by Kimi Flores
I didn’t know how much longer I could dance around these feelings. They were getting stronger by the day.
“I love the architecture of this old house. Look at that cute white picket fence.” She pointed at the wooden fencing that surrounded the front.
After giving my name to the hostess—who couldn’t take her eyes off me, or my new imperfections, that is—we were seated and ordered our drinks. I swallowed hard, hoping Leah didn’t notice the hostess. The last thing I could handle was Leah pitying me. The dining room was fairly empty, so I didn’t receive any more stares.
After skimming through the food options, I asked, “How adventurous are you?”
She looked blankly at the menu. “Not frog leg or snail venturesome, but everything else works. Why don't you order this time since I got to order the Spanish food?” And just like when she’d ordered that food, she began to run her index finger over her bottom lip, driving me insane.
I chuckled. “Okay, so you trust me if I promise no frog legs or snails?”
She wrinkled her nose, not looking all that trusting. “Yes?”
The waiter appeared, speaking in French. “Bienvenue. Puis-je prendre votre commande s'il vous plaît? “
Although I spoke the language fluently, I decided to order in English, not wanting to frighten Leah. “We’d like to start with the grilled salad and crab cakes, then the lovely lady and I will share the filet mignon and chicken dinners.” I handed the waiter both of our menus.
“Would you like us to serve the filet mignon and chicken on one platter and give each of you an empty plate?” The waiter’s accent was exaggerated. Even I had a difficult time understanding. This guy was not a native French man. He was just playing the part.
I glanced at Leah, well aware of what she’d want. “No, we’ll be fine. Thank you.”
Rewarding me with a generous grin, she beamed. “You really do pay attention.”
“I watch you and Abby eat off each other’s plates all the time, so I figured, now that we’re friends and all, you wouldn't mind sharing with me, too. Except Abby only gives you rabbit food. You get to have meat when you’re with me.”
I winked, enjoying the blush that rose up her neck.
A server dropped glasses of water off at our table, as well as the wine we’d ordered. The interruption gave me the moment I needed to bring something up I’d been waiting to share. “So I met with a real estate agent this week, and I think I've found a place.” I took a sip of my wine.
She gasped. “Seriously, Stefen? That’s so exciting. Where is it?” Placing her elbows on the table, she laced her hands together and leaned both index fingers on her lips as she watched me attentively.
“I don't remember the name of the area, but it's on the beach. I really like it, and the buyer is anxious to sell. Quick divorce or something like that. They’re willing to work with the price and want a quick escrow. It’s time to give the newlyweds back their home.”
And their privacy. I don’t think I can take another night hearing them go at it. No wonder Madison thought they were always humping. They were.
“You know it's not an issue with them. They love having you,” she tried to convince me, but I knew better.
“If I’d just gotten married, I wouldn't want some guy staying with us. That's private bonding time you never get back.” I shrugged and took a drink of water this time, figuring I’d wait to have more wine until I ate something first.
Leah sat back in her chair with an astonished look on her face.
“What?” I asked as the appetizers arrived.
She cocked her head, studying me. “I just didn't expect you to feel that way, let alone talk about getting married. You said it wasn’t for you.” She fidgeted with the napkin in her lap.
Resting my elbows on the table, I contemplated what to say. “Well, things have changed. Who knows, maybe marriage is in my future—someday. If the right someone came along.”
I looked directly into Leah's eyes and watched her hold her breath.
She couldn’t hide any of her body language in that dress. “Has there ever been a right someone before?” She seemed more than intrigued as we both began to eat the crab cake and salad appetizer.
Caleb and Bri were the only ones that knew the story I was about to share. “I thought I did, but I'm glad it didn't end up that way.” Still eyeing her as we snacked, I continued, careful not to speak with food in my mouth. “I was in college. After Caleb and Rene got together, I started dating one of Rene's sorority sisters, Sheri.” Just saying her name made the acid burn in my stomach. I still couldn’t believe I fell for her bullshit.
“She was like every other girl I’d ever been with. From a good family, Barbie doll beautiful, fake everything, conceited and irritating as hell. The perfect girl to bring home to my mother.” I shook my head, thinking about that. Yeah, mom would’ve loved that bitch.
Leah looked down at her lap as though she was trying not to let that statement bother her.
When she looked up, I saw her waiting for me to go on, but I wondered if I should.
Despite my better judgment, I continued, “After they graduated, Caleb proposed to Rene. Even though I still had another year, I thought I’d do the same.” What a dumbass I was. “She actually laughed in my face. Turns out she’d been screwing one of my frat brothers behind my back, got pregnant, and he’d proposed the night before. She was there to break it off with me, and I was popping the question.” Irritated, I grunted. This story still pissed me off.
“I felt like the biggest dumbass. Everyone in both of our houses knew except for Caleb, Rene, and me. That's when I originally swore off marriage. But like I said,” I leaned forward, lowering my voice, “things have changed.”
Leah dabbed the corner of her mouth with her cloth napkin as the waiter dropped off our food. “Seriously? That’s crazy.”
We began to dig in to our dinners, and I said, “Apparently, there was a medical emergency with her daughter, and in doing some blood tests, they found out that Sheri’s husband wasn’t the father, either. It was too much for Chad to take, I guess, so he left her. She came looking for me after that. Said she’d made a mistake, wanted me back, and that the kid was mine after all.”
Leah coughed on her chicken.
“Are you okay?”
She recovered quickly. “Yeah, just caught off guard.” Placing her napkin back on her lap, she looked around, then asked under her breath, “So you have a child?”
Quickly shaking my head, I cleared up her misunderstanding, “Nooooo. I had a DNA test taken before I would even meet her. Not mine. You know how I feel about using protection. I’ve never gone without it. It would’ve been a miracle.” I frowned.
Shit, should I have reminded her of that?
She was aware, firsthand, that I insisted on being safe. It didn’t matter if the woman was covered or not, but my outburst might’ve been pushing this conversation a bit too far.
I switched back to the story. “The funny thing was, she’d been sleeping with at least three of us at the time, and I had absolutely no clue. I trusted her. Not sure why. I didn’t love her. I probably just got caught up in Caleb and Rene’s happy bubble and thought I could have my own. Anyway, Sheri was going down the list to see who her baby daddy was and,” I lowered my chin and voice, “I was not the father.”
“You sure know how to pick them, don't you?” She reached over and took a piece of meat off my plate before placing the forkful in her mouth.
Swallowing my mouthful, I wiped my lips with my napkin, then took another drink of water. “Yeah, no more bleach blonde bimbos for me. It’s given me nothing but grief—for the girls too, I guess. Not sure where things are headed for me, but I just can’t go back to that lifestyle anymore.”
She changed the subject. “That food was delicious. I'm stuffed.” Looking at her half-empty plate, she completely avoiding eye contact.
When her phone chimed, she checked it, smiled, then text back.
M
y jaw locked, assuming it was Ben. This was the reminder I needed to snap out of it. Even though she and Ben were not officially a couple, Leah wasn’t mine either. End of story.
The waiter showed up and asked if we wanted dessert. Leah shook her head ‘no’.
I answered, “Non merci, juste le chèque s'il vous plaît.”
Responding to my request for the check, the waiter was prepared to place the bill on the table when I handed him my Amex Platinum card.
The corner of Leah’s mouth and eyes tightened.
I raised my eyebrows. “My turn.”
She lifted her hands in front of her. “I know. I didn’t say anything.”
If we were going to do this back and forth paying thing, I would sure as hell make sure she didn’t pay for a five-star restaurant.
I watched her closely. “I have another favor to ask. I'm meeting the real estate agent at the house tomorrow, and I'd like you to come with me. I want to make sure I'm not jumping into something, and since you are ‘keeping things real’ with me, I’d like your opinion.”
Tapping her chin with her index finger, Leah said, “Let me think. Shopping for a Porsche one day and looking at a beach house the next.” She smiled and giggled. “Do you really want me to 'keep things real' at this point?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes or no, brat?”
Pretending to be irritated, she huffed, “Why don’t you twist my arm with all that charm, Stefen? Yes—I'll go.”
⁂
“Are you tired?” I asked as we entered the house.
“Not really.” She pursed her lips and shook her head.
“It's still pretty early. Wanna watch a movie? Caleb has a huge collection. I'll even let you pick it.” I pointed to the built-in bookcases filled with movie titles.
“Sure.” She smiled. “Let me go put something more comfortable on and grab a pillow first.” Hoping she didn’t turn and catch me again, I kept my eyes planted on her as she swayed her hips on her way up the stairs. I was already missing that dress.
Giving her a little space, I waited a few minutes before going upstairs to change. I wasn't sure what she meant by ‘something more comfortable’, but I was going to play it safe with athletic shorts, a T-shirt, and thick socks.
When I got downstairs, she was already in front of the DVDs, scanning through the titles in skintight yoga pants that hugged her curves almost as nicely as that dress. Her T-shirt was a bit too baggy for my taste.
“What kind of movies do you like?” she asked, squatting down in front of the collection.
I shrugged. “Anything but horror.” I plopped myself onto the oversized U-shaped leather couch.
“How about one of the Bourne movies?” Her face lit up.
“Bourne?” I rubbed my hands together, just as excited as her. “Marry me,” I teased. She stiffened up and stared at me, and I instantly regretted it, stumbling to cover up my slip of the tongue. “You know, because it's my favorite series besides James Bond, of course.”
She nodded, catching on to the joke. “Okay. I'll let you put it in. I'm not great with electronics.” She sat down on the couch, pulling her legs up as she hugged her pillow.
I set up the movie and laid down on my back next to Leah. “Why the pillow?”
She hugged it even tighter. “I don't know. I've always watched movies like this. It’s comfortable.”
I laughed, and she bopped me in the face with it. “Not funny.”
“Hey, what was that for?” I glared up at her.
“For being nosy.” She jokingly narrowed her eyes at me, and I laughed louder. “Shhh—I'm trying to watch my favorite movie.” She bopped me again, but this time I shielded myself.
I settled into the couch, getting a little more comfortable. “You sound like your mom with her novellas.”
When she stuck her tongue out at me, I was about to lose my resolve. The urge to sling her over my shoulders and take her upstairs was overpowering. She had no idea how the simplest of actions made me want her more than any other woman ever had.
I pointed a finger at her. “You’d better stop that, or I'm telling her you’re being a brat.”
Or I'm going to grab that mouth and kiss the hell out of it.
The movie was starting, and she threw her pillow at me again as a challenge. I wasn’t letting her off that easily. Grabbing onto her waist, I twisted her around until she was nestled underneath me.
Hovering above her, my arm began to shake slightly as I stared a few inches over her face, reminding me that I didn’t have the strength I used to. As much as I would’ve loved to follow through on my hunger of taking her right now, I knew it would ruin everything we’d worked for. It was only fair, however, to warn her about my weakness when it came to her.
I breathed in her face, causing her to blink. “I’m holding your pillow hostage if you hit me with it or stick your tongue out again. I’m trying really hard here, Leah. You’ve got to know how attracted I am to you.” Losing my balance, my body pressed into her. The contact caused her eyes to roll back in pleasure. I was about to make a move when she quickly blinked in surprise.
Regret hit me instantly. Moving away, I apologized, “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for.”
The leather squeaked as I sat on the opposite side.
She pushed herself up on her elbows, wide eyed, catching her breath. “I’m sorry, too. I feel it, too. But we can’t. Let’s just watch the movie.”
I tossed the pillow back in her direction, disappointed that she pointed out the truth. Without hesitation, she flipped to her side and put her head down on it. Evidently, we were done talking about it.
We were silent during the movie, and somewhere in the middle, we fell asleep.
⁂
Leah
I woke up with only the light of the television illuminating the room. I tried to sit up when something hit my head.
“Ouch,” I mumbled, realizing it was Stefen's head that had bumped me.
We were sharing my pillow at the junction of the L-shaped part of the couch. My body laid at one angle and his on the other. Turning, I watched him sleep for a moment. The peace on his face as he lightly snored was a welcome sight. He must be exhausted.
I traced the lines of his face with my eyes until I stopped at his lips. Suddenly, I felt blood rushing through my veins, causing my body to pound. I loved his lips and remembered exactly what they felt like on my skin.
No. Stop.
Careful not to wake him, I got up, turned off the TV, then grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch. As I covered him, he roused.
“What are you doing?” His rough, groggy voice was one of my favorite sounds.
“Just making sure you don’t freeze to death.”
He backed up, making room for me. “Don't leave. I haven't had any nightmares tonight. I promise I’ll behave.” His frantic tone broke my heart.
“You stole my pillow.” I pointed like a five-year-old.
“Here, take it.” He pulled it out from under his head and handed it to me. “Just don't go. Please.”
Grabbing my hand, he pulled me down in front of him, tossing the couch cushions from the backrest onto the floor to give us more space.
“Stefen, I don't know if this is a good idea,” I whispered, unsure of what I should do.
His breath hit my cheek. “Please, Leah. I sleep better when you’re beside me.”
Fighting back my tears, I attempted to lighten the mood. “All right, but don't take my pillow.”
“Deal.” He covered our bodies with the same blanket.
Being in his arms and spooning on the couch was comfortable, but I knew deep down this was all wrong. This was a completely new territory for both of us, and we were going to have to figure out how to make this work. I needed him in my life, but it would have to be on a healthy level.
Several hours had passed before I woke up to the sound of the front door opening.
I shook him. “Stefen, wake up. Someone’s here.”
“What? Who?” His eyes popped open, trying to focus.
A rather voluptuous woman walked through the door, carrying cleaning supplies. She was startled when she saw me fly up off the couch.
“Hi Martha,” Stefen said, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Oh, Mr. Stefen. I didn't see you there. Good morning. Should I start upstairs first?”
“No, that's okay. We'll go up and you can start down here.” He picked up the pillow and pressed a hand on my lower back, leading me up the stairs.
When we got to the top, I was biting my nail. “What the hell?” I demanded.
He looked sheepish. “I forgot she was coming. Caleb hired her to clean the house a couple times a week, but she comes when Abby isn’t here. Abby doesn’t know yet, so don’t say anything.” He pointed at me, knowing me all too well.
I pressed a hand to my still thumping heart. “She scared the crap out of me.”
“Sorry.” His hand grazed my cheek, making me forget all about Martha cleaning downstairs. “Are you awake, or do you want to go back to sleep?” he smirked, knowing exactly what his touch was doing to me.
“I’m definitely awake now.” And it’s time for me to step away from the hot guy.
I remembered today’s plans. “What time are we meeting the realtor?”
“Eleven.” He cocked his head, his eyes filled with hope. “I thought we could walk around the beach after that, if you don't mind.”
“Sure, I'm going to jump in the shower first.” I turned and headed into the room where my suitcase was.
“Well, I'm going back to bed for a few more minutes,” I heard him call out. “Wake me up when you’re out. We can grab a bite on the way.”
Digging through my suitcase to grab my clothes for the day, I yelled back, “Will do.”
⁂
Stefen
I was excited for Leah to see the house. I couldn’t put my finger on why exactly. She was about to help me make a huge decision. I’d never asked another girl for an opinion on anything. Ever. But I was starting to realize I’d been wasting too much of my life doing things by myself.
