Never having chopped wood in my entire life left me wondering if there was a technique or a method to the process. I scratched my head a moment, then pulled out a fir log that needed to be split, standing it up on end as I’d seen Sebastian do. Before my first swing I pulled the tennis ball I kept in my pocket out and threw it into the field for Nero. He blasted off after it and I had my chance to swing without fear of hitting my pup. I held the very end of the axe handle and gripped it like I would a baseball bat, then with one swing I brought it down, missing the log entirely and burying it into the dirt at my feet.
Rough laughter reached my ears and I spun to see Scout watching me, sitting at the gate. The dirty little bastard was laughing at my attempt. I flipped him off and he flapped his hands at me, as if egging me on. It was strange to see glimpses of a human personality inside what I viewed now as a large, predatory animal. They weren’t zombies and they weren’t mindless. They really did seem to act like a pack of wolves, hunting their food and sharing it amongst them. I’d even seen them eating shrubs and berries, though it didn’t seem to satisfy them any more than eating large amounts of meat. I let out a snort and tried again, this time giving the log a glancing blow. That’ll teach it. Yeah, right.
I took a deep breath, stared at the log right where I wanted to hit it and brought the axe down for a third time. The axe bit into the center of the fir, dividing it cleanly in half. I dropped the axe in surprise and then did a dance around the two pieces. Again laughter reached my ears, but I ignored Scout. This was a great moment, one I could be proud of. But with no one to share it with, it was more than a little bittersweet.
I chopped a few more pieces gaining proficiency until my hands began to hurt and blister, then proceeded to stack the wood in with the rest, throwing the ball in between stacking to keep Nero busy. Washing up with the water I’d pulled out of the well earlier, I went inside as the summer sun began to set, catching a glimpse of myself in the hallway mirror. I paused and really looked at myself. A few short weeks ago my life had been about ease and getting pregnant and now, I looked like a . . . I didn’t even know what I looked like. I was deeply tanned, something I’d avoided the last few years, my hair had already lightened, the dark brunette getting a good dose of red highlights, and from the mirror it looked as if I’d lost fifteen or twenty pounds. My clothes hung off my frame, no longer fitting me, something I hadn’t noticed with all the chaos. Even my face had slimmed, my cheekbones becoming more prominent, the shape of my face more defined.
I shook my head, what did it matter now? It wasn’t like we were going to have children or go on vacation somewhere warm where I could show off my body in a two-piece.
Three glasses of water and leftovers from breakfast, cold oatmeal and a half of what was my attempt to make pancakes the day before was what made up my lunch. Yum-my. Exhausted, I dropped onto the couch; fell asleep in minutes. But, not before I made sure my knife was tucked into the cushion beside me, and Nero was curled up behind my knees.
I dreamed about Sebastian, that we were on our long-awaited honeymoon. There was a beautiful blue ocean, clear to the bottom. Maybe the Caribbean or somewhere in Hawaii—I didn’t know and didn’t care, he wasn’t sick. I could see that even though he was down the beach from me, his skin was tanned and healthy, not a single yellow tinge on him.
I looked down at myself in, hell yeah, a two-piece and a white gauzy sarong around my now-slim hips, the kind the super models wear on a beach shoot. I looked up and Sebastian was gone.
“Bastian?” I said, my voice eaten up by the waves and the sound of the crashing surf.
“I’m here, babe.” He was behind me, his arms circling around my waist.
I leaned into him. “I thought you were gone.”
He kissed my temple and let go of me, I spun in the wet sand but he was already down the beach, walking slowly, bending every now and then to pick up something from the sand. I laughed and ran towards him, sprinting to cover the short distance. But no matter how hard I ran, no matter that he was only walking, I couldn’t catch him.
“Sebastian, wait for me,” I yelled, out of breath and no longer feeling so sexy.
He didn’t turn back, just kept on walking as if he couldn’t hear me, his broad back quickly disappearing into the distance.
“Sebastian!” I screamed, throwing myself out of the dream and off the couch, thumping hard on the wooden floorboards, Nero waking up with a snort.
Footsteps pattered on the porch out front, multiple feet running. Shit, shit, shit. I gulped down a breath and slid to the window, peeking up over the sill. There were four of them and one of me. This was not good, not good at all.
12
What felt like an eternity, yet was probably only ten seconds, passed as I tried to come up with a plan. The doors weren’t locked and the Nevermores didn’t seem to have the fine motor skills it would take to work the handle. But I had no doubt they would break glass trying to get at me.
“Thought you said there were people here.”
The man’s voice startled me and I nearly popped up and waved at what I realized with great relief were humans, not Nevermores. A tingle in my stomach held me to the ground though, waiting, Nero let out a low growl and I clamped my hand over his nose. “Shhh,” I whispered.
“I saw the bitch in my binoculars, she’s here somewhere. The big guy left this morning.”
A second man with a deeper tone spoke. “Come on, let’s get inside, that one at the front gate is staring at me, he’s creeping the bejeesus out of me.”
“Fine you pansy, in we go.”
I slithered along the floor and crawled over the couch to hide behind it, the gap just large enough for me to fit, Nero wiggling in beside me. No doubt he thought this was a new game.
As I slid into my hiding place the front door creaked open.
“Honey, I’m home!” They all laughed at that and I hugged my blade to my chest. I was trapped. As soon as they started looking I had no doubt they’d find me, at least the Nevermores would have just tried to kill me. I wasn’t fooling myself about what these men were after.
Footsteps drew closer and I tensed. A body flopped onto the couch and the rank smell of sweat and blood assaulted my nose, Nero started to growl, his wicked sharp puppy teeth showing under a curled up lip. I put my hand over his nose again and he quieted.
“Marty, go see if there’s any food in the joint—and make it snappy, I’m famished. Den, you go upstairs and find us our lady friend, and remember, I get first dibs,” the one with the deeper voice, the one on the couch, said.
Footsteps and grumbles receded and the leader leaned back resting his head on the well-padded cushions. He let out a fart, a belch, and then another fart, settling himself deeper into his seat. I pinched my nose, the smell was worse than the pig farm I’d visited last year. I held my breath, and then resorted to breathing through my t-shirt till the worst of it had passed.
“Hurry up, boys, I’m getting mighty hungry for dinner and desert. Luscious sweet pie.” He laughed and I crouched. I had a chance if I could catch them off guard, and if Scout was still at the gate, maybe I could use him. A plan started to form, and I knew I would have to act fast and use the element of surprise if it was going to work.
I stared up at the longish hair hanging over the back of the couch. Before I thought better of it, I stood, grabbed a handful of the greasy mop, and placed the blade of my knife up against the leader’s neck.
“I wouldn’t move or say a word unless I tell you. Got it?” I hissed at him, adrenaline pumping, nerves jangling like a trip wire.
He swallowed and his Adam’s Apple bobbed against the knife.
“Very slowly get up. Nothing tricky or I’ll slam this into you.” I leaned forward the same time he did, coming over the back of the couch without losing my grip on him or the knife. I had no intention of actually cutting him; I just wanted to get him close enough to the gate for Scout to grab him. After that, well, it was going to be dicey but I thought
it would work.
“Hey boss, found some . . . son of a bitch!” The one I surmised was Marty stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, his hands full of our canned food that was left, his mouth hanging open.
“Don’t just stand there, do something!” Leader Boy said.
I yanked his hair, pulling him back towards the front door, glancing at the floor. Thanks be that Nero was a loyal pup; right at my feet, heeling as if he’d already been trained. I laughed, “Really, you think that’s a good idea?”
Marty dropped the canned food. “What do you want me to do?”
“Good question,” I said, “Follow us outside, nice and slow like.”
More footsteps and Den joined his buddies. I shook my head at him as he reached for his belt and what I assumed was a weapon. “Don’t,” I said. He dropped his hand and I tightened my hand on the knife.
I inched us out the door backwards, drunk on adrenaline. That’s my excuse anyway for forgetting the fourth man.
Something hit me from behind, my shoulders and upper back taking the brunt of the blow, but it didn’t make me let go. I instinctively tightened my grip, but as I stumbled backwards, the blade pulled through the leader’s neck with a clean slice and a low gurgle. I didn’t have time to react to the fact that I’d just killed a second man in less than a month.
I wobbled a few feet away, the stunned silence from the other men giving me only split second to make my next move. No doubt the men still standing couldn’t believe what had happened anymore than I could and it took them a moment to recover. I spun and ran, blade still in my hands, dripping blood, Nero right beside me.
“Get her!” I don’t know which one of them yelled it, doesn’t matter, not with what happened next.
I ran to the gate where Scout crouched in the shadows, his eyes glittering at me as I sprinted towards him. The three men were closing in on me, fingertips brushing the back of my shirt as I panted for air, hoping for enough oxygen to make the desperate jump and climb over the metal gate. As I drew close Nero veered off, running to the garden, his fear of the gate the only thing that would drive him from my side.
The gate was cold and I struggled to get my hands on it, the bunches of metal grapes and leaves biting into my flesh. I managed to get half way over before the closest man grabbed my ankle. I pulled hard and tumbled to the ground on the other side of the fence, knocking the wind out of me. Even so, I made myself get to my feet and jogged to the center of the road, the three men following me over the gate, cocky and swaggering as if they knew something I didn’t.
They had their backs to Scout, but I could still see him and I gave him a slow nod. His eyes widened and then a grin spread across his face. With a blur of speed he hamstrung two of the men with his bare teeth before they knew what hit them. They fell screaming, the sound echoing around us. It wouldn’t be long before the pack showed up for this banquet. The last man standing half-turned to see what had happened and I rushed him. With a swift move Scout took him down, snapping his neck in one clean twist.
Marty rolled on the ground, “Bitch!” he screamed as Scout jumped on his chest, ripping at his neck, blood spurting every which way. I gagged at the smell and the sight and forced myself to unfreeze my legs and move. I was horrified by what I’d done, essentially leading the men into the lion’s den. Finally my semi-paralysis broke and I jogged to the gate, deliberately not looking at what Scout was doing as he sniffed around the flailing body of the one man that still lived.
“Help me!” he yelled, reaching for me. I avoided his fingers and put my hands on the cold metal piping that made up the gate.
As I climbed back over to my side, I turned back in time to see the pack emerge from the bush around us.
I walked slowly back to the house, the screams of the men only lasting a brief moment before they were cut off. This was a moment I wasn’t proud of. I was horrified deep within that I could essentially kill four men and feel nothing. No, that wasn’t true. I didn’t want to do it, but the world was now literally dog-eat-dog, and I would go down fighting every time.
I climbed the steps to the house and stared at the leader’s body, blood pooling around it and slipping through the cracks to the ground below.
It was then that I lost it, the shakes starting deep within my belly and spreading throughout my entire body, forcing me to the ground. I sat, leaning against the house, the body beside me as I waited for the shock to pass. When I was sure I wasn’t going to pass out, I let out a whistle. Within a few moments Nero came running up on the porch and leapt into my lap.
“Good dog,” I said. When he went to sniff the body I reprimanded him lightly. “Leave it.” I stood slowly and with my hand against the house for support I stood over the leader.
“I can’t let Sebastian see me like this,” I whispered to myself. I bent and picked up the man’s feet, dragging him off the porch and towards the gate. It was hard work, the body floppy and uncooperative, and I was sweating hard by the time I was only halfway. I paused and caught my breath, and stared down at the body at my feet, really seeing it, the open gash across the neck; the surprised expression on his face. Emotions started to well up and I pushed them back down. There was no place for that, not anymore.
With a heave I started to drag the body again, this time getting it all the way to the gate before considering a problem I hadn’t before considered. How the hell was I going to get it over the gate?
A grunt brought my attention to Scout, crouched back in the shadows. He stood slowly and approached me, his hands outstretched. We were going to have to work together if we were going to get this body over to him.
I lifted the feet up as high as I could; panting and breathing hard, a squirm of fear that Scout might make a grab for me while my hands were occupied. He reached over the fence and grabbed one boot, then the other, and yanked, snapping the body through the air and onto its side.
With a grunt and a smile, he dragged the body behind him to the edge of the bush and started in on it, his back hunched over the chest, and a loud crunching rolled over me followed by a wet ripping sound that I chose to ignore.
I made myself watch as he feasted on the body and thought about Sebastian, how soon it would be him eating whatever he could get his hands on. I hoped he was okay, hoped that he hadn’t been hurt. A part of me, though, hoped I didn’t ever have to see him shift, turn into a mindless eating machine, see him become like Scout, or Jessica or the Alpha.
Which would be worse, to lose him now and not know what happened, or lose him to the drug and forever have that image of Sebastian as a monster engrained in my mind?
13
The next morning was all about cleaning up the blood and hiding the evidence that the raiding party had ever been here. I didn’t need it as a reminder of what I’d done.
Exhausted from a long night of sleeplessness and hard work with the cleanup, I fell asleep around noon on our bed, Nero once more cuddled up behind my legs. It was a heavy sleep, dreamless and surprisingly restful. A light touch on my cheek snapped me awake and I lashed out, reaching for the knife under the pillow before I even opened my eyes.
“Easy, babe, it’s me,” Sebastian said.
I gasped and let go of the blade and threw myself into his arms. All my thoughts of not telling him what happened broke under his presence and the words tumbled out of me along with the tears that I hadn’t been able to shed for the men that died, and the part of me that died along with them.
Sebastian stroked my hair and let me confess to him without a single word. Gulping back a final sob I looked up and had to force myself not to react. His skin had changed in the short time he’d been gone and the patterning under the skin up his neck looked a great deal like a faint tattoo. Exactly as Jessica’s had right before she left.
“There’s nothing I can say that will make this better for you, babe,” Sebastian said. He continued to stroke my hair, never breaking eye contact with me. “You’ve got to be strong now. There’s no g
uarantee that more raiders won’t come, that you won’t be attacked again. In the past there was always someone to call for help, the police or neighbours. We have to take care of each other now, whatever that means and whatever that takes.”
“It scared me how little I felt,” I whispered, “Like their deaths didn’t matter, when I knew they should have meant something.”
Sebastian frowned and shook his head. “Babe, you are going to have to fight to make it. Don’t let your fear stop you from surviving. I think it’s just your way of not losing your mind. Bad shit is going to happen, there’s nothing you can do about it but be strong.”
He pulled me tight into his arms, held me close and I let out a sigh of relief. “I was scared you would think I was an awful person for what I did.”
“I’m going to try and eat people soon. I don’t think you have to worry about getting that bad,” he said. I knew he was trying to lighten the mood but he failed miserably, the shadows of what was coming for him lay heavy on us, a physical weight we both tried to ignore but couldn’t. I saw an image of Scout in my mind eating the body and it morphed into Sebastian, feral and nasty.
Sundered Page 7
