by Kimi Flores
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What am I doing? I asked myself for the millionth time since I’d left the club with Josh. I’ve never done anything like this before.
Walking through the luxurious hotel lobby, I snuggled my cheek against his sport jacket, breathing him in while his arm draped possessively over my shoulder. It still didn’t make sense that he’d left me hanging at the bar a few nights ago but I was on cloud nine, now that I knew he’d also felt our connection. I was sure of it. Why else would he leave with me tonight when there were so many other beautiful girls to choose from?
For someone who’d had so much to drink, he was walking pretty straight and his conversation was just as coherent as ever. “I can’t wait to get you in my room,” he growled in my ear as the elevator door opened.
Holy hell.
A tantalizing shiver ran down my spine. My amatory smile quickly disappeared as the doors closed and his mouth covered mine. Without skipping a beat, he hiked my dress up just enough, and pinned me against the elevator wall as I instinctively wrapped my legs around his hips. I heard myself moan when he pressed himself onto my hypersensitive body as his hands greedily roamed every inch of my exposed skin.
This is actually happening.
The woody spice flavor from the drinks he’d had at the club flooded my taste buds. Breaking away, I took a moment to catch my breath. I’d never been with a guy this way before, but after our hot and heavy make out session in the limo, I was ready and willing to do anything he wanted tonight.
When the elevator car came to a stop, he gave me a mischievous smile. “Looks like this is our floor.” Staring into his cobalt blue eyes, my chest heaved in and out before he pecked my mouth, sucking on my bottom lip, igniting every nerve in my body.
He lowered me onto my unsteady legs, smoothed the back of my dress down then pulled me by the hand out of the elevator. “Room’s down here.” He picked up the pace as we strode down the long hall.
At what I assumed was his room, he spun me around, threading his fingers into my short auburn hair and crashed his eager lips on mine once again.
Overwhelmed, I couldn’t think straight. I was inundated with both nervousness and anticipation. I’d never felt desire like this before. One thing was sure, I had no control of what would happen next. Josh seemed plenty skilled, and I hoped my lack of experience didn’t disappoint him. Every guy wants to be with a virgin though, right? And what better guy to finally give mine to? I couldn’t wait to see if this whole sex thing was as mind blowing as all my friends had raved about.
As he opened the door with his keycard and backed us into the dark room, I allowed myself one gulp.
Whatever happens after, I hope my heart can handle it.
Chapter One
Rude Awakening
Seven years later…
Bri
“Mom, it’s—” I pulled the phone away, squinting as my tired eyes adjusted to the brightness of my cell in the dimly lit bedroom. I pushed the palm of my hand into my throbbing forehead. “—five-thirty in the morning, please don’t start with me.”
Exhausted after my pity party for one last night, I wondered why I even answered the phone. Rolling my eyes, I knew the answer. Because she would’ve kept calling just like she does every time I try to ignore her. At least it’s too early for her to be drunk.
“Bri, I just can’t comprehend why on earth you would purposely move to the same city where your cousin and overbearing brother live.”
“I’ve been here for months now mom, why do you keep bringing this up?”
“Exactly. It’s been months and you’re still alone. Those two are never going to let any men near you. God knows you already have the odds stacked against you.” Her haughty tone grated on my nerves.
Dammit, why does she always do this to me?
I’d spent most of my twenty-seven years trying to please this woman, with no success. When I turned twenty-one I’d even gone as far as getting the nose job she insisted I needed.
What a waste. She said it was still crooked, and I should sue the doctor for negligence.
Whatever.
I had a zillion reasons for moving to Santa Barbara. One of which was that I was tired of traveling. I’d been running away from my troubles for years and until now, I hadn’t felt confident enough to set my roots anywhere. Although at times, I still felt a bit out of sorts in the condo I shared with my best friend, it was also nice to have a place I could hide in when the world became too much to handle.
The main reason however was that I loved living so close to the only family members who actually cared about me. There was nothing left for me in Chicago. My mother’s disparaging remarks were difficult enough to deal with over the phone, I didn’t want her to have the ability to drop by whenever she felt the need to dole out her criticism. Although I knew my father loved me, I never got to spend any time with him. He chose to escape our dysfunctional family life by throwing himself into his career at his law firm.
If it hadn’t been for my cousin, Caleb, and my ‘overbearing brother’, Stefen, I wouldn’t have survived growing up. Not only had they done their best to shield me from my mother’s attacks, but they also unknowingly picked up my broken heart and nursed it back to health after I let the one and only guy in. When I had a nervous breakdown after leaving school and telling my father I wasn’t going to practice law after all, Stefen was the one by my side. Caleb would’ve been, but he was still grieving the loss of his first wife. I was forever indebted to my two protectors and loved that I now lived in the same town with them and their families.
I closed my eyes tight, hoping this call didn’t last much longer. “Will you ever have anything nice to say to me?”
Her snide chuckle was a familiar sound. “Oh, dear, you don’t need me filling your head with nonsense. That’s what your brother is there for. I’m just saying that with Caleb and him hovering over you, that’s yet another obstacle a gentleman with prestige will have to overcome. It already isn’t worth a man’s effort to bother with you.”
I buried my head further into my pillow and stared up at the ceiling, fighting back tears. Just one nice thing, that’s all I want. “I’m very happy with my life, Mother. And I don’t need a guy around.” All they do is break your heart anyway. “And who cares about status?” I pulled my fluffy comforter up further, wishing I could end this call and go back to sleep.
My mother gasped audibly. “I do Brianna. If you can’t find someone with some sort of social standing for yourself, can’t you at least do it for me? I’ve sacrificed everything for you.”
“What?” I shot up a little too fast, causing my head to spin. “You’ve sacrificed for me? What the hell have you ever given up for me, Mother?”
She snapped back, “Don’t you dare use that language or tone with me, young lady. I gave up my body, my future, and my dignity because of you and your brother. If it hadn’t been for the two of you, I could’ve left your father a long time ago and found another man in a more affluent family who didn’t question everything I did.”
Forget staying comfortable in bed. The low morning light began to spill through my curtains as I bounded out from under the covers. Pacing back and forth on the cold wooden floor, I tried to calm down. “A more affluent family? We have plenty of money. What more do you want?”
She breathed out her snooty irritation. “You know, your father has me on a budget? A budget. Can you imagine? Another man would never have done that to me.”
That’s weird. Daddy has plenty of money, why is he limiting her spending?
“Bri, I can’t live like this much longer. I always hoped your brother would take care of me in my more mature age, but now that he’s gone and married that, that—”
I stopped pacing, filled with fury. “Watch what you say, Mother. Leah and I are close, and you have no idea what you’re missing by writing her off.”
“Great, she’s gotten to you, too.” She huffed, condescendingly.
I’m over this conversa
tion. “That’s enough. I’m hanging up now.”
“Wait! I need your help,” she had the audacity to blurt out.
Placing my hand on my hip, I irritably shifted back and forth. “So your plan is to call me before the sun comes up, sling your insults, then ask for help?”
Apparently I’m good enough to ask a favor from, but useless for everything else.
She huffed, “Brianna, stop being so dramatic. I just need a little loan. I promised the girls at the club that I’d buy a ticket to our next benefit dinner, and your father won’t budge on my allowance.”
Frustrated, I slapped the top of my thigh then something hit me. “Wait, what happened to the money your aunt just left you?” You know, the aunt none of us knew existed?
“There wasn’t much. It didn’t last long,” she grumbled.
Ugh! “How much do you need?”
“Ten thousand dollars,” she stated plainly.
My mouth fell open. “For a dinner? What the hell are they serving? Almas Caviar?”
Probably not. That disgusting stuff costs more than that.
“It’s for charity,” she defended in a arrogant tone.
I shook my head and couldn’t believe the money wasted at these events. “Why don’t you be a true philanthropist, cut out the fancy party, and give all that money directly to the charity?”
“That’s not how it works, and you know it.” It didn’t matter that she was asking for a favor, she just couldn’t seem to drop the egotistical way she went about doing it.
Taking a calming breath, I sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling my legs underneath me. If I was going to stand on that cold floor, I needed to get some warm socks on. “What organization are you raising money for?”
“We haven’t decided yet.”
Of course. “So you’re planning an outrageously expensive dinner with a ridiculous ticket price, for a charity you haven’t decided to support yet, and you need to borrow money to do all of this? That makes no sense.” Surely, I was pissing my mom off, but I was tired and didn’t care.
The line was silent for a moment. “Bri,” she said curtly. “Your grandfather left you plenty of money to share. Why are you giving me a hard time about this? Don’t you believe in helping those less fortunate?”
I bit back a groan. “First of all, yes, grandfather did leave me plenty of money, but I’m careful what I spend it on. If I blew money the way you apparently do, then I wouldn’t have anything left. As far as helping others—” I paused, contemplating even sharing but I was proud to play a part in something so important to my sister-in-law. “I’ve been helping Leah out with her special needs dance class. I wouldn’t call it charity work, because I get more out of being with the kids than they get out of me being there.”
“How can you help with a dance class? You have no rhythm,” she was quick to reply.
Clenching my teeth, I gritted out, “It’s not about my ability, Mother. It’s about my willingness to help the kids. They actually appreciate a kind word and encouragement. There’s no judgment over my lack of skills.”
She sharply cut to the chase. “Are you going to give me the money or not?”
Dammit, if I don’t, she’ll never let me live it down.
“Fine. But just this once.” And I’m going to make sure daddy knows about it. “I’ll transfer the money to your account on Monday.”
I could hear the triumphant sneer in her tone. “That’s a good girl. Maybe I can count on you for something, after all. You really do need to find a good man to take care of us.”
“Goodbye, Mother.” I ended the call, turned my phone off, then tossed it onto my bed.
Great, now I’ll never get back to sleep. Coffee time.
After using my en-suite bathroom, I slipped on a pair of oversized socks, cozy pajama pants, and a sweatshirt, then put my long dark hair in a quick bun. Stepping out of my bedroom, I ran into a large male figure.
Jumping back, I yelped, “Who the hell are you?”
The stranger smirked, giving his cocky response, “I’ll be anyone you want me to be.”
Thrown off kilter, I began to yell for him to get out when something clicked. “Wait. Don’t you work at El Ranchero?”
“Yeah, so?” He narrowed his eyes.
Excuse me, asshole. You’re standing in my hallway. “So what the hell are you doing in my apartment?” I mirrored his body language, moving my open palms to my waist.
He held his hands up. “Relax, Dani brought me home last night.”
Rolling my eyes, I pushed past him. “Great,” I muttered under my breath.
My roommate, Dani, who also happened to be Leah’s sister, had only brought a few guys home since we’d moved in together five months ago. This, however, was the first morning run in. “Where’s Dani?”
Bartender asshat followed closely behind. “Asleep. You got any coffee by any chance?”
Dani’s guest, not mine, I reminded myself. I bet he didn’t even tell her he was leaving.
“Nope.” I made my way to the deep purple, velvety sofa. Damn, now I have to wait until he leaves before I can make mine.
“Okay, well I’m gonna take off then.”
Raising an eyebrow, I sat down. You want a freaking trophy? I noticed he was wearing his work clothes but carried his shoes in one hand. Probably trying to tiptoe out so Dani didn’t hear him leave. What a prick.
Sneering, he stood there a moment longer. “Unless of course you’re interested in me giving you a go around too.”
I swallowed my disgust. This guy has got to go now. I need my coffee before I beat the shit out of him. “Goodbye,” I said disdainfully, and he closed the front door behind him.
Because of this morning’s less than welcome wake up call, I was tired, cranky, and needed some caffeine. Not to mention the cramps starting up that would last at least a week before I actually started my period.
After making my cup of hot liquid happiness, I settled on the couch with my laptop. Until last night, I’d been so good at not looking him up. Image after image of different girls draped all over him had popped up on my screen and catapulted my gloomy attitude. Yet, this morning I found myself typing his name in the search engine again.
Josh Tucker—the guy who squashed my heart.
It had been years since I’d seen him then I ran into him last fall at a private get together at Evanwood’s Vineyard. I still couldn’t believe he was related to the owner, the very guy who’d become really good friends with Stefen and Leah.
I’d spotted Josh as we raced up the windy Highway 154, until the bastard found an open spot and sped by me. I did have the satisfaction of flipping him off as he zoomed past.
Small victory, but with my life I’ll take them where I can get them.
The shocking part of that day came when I finally gathered enough nerve to get out of the car to meet him face to face. He’d acted like he had no freaking idea who I was. I’d never been more hurt and humiliated in my life. Well, except for the night it all happened, of course.
I thought I was over him and tried to move on. The problem was that I’d temporarily volunteered to help Leah with her floral business and found myself out at the vineyard quite often, working on the weddings that took place there. The same vineyard that just so happen to belong to Josh’s cousin and uncle of course. As a result, I’d seen him a few times since. I was not surprised that he still pretended not to notice me.
Asshole.
After a few minutes of unhealthy cyber-stalking, I heard a noise off to the side. Looking up, I saw Dani walking out of the kitchen, with her long black hair sticking up in all directions as she held her own cup O’ joe.
“You’re up early.” Dani plopped her curvy behind down in the corner of the couch, holding her mug with both hands and taking a long swig.
I sighed. “Well, I got up to get my coffee, and I ran into your sleepover buddy.” Tilting my head to the side, I noticed a deep maroon mark on her collarbone. “Nice hickey.”
Pulling her knees up to her chest, shame covered her make-up smeared, tan face as she blinked hard. “Yeah, sorry about that. It just kinda happened.”
I’m being a bitch. I didn’t mean to embarrass her.
I closed my laptop and placed it on top of the white vintage coffee table I’d bought while visiting a small shop in France the previous year. I turned my entire body to face Dani. “Listen, I’m not judging you, but I am going to ask that you please don’t bring some random guy here again. For both our protection. That jackwad made a pass at me. I was ready to run for my mace.” I furrowed my tired eyes and touched her knee where I noticed another purple mark. I had to fight the urge to point the bruise out. “I’m really not judging you. I’ve had a one nighter myself, but it just isn’t safe.”
She closed her eyes and lowered her head. “I know. I’m sorry.” She looked up, scrunching the corner of her mouth. “I went to dinner with Leah last night, then right after, your brother came and swept her up because God forbid he let her out in public without his watchful eye for more than five seconds.” She exhaled loudly.
I jerked my head back, widening my eyes. “That’s kinda harsh.” Maybe I wasn’t the only grouchy one this morning.
Shaking her head, she huffed. “I know. I don’t mean that, but it made me so jealous. My little sister married the perfect guy. I wish I had someone who didn’t want to let me out of their sight.” She took another long sip of her coffee before placing it on the end table beside her.
“Yeah, now you’re really pushing it. My brother is no saint.” I leaned my elbow against the soft material on the back of the couch, resting my head in my hand taking in my friend’s beautiful Hispanic features.
She clicked her tongue, letting out a wistful sigh. “I know Stefen isn’t perfect, but he loves my sister and can’t stand to be without her. I want a guy like that.” Wiggling further into the couch, she continued, “Anyway, when they left, I stayed and had a drink, got to talking with the bartender and—” Her eyes naturally narrowed as her lips pouted. “It just happened. It wasn’t planned. But it won’t happen again. I’m over guys like that.” She reached for her coffee, took a drink, then put it back down. “I just have to remember how they treat me once all is said and done.”
