“If I say yes, will you continue doing what I hope you’re going to do?”
I felt him laugh into my heat. “Yes.”
“Then, yes. I could do this every day.” Just as he latched on and began to suck, I said, “I should point out though, that there might be some days you won’t want to do that.”
Then he stopped. “Anika, baby, stop talking now.” He chuckled and then he shut me up with the best oral sex, ever.
Cole 7
Cole
“What time is it?” I asked. I couldn’t have any more coffee. I’d been awake for almost twenty-four hours and the caffeine was making me jittery. Aimes was asleep in Gus’s arms on the couch. The other men were sitting in the kitchen, stoically waiting. Olaf appeared out of nowhere, looking like he’d had a full night’s sleep.
“It’s seven thirty-four. Do you want to lie down for a while? Just for fifteen minutes. I’ll wake you before eight. You should rest, Cole.”
“It’s been hours, nothing. He should’ve called by now. The deal’s gone through. It’s all done. The silence is killing me, Olaf.”
“I know, my friend. I know.”
I put my head down on the counter. It felt like I’d only been asleep for five seconds when the phone jerked me awake. I quickly answered and put it on speaker, while everyone ran into the kitchen.
“Hello?”
“Mr. Carlyle. You are a man of your word I see.”
“Where is she?” I was getting pissed now, “I did what you asked. She’s done nothing wrong; just let me talk to her.” I could hear my own voice echo back at me through the house. Aimes actually jumped when she heard me yell.
“Shhhh. Quiet now Mr. Carlyle. Is my uncle there?”
“I’m here, Joe. It is finished. Where is the girl?”
“Where is Serena?” He demanded. His voice suddenly became dark.
“She will be on the beach of this house in ten minutes. She and your papa will take you to the airport and Serena will accompany you home.”
“Home?” He asked.
“Where no one will judge. You cannot stay here now after this bad business, you know that.”
A man and a woman came into the front door. The man I knew was Giuseppe Drago, Senior. The woman, a Mediterranean beauty with long black hair and bright blue eyes, stood in my kitchen and looked at the phone. I had no idea what it was, but something was happening.
“Papa?” she said.
“Cara mia?!” You could hear the relief and smile as he spoke. “You are there?”
“Yes, Papa. I’m ready to go. I have a bag for you and your passport. Where is she?”
“She’s walking up the beach to the house. If anything happens, Mr. Carlyle…”
I ran from the kitchen as fast as I could without looking behind me, out the patio doors, jumping the steps three at a time until my feet hit the sand. I looked frantically, left to righ, but didn’t see her. I couldn’t see her. A fucking trick!? I stood, feeling my heart pound against my chest. The woman, Serena, was behind me with the two large Italian men. She leaned into me.
“Please tell her, I’m sorry. Make no mistake,” she met my eyes, “he will suffer before I kill him, Mr. Carlyle.”
Am I in a fucking movie?
“Where is she, can anyone see her?” I asked.
“Time to go.” Serena said. “Don’t follow us.” She began to run down the beach to a figure I didn’t see. What I did see was a boat pull up and a small dingy make its way into the shallow water near my house. Giuseppe, Senior and his brother got in and a third man, already on the boat helped them aboard. They sped away until I could barely make out the four figures on the boat. I didn’t know what I was expecting. Maybe a shoot out on the beach… an episode of The Soprano’s acted out before my very eyes, but nothing like that happened.
My father, was at my side, but I never took my eyes off that end of the beach. I knew everyone was behind me, watching, waiting…
“Cole?” I flipped around quickly to see her, not ten feet away. Our small gathering parted so I could go to her. She fell to her knees in front of me and burst into tears. She was still wearing the same clothes, wife beater and her painting jeans, her feet bare. I came to my knees in front of her, gently brushing her hair away from her tear-stained face. I realized she wasn’t hugging me back.
“Are you hurt baby? Tell me, my beautiful Anika.”
“My hands,” She whimpered.
I didn’t want to look, but I slowly and cautiously took her wrist and looked down to see her fingers. It took all my strength I could gather in that moment to hold her hands out and tell her, “They’ll grow back. We’ll get you cleaned up and give you something for the pain. You won’t feel a thing.”
“I’m not afraid of the pain, Cole. All I thought about was coming back to you. You saved me, baby. Take me home.” I scooped her up and felt her head against my chest as I walked up the stairs to my house, our house. No one said a word, but I noted that my mom and Aimes were behind me. Once we were inside, my mom opened the bag she’d brought earlier and took out a bottle of pills.
“Anika, dear. Are you allergic to anything?” She asked. Anika shook her head ‘no’. “I’m going to give you some morphine. It’s strong, but I want to clean up your hands so you don’t get an infection. You don’t want to be known as the maid of honor with the sausage fingers, do you?” She gave Anika a small smile.
She nodded and took the pills. I stared in disbelief when my father, walked out of the bathroom and crouched down next to us by the bed. “The bath is ready, son. We’ll be downstairs if you need us.”
Well, fuck me.
My mother had been arranging all the first aid supplies. “When you get out and into one of those nice fluffy robes, we’ll put some ointment on and wrap your hands so you don’t bump ‘em. But we’ll keep you nice and doped up while they heal.” Mom stood up and led everyone out of the room, but Aimes ran back and threw her arms around Anika.
“I love you, Inky.” She left the room and closed the door behind her, leaving me with my future bride.
“Cole?”
“Just lay back so I can pull your jeans off, baby.”
“I have to pee.”
“Okay. I’ll help you.”
“I want to throw up.” I scooped her up and took her into the bathroom and pushed her hair out of the way. After dry heaving for a few minutes she sat back. I was grateful the pills didn’t come up and hoped they started to kick in quickly. “Thank God you have a bidet.”
“It came with the house.” I smiled. “Can you stand up? I’ll get you cleaned up now, baby.” She leaned her wrists against my shoulders while I undressed her.
“You know, it hurts like a mother fucker when a nail gets yanked out.”
I winced. “I’m so sorry, Anika. You don’t know how sorry I am.”
“No, Cole. Don’t apologize. This was not your fault. I heard him talking.” She took a deep breath. “This is just one of those fucked up coincidences that happen to - well, you and me apparently.” I lifted her shirt over her head and slid it off each arm, careful not to touch her hands. “When he did this, I was just coming to.” She said, looking at her hands. “He put something over my mouth, it made me drowsy and I kept thinking how I was scared of trying to use your bidet, but the thought of you wiping my ass made me grateful you have one.” She laughed. She fucking laughed. That’s when I was certain the morphine was working.
“I was so scared, Anika. I thought I was going to lose you. And you said yes.” I helped her step into the bath.
“I said yes, Cole and I’d do everything exactly the same if it meant I’d be here with you right now. I’d give up my toe nails, too.”
“I’m having a hard time finding the humor in that right now, but if that’s how you feel about it, okay.”
“I think the drugs are kicking in. Are you gonna join me?” She asked. “I mean, I kind of want you as close as humanly possible for the next, I don’t know… fifty years?�
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I don’t think I have ever undressed so quickly. I climbed in the tub and started washing her.
“That was good thinking, putting the towels on either side like this – little fluffy bath tub arm rests.” She said.
“I’d like to take credit for that, but it wasn’t me.” I answered, working shampoo into her hair.
“Aimes?”
“It wasn’t Aimes. It was my… dad.” That was when the person I called ‘father’ since I was about eight, became ‘dad’ again. Some of the bitterness I had held onto most of my life left me. I realized not only had he kept every promise he made in the last twenty-four hours, he had shown the love of my life thoughtfulness and for once, asked nothing in return.
“Really.” She stared at me with an incredulous look on her face.
“Really.”
“Do you want to elaborate on that?”
“My dad and I might’ve had a breakthrough or something. But right now, I don’t want to talk about him. I’ll tell you everything later, but right now is about you and me. Oh, and the other…” I had to count the people I thought might still be downstairs, “five people in our house.”
“Our house?”
“Our house,” I said warmly. Then, I had to ask her. I couldn’t stand another minute not knowing. “Anika? Did he…?”
“No, Cole. It wasn’t about that. This was some kind of family/revenge/vendetta thing. And the girl.”
“I’ll tell you about that, too.” I rinsed the soap from her hair.
“Cole.” She started and stopped.
“What is it, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”
“No, I have to tell you something.” My chest seized. I knew she was holding something back. I thought maybe it was the shock of everything and I didn’t want to push her, not now. Not yet.
“Cole, my mom was there.” I wasn’t fucking expecting that. “She helped him. I think she must’ve been driving the car, but I can’t be sure. I do know she came to wherever he was keeping me. I heard her yelling at him and I know it was her. She helped him, Cole and all she cared about was him taking her away.”
I had stopped pouring the warm water on her. I had so many thoughts occurring all at once, it was like fireworks going off in my head. One thing I knew for sure, if Marla wasn’t already dead, I was going to find her and fucking kill her myself.
“Cole?”
“Sorry.” I continued with my bathing duties and tried to calm my breathing down.
“I’m pretty sure Joe murdered my mom.” She didn’t sound upset, she was just telling me what happened. “Do I tell someone? Do I tell your dad or something?”
“How… uh… what happened?” She seemed to be willing to share and I really wanted to fucking know.
“I heard her yelling, then I heard a kind of screech and then nothing until he came back upstairs. Then I watched him clean blood from his hand and from a knife. There was a lot of blood, Cole. A lot.” Her eyes looked down at the water. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, she hated her mother. I couldn’t imagine she had any feelings of remorse over her mom, but all these years wishing she was dead; thinking it, secretly wanting it, and it actually happening, were different.
I didn’t hesitate in my next question. “How do you feel about that?”
She turned around, lifted her elbows out of the water and laid her wrists on either side of my head. Her eyes were intense and heated. “Justice, Cole.”
I didn’t waste any time with my next question, either.
“So, do we need to call your tattoo guy?” I placed one hand at the small of her back and with the other I brushed my fingers across her lips.
“No. There will be no more leaves.” She said resolutely.
“Are you sure?”
“I don’t need them anymore. I have you. The people who hurt me are gone.”
“I love you, Anika.”
“I love you too, baby. And Cole?”
“Yeah.”
“Best. Proposal. Ever.” She leaned closer and slanted her head so I could kiss her. I pulled away and smiled. The biggest fucking smile to ever grace my face.
Cole 8
Anika
Five weeks.
It had been exactly five weeks since I was returned to Cole. My mother was most certainly dead. Joe was most certainly dead and I felt nothing but relief about both those assumed facts.
Aimes called me every day at two in the afternoon. For some reason, Cole was careful about keeping me in a routine. I don’t think he realized I had noticed this, but I was the kind of person that was very aware of my environment. It was a habit I started to help me paint. Actually, it was a habit I started when I realized my dad was never coming back. When he left, I was six. He took me to Disneyland, and I regretted not remembering more details about that last wonderful day I spent with my daddy. Since then, I tried to engage all my senses to bring more depth and life to my paintings.
I knew the coffee was programmed to start at seven a.m. The incredible aroma was my alarm clock. Cole got up like he did almost every day, kissed me on the forehead and whispered, “My beautiful girl,” and went surfing. I heard the slider downstairs open and close after he came back. He used the downstairs shower in an attempt not to wake me, but I always listened for him. That’s when I would get up.
The first thing I did was look at my hands. I held my fingers outstretched in front of me to see how my nails were progressing. I was happy they didn’t look raw anymore. I hesitated going anywhere, but when I did, I kept the fingers of one hand curled tight, while Cole held the other. I wanted to keep them bandaged, but Trish and he insisted they needed the fresh air to heal. I knew they were right, and of course, they would never try to steal a look on the sly. Trish didn’t hide it; she would simply lift my hand with hers and inspect them, maybe put some antibiotic ointment if one of the nail beds looked iffy, but she was taking care of me. It was a small thing, but it felt huge.
When I was in Joe’s clutches, I remembered thinking he’d never really been violent with me, but I’d had plenty of time to think about this and if anyone had seen my hands five weeks ago, well…
I lay my head back down on the pillow and took a deep, cleansing breath. I did this again and held it. When I released it, I let the tension flow out of my body. I was aware of every naked inch. Cole made sure we were touching, skin to skin every night. I loved this. It had nothing to do with sex. It was a connection he and I shared. On this train of thought, I pushed the sheets down to my waist and kicked them the rest of the way to my feet. I let the brisk air touch me, my flesh rising in goose bumps… I was alive.
I wasn’t sure why I did this, I’d never done anything like it before. I began to move my fingertips across my forehead, down each cheek and trailing my neck where my hands crossed and moved to my breasts. I held each one, feeling the weight of them, the softness, and brushed my nipples as I made my way to my ribs and hips until I reached my knees. I tucked my hands behind each one and brought them to my chest. It was then I let the tears go. I’d been holding them in for so long. In my past, I never allowed myself to wallow or feel sorry for myself. I took the attitude that shit happens. Not just to me, but to everyone and a lot of people had it much, much worse. I was lucky, and feeling sorry for myself was an indulgence.
Still, curling up into the fetal position and crying big fat tears felt pretty great.
The bed depressed next to me and a warm body curled protectively around me. “Baby…” Cole whispered in my ear, “Shhhh… you’re safe, you’re loved my Anika.”
Yeah, I was pretty lucky.
“I’m a wuss.” I sniffled.
“No, you’re not a wuss, you’re human. You feel, you hurt, just like everyone else.” I stopped crying and turned in his arms.
“I don’t know how to go forward, Cole. I’m in a bubble again. I’m not hiding my past, I’m not hiding from it, but I’m not living either.”
“Maybe it’s time for you to call Aimes. Take that step. Ever
yone is just waiting for your signal, baby. In no way do I want you to do anything you’re not ready to do. I’m happy to take you to an island in the middle of nowhere and ravage you each and every day. Selfish of me, I know this, but I would be happy to wait on you hand and foot. But this, what’s happening right now, it’s going to follow us wherever we go.”
He was right, and I knew it. I wasn’t ready though.
“Mind if I wallow one more day?” I asked sniffling.
“I’ll bring you something to eat-”
“No, don’t leave me. Just hold me until I fall asleep again, please.”
His answer was to pull me into him and arrange the sheet over my shoulder.
“I love you, Anika.” He whispered softly to me.
“I love you too, Cole.”
Cole 9
Cole
The next few weeks went pretty fast. Anika wasn’t as self-conscious about her fingers anymore. Aimes postponed her wedding to Gus until the end of November, so they could have manicures. She explained it was a chick thing and I was fine with that. Anika never took off her ring and I spent more time than I’m willing to admit, looking at her hands. Even with only half her nails, her fingers still looked feminine, but there was no use trying to convince her of that.
My mom called every single day. I love my mom. I really do, but she was getting under my skin a little.
“This was a big deal, Cole. That’s why.” I knew I was just going to have to listen to her.
“She says she’s fine. Like it was closure for her.” I tried to explain.
“Just remember she went ten years, apparently, without any kind of anxiety until something triggered it. Just get her to talk about it, Cole.”
“Mom, I will. I am. We talk about it every day. Not all the time, but we’re not ignoring it.”
“Do you want me to talk to her, you know, woman to woman?” She was trying to be funny, my mom had a great sense of humor, but it was exhausting me.
Cole (The Leaves) Page 5
