by Kimi Flores
Abruptly, Ben insisted, “Let's get going.”
I stepped around the table, hugging my mom and Sal goodbye. Outside, I watched as Ben walked to his car, opened his door, and got in—before I even stepped off the porch.
Really? Stefen would never do that. I’d become so accustomed to how he treated me that it was difficult not comparing the two men. I shrugged to myself, then walked to the car and got in.
“I'm exhausted,” he professed between two yawns.
I glared at him, but he didn’t even know. “We don't have to go out. I kind of wanted to go see Stefen before visiting hours were over anyway.” It was a cheap shot, but I felt it a necessary action to get him to actually focus on me. This whole thing was getting tiring.
I wish Stefen hadn’t asked me to leave. I would much rather hang out with him at the hospital than be in this car right now.
“No!” And just like that, he was magically alert and awake. “I'm fine. Do you mind if we just go somewhere more low key, though? I'm not dressed for anything fancy, and I didn't get to shower.”
So that was the smell. I’d thought something died. It almost reminded me of that nasty ass smell in Abby’s fridge.
“Sure.” Trying not to wrinkle my nose or look disappointed, I plastered a fake smile on my lips and looked out the windshield. He never even noticed.
If I’d gone to the trouble of getting all dressed up, I was going out. Even if I’d rather just go back to my mom’s and put on my jammies.
A few yawns and blocks later, we pulled into the parking lot of a famous fast food chain.
This is not happening.
I discreetly checked out my outfit again as Ben got out and headed to the double glass doors, then held them open for me. I was still in the freaking car.
Snatching my small matching purse, I opened the door, slamming it behind me with a little more effort than necessary. I hated fast food. Maybe this was the most famous of all the drive-thrus around but I never ate here. I didn't even know what was on the damn menu. At least he held the door long enough for me to pass.
A little boy torpedoed past me, running his french-fried, greasy fingers along the bottom of my new dress. I loved kids but didn't plan on spending my evening with so many. Looking up at the menu, I couldn't see anything that grabbed my attention.
Salad.
Dammit.
I was going to have a freaking salad for dinner. Mami didn't raise salad eating girls. That came at the beginning of dinner. It wasn’t the whole damn meal.
We slowly and silently made our way up to the cashier.
“How may I serve you?” asked the pimple-faced teenager behind the counter.
My stomach turned a little. At least he wasn’t handling the food.
“I'll take two double cheeseburgers, a large fry, large soda, and a chocolate shake.” Ben finally looked at me. There was the smile I loved staring at from afar in high school. Before I found out how dull he was, that is. “I'm really hungry.”
“Sure.” I turned to the boy. “I'll take a chicken salad please, and, uh, I guess a bottled water.” What the hell? I may as well get a water if I’m eating a damn salad.
After hearing the total, Ben pulled his credit card out.
“Oh I'm sorry, our system is down. We’re only taking cash right now.”
Who pays with cash anymore? Shouldn’t they have a sign posted?
Ben panicked, his face turning a little red. “I don't have any cash on me. Do you have an ATM?”
The boy pointed to his left. “It isn’t working either.”
Ben huffed loudly, “Let's go.” He started to direct me out of the line.
“Wait, I have some cash. Let me pay.”
He looked into my eyes, defeated.
I stuck my foot out and pointed my finger in the air. “Look, you’re tired and hungry. You didn’t know. Just let me.”
I turned back to the cashier, handing him the bills.
“I'll pay you back,” Ben said, throwing his shoulders back and lifting his chin, just like another man I knew would’ve done.
Actually, he would’ve never taken me out for fast food and would’ve given me at least one compliment on how I looked. Shaking my thoughts away, we walked toward a table. The place was packed. The only spot available was a teeny tiny two-seater with swiveling chairs.
I settled in, asking, “So how was your day?”
“Busy. Tiring.” He leaned back. His arms hanging off the top of the tiny chair. His legs were spread eagle under the table, leaving little room for my legs.
“I talked to Stefen before you picked me up. He told me you checked on him.”
I know I’m being a bitch, but I couldn’t care less. I just want to go home.
“Oh. Is that what he said?” He moved his arms down to his side and stared blankly at me.
“Yeah, why?”
“No reason.” He shrugged, looking around at the other diners.
Nothing? That’s all the reaction you’re gonna give me? Why didn’t I see how boring you were way back when?
Finally looking at me, he added, “He’ll be ready to leave in the morning. Is he hiring someone to help him out once he gets home? He’ll be immobile for about a week.”
Here we go. I was hoping to have this talk over the phone, but now that I opened my big fat mouth, trying to get some kind of reaction from him, I was about to get a doozy.
Clearing my throat, I held my head high, “No, I'm staying with him.”
He rolled his eyes and said sarcastically, “What a shock.”
Our number was called, and Ben pushed himself up with such force that the swivel chair slammed back and forth hitting the table a couple of times. My face fell as I watched him stomp away.
What the hell did I ever see in him? Looks are not everything.
Returning with a scowl on his face, Ben dropped the tray on the small table, then plopped back into the chair. The tray was so huge, it practically covered the entire surface.
I grabbed my water and salad as he gulped half of a hamburger in one bite. Gross.
Suddenly, it was like my blinders were completely off and this was not the guy I wanted to be with tonight, or any other night. I still had to get through dinner, though. I didn’t know how to act around this grumpy-ass version of Ben sitting in front of me, so I just ate.
Glancing down at my meager salad, I realized there was no way this was going to fill me up. I couldn't wait to get home and eat some of the left overs my mom was sure to have.
Around my fifth bite of the wilted lettuce, squishy cucumber and hard cheese salad, Ben finally spoke. “Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have acted that way. I'm exhausted and just hearing that you’re going to be alone in his house with him, for a week, set me off.”
Getting angry, I stabbed the one tomato with my flimsy plastic fork. “If you’re so tired, you should’ve cancelled tonight, or better yet, you shouldn’t have even asked me out.”
He thought one week was bad? If he knew how much alone time Stefen and I spent at his house, he would probably flip his lid.
“I never get to see you, Leah. We’re either working or too tired to make the effort. This is why I didn't want to date anyone yet.”
I blinked, fork frozen somewhere near my mouth. Wow, that was one hard slap across my face. Tossing the utensil down, I let him have it. “I never asked you to date me, Ben. You’re the one who asked me out.”
It was humiliating, having this discussion in front of all of these people, in such a confined space. Then again, it was so loud in here that nobody was listening anyway.
He began to plead, “That's not what I mean. I’ve wanted to date you since high school. I couldn’t believe it when I saw you that night.”
Losing my appetite, I pushed my food to the side.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I recognize this is pure selfishness, but I want you, okay? I like you, a lot. Can we just leave it like it is for now? I know I said I didn't mind you dating anyone
else, but,” he gave me a pained look, “just—not him, okay?”
“What? This is absurd.” I threw my arms up, not caring who watched. “We don’t see each other, hardly ever talk, and you’ve barely even kissed me,” I admitted, a little embarrassed. “You spend your limited free time with your basketball friends, even when I’m in town. I’ve only put up with it this long because there isn’t anyone else right now. Stefen and I are just friends because we were together once, and it didn't work.”
It didn’t matter what feelings I’d had for Ben in the past, I deserved better than this. Whatever this was. He wanted to keep me waiting around for something that may or may not happen? Not anymore. I needed a man willing to build a relationship over time. One who put me first and treated me like a lady.
Ben was wearing an I knew it look, arms folded across his chest. “Did you sleep with him?”
My mouth fell open. What nerve! “That is none of your business. I haven’t asked who you’ve slept with, and really you have no right to ask me that at this point in our non-relationship.”
“That was all the answer I needed,” he muttered under his breath. “I’m not hungry anymore. I'll be right back.”
I glanced at the tray. He’d already eaten one burger, the fries, and inhaled the shake. How could he have an appetite to lose?
Returning with a plastic bag, Ben threw in the last burger and picked up his trash. I covered my salad with the plastic lid, grabbed my water bottle, and walked out to his car to wait for him.
Worst freaking date ever!
⁂
Stefen
I paced in my hospital room as I anxiously waited for Leah. After seeing Ben yesterday and hearing his plans, I decided that I was going to put it all on the line. I had to tell her how I felt. As much as I didn’t want to risk losing her, I needed to see if there was at least a small possibility for us as a couple, before she rode off into the sunset with the wrong guy.
The moment she showed up would also mean that I could leave this sterile environment for the last time. Besides a final check-up scheduled with a doctor closer to home, I was done with surgeries, physical therapy, and my least favorite part of this whole thing—dealing with Ben.
As though he'd heard my thoughts, Dr. Asshat appeared at the doorway, casually leaning against the metal frame. “I bet you can't wait to get out of here.”
“You can say that again.” I pulled the grey T-shirt that displayed my favorite hockey team’s logo over my head.
Ben curiously asked, “Is Leah coming to get you?”
Ah, that's what this pleasant visit was about. If he went out with her last night, then he’d know that she was picking me up. Besides, who else did he think would?
“Yeah, she should be here any minute.”
As if on cue, she strolled past Ben, avoiding his eyes, keeping her back to him.
What was that about? I recognized it. I'd seen her avoid my own eyes when I made her uncomfortable. Fury suddenly erupted in my chest. Did he screw her and leave her, too?
No way. She’d never do that. Again.
Shit, am I too late?
“Hey,” she breathed out loud enough for me to hear. “You ready to go?” She would only look at me.
I hated making assumptions, but after seeing how she avoided Ben, my aching heart pounded violently. I glared at Ben, ready to beat the shit out of him.
He interrupted my thoughts. “Leah, can I talk to you for a minute?”
Closing her eyes, she held her breath.
Not happening. She’s not talking to him. I wasn’t letting this happen. “Actually, we need to get back.” I touched her arm to let her know I was taking control. “Ready?”
Popping her eyes open, she nodded, a little relieved. “Where are your bags?”
“I’ll get it. My eye may be shit, but my arms are plenty strong now.” I stretched my arms down, showing off my muscles.
The good doctor took the hint. Pushing himself away from the doorway, he grunted and walked away.
Pulling her toward my chest, I whispered, “You’ll tell me in the car?”
Her long, dark hair slid up and down her shoulder as she nodded again.
“Let's go,” I said, rushing us out. I was done with this place.
Grabbing my leather duffle bag, we headed out. I spotted Ben watching them from the nurse’s station. He looked like a panther ready to pounce.
Watch this, you ass. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her close to my side. As usual, she melted into me.
You might think she’s your future, but she’s going home with me, and I intend on making her mine.
Rounding the corner, I peered over my shoulder and gave Ben my best cocky smirk. He was giving me a deadly glare in return. I just shook my head.
Too little, too late, dumb shit.
We’d made our way to my car, and started off for the town I never imagined I would call home.
The space in the car was silent for a while. Too long. Five minutes into our drive, I finally got the courage to break the silence.
“You’re quiet,” I said softly. “Do you want to talk?”
I’d felt so cocky leaving the hospital with my arm around her, but now I wanted to know what the hell was going on. My knee was bobbing with curiosity.
What happened with Ben? Why is she so quiet?
She bit the inside of her cheek as she held tight to the steering wheel. “I broke up with Ben last night,” she blurted, then tipped her head as she added, “Well, I’m not sure that’s the right word when we were never officially dating. I don’t know why I’m upset. I didn’t even like him that much.” She puffed out, “I guess I just got caught up in old feelings, but my heart was never in it.” She shook her head. “He sure looked good on paper. Really, in fairness to Ben, he was nothing more than my rebound guy.”
“I’m sorry.” This was fantastic news, so why did I feel like shit? I’d suspected from the beginning that Ben might be the one she turned to, hoping he would pick up the pieces of her that I broke.
“Yeah, I’m sure you are,” she mumbled, still looking upset.
Surprised by her comment, I jerked my head back to look at her as she drove. I thought we were okay. Even better than okay.
She exhaled loudly. “Don’t listen to me. I’m just irritated. I feel like I can’t win when it comes to men. I have the worst luck. I either date guys who only want to sleep with me, or they string me along. It’s always been that way. Even my college boyfriend strung me along forever until I found him in bed with another girl.”
Reality slapped me upside the head. What did I do? Her scars run even deeper than I realized. “Oh shit, Leah, I hate that I added to that.” I blinked hard.
She somberly glanced over at me. “Trust me, Stefen, you were not the only one. I’m just tired of even trying.”
The honesty in her words stabbed me in the heart. The same heart I was finally ready to give her.
“I’m not blaming you,” she said. “We talked, you’re forgiven, but I’m so burned out on guys right now. I’m swearing off men for a long time. It’s just not worth the effort.” Her eyes were glossed over when she glanced over again. Placing her hand on top of mine, she added, “Thanks for being my friend. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Friends. Awesome. Just what I always wanted. I leaned back in the seat, fisting my hands in frustration.
I was too late. Not because of Ben. Because I’d screwed up the first time. I was a part of this, hurting her, hardening her. I had to face the fact that no matter how I felt about her, she wasn’t willing to take another risk. Even with me.
Chapter Eighteen
No Need to Sugar Coat Things
Stefen
I sat at the refurbished wooden bar at Evanwood’s Vineyard while I waited for Leah to finish making all the arrangements for tomorrow. Filling my lungs with the smell of wine-filled barrels, I swirled my favorite Pinot Noir in the wide bowl of my glass before taking a sip.
>
I was beginning to get used to the sting. This beloved ache of being only Leah’s ‘friend’. After her speech about swearing off men, no matter how painful it was, I had no plans of acting on my love for her.
If I accidently brushed up against her or caught her looking at me again, I was going to lose my damn mind. I had to get over her for my own sake, but how?
Glancing up, I found a group of women ogling me. Women were always staring at me. It used to matter, but it didn’t much now. They didn’t know the real me. If they knew what a bastard I was, they’d stay the hell away. I’d thought with the disfiguration in my eye, they’d stay away on their own. Not so much.
One in particular was looking a little longer than the others. She seemed like the wild one of the group with her fiery red hair and the lust in her eyes. She was licking her heart-shaped lips.
Drinking my wine, I shook my head, not wanting to pay any attention to her.
Not too long ago, I would’ve jumped on that. Hello, nice to meet you. My place or yours? A kind thank you, then a forever good bye.
That wasn't me anymore, though. My heart wasn't in it. Then again, my heart may never get what it really wanted. Maybe this could be a good diversion.
I watched Zachary approach the group of women, then saw the slender finger of the redhead pointing at me. It would only be a matter of minutes before she would make her move. I’d bet money on it.
I turned away, nursing my wine as I watched the scene unfold in the mirror behind the bar. Zachary was nowhere near the jerk I originally thought. He’d actually turned out to be kind of a buddy. I wondered what this buddy of mine would tell the ladies about me. He’d already shared with Leah, months ago, that he thought she and I should be together. But now, he had to see it was impossible.
After making a rude gesture to her friends, the predator in the capris and white lace top sauntered over to me, oozing seduction. I offered her a sly grin. Yep, this woman was looking for some action, for sure.
Curious as to how this conversation would go, I wondered if I would let her hook me. There was no good reason why I couldn’t have some fun. I was free to roam. If this tramp was willing to take my mind off Leah, then nobody would be hurt.
