by A. E. Murphy
“Fuck! Ouch! What the hell?” She returned to eating, not even removing her eyes from the TV. “That hurt.” Again she didn’t acknowledge me.
I tried again a couple of times, getting the same result, before standing and walking to the fridge.
“Thirsty?” I asked, hearing her crunch her food.
“No.”
“No thank you,” I corrected, but again I got no response.
I snuck behind her, crouching low, feeling like the guy out of Mission Impossible.
I thought for sure she couldn’t hear me.
And again I was wrong. This time the spoon hit me on the head. “You’re not having it.”
Ouch. I rubbed the sore spot on my scalp and moved back to my seat. It was pointless. She was too quick.
So I stole her cereal and the spoon.
I think back to that moment and remember I didn’t actually want to change the channel. I just wanted her attention and I got it. The second I stole her cereal, she started shouting at me, telling me to get my own before she went to make herself another bowl.
I laughed the entire time.
Maybe I do love her.
I remember at that point in time having a warm feeling in my chest as she chastised me and stropped in the kitchen, slamming doors and angrily searching through the drawer for another spoon.
I guarded myself and shifted away just in case she decided to try and beat me again. It was strange because it hurt like hell but it was too cute for me to try and stop.
We made love that night.
I remember touching her slowly, admiring her body, kissing every inch of her. I remember lying back and letting her do the same.
Her sighs, whimpers and moans still float through my mind, the way she’d fall completely silent when in the middle of an orgasm.
Mum snatches the remote back, jolting me from my thoughts. It’s strange what random things trigger random memories.
I wonder if it’s like this between Diplock and Shannon. I wonder what I would do if I were married at this point. I’d like to think I’d be faithful and be able to resist Eloise’s charms and spirit, but I can’t imagine ever feeling so strongly for anyone else. I think if I were married my feelings towards Eloise would shadow every other feeling I ever had for my life partner.
She’s the worst kind of distraction and I’m not even sure she knows it.
That makes me sad, knowing I’ll never love on a level that will ever make another woman happy and I’m not sure why I’ve fallen this way for one of my students. It seems so unfair that I’m going to be plagued with knowing that I can’t have her, even though I want her so badly.
“What’s wrong?” My mum asks, seeming to snap back to normal all of a sudden.
I shake my head and bring her hand to my lips. “Nothing. I’m perfectly fine.”
If only I could talk to her about it.
Chapter Twenty Six
Eloise
I fucking hate Valentine’s Day. It’s so depressing.
Eloise: Please change your mind and come to mine and eat chocolate with me.
Hayley: Ummm…. NO! I’m snuggling, sexing and getting my love on.
Eloise: What’s the point in having friends?
Hayley: Stop being morbid. I thought you were working anyway?
Eloise: Until nine. Can’t you get done sexing by then?
Hayley: Hella NOPE!! Love you, miss you and I will make it up to you. <3 <3 <3
I never used to care about Valentine’s Day but, after the past few weeks I’ve had, I really wish I had an Isaac to cuddle up to tonight.
A man I meant, not an Isaac.
He’s done nothing but blank me since that day, apart from when he gave me the exercise book I needed. He hasn’t spoken to me at all. He’s been professional.
I hate it.
I pop a piece of chocolate into my mouth and punch the paper heart that keeps swaying on the pink ribbon it’s dangling from the ceiling on.
Another thing I hate about Valentine’s Day: my new boss loves it, which means I had to decorate the taxi office with the other phone ladies.
Everybody is going out tonight and having fun. I’m seriously contemplating throwing myself off a building.
I answer the phone when it rings and instantly recognise the voice.
“Susanna?” I ask, booking her a taxi from Mr Price’s house.
“The one and only,” she giggles, sounding giddy and annoying like every other female with a hot date tonight.
“What are your plans for the evening?” I’ve never had much of a conversation with the woman but she’s always been so kind and friendly.
“I have a date!” She squeals. I pull the phone away from my ear. “I just finished work. Mr Price was nice enough to let me get ready here. It made no sense me going all the way to mine.”
“Well I’ll let you get on with your date.”
“Don’t you have any plans?”
I let out a sigh. “Nope, I’m flying miserably solo tonight.” Not really miserably; I can’t be arsed with men.
“What’s the address?”
It never occurred to me that it could be him. I guess I just assumed he didn’t like her that way, so when she says the address my mouth goes dry and my entire body convulses in pain. He can take her out to dinner in town, celebrate with her proudly clinging to his arm.
“Elle?”
“I’m here, sorry the computer wouldn’t log it. Two seconds.” I hate you. “Okay, that’s all booked for you. Have a great night!”
“We’re going to that place just outside of town. Apparently it’s packed though.”
Choke on lettuce!
Okay, so I’m a little bit hysterical. It’s okay. I’ll be fine. I just need to calm down. I just don’t understand how he can suddenly date and I can’t. What’s wrong with me? Nobody should be alone on Valentine’s Day.
“Have fun.” I hang up and bang my head against the desk over and over again until it throbs with a dull pain.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Katie, my friendly co-worker who wears too much perfume and not enough clothes for her age of forty five, asks.
“I don’t have a date.” I whine, banging my head one more time. “I’m the only one without a date.”
“Consider yourself lucky. Try having a husband,” she chuckles, patting me on the back of the head before stealing one of my chocolates. “I find it hard to believe a young, gorgeous girl like you didn’t get any offers though.”
I raise my head to look at her. “I’m recovering from heart break. I rejected one or two.”
“Oh…” She shakes her head. “That was silly. The best part of recovering from heart break is finding yourself a rebound. That’s how I met my husband.”
Blink. “I’ll, umm… remember that.”
“Wait… did he cheat on you?” Her eyes darken. “Because if he did, make sure your rebound is one of his friends. Preferably a close one.”
No way in hell am I getting mixed up with another teacher. “Thanks, I’ll remember that too.”
She’s insane. I kind of like it.
The phone rings again so we separate and get back to work.
Eloise: Find me a date!
Hayley: I found you three and you said no…
Eloise: I changed my mind. I want that cute guy with the dark hair and the thin moustache!
Hayley: He’s probably got a date already.
Eloise: I fucking hate my life.
Hayley: I’m sorry chicken :-( I’ll make it up to you tomorrow with hot fudge dipping sauce and shit load of marshmallows.
Eloise: This pleases me… just a little…
“I need a date. This is so depressing!” I announce dramatically to no one in particular.
And then comes a voice from the heavens. “I’ll take you out.”
“Holy fuck.” I stare at the hazel eyed, dark haired twenty year old and my mouth drops open. “Justin?”
He smiles that smile I’d never forgotten
. It was a lot cuter back in the day, as he had chubbier cheeks and no neatly trimmed and styled beard. Now it’s just handsome, so bloody handsome. “It’s been a while.”
“Yeah.” I can’t breathe. This is so awkward and so fucking exhilarating. “You never called.”
“Neither did you.” He leans on the counter and stares at me through the glass that separates us. “I forgive you though.”
“Hot mama,” Katie whistles and gives Justin a finger wag.
He waves back, his eyes not leaving mine. “So… fancy a catch up?”
“Why are you here and don’t you have plans? You must do if you’re in a taxi office.”
“I did, but I can cancel.”
Now I feel more awkward. “Don’t be stupid. Go have fun. Don’t go breaking your date’s heart.”
He throws his head back and laughs. “Same old Elle, saying one thing but having a tone that totally suggests another.” I do not do that. “Don’t pout. It reminds me of the time I stole your bike.”
“This pout got that bike back.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t steal bikes anymore.”
“You upgraded to cars?”
He laughs again. “I just got a job repainting that old building out on Trinity Road.”
“That’s my dad’s project.” I frown. “Did my dad send you here? Why are you back in town? Are you my pity date? Did he pay you?”
“Why the hell would he pay me? When he knew I was back in town, he threatened to chop my manhood off if I came near you.”
That does sound like something my dad would say to him.
He smiles softly. “So… fancy a catch up?”
“How convenient of you to show up tonight of all nights,” I mutter, but I’m not unhappy about it. “I have to work until nine.”
“No she doesn’t,” Katie says, smiling cheekily at me. “Leave the chocolates. You owe me that much.”
Now I’m excited. “Are you sure?”
“About the chocolates? Definitely.”
I hug the woman I’ve hardly acknowledged over the past few months and make a promise to myself that I’ll make more of an effort in the future. “I owe you.”
“Yes. Yes you do.” She winks at me and pops another piece of chocolate into her mouth.
Isaac
“It’s a really nice town, small but I kind of like that about it. It’s one of the reasons I moved here in the first place.” Susanna says and I take a large swig of my beer.
This place is packed to the brim. There are no tables left and the bar is full. I’m starting to wish I’d never come.
There’s fucking silver, red and pink ribbons and streamers hanging from the ceiling. It’s like walking through a thousand fly catchers. They didn’t raise them high enough and they keep falling the fuck down.
Susanna finds it funny when I pull one from my drink and yes, I’ll admit she’s rather pretty, but I’m just not feeling the chemistry.
“Yeah, I’m more of a city guy myself. I like the crowds and the multiple choices when it comes to restaurants and activities.” I respond as I should, smiling and making her feel like my attention is on her. It is, but I’m not as focused as I should be.
“Each to their own.” She shrugs, still smiling. Her eyes hold mine as she sips her drink. It reminds me of the time Elle did that and then spat the drink in my face in a large spray, all because I told her that her arse was large. It is large, but not in an overweight way, in a ‘hell that arse is fucking beautiful’ kind of way.
Her eyes wander to the door and I feel the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I feel her energy before I even see her. I can practically taste her scent on the air and I haven’t even gotten a whiff of it yet.
Fuck.
“Eloise is here,” Susanna says. I turn slowly and glance at the woman strolling in on the arm of a man I don’t recognise; if you can call him a man, that is. He can’t be much older than Eloise. She looks stunning in a tight black dress I’ve never seen before. It’s so fucking tight, down to mid-thigh, with a slit on one side showing her toned thigh. It has only one strap, which hangs loosely down her arm, bringing attention to the supple, beautifully curved breasts standing proudly from her chest. I think about the times I’ve traced that cleavage with my fingertips, dipping into the line into the centre. “Don’t you want to say hello?”
Nope, I’ve seen enough. I don’t want to see anymore.
“No.” I take her hand over the table, totally sending her the wrong signal. “I’m here with you.”
The two of them are led to a table only four places away from us. The card stating that it’s reserved is removed and the man with Eloise pulls her seat out for her as the waitress places the menus before them.
“I’ve never seen him before,” I say, tilting my head slightly.
Susanna smirks, her eyes hold a secret that I can tell is a secret I don’t want to know. “He’s my brother.”
Blink. “Your brother?”
“Yep, he just moved back to town. He’s an artist. He makes stained glass windows and is excellent with a paint brush.”
I need to know more. “How did he and Elle meet?”
“They’ve known each other years.” Her response is too fucking vague.
“I thought you just moved to town?” My tone is as pleasant and as curious as I can make it sound.
“Long story short, I lived with my dad in Sheffield. He lived with Mum because he was too young to decide. When he was sixteen they left town. Mum and Dad got back together and they came to live with us in Sheffield. He left school and went on to become a painter. He’s one of the lucky artists that made it.”
“But Elle doesn’t know you.”
“I’m five years older than Justin.” I hate his fucking name. “I moved in with my dad when I was twelve. He was only…”
“Seven.” I respond, annoyed that she thinks I can’t do simple math.
She seems to think I’m just taking an interest in what she has to say, or at least I think that’s it. She’s still got that strange twinkle in her eye. She catches her brother’s eye and waves. He waves back and that’s when Eloise turns.
She spots me and holds my eyes for a second. It may as well have been a year. I feel a rush running through me, even after she pulls her eyes from mine. She smiles and waves at us both before turning back to her date.
Date.
I fucking hate that word.
“They look good together,” I say bitterly, but Susanna doesn’t notice my tone. “They definitely look like they’re familiar.” I can see him playing with her fingers on the table as she reads through the menu. I watch as she giggles and quickly turns it into a game of thumb war. Only Elle… sigh.
“They were together a while ago, before he moved. I don’t know that much about it. I just know he brought the most adorable picture to Dad’s and kept it above his bed forever.”
Picture? They were together? “When did he move?”
“He was sixteen.” And Susanna is five years older than him, so she would have been twenty one, probably in University studying nursing. So if she’s now twenty four, that would make him nineteen.
He’s only a year or so older than Elle.
I hate him.
“When did he get into town?”
“I don’t know. He came into town when I told him about the old warehouse on Trinity, the one with that old clinic behind it.”
Fuck. “Elle’s dad is fixing it up, turning it into some kind of leisure centre.”
“That’s the one.”
I grit my teeth when I hear her laugh again, not Susanna, but Elle. I’m jealous. I can’t help it. I fucking hate this. I just want to leave, but I don’t think I can while she’s here with that arsehole.
“You look lost in thought.”
I look up at my date and shake my head. “No, I’m just hoping they add an ice skating rink.”
“Oh my gosh, you totally read my mind.” I did? “I love ice skating.”
; Eloise
I push my plate away, my stomach stuffed with delicious foods.
“At least you still eat like you used to. I was worried you’d become one of those salad junkies.”
I laugh. I’ve been doing that a lot tonight. It’s probably the wine going straight to my head. “Food is one of the best pleasures of life. As long as you don’t abuse it, there’s no reason to not indulge on occasion.”
He brings my hand to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. “You really haven’t changed that much. You look older and you’re definitely more mature but… you’re still so quirky.”
“You got taller.” I sip my drink, winking at him playfully.
“I got taller… is that it?” He pouts, putting on the puppy dog look, still holding my hand in his. “Just taller?”
“You grew a beard?”
Now he laughs hard. “Quirky.”
I feel Isaac’s eyes on me again but I can’t be bothered to feel bad about it. Not tonight. I’m having too much fun.
“Do you want to go?” I ask.
“Where do you want to go? The night is still young.”
Isaac’s eyes burn into my profile. How can he do that while he’s clearly with someone else? It’s unfair. I’ve left him alone all night. I have hardly looked his way.
Of course it has hurt when he’s laughed and made Susanna laugh. Of course it has hurt when he’s held her hand. It is fucking killing me, but there’s nothing we can do about it anymore.
He made the choice to move on and now so am I.
“I don’t mind. I’ll just use the restroom first.” Then I get a thought. “The corner?”
His eyes light, “The corner huh?”
“Yeah. We can go to the garage on the way and you can try and get served again.”
