores, and there were some café’s. Sarah headed towards the closets one. If Dylan was going to come pick her up the least she could do was buy him a coffee.
Chapter Four
“Danka for picking me up,” Sarah’s cheeks flushed. She felt so foolish needing Dylan to come pick her up. “I got this for you.” She handed him the coffee she had spent $8 on. She wasn’t even sure if it would be good, or if that was the normal price for coffee but it seemed a little high if you asked her. She still payed the price.
“Danka.” He took the coffee from her and took a sip.
Sarah turned to stare at him with wide eyes. She couldn’t believe that he had just used that word.
“And it was no trouble, I was just sitting there watching TV anyways.”
They turned down the street and Sarah stared out the window
, watching as they passed people and stores.
“So,” Dylan cleared his throat. “do you want to talk about what happened?”
What was there to even say? Sarah took a deep breath. “I went over there to surprise him,” She really should be figuring out that it’s a bad idea. “And he was talking to one of his friends… he’s been lying to me.”
“About what?”
“I… I don’t know, honestly.” She felt silly saying it, but it was the truth.
Dylan made a noise but didn’t say anything else until they turned into a parking lot. Sarah looked around, the beach was in front of them. She turned to Dylan, opening her mouth.
“Come on, let’s go for a walk.” He said, opening his door and stepping out of the car without another word. He slammed the door shut before Sarah opened her door and jumped out, running after him.
“Wait,” She called. “Where are we going?”
Dylan held his arm out to her. Tentatively Sarah took it, allowing him to lead her down to the beach. Sarah hadn’t been to a beach since she was little. There was a small lake where they went swimming back home, but it wasn’t sandy or clear- not like this beach was.
“Are you going to break up with him?”
Sarah’s cheeks flushed. “No. There’s no need for that, we’re not actually together.”
“I thought…” He trailed off, waiting for her to fill him in on the details.
The breeze whipped around them, blowing strands of brown hair from Sara’s bun. “We’re not officially together. See, we’ve known all our life that we were going to be married.”
“You mean, it’s like an arranged marriage?”
“Not… quite. Growing up, my m-” Sarah paused. Just use Amish words, he already said he didn’t mind. “my maemm said that it was like I already knew my role in life. Like Gott had showed me the second John and I met. Growing up, playing house… I was his wife. No one else’s, ever. I was given my path by Gott a long time ago.”
Dylan nodded, like he understood everything she had just said. “I see. So you don’t think… that God can change those plans for you?”
Sarah’s brow furrowed as they walked. She was suddenly very aware of how close he was to her, and his warm arm where her fingers held onto him. “I don’t see why he would do that. Do you believe in… God?” It felt strange to say it the English way.
“I do yes. For the longest time, I thought I had my path, too. I thought I was meant to be alone.”
“You don’t think that anymore?”
“No.”
They walked together in silence for a few minutes. Sarah watched as people enjoyed the sunny weather and children played in the water. She felt yarning tug at her gut. The yarning to return home, or to be a child again. Things were much less complicated. She thought blowing out a deep breath.
Although she wasn’t alone the walk helped to clear her mind, and in its own way it was nice to have someone with her while she walked. It wasn’t until they had made their way across the beach and started to climb a hill that Dylan spoke.
“So, explain this whole Amish thing to me.”
“What?”
“I mean, I read up on it last night. Shouldn’t you be, like, married or something by now? How old are you?” For a split second when Sarah turned to him he looked worried.
“17.”
“Oh, good.” Dylan stopped walking.
“Why is that good?” Sarah placed her hands on her hips?
“Well if you were younger than that, I’d feel pretty bad about kissing you.”
Sarah’s jaw dropped. She stared at Dylan as he closed the distance between them. He reached out, his hand touching her waist gently.
“Is it okay for me to kiss you?”
Sarah stared at him blankly. Her mind scrambled to say something, but words escaped her. She just stood there. Do something! A small nod. That would be enough.
And it was
Dylan smiled as he saw her nod, his eyes locked on her and his free hand reached out, touching her cheek ever so gently. Sarah had never been kissed before. She had no clue what she was supposed to do- not really.
Dylan’s warm lips touched her gently. The fingers that brushed her cheek moved back, tangling into her hair as his lips pressed against hers. His kiss deepened as moan, ever so soft, passed through Sarah’s lips. Her heart raced as he lips moved against his, returning his kiss.
Dylan pulled away from her. His eyes sparkled as he placed one more soft kiss on her lips and cleared his throat, stepping away from her as he did so.
Sarah wanted to protest. Suddenly she wanted him close to her.
“So, this whole Amish thing…”
“Wh-what about it?”
“Well, why aren’t you guys married yet?”
Sarah’s cheeks flushed. It wasn’t uncommon for someone her age not to be married. “John had some personal issues to deal with last year.” Sarah turned away from him, guilt tugging at her stomach as she thought of John. She was supposed to be marrying him and here she was kissing another man!
“And now? Are those issues dealt with?”
“I believe so…” Sarah had to admit that she didn’t know. She couldn’t help thinking about what she’d overheard earlier. “But there is something he’s not telling me.”
“Are you going to ask him about it?”
“Maybe.”
Sarah knew that she wasn’t his wife, or even his girlfriend, and she had no right to expect him to answer her, but it would be nice to know what he had been hiding from her. I deserve that much, don’t I?
Sarah turned away from Dylan and made her way up the hill, he followed her silently but she could feel his eyes on her the entire time. At the top of the hill she sat down, looking out at everything in front of her. It was gorgeous.
Dylan sat down beside her, reaching out and taking her hand. Their fingers tangled together.
Gott… Sarah thought. Please guide me. I am in need of help now more than ever. I just kissed a man who I hardly know. He’s an Englisher! As if that somehow made it worse. Guide me, please because I don’t know what to make of any of this. John… John lying to me… him not calling me today… and Dylan kissing me. Was it a test?
If it had been she had failed. She’d allowed herself to be kissed by him.
“Excuse me,” A man said behind them. Sarah turned to see him. He looked like he was a few years older than her father, with grey hair and big round glasses. He wore a black spring coat- but more than his looks it was his camera Sarah noticed. “I couldn’t help noticing you two as you walked up here and I have to say; you two look absolutely in love. May I take a picture of you two? Just from the back.”
“Uh.” Dylan was left speechless, and so was Sarah.
We look in love?
They weren’t supposed to look in love! They hardly knew each other!
The camera band swayed in the wind, the keychain moving along with it. Sarah gasped. The yellow and green star was something she had seen all her life.
The man turned to her, confusion written all over his face.
“Sir, beg my pardon for being rude but, were you raised on an Amish community? I just ask because your keychain-”
“I was.” The man cut her off. He studied her for a few seconds. “And I’m willing to bet you were as well.”
“Jah.” Sarah let her nature take over, a soft grin spreading over her lips. The man returned her grin.
Sarah cleared her throat, realizing she hadn’t given him an answer. “To answer your question, jah you may take a picture of us.”
“Danka, ma’am.” His eyes twinkled as he spoke.
Sarah forced herself to turn back the way she had been sitting. She moved closer to Dylan. A chill ran down her spine as he reached out, touching the small of her back ever so gently, and high enough to show his respect for her.
Sarah closed her eyes, leaning against his shoulder softly. She blew out a deep breath of relaxation.
Gott, why
does this feel so right if I am meant to be with John? It wasn’t God who answered her, it was Dylan’s voice in her head that made her heart skip a beat. “So you don’t think… that God can change those plans for you?”
Was it possible for God to change his plans for someone? Or had one man always been Sarah’s life path? If it hadn’t been for John she wouldn’t have come here in the first place. And now, here she was with Dylan. How else would we have met?
“Danka,” The man said behind them. Sarah turned quickly to see him standing behind them. “For allowing me to take your picture, and for allowing me to use words I grew up with as a kinner.”
With a nod he left Dylan and Sarah alone.
“What’s kinner mean?” Dylan asked after a couple seconds.
“Child.”
“Oh,” Dylan nodded. “So, do you learn… English in school?”
“My maemm taught me most of what I know. She was English.”
“She was?”
“She met my deatt while he was working one day, with his deatt. They ran a furniture shop together. Maemm, and her mother, came in one day to buy a table. Maemm says that her mother knew the second they maemm and deatt saw each other that they were meant to be. So every week my Grohsmammi would find an excuse to go there. Until finally, my deatt asked if they’d like to join himself and his father at an event one night. Grohsmammi answered before meamm had a chance to.”
“So… it’s not uncommon for… an English person to join your community? It’s not frowned upon?”
“Nee, it’s not common,” She saw the look of disappointment cross his face, then she realized why he had asked. Her heart did a back flip. “but it’s not frowned upon. My community believes that Gott has a plan for all of us, and that sometimes he does not work the way you think. If Gott has sent someone a wife, or husband, who is not from the community we do not judge.”
Dylan nodded, taking it all in.
They spent the entire day up on that hill. It felt like they had known each other for years by the time they made their way back down and to the car. The drive home wasn’t long, but they did stop to grab Chinese food for dinner.
