by Dalia Wright
The gravel roads were empty and clear of cars and buggies as Emma steered her own buggy down the Stones’ driveway. Thankfully, the crisp breeze along the with scenic view of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains towering in the distance, provided distraction from her nerves and uneasy stomach. The three story house was impressive, but in desperate need of some love and care from the dead shrubbery and flowers everywhere. Emma left her beloved mare to graze in the field next to the barn; as a courtesy Trey had told her to let her horse graze wherever. She carried the basket of warm food up to the back porch, reaching inside the pocket of her skirt for the extra key Trey had given her to unlock the kitchen door.
The smell of scrambled eggs and kafe immediately swept over Emma. The haus was dim, many of the curtains still closed. Unwashed dishes cluttered the counter and table as Emma gently scooted over a crusty frying pan in order to set her basket down. It was clear that there had been quite a rush to get out of the door earlier that morn.
The floorboards gave a faint groan as Emma walked to the kitchen window, opening the curtains to allow fresh light in. She caught sight of a fine layer of dust on the window sill, among other pieces of furniture. Her hand extended to grab a bowl of warm milk and soggy cereal from the table, but the sound of a car engine rumbling down the driveway caught her attention.
Emma’s heart gave a strange flutter that she attributed to nerves when she recognized Trey’s lean form slipping out from behind the driver’s wheel. He gave a friendly wave before opening the passenger door to retrieve Chloe and Paisley. Two curly blonde heads immediately darted across the lawn to where Emma stood on the back porch, hands tucked behind her apprehensively.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Emma said once Trey reached the porch as well. “I can go if you need me to. I—”
“No,” Trey cut in over her, offering a sheepish smile. “I just wanted to make sure that you got inside the house okay. There was supposed to be someone to pick the girls up from school today, but she didn’t show up.”
His clothes were tattered and covered in what smelt like saw dust and oil, and a faint smudge of dirt on his sharp cheek bone from when he reached up to rub his face.
“If you don’t mind, please stay,” he continued on. “I took a lunch break, so I have to go back to work anyway.”
“Dad, can we have ice cream for a snack?” Chloe spoke up then, peering at Trey from behind Emma’s skirts.
“Only if you listen to Emma,” he replied, giving his oldest daughter a stern gaze. “And I’ll make sure to ask her when I get home, if you behaved or not.”
Chloe scowled at him before taking a hold of Paisley’s hand. They disappeared into the kitchen, their voices echoing from within the house. Emma’s fingers twisted her apron string anxiously as she stared down at the floorboards. She had no idea why she was acting so irrationally around Trey. It was a small measure of comfort when she glanced up through her eyelashes to see him fidgeting nervously as well.
“Well, thanks again,” Trey said a bit uneasily as he shifted from foot to foot. “I realize how awkward this is, but I really think the girls can use someone around. It’s only been a couple of months since my wife passed away. Chloe is having a harder time with it.”
“I’m sure she’ll be just fine. I’ll make sure that they are fed and in bed before you are home,” Emma said kindly.
“I hope you can get them into bed by eight,” Trey sighed. “I can’t even get Paisley to take a nap during the day when I’m home.”
True to her word, Emma managed to tuck both girls into their bed by 8 o’clock, after spending the evening cleaning up the house, and eating a full dinner that clearly made them full and sleepy. She lingered in Paisley’s room, staring down at the blissfully sleeping toddler curled up around a stuffed animal with a small smile. She smoothed a finger down the curve of Paisley’s soft cheek with a wistful sigh before leaving the room to clean what she could before Trey arrived.
The back door opened at 9:30 exactly as Emma was drying the last plate out of the sink. Trey blinked several times as he took in the clean and spotless kitchen.
“You didn’t have to clean,” he said, clearly pleased with how clean it was. “I know it was a mess because I was in such a rush to get the girls to school and daycare this morning.”
“I don’t mind at all,” Emma said, setting the plate back in the cupboard. “The girls helped more than anything. They were quite the little helpers actually.”
“And they’re in bed asleep?”
At Emma’s nod, Trey let out a whistle of amazement. He smiled brightly at her, revealing a set of white and straight teeth.
“You’re Heaven sent,” he said. “Seriously, I really appreciate you taking this job. It’s so hard to find people you can trust with your kids. You probably know how that feels too.”
Emma dropped her gaze before tears could well up visibly in front of Trey. That had been one of the worst feelings after Harley’s passing; realizing that her dreams of having family weren’t going to happen. She wanted a bobli, a little blessing from Gott, just as much as Harley had at the time.
“Emma?”
She looked up at the concern in Trey’s voice. He stared at her with a faint frown marring his brow.
“I don’t have any children at the moment,” she explained softly. “I want children though.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I— oh.”
Their eyes met as understanding passed across Trey’s face.
“You lost your husband,” he said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think to ask any personal questions. I didn’t know if you would want to answer any of them.”
“It’s all right,” Emma said, gathering her basket full of clean dishes. She didn’t know what to do besides ask, “Will you want me to come by tomorrow as well?”
“If you don’t mind,” Trey replied cautiously.
“I don’t.”
She started to make her way to the back door when Trey stopped her before she could reach it.
“Here.” He handed over money, sliding it into the palm of her hand.
Their hands briefly brushed, and a jolt of heat went up Emma’s arm. “Do you need me to take you home?”
“Nee. I will be fine.”
Emma gladly stepped out into the dark night to hurry to the field where her mare was still happily grazing. She was thankful then to put some distance between herself and Trey. The man had unsettled her, and while the alarm in her mind warned her that this could not end well, Emma knew she would be back tomorrow.
Ch.5
In the following weeks, Emma spent her afternoons and evenings with the Stone children, but found herself lingering later to chat with Trey. Somehow, they both had gotten into the habit of her staying to fix him an extra plate of food, and spending a few hours talking until they were both exhausted from their days. A genuine friendship had developed between them, in the most interesting of ways, by Emma’s constant presence in the Stone household. Their pleasant conversations provided a distraction from the strange bouts of headaches and upset stomachs that plagued Emma every day for hours at a time.
The rides back to her haus were lonely, and the bed even colder as the Autumn nights threatened to turn into Winter ones. She barely found the energy to chop wood for the wood stove, so Emma bundled up warmly as possible at night.
It was a chilly Saturday afternoon when the sound of footsteps coming down the gravel road distracted Emma from her task of stacking a little bit of wood. She set the axe down next to the chopping log before rounding the corner of her haus to find Trey striding down the road through the overcast and cold afternoon.
Concern immediately shot through her. While her community interacted with the English all time, even working for various local business around Monte Vista, it was still disconcerting to see Trey on her land.
“What’s wrong?” she asked anxiously the moment Trey was in earshot. “Are the girls okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” Trey assured. “My pa
rents are in town, and they are visiting with the girls. I was taking a walk to clear my head. I saw your farm, and thought I could stop by.”
“Ach.”
Trey shoved his hands into the front pocket of his jeans. “I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”
“No,” Emma replied, fidgeting with the string of her apron. “I was just stacking wood for the wood stove.”
“You were chopping wood?” Trey repeated dubiously.
He ran a sweeping gaze over Emma’s frame, and it took all of her self-control not to shield herself from him. There was nothing intimate in Trey’s gaze, but it was intimidating by all accounts from the intensity of it. His gaze settled on her pale and sweaty face.
“Where’s the wood at?”
Emma opened her mouth to argue, but he held up a hand to silence her. “I don’t want to hear it. It’s the least I can do for all the cooking and cleaning you do in my house without me asking.”
“You pay me to do that though,” she said.
“And I also like to think we are friends too,” Trey countered steadily. “I know how hard it is to lose a spouse when they were in charge of certain things, and you’ve helped me greatly with that gap. I can help you with yours.”
Gratefulness surged through Emma. While her community was helpful in their own right, it was also still so hard to interact with them. Losing Harley had been a true test of faith, but living without him was an even harder one. No matter how hard Emma prayed to seek guidance, everything seemed so bleak and far away.
That was until Trey and his children.
The observation registered in Emma’s mind as she led Trey to the back of the haus. Maybe Gott had brought these strangers into her life for some sort of test. They seemed to accept her presence happily every day she interacted with them. Especially, Paisley who clung to Emma’s skirts or hand everywhere they went.
She wordlessly fixed Trey a cup of kaffe and a sandwich while he chopped wood without pause. The stack of wood had drastically doubled with Trey chopping for less than an hour.
“Thank you,” Emma said, offering both items for him to enjoy. “I’m afraid I don’t have much physical strength lately.”
Their hands brushed when Trey accepted them; her stomach fluttered for a moment at their contact.
“Chloe mentioned to me that she heard you being sick the other day,” Trey said.
Emma looked away to the mountains to avoid Trey’s studious gaze. He had such an unnerving way of making her feel exposed even though she wasn’t.
“I hope you’re not ill from the buggy rides at night,” he continued on. “If you are, I don’t want you to keep coming to the house until you feel better.”
She shook her head. “My stomach has been queasy for a while, but it has nothing to do with working for you. I adore those girls, so I will find something to help me if it eases your mind.”
“It does,” Trey said. “Do you mind if we sit so I can enjoy this coffee and sandwich?”
They settled on the front porch where there were two chairs to rock in. The chill of the afternoon didn’t seem to bother either of them as they chatted amiably about whatever came to mind.
“I have to say, it is beautiful out here,” Trey said, sitting back in the rocking chair with a sigh. “My parents live in the city on the East Coast. They’ve been enjoying the scenic drives with the girls.”
“Do you miss the city?” Emma asked curiously.
Trey stared across the field in contemplation. “Sometimes,” he said, eventually, “but it’s a lot to deal with - the city. When my wife died, I knew that I needed some peace along with the girls. I sold my business right after she passed, and thought a fresh start would do wonders.”
The sadness in his tone matched the same ache in Emma’s heart.
“It hasn’t done wonders for you yet,” she stated softly.
To her surprise, Trey suddenly turned to look at her with a small smile. There was a different light to his eyes, a sort of longing that instantly stirred up those flutters in Emma’s stomach. She felt so torn between feeling ashamed of them, but also accepting of Harley’s blessing to move on with her life.
“It has,” he said. “I met you, and that’s been an experience.”
Emma’s heart thrummed loudly in her chest. Heat spread throughout her body fast, warming her chilled fingers instantly. This is wrong, a part of her cautioned. She had joined the church shortly before marrying Harley. This wasn’t rumspringa, or being young and foolish, but it was so hard to deny the pull she felt deep within her when it came to Trey giving her that smile.
“I hope it has been a good experience,” she managed to say.
Trey’s smile only widened. He reached out, hesitating for a moment, before cool and calloused fingertips gently touched the skin of her cheek.
“It has,” he whispered.
She barely heard the creak of the rocking chair over the pounding of her heart when Trey leaned over to close the gap between them. She was utterly paralyzed from the conflicted emotions coursing through her.
The barest hint of kaffe and pine fanned over Emma’s lips when the fingers tracing her cheekbone curved to cup the side of her neck. Her eyes slipped closed of their own accord.
The whinnying of a horse followed by the steady crunch of buggy wheels on gravel doused Emma in cold water. She jerked back from Trey to spot John sitting stiffly with the reins of his horse clutched tightly in his hands as he approached them. The pit of Emma’s stomach twisted into dreadful knots that immediately brought back her queasiness.
John’s cool gaze swept over Trey. While he was careful to keep whatever emotions he felt masked, Emma could see the angry twitch in his lips.
“Gut afternoon,” John said, dismounting from the buggy with a graceful hop. He strode up to the porch of Emma’s haus as she hastily stood up to intercept him.
“I don’t believe we’ve met yet,” he said, breezing by Emma to hold up a hand to Trey. “I’m John King. I’ve heard that you bought the farm behind the Bylers’.”
Trey shook his hand, clearly not phased by John’s cool attitude. “I did. I’ve even met Isaac and Sarah a few weeks. Their little girls play with my two girls.”
“Wunderbar,” John said, and his tone suggested other wise. “Emma, your Da suggested I come help you with the firewood.”
“Ach, I—” Emma started, but it was Trey who spoke over her.
“I helped chop wood. It’s the least I can do since Emma has been helping take care of my two girls during the evenings.”
John’s eyes immediately swiveled to where Emma stood anxiously on the front porch step. “Ah, that explains where Emma has been during the evenings, and why she has been so tired in the mornings when I do see her.”
An awkward silence hung the air. Emma stared down at the ground as she tried to think of a way to excuse herself. Luckily, it was Trey who did it for her.
“I better get back to the house,” he said. “Pleasure to have met you, John King.”
John gave a tense nod as Trey passed by Emma down the porch steps. Her heart nearly leapt out of her throat when she felt his hand quickly squeeze her forearm before walking past John without sparing him a glance.
“Forgive me, John, but I am not feeling well,” Emma said, starting to the front door before John could say a word. “I appreciate you coming out here to help, but I don’t need any at the moment.”
“Emma—”
She shut the door, cutting his words off. Tears blurred Emma’s sight as she sat down on the bottom step to wrap her arms around her knees.
“Gott, please help me see,” she whispered to the emptiness around her.
Ch. 6
Emma rose early again two days later, after a sleepless night of tossing and turning. Her stomach had at least emptied itself twice throughout the night, and the headache she had so furiously worked to get rid of, came back with a vengeance. Brewing herself a nice cup of tea, Emma sat in front of the wood stove to warm hersel
f up again from the cold that always seemed to cling to her.
Somehow, by miracle, John had either not mentioned what he stumbled upon the other day with her and Trey, or her parents had had little time yesterday with church to ask her, which gave Emma some much needed quiet time before facing Trey later in the evening.
Her heart had never felt so heavy with unease. It had been three months since Harley had passed into Gott’s Kingdom. Emma knew her mann meant what he had said to John about her moving on, but the problem now lay with her indisputable attraction for Trey. He had almost kissed her on the front porch. She had almost kissed him back because she wanted it, too.
And all of it was wrong. Emma had taken her vows of joining the church seriously after spending years exploring rumspringa, but somehow she found herself back to wondering if it had been the right choice. She and Harley had only been eighteen years old when they joined the church; they were married two years later with hopes of raising a family. Now, she was faced with a growing attraction for an English man who understood her grief better than anyone else.
A curt knock filled the living room. Just as Emma expected when she peeked out through the living room curtains, it was her maemm standing in front of the front door dressed in a navy colored dress and white kapp. She opened the door with a small bit of trepidation.
“Gut morning,” Mary said. “May I come in?”
“Of course.”
The morning chill swept into the haus on the skirts of her maemm’s dress. They ended up in the kitchen without exchanging a glance or word. Years of conversations always seemed to lead them into the kitchen. It was where Mary Zook felt her best.
“Would you like some tea, Ma?” Emma asked, sweeping over to the sink to fill the kettle with water. “I can brew us a cup if you’d like, or some kafe.”
“Tea would be nice,” Mary replied. “Here, let me do it. You are pale as a ghost this morning.”
Her maemm’s fingers swept the kettle away from Emma’s grasp before she could argue.
“Have you given any more thought to working at the bakery with me?” she asked.
