by Mia Ford
He gave me an enigmatic, but still somehow salacious smiled. “Come over here, sexy.”
Not like I was going anywhere. Not now, anyway. I followed him over to his futon, which was actually really comfortable once we sat down upon it. It was softer and fluffier than I imagined it to be. And the view from his bed was of the city street – which was alive and full of people and cars. Even at that hour. It was nice, actually. Not what I was used to, but it was nice.
The shaking in my hands stopped long enough for me to take a drink from the bottle of beer. I tried very hard to hide my disgust as I swallowed the beer down. Reese laughed and took the bottle from my hands.
“Not your cup of tea, huh, baby?”
“Not really,” I said, trying not to blush.
“That's fine,” he said. His hand moved from my hand, up my arm and he started stroking my shoulder as he leaned forward, his delicious lips inches from my own. “We don't need to do much drinking anyway.”
His hand grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into him. He kissed me long and hard. It was dizzying and full of passion. His tongue danced with mine, sending me my head spinning. This wasn't real. I wasn't actually about to have sex with a man I'd fantasized about for so long – was I? It was all a dream. Had to be. Just another fantasy, right?
Except, in my fantasies, we were never in a crappy studio apartment on a futon. We were somewhere more romantic, somewhere more luxurious than that. No, the fact that we were in that crappy studio, on that futon meant it had to be real. And the realness of the moment hit me hard, making me pull away, just to gasp for air and get my bearings again.
“What's wrong?” Reese asked, staring deep into my eyes. “You okay?”
“Nothing,” I muttered. “I'm just – well –”
I wasn't sure if telling him I was a virgin would be a good or a bad thing. I mean, I didn't want to scare him off. But if we did end up having sex, he was going to find out.
So, I lied, kind of. Split the truth down the middle. “I'm just not very experienced, that's all.”
Reese pushed my hair back from my face and smiled at me, his dark eyes taking me in like I was the most delicious feast a hungry man had ever sat down to. I could get lost in those eyes – something I always did when I was a stupid girl back home. It often led to awkward moments where I just stared at him, unable to articulate anything at all. But there, in that moment, I could stare all I wanted and it was delightful.
“But,” I continued, talking a little bit faster than normal, just to make sure I didn't ruin the moment, “I want this. I still want to do this.”
Reese looked worried for a second, and I thought perhaps I'd ruined everything after all. I was kicking myself mentally until he finally spoke.
“That's fine and all,” he said. “I just want you to know I'm not looking for anything serious, you know?”
“Oh no,” I said, eyes wide. “I have no preconceived notions about what this means, Reese. I'm not looking for a boyfriend either. I've got a lot going on. And I'll be heading off to medical school in a few years – I don't want to be tied down like that.”
An expression of relief flooded his face. “Good, because I didn't want to lead you on or anything. I wouldn't do you like that,” he said. “I'm actually leaving Chicago in a few weeks, heading off to Los Angeles for a new club gig and this could be huge for me. Could be my big break.”
“Oh wow, yeah, that's awesome,” I said. “And you don't have to worry about anything. I'm not naive or anything. Whatever happens tonight is just for tonight.”
That seemed to please Reese very much, as he said no more and that hunger returned to his eyes. He merely leaned in and started kissing me again as he pushed me onto my back. His hands moved under my shirt and teased my nipple, causing me to shudder as he kissed my neck. I gripped his shoulders as a fire ignited between my thighs.
My hands were in his hair, pulling him toward me. I had no idea what to do with myself, and Reese seemed content to do most of the work – so I let him. His hand moved from my breasts to somewhere much lower. I gasped as his hands moved under my skirt and up my thighs. As he came closer to my most intimate parts, I felt my nerves take hold of me once more, and I felt myself starting to freak out. But this time, I managed to keep it under control and to myself.
Oh, my God, this is really happening.
As Reese slipped a finger past my panties and slid it inside of me, I moved my hips upward, surprised at the sudden sensation that flooded my body. I'd touched myself countless times, but this was the first time someone else had touched me – it felt weird and wonderful all at the same time.
His finger moved in and out of me, slowly and rhythmically, as he kissed me.
“Nice and tight, just like I thought you'd be,” he murmured in my ear.
I whimpered as he pushed not one, but two fingers inside of me. Slowly and deeply. My eyes grew wide as he fingered me, preparing me for what was to come. I was ready, mentally, but I knew my body needed to relax – if it didn't, it was going to hurt. And I didn't want it to hurt. I didn't want Reese realizing I was a virgin, not if I could help it. That would just make it seem even more awkward.
Reese started removing his pants, and I watched as they fell to the floor, exposing himself to me – something I'd only imagined for so long. As I took him all in, I felt like my eyes might pop out of my head as I stared at him, naked, for the first time.
Most women I'd heard talking might consider him average – maybe slightly above average. I had nothing to compare it to, but the idea of taking that inside of me shook me up, just a bit. He was larger than my toys, larger than anything I'd put inside of me before. And as I stared at him, I knew it was going to take some getting used to.
Reese fell on top of me, pressing himself against me. I felt how hard he was as he pressed against me, pressed against my opening just beyond my panties. He wasn't even going to remove my clothing, I realized. So, I decided to help him out a bit. I sat up as best I could with him pressing me down me and lifted the see-through shirt over my head, exposing the black bra underneath. Reese gave me a coy smile as he reached behind my back and unlatched it, like a pro, letting it fall to the bed softly.
He stared at my breasts for a moment before taking my nipple between his lips, sucking on it gently. I writhed against him, taken by surprise at the pleasure coursing through my body as he licked and sucked on my nipple. Never before had I played with my nipples, so I had no idea they were so sensitive, but as he sucked on it, I felt myself growing wetter and more turned on by the second.
Reese spread my thighs with his hand and I felt him pressing against me. His erection was pushed against my panties – the only thing separating him from me. And with one sudden movement, he pulled my panties down, removing them, but leaving my skirt on, but then pushed it up over my hips.
I was pretty much naked for him to see now. And judging by the way his gaze fell upon me and the light of lust burning bright in his eyes, I knew he enjoyed the view.
“Mmm, I never knew you had such a tight little body underneath your frilly dresses, Maya,” he said, pressing the tip of his cock against my opening.
I was too focused on his cock; I couldn't even respond. I was mentally preparing myself for what was to come next – taking him inside of me. The mere thought of it scared me, but drove me wild at the same time. And as if acting of its own volition, my body thrust upward, trying to close the distance and take him into me.
Reese kissed me as he slipped the tip of his cock inside of me, spreading me open bit by bit. I grabbed onto him, eyes wide, as the sensation of him entering me took over. It hurt, yes, but there was more to it than that. The feeling of him being inside of me, even just a little bit, was amazing. My heart was thundering in my chest, the fire between my thighs burned hotter than ever before, and I could feel how absolutely wet and slick I'd become. I stared into those dark eyes as he thrust deeper into me, spreading me open wider than ever before. I'd never been stretch
ed like that before, and it was all so surreal, yet so wonderful at the same time.
I whimpered, just a bit, as he thrust the rest of his stiff cock inside of me. Reese seemed to think it was a sign of pleasure as he filled me up with his cock, and made sure to go even deeper, ripping me open with one final push. I screamed this time – it was a scream of both pleasure and pain as I took every inch of him deep inside of me.
Reese groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head. “So fucking tight,” he said through gritted teeth.
Slowly, our bodies started moving in rhythm together as Reese started fucking me. He was gentle, for the most part, as he moved in and out of me, kissing me as he thrust in and pulled out, moving slowly at first, only gradually speeding up.
I was having sex, I thought to myself. I was actually having sex with Reese. It was just like I'd always fantasized about – well, almost, anyway. It was surreal. I was really there beneath him. He was really inside of me. And the look on his face was one of pure bliss as he ravished my body, pumping his thick cock into me again and again, harder and faster, drawing screams and moans out of me.
The expression on his face as he stared d down at me while fucking me was a look I'd never forget. With our foreheads pressed together, staring deeply into one another's eyes, he looked as if he finally saw me as someone other than Luke's annoying little sister. I was a woman – a sexy woman at that.
As my body got used to the sensations that rocked me, I started moving in time with him – meeting his thrusts with my own, allowing him to go even deeper inside of me. My nails were buried in his back, drawing a hiss from him as I held on for dear life while he pumped his cock into my hard and fast...
I didn't expect to orgasm, not my first time, but the sensation built up in my body. I could feel it coming on, the pleasure washing over me, and I knew from all that time I'd spent masturbating what an orgasm would be like. Or so I thought.
But as I came, my body shuddered wildly, making me feel like I was completely out of control of myself. I screamed in pleasure – this was nothing at all what it felt like when I took care of myself. It was so much better. My every nerve ending felt like it was on fire and like I had electricity coursing through my veins. Reese smiled as he watched while I writhed underneath him, continuing to move in and out of my tight little hole with the precision of a man who knew exactly what he was doing.
I felt my pussy tighten up around his cock, spasming around it, and Reese's eyes grew wide. An animalistic groan escaped his throat as he buried himself deep inside of me in one long, hard thrust. I felt his cock pulsating and I wondered if this was what it felt like to have a man come inside of you. His breathing was ragged and the sounds coming from his throat were of desperation and need, and I watched as he squeezed his eyes shut and just stayed there, deep inside and pulsating inside of my tight, wet, little pussy. I felt a warm wetness inside of me that I knew wasn't from me – it had to be Reese's seed pumping into me.
“Fuck,” he said, collapsing on top of me. “That was amazing.”
I had no words. I couldn't even speak. My body was still in shock from everything that had just happened, and I laid there, motionless, trying to learn how to breathe all over again. But I had to admit, – it had been amazing. My body was still coming down from the high of having a real orgasm – it was unlike any I'd experienced before.
His cock was still in me, but I felt it growing soft and after a moment, he pulled it out. A rush of warmth covered my thighs as he removed his cock from me. Such a strange feeling, I thought. To have his cum inside of me, to have it come pouring out like that. Such a strange and new feeling.
But I loved it.
I loved everything about it.
Reese leaned down and kissed me as he flopped down beside me. He pulled me into him, resting my head on his chest so I could hear his breathing and his heartbeat. He kissed the top of my head, but neither of us said anything for a long while.
There was nothing I could say, really. I just kept thinking about what I'd said earlier. When I thought – and told him – I could do this once and move on without a second thought, had I been wrong? Had I been lying to myself? Because deep down, I so badly wanted to stay with him, to experience the magic of having him inside of me again and again, to cuddle up to his warm body afterward. I wanted it even more now that I'd had a taste – and I feared no other man would do for me.
Reese, was it. He was the one. I was sure of it.
But then I reasoned with myself that all girls probably think like that after their first time. Besides, I had medical school and he had the job in LA.
It simply wasn't meant to be. We had our moment and that moment was now over.
This one time, this one memory – it had to be enough.
“Maya, what are you doing in there? I need to use the bathroom!” Allie banged on the door.
I just sat there, staring at myself in the mirror and feeling like nothing was real. This wasn't happening to me. It couldn't be.
No, no, no, I kept saying to myself. As if repeating it would somehow make it so. I wasn't crying. I didn't feel anything. I just stared at the little stick with the blue lines and thought it had to be wrong.
But it was the third one I'd taken. The third one that said it was true. The third positive I'd had that day.
I didn't answer Allie even though she kept shouting at me through the door. There was another bathroom she could use in the house. Somewhere else. Right now, I needed to be alone. I needed to keep staring at that little stick, praying that somehow I was reading it all wrong. But my thoughts were all jumbled and I couldn't pull myself together. My head was spinning and my heart was pounding. What was I going to do?
“Maya?” Allie said. This time her voice was softer, it sounded concerned.
“Yes,” I responded, my voice cracking. “I'm still in here.”
“Are you okay? Are you sick?”
You could say that.
“I'm fine,” I lied.
“You don't sound fine,” she said.
The doorknob rattled as she tried to open it, but I'd had the foresight to lock it.
“Listen, if this is about what Lauren said about you putting on weight, just ignore her. We all know she's a bitch –”
“It's not that,” I said softly.
“Then what is it?” she asked. “Come on, I'm your best friend, aren't I? You can tell me anything, you know that.”
Allie had quickly become my closest friend, so yes, she was right. She was my best friend. But I still felt so terribly alone. I didn't want to tell a soul. The fear and the shame that were gripping me so tightly were overwhelming. I just wanted to stay in this bathroom and hide away until I woke up from what had to be a terrible, horrible dream.
But I knew I couldn't go through this alone. Because it wasn't a dream, it was reality. And I needed help to get through this. Allie was all I had – the only person I could trust.
With tears stinging my eyes, I opened the door.
Allie stepped inside, her eyes on me. She looked concerned as she noticed the tears rolling down my cheeks. I looked at her and opened my mouth to speak, but couldn't find the words, so I closed it again. As I stood there before her, my best friend, I realized I didn't know how to tell her why I was crying – so I showed her instead. I picked up the pregnancy test and held it out to her. She didn't take it, she just looked down and a moment later, her eyes grew wide as she realized what she was staring at.
“Is this for real, Maya?” she asked me. “I mean, false positives aren't impossible, right?”
“It's the third one I've taken – all positive,” I said weakly.
To cover my face and hide away as best as I could, I put my head in my hands and fell to the floor. I was leaning against the bathtub, sobbing. I'd finally had to face the truth. I was pregnant.
“Who's the father?” Allie asked softly, sitting down beside me. “I didn't think you were seeing anyone –”
“I'm not,” I said. �
�It was a one-time thing. Just a one-nighter. So, goddamn stupid of me.”
“Shhh,” Allie said, pulling me into her and holding me close. “It's okay, Maya. It's going to be okay.”
Was it, though? How could it be? My life was forever changed and I felt like things would never be okay again.
“Well, there are ways we can handle this, clinics that will –”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “No, let's not talk about that. I can't do that. My parents would kill me.”
“They don't even have to know, Maya,” Allie said.
I knew she was right. It would be so easy. My life could go back to normal in no time. I could go to the clinic, have an abortion and no one would ever have to know. It could be my little secret. And it could save my life. My plans. My dreams.
But I'd know. I'd always know what I'd done.
“It goes against everything I believe in, Allie,” I said, choking up. “I don't think I can, not easily.”
“Well, you can think about it, Maya. You still have some time, so just think about it, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay,” I said. “I'll think about it.”
But lying to my parents? How could I look at them in the eyes ever again if I did that? How could I sit down to dinner, stare them in the face and keep this secret from them? They might expect it of Luke, but they would be absolutely devastated if it came from me.
I knew I couldn't.
There was no way I could keep this from them. Even if I decided to do what Allie was suggesting, I had to tell my parents. I had to own up to my mistakes. Whether I liked it or not, I had to tell them I was pregnant and find a way to deal with the fallout.
“I'm going to tell my parents though,” I said, feeling marginally better for having decided that. “I have to.”
“Are you sure that's a good idea?” Allie asked, raising an eyebrow. “I don't know your parents, but I know you've mentioned how strict and religious they are –”
“It may not be a good idea, but it's what I have to do,” I said. “Besides, my dad is a doctor, he'll understand. He'll support me – he has to, right?”
