by Kimi Flores
My heart felt heavy for him. “I’m so sorry. Where was Madison?”
“I know better than to subject her to that. I always have my nanny come over anytime we’re here so she can spare Madison the chaos. They ate dinner and went up to the study to read and color. My nanny was more of a mother than my real mother ever was.”
I frowned, surprised at how sad his statement made me. “You haven’t told me about this before.” There was so much we still had to learn about each other.
“I know,” he exhaled. “It’s not something I enjoy talking about. Stefen, Bri and I all grew up with absentee parents. We had to rely on each other and it’s why we’re so close. Our dads were always working or out of town with their girlfriends, and our moms were either fighting with each other, with our dads, or at some type of charity event. You’d never guess they were best friends in college.”
“They were best friends? What happened?” I sat up straighter, intrigued.
“My mom and dad got pregnant with me, and were forced to get married. From what my grandmother has said, my aunt had it really bad for my dad, so needless to say, things have been tense ever since.”
“I couldn’t ever imagine Leah and me fighting over a man.” Why do women throw away their friendships over guys?
“I hope not. I like Leah, but I love you, and I’m the last guy you’ll ever have in your life.”
Silence.
What was I supposed to say to that?
I could almost hear him wince. “Too soon?”
“No, you just caught me off guard.” A crooked smile appeared on my lips. He was beyond swoon-worthy. Now that I thought about it, I’d willingly spend the rest of my life fighting off any other woman who would try to snag him away.
After a slight lull, Caleb switched topics again. “So, you haven’t told me about your dad. Given any thought to finding him? I have some connections.”
I’d forgotten we’d talked about him on the way home from the observatory. Once my dad left, we’d lost all contact. It had been really hard on my mom, but we’d managed just fine without him.
I appreciated Caleb’s concern, but I wasn’t interested. “No. He made his choice, and I’ve been in Santa Barbara my entire life, so he can find me if he wants to. I’m not hiding.”
“How would you feel if he came looking for you?” He asked carefully.
“I don’t know. It would be difficult, but I wouldn’t shut him out.” I didn’t hate my father, but I was still hurt he’d left us.
“Okay, well, just let me know if you change your mind. I’m here for you, whatever you want.”
God, this man. I wished I could snuggle up to him right now. “Thanks, but I don’t see me changing my mind.” A little chilly, I shivered and pulled one of the throw comforters from the back of the couch around my body.
“You didn’t tell me about your Thanksgiving. How was it?” His voice was so smooth and I imagined him lying in a dark living room with nothing on his mind but our conversation.
I continued to tuck myself into the blanket, carefully pushing the soft material around my feet. “Full of drama as well.”
“Do tell. I haven’t had enough of my own.”
I didn’t really want to relive my evening, but I’d use any excuse to keep him on the phone. I shared everything from the engagement announcement to the choking to Elena’s final outburst.
“Wow.” Caleb full on laughed. “I’m happy for Leah’s mom, but what was up with Elena?”
“It’s always like that with her. She can’t stand to see other people happy and you should’ve seen the dirty looks she shot my way when she found out we were dating.”
“So, you were talking about me, huh?” he teased.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Well, Leah told her mom, and then she asked me about you, so yeah, I guess I was talking about you.”
“Good, because I talked about you, too.”
I swallowed. “To your parents?”
“Yeah, but mostly to Stefen and Bri. Stefen likes to give me a hard time, but Bri validated that you’re quite the catch, so he went easy on me. Julianne was happy, too. She can’t wait to meet you.”
“Julianne?” I froze.
“Yeah, my nanny.”
“Oh, you didn’t tell me her name.” What a relief. My mind had gone somewhere completely different, picturing another woman at the table next to Caleb.
“Were you just jealous?” His teasing voice did crazy things to my hypersensitive body.
“No,” I lied. “It’s just funny to hear a grown man refer to her as though she was still your nanny.”
“She’ll always be my nanny. She treats me like a son, reprimanding and all.”
I giggled. “Aww, did you misbehave?”
His husky voice lowered once more. “Always, Abby.”
And there he went again.
Chapter Seventeen
Neener Neener
Abby
Once we returned from the Thanksgiving break, Madison and a few other students were switched from one class to another, but those few parents continued to complain daily. After a week of hearing their bellyaching, Principal Hanson decided the best course of action would be to transfer me to the fifth grade and bring in a new kindergarten teacher that he’d wanted to hire for a while.
I was devastated at first. Fifth graders were not my favorite age group. They were stuck between that stage of being children and teenagers. In the past, I’d found them to be a pretty disrespectful group. And the stinky, prepubescent teenagers hadn’t learned the importance of deodorant yet, plus I really didn’t know the best way to teach them.
It broke my heart to think I would no longer be with my sweet kindergarteners, all because of politics and snotty moms who had nothing better to do with their time. There was no denying my relationship with Caleb, though. At pick up time one day, one of those damn moms, Pam Steller, asked me right in front of all the other parents if I was dating him. Pam was one of the more aggressive divorcees who’d had her eye on Caleb.
Without skipping a beat, I proudly admitted that we were, in fact, together. The sourpuss look on Pam’s face had been worth the risk. Looking back, I probably should’ve been mindful of the ramifications. As immature as it was, I couldn’t help but feel ecstatic. It was like I was announcing to the popular girls that the school quarterback had chosen me over them.
And it was the best feeling ever.
⁂
Driving to the Christmas tree lot, I sat in the passenger seat and gazed at my boyfriend. I loved calling him that. My boyfriend. My tummy fluttered at the thought. Being an independent woman, I prided myself on doing things on my own, but there was just something about having a guy help you bring your Christmas tree in for you.
Feeling the smile spread across my face, I placed my hand on top of his, then looked at Madison who sat behind her daddy. She was wearing a smile similar to mine. This felt so right and natural, as though we were all supposed to be together. I’d do anything to have them as my family.
Pulling up to the lot, we got out of the car and walked hand in hand to where the glorious smell of pine infused the cool air. I inhaled, filling my lungs with the aroma I loved so much. I was an eco-friendly gal, but there was nothing like a fresh-cut Christmas tree. Using a fake tree when I’d first became eco-aware helped me realize that some things were too special and not worth changing.
There were so many fond childhood memories attached to the smell and feel of a real Christmas tree in my home, even if I was the only person to smell and see it. The artificial tree now sat in my garage, providing a home for an entire family of spiders, and I wasn’t about to take it away from them.
Madison hopped excitedly over to a huge Douglas fir that was well over eight feet tall. “Daddy, I like this one. Can we get this big fat tree?” She flashed him her round brown eyes.
Hmmm, girlfriend knows how to get to her daddy’s soft spot.
Caleb ran his fingers through the branches, smelle
d the pine sap left on his fingers, and then walked around the enormous tree. With a huge grin, he agreed. “I like it. Let’s take it.”
“Miss Abby, time to find yours now.” Madison started to skip away when Caleb pulled her back.
“Honey, you have to stay with us. There’re too many people here. You could get lost.”
“Okay, Daddy, I’m sorry. I just got ascited.” This little girl really knew how to pull on Caleb’s heartstrings, and I was starting to catch every time she worked her magic.
“It’s okay, pumpkin, but stay with us please. We have to get someone to take this tree and put it aside, then we can look for Miss Abby’s.”
I loved watching Caleb play his daddy role. Not only did warmth spread across my chest, but it was downright sexy.
Catching me watching him, he pulled the side of his lip into a smirk, moved in close and whispered in my ear, “You see something you like?”
I nodded right before his lips pressed just under my ear. A tingle went down my spine, and I didn’t care where we were or who was watching us.
“Why are you kissing here? Go under the mistletoe.” We whipped our heads in the direction of Madison’s voice and pulled apart. Innocently, she pointed to the bundle of leaves held together with a red ribbon, hanging a couple of feet away from us. We’d gotten caught up in the moment, forgetting Madison was here.
An attendant approached Caleb to offer his help before I took a step away. “I think I’m going to check the ones in the back. Meet me in a few?”
Caleb winked in agreeance. Doesn’t he understand what that does to me?
Strolling alongside the trees, I couldn’t resist running my fingers along the branches, continuing to inhale the pine-scented air. It was a sunny day and the light was poking through the branches. The cool breeze tickled my face as I stood still and closed my eyes, taking it in. I’d never been so happy in my life. Everything was working out, and I was in love with a beautiful man, and his daughter.
Whirling around, I opened my eyes and ran smack dab into a man’s chest. A really hard one. Flustered, I looked up at the owner.
“Hey, Abs.” A familiar face was grinning down at me.
Backing away, I tried not to show my instant irritation by offering a quick, polite greeting. “Hello, Peter.”
I glanced around to see if I could spot any of his family members, then noticed the fiancé his sister had so tactfully introduced us to at the Chowder Festival. The woman I knew as Janice appeared to be searching for something. Or Someone.
“I think your girl is looking for you over there.” I pointed in Janice’s direction. I felt for her. She probably had no idea what she’d agreed to when she’d decided to marry Peter and move back to his hometown.
“She’s fine, but we need to talk.” He looked unsure, his fingers fidgeting. “Abby, I want to know where my child is.” His tone was tender, like it pained him to not know what had happened.
This threw me for a loop. I didn’t know if I should feel hate or sorrow for him. “I’m not going to talk to you about this here, Peter.”
“Then meet me somewhere,” he pleaded. “I want to know. Please.”
“You were there. You know what happened.” I was starting to get pissed when a sense of calm suddenly came over my rigid body. Caleb was near. Leisurely, he drew me to his side, kissing my temple. “You remember my boyfriend, Caleb, right?” That felt damn good to say to the guy who had caused so much pain in my life. Plus, Caleb was way hotter than Peter. It was childish, but I couldn’t help mentally doing a big fat ‘neener-neener’ fist pump.
“Nice to see you again.” Peter did the ‘guy’ nod of acknowledgment, which Caleb returned. “I heard it was official, but kind of guessed it already when we saw you at the festival.” The jerk had the nerve to smile like he’d known a secret before anyone else had.
“Who’s this?” Madison pointed to Peter.
I watched my ex doing the math in his head, like he was calculating Madison’s age. When he seemed satisfied with the number he came up with, and knew this wasn’t his child, he appeared to relax a bit.
“This is someone I went to school with, sweetie,” I chimed, answering her innocent question. I wasn’t about to give Peter credit for being anything more.
“Okay. Can we go look for your tree now, Miss Abby?”
I smiled down at her. Thank God for impatient little girls.
“Works for me.” Casually starting to stroll away with Madison, I glimpsed over my shoulder and waved. “See you later.”
Caleb stood there like he didn’t know what he was supposed to do until I tugged on his hand, pulling him alongside us.
⁂
Caleb
After dropping Abby’s tree off at her house and dragging the other one into my living room, a cell phone rang.
Abby pulled hers out of her purse. “It’s my mom. Do you mind if I take this?”
“Of course not.” I sat at one of the barstools in the kitchen, watching her walk away. It did something to me, seeing her so comfortable in my space. I liked that. A lot. Smiling to myself, I got up, grabbed the tree stand and set it up when memories of Rene suddenly started to bombard me.
When we’d decided to look for a house in Santa Barbara, she’d had one requirement. It had to have the perfect spot for a Christmas tree. We’d rejected several homes before finding this one. None of them had that perfect space. But once we walked into this place, and I saw her expression, I knew this was our home.
It was different to think about Rene now. I had so many fond memories of her. But now that I had Abby in my life, it didn’t hurt like it used to. Abby said she didn’t mind when I talked about Rene, though I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d ever been uncomfortable without telling me.
Madison came running into the living room, throwing her little body on the couch. “Daddy, can we decorate now?” She said it in a slightly whiny tone. I’d noticed she’d started doing this more and more lately.
“No, let’s allow it to sit here and get settled. After we have some lunch, we need to get ready for the Festival of Lights. Remember, we told Grammy we’d meet them later.”
She tilted her head thoughtfully. “I forgot about the festabal. I love the lights on the boats.”
I grinned, feeling my heart swell. I loved the way she enunciated words. It was going to be a sad day when she finally started to pronounce all of her words correctly.
“We can decorate tomorrow morning. Why don’t you go upstairs and play for now.”
She instantly perked up. “Can I go check on my plant?” She’d been tending to the lima bean plant for months now and was so proud of how much it had grown. I figured that pods would start to appear by spring.
I chuckled at her eagerness. “Of course, sweetie.”
She bounced through the kitchen and out the sliding glass door. She seemed to always be bouncing or skipping. I loved that she was such a happy child.
Abby came into the living room and plopped next to me, snuggling into my chest.
I rubbed a hand along her shoulder. “Everything okay with your mom?”
“Yeah, she was just telling me about her next planned cruise over the Christmas holiday. I’m surprised they haven’t bought their own boat and moved in.” She was pouting. When I watched my daughter do this, she held my heart. When I witnessed this sexy woman do it, she had my soul.
Though I wasn’t going to let her feel sorry for herself. “Your mom has worked hard her entire life, babe. She deserves this.”
She sighed. “I know, but it’s hard not having her around sometimes.” She pursed her lips. Naturally my eyes traveled to them. “Am I being selfish?” she asked with wide, sad eyes.
I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. “Not at all. You should spend more time with her, you’re her only daughter.” I couldn’t imagine Madison not spending a lot of time with me when she was an adult.
“She has Dave now; she doesn’t need me.” She continued to pout.
&n
bsp; I had to laugh at the whine in her voice. She sounded eerily similar to my daughter. “How can you say that? Every mother needs her child, no matter how old.”
“Maybe—I don’t know.” She stared across the room, not really focusing on anything in particular. “It seems like I spend more time with Grace. My mother is a completely different person than when I was growing up. She’s got her own life now, and it doesn’t always include me.”
I finally figured it out. She was hurt.
I began rubbing comforting circles on her back. “You have to understand things from her perspective though, love. She was a single mother for so long, then you left for college and she became an emptynester overnight. I’m sure she was lonely.” Noticing these words weren’t comforting her, I continued. “Now she has Dave. As her husband, he’s her life partner, so she should be spending her time with him. That doesn’t have to leave you out. He’s an addition to your family, not someone who took her from you.” I was a firm believer that there could be a great balance between parents, spouses, and children. Everyone had a place in the equation.
“I guess you’re right,” she relented sullenly. “It still stinks that she doesn’t want to spend Christmas with me, though. She was already gone for Thanksgiving.” And there was the real hurt. She wanted her mother’s time and attention during the holidays. Well, I’d make sure she didn’t have a moment to even think about it this year.
Snuggling back into my chest, she opened up. “When I was growing up, my mom used to sing that song, ‘You and Me Against the World’ by Helen Reddy every night before I went to sleep.” She peered up at me through her long lashes. “It was our thing. But you’re right, she has her things now, and I have mine.” She gave me a wicked smile that penetrated deep into my hungry core.
Clearing my throat, I moved her body to a sitting position before I acted on my feelings. “It’s a normal evolution of life. One day our kids will grow up and have their own lives separate from us, and we’ll need to be here together as partners through it all.”
