Hunter immediately dropped his hands. “No, this is not what it seems.”
Quentin raised his brow, as if to say, Explain it to me then.
No can do. There was no way Hunter was going to tell this stranger that he’d gotten a boner.
Quentin snickered. “That’s what I thought. Either go ask to work with someone else or come find me when you’re ready. Either way, get your shit together because we have work to do.”
“But—”
Quentin didn’t give Hunter a chance to finish. Jaw clenched and fire in his eyes, he pushed past Hunter and exited the room.
THIS MADE THE second time that Phoenix had gotten babysitting duty. The first time was when Gerald had kidnapped Payton and tried to kidnap Vaughn and Naya. Technically, it should have been someone else’s turn, but she knew she was still proving herself to Vance for going after Gerald without backup.
She was not happy about the assignment, but she wasn’t going to dare complain. She was in this situation due to her own zealousness. She had no one to blame but herself. But, minus her and Dante’s injuries, she didn’t regret it. She’d take the next ten babysitting assignments for the pleasure of killing that asshole Gerald.
Phoenix left the quick meeting in the clinic room to find Sawyer and Kenzie since she needed to figure out how she and Sawyer were going to trade off shifts.
Kenzie was in the waiting room, sleeping in a chair, and Sawyer was nowhere to be found. So much for looking after his own mate. Of course, Kenzie was pretty safe in the clinic, surrounded by everyone waiting for Naya to give birth. Lilith and Payton were several chairs away, also napping, and neither of them would let anything happen to Kenzie.
Phoenix sat down next to Kenzie and waited for Sawyer. She had her fingers crossed that she could go back home and sleep, and she wouldn’t have to be here when Naya delivered. Since Sawyer was Vaughn’s best friend, Phoenix assumed that Sawyer would want to stay, and she would be able to leave soon. Then, she wouldn’t have to pretend that all this excitement didn’t bother her.
As she waited, she watched most of the meeting’s members file out of the clinic to go home or go on duty. Only a few people remained. As long as it was still dark out, Dante was responsible for bringing the king and queen to see their grandchildren once they were born. Vaughn stayed because he was obviously going into the delivery room. The last few people staying behind were Vance, the soon-to-be grandfather; Damien, who was with his mate, Payton; and Sawyer because he was friends with Vaughn and his mate was friends with Naya.
Kenzie stirred beside her. When she saw Phoenix sitting next to her, she quickly sat up. “Hey. Where’s Sawyer?”
Phoenix pointed to Sawyer and Vance, who were still in the hallway, talking. “Over there.”
Kenzie relaxed. “Oh, good. I thought maybe something had happened.”
“Nothing exciting.”
“So, what are you doing here?” Kenzie asked.
Phoenix admired her directness. “You’ve got yourself a new watchdog.”
Kenzie frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Didn’t Sawyer tell you that you were going to have twenty-four-hour protection?”
“What the hell? No. That’s ridiculous.”
As much as Phoenix didn’t want the job, it wasn’t exactly ridiculous.
“Not when a group is out there, committing crimes against shifters and vampires. And since you’re…” Phoenix couldn’t bring herself to say pregnant, so she gestured toward Kenzie’s abdomen. She was turning into such a wuss.
“Great. I go from being an independent woman who doesn’t need a man to someone who needs a babysitter. Be careful what you wish for.”
Phoenix chuckled. She liked this human. “Sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry. My life is very mundane, and you will probably die from boredom.” Kenzie winced. “Does this mean you’ll have to follow me around at work?”
Phoenix shrugged. “I don’t know. Sawyer and I have to figure out the details.”
“Great.”
Sawyer and Vance broke apart, and Sawyer walked toward them. Kenzie crossed her legs and arms as she waited for her mate. When Sawyer approached, he must have sensed Kenzie’s irritation because he stood in front of her instead of sitting down.
“Have you heard anything?”
“No, I haven’t heard anything. Is there something you would like to share with me?”
Sawyer nervously rubbed the back of his neck.
A few months ago, Phoenix wouldn’t have believed that she would see this side of Sawyer. Frankly, she hadn’t even realized that he had it until recently. It was quite comical.
“Uh…well…Vance and I decided it would be safer to have someone watching over you all the time, just in case.”
“Vance and you?” Kenzie asked skeptically.
“Yes.”
Kenzie narrowed her eyes.
“Okay, okay, it was mostly me,” he said, plopping down into the chair on the other side of her.
“Sawyer, you are making poor Phoenix hang out with me when I can take care of myself.”
“Uh, one, Phoenix is not poor, and, two, you cannot take care of yourself. Not when there are people out there who outnumber you,” Sawyer said. “And they might be shifters or vampires who are stronger than you. I can’t let you get hurt. Or the baby. It would kill me.”
Kenzie’s expression softened as she turned to her mate. She leaned toward him and tenderly kissed his mouth.
Phoenix felt like a voyeur, watching their intimate exchange, and it made her feel guilty and really, really alone.
She turned away and pulled out her phone to pretend like she wasn’t paying attention to the couple and to give them some space. But then she started to hear kissing noises.
Then, Kenzie whispered, trying not to let anyone hear but forgetting that she was in a room with shifters and vampires, “Let’s go find someplace to be alone.”
Phoenix heard Sawyer hop out of his seat, and she turned in time to see the big grin on his face. He pulled Kenzie up to follow behind him as she giggled and let him drag her off.
“Hey, wait, we haven’t talked yet,” Phoenix called after them.
But they were too into each other for either one of them to hear Phoenix.
Wonderful. Who knew how long it would take them to do it? Why does everyone have to have sex all the time?
Feeling sullen, Phoenix leaned back in her seat to wait. She really should just leave, but she was already on thin ice and didn’t need this to be one more thing she messed up.
She propped her head back to rest, but sleep eluded her. She was halfway to dreamland several times, but she kept waking up when she heard a noise or sensed something. But then she smelled the wonderful scent of cinnamon and male, and before she knew it, she was out like a light.
A couple of hours later, Phoenix woke, disoriented until she remembered that she was at the vampire clinic. She was lying on her back with her head on Dante’s lap. He was also snoozing with his head back against the wall. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep. Dante carried a lot of weight on his shoulders as the leader of the Guardians, and while he didn’t act like it was a stressful job, it clearly affected him.
Phoenix slowly sat up so as not to wake Dante, but he still was slightly roused from his slumber. Half-asleep, he reached out until he touched her leg, and as if he was eased from knowing that she was there, he went back to sleep.
The action startled her, mostly because it didn’t bother her. At all. She liked that she brought comfort to Dante instead of the other way around.
Phoenix looked around the room, as if finally remembering they weren’t alone. Sawyer and Kenzie were back with Kenzie resting her hand on Sawyer’s shoulder while he looked down at his phone. Vance was on the phone and out of earshot. Payton and Lilith were both awake and playing cards, but Lilith glanced over at Phoenix and smiled and winked before turning back to playing her game.
All of a sudden, there was a commotion from the hallwa
y, and Vaughn came out with a big plastic bassinet. Everyone stopped what they were doing and stood to see the new babies.
Everyone but Phoenix.
Dante woke from all the noise but stayed sitting with his hand on her knee. Now, it was she who was taking security from knowing that Dante was beside her.
“Are you going to go see the babies?” she asked Dante.
“Nah, I’m not close to either of them, and I’d feel like I was intruding.” He looked at his watch. “As soon as Vaughn gives me the okay, I’m going to pick up Naya’s parents.” Dante looked at Phoenix. “Don’t you want to see the little ones?”
She shrugged. She was dying to see them, but at the same time, she was absolutely terrified. Sawyer glanced over at her. He was the only one besides Saxon who knew that she really wanted to be a mother. She’d told Sawyer in confidence when he was making some bad decisions about being with Kenzie. Thankfully, he hadn’t told anyone else her secret.
For many others, it probably didn’t seem that hush, hush. Many beings wanted families. It wasn’t unusual by any means. But, for Phoenix, it felt like a vulnerability. She knew she came across as tough and even unfeeling sometimes, so she could just imagine everyone laughing at her once they found out she wanted to be a mom. And she didn’t want anyone to know because she hated being pitied.
Poor sexually dysfunctional female who wants a family. She could practically hear them whispering behind her back already.
“I’m good right here,” she finally told Dante. “I’m splitting guard duty with Sawyer, and we haven’t worked out the details yet. Otherwise, I wouldn’t even be here.”
Dante nodded, as if he understood, but there was still speculation in his eyes.
“How’s Naya?” Lilith asked her son as she cuddled a baby.
“Good. It was kind of scary for a while there. The doctor almost had to take her for a C-section because Naya was getting tired and weak, but that’s when these two decided to make their entrances. Naya is sleeping now, so I wanted to give her time to rest.”
“After more than fifty hours of labor, I can imagine.”
“Well, not all of it was active labor, Mom.”
“It’s still labor, dear, and until you experience it, you don’t get a say,” Lilith told her son.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“That’s it. I’m never having kids,” Payton said as she held the other baby. “I don’t like pain, and fifty hours is just too long.”
“You’ll change your mind,” her mother told her.
“About pain? I don’t think so.” She looked down at the baby. “Although you are pretty cute.”
Damien pulled his mate close and whispered in her ear, and she smiled.
“Okay, I might change my mind for you.”
“What are their names?” Kenzie asked. “Do they finally have some?”
Vaughn laughed. “Yes. The boy is Aidan Vaughn, and the girl is Victoria Anaya.”
“Oh, isn’t that cute? A.V. and V.A.,” Lilith said. “I love it.”
Everyone took chairs after that and took turns holding the newborns.
Phoenix thought she had managed to avoid the whole baby-holding situation when Kenzie, who was sitting beside her, put the baby in her arms without asking and jumped up. “I have to use the restroom.”
Phoenix looked down to see a little scrunched up face with a pink hat. Little Victoria fussed, and Phoenix instinctively clutched the baby closer to her.
The baby calmed immediately while Phoenix was overcome with emotion. It was easy to ignore wanting a baby when she wasn’t ever faced with one. It was easy to pretend that she didn’t yearn for the things she wanted in life, that she was okay with how things had turned out.
But holding Victoria in her arms made Phoenix realize just how much she wanted to be a mother. The desire was so strong, she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to breathe from the longing. And, without warning, her impending mating heat loomed over her. To know that she would be spending it alone and drugged up in a room by herself was so depressing that Phoenix almost choked on it.
“Phoenix. Phoenix.”
She looked up into Dante’s deep brown eyes.
“Are you okay?”
No. Not at all.
“Is there anything I can do?” he asked when she didn’t answer.
Phoenix thought to a couple of days ago when Dante had told her she could trust him and that he’d never hurt her. There was a moment that night when she could have sworn she’d actually felt what he was feeling, but then the feeling was gone. She believed him one hundred ten percent, and she trusted her feelings. That was why he would be perfect for the job.
“Yes,” she told him.
“What can I do?” He looked so sincere in his question that she knew she was making the right choice.
“How about I come with you to pick up the king and queen? I’ll tell you all about it.”
He looked like he wanted to press, but he nodded his okay.
Suddenly, feeling lighter than she had in days, Phoenix sat back and kissed baby Victoria on the head before snuggling her close.
DANTE OPENED THE car door for Phoenix, so she could get in the passenger side. He slid behind the steering wheel and left the clinic before saying anything to Phoenix.
She’d been very distressed at the clinic once Vaughn brought the twins out, and her anxiety had increased when Kenzie put baby Victoria in her arms. But then, out of nowhere, a calmness had settled over Phoenix after he offered to help her. His mind was reeling with the possibilities.
“So, what did you want to talk about?”
Phoenix stared straight ahead, out the windshield. “No judging, please.”
“Of course not.”
“I have always wanted to be a mother,” she said matter-of-factly.
He figured she was keeping all emotion out of her voice in case he said something to make her feel like her dream was less than.
He admitted he was shocked. He would have expected Phoenix to be the last person to say that, and frankly, he didn’t know how to respond. “I can understand that,” is what he settled on because it was the truth. “I’ve always pictured having children myself.”
“Good. Then, this should be easier.”
What in the world…
“Do you know how babies are conceived?”
“Uh…” Is this a trick question?
“I mean, shifter babies.”
That question made more sense. “A little but not the specifics. Shifter females have a mating heat that requires constant…stimulation.”
“We are only fertile two times a year, about every six months, when we go through our mating heat. It lasts several days, and if we don’t conceive, we have to wait again. That is why there are so few of us compared to humans.”
“Okay.” Where was she going with this?
“You meant what you said to me at L and L, right? That I could trust you, and you would never hurt me?”
“Of course.” Now, Dante was completely lost.
Phoenix looked over at him and smiled. “Good. My mating heat is in less than a month, and I want you to get me pregnant.”
Dante swerved into the next lane, almost hitting another car. “What?”
“I want you to have sex with me during my next mating heat and get me pregnant. The whole process will take a few days, so that is why I wanted to warn you now, so you know you’ll be unavailable for a while.”
“You misunderstood. I heard you. I just don’t understand why.”
Phoenix sighed, as if she were talking to an imbecile. “I want to be a mother. I only have two chances every year. I am not getting any younger. Since it looks like I will never be comfortable having sex and therefore finding a mate, I would like you to get me pregnant.”
“Did you just hear yourself?” Dante asked. “You will never be comfortable having sex, but you want me to…to…” He couldn’t finish.
“Knock me up? Yes.”
“No,” h
e told her. No way.
“No?” she repeated.
“No.”
She threw her hands up. “Why not?”
“Let me get this straight. You don’t like sex; in fact, you dislike it. Yet you want me to have sex with you over and over again until you get pregnant.”
“Yes,” she said.
“And you don’t find anything wrong with that?”
“If it gets me what I want, then no.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that, Phoenix.” It was crazy that they were even having this conversation.
“Oh,” she said, as if she suddenly realized how ridiculous she sounded. “You can be a part of our child’s life if you want. Or you don’t have to be. I won’t deny or force you to do either.”
Holy shit, she just doesn’t get it.
“While I appreciate that, I am not going to force myself on you over and over, all the while knowing that you are hating every second of it. Even if you are willing and it was your idea, I don’t have that certain kink. I doubt I’d even be able to start, much less...finish.”
The thought of Phoenix lying on a bed, simply enduring sex, while he fucked her made him sick to his stomach. His dick and balls were shriveling up, just thinking about it.
“But—”
“I’m sorry, Phoenix. I can’t do that to you. Or to me.”
She put her back to him and stared out the passenger window. He felt her despair that he’d felt in her earlier at the clinic. It was so strong through their blood link that he almost tasted it.
Had she really felt better after coming up with that crazy, outrageous idea? It seemed so.
He felt awful. He wanted to help her in any way he could, but he just couldn’t do it. It felt too much like rape, and he would never do that to a woman. Ever.
They rode the rest of the way in silence. When they pulled up to the king and queen’s mansion, Dante got out while Phoenix stayed inside the vehicle. The Kensington’s butler, Hans, answered the door and let him in. He had called ahead to tell them that he was coming, but Naya’s parents weren’t ready.
Left alone with his thoughts, Dante mulled over what Phoenix had said. He wanted to help her but didn’t know how.
Forbidden Addiction (Forbidden, Book #4) Page 5
