by Kimi Flores
Tanner took a final swig of his water, pointing to Brad who was sitting next to him, then Paul sitting with Alison, and finally Josh. “Taught these guys everything they know.”
Cocking his eyebrow, Paul kissed Alison’s shoulder, running his hand down her arm. “Actually, we all learned together, you just took it to a professional level.”
Tanner lifted his chin. “Where did you learn to ride, Bri?”
“I don’t mind taking credit for that.” Paul lifted his finger. “That’s how we met.”
Jerking his head to the side, Josh asked, “Really, that’s how you met?”
The chair lifted a little when I shifted to the side to get a better look at him. “Yep. I was dating this real winner who rode all the time. Apparently he got tired of me bugging him to take me along because, after all, I’m a girl and shouldn’t like that kind of thing.”
Josh frowned. “Says who?”
“My mother, his mother, him, all his friends—need I go on?” Oh, I may have shared too much there.
Breathing out, I tucked my legs under my bathing suit cover-up. “Anyway, so he had his buddy drive us to a popular spot in the middle of the woods. Once the bikes were ready to go, his friend left. Chad turned around, told me since I’d been so eager to ride, I could figure out how to get home, and then he took off.”
I’m sure my mother had a hand in that. She always hated that I was a tomboy at heart.
Brad and Tanner shook their heads in disgust.
“What an asshole,” Josh said, a muscle jumping in his jaw.
“Luckily, my knight in sweaty gear came to my rescue, riding up on a muddy bike.” I smiled at Paul. “I recognized him from school. He was there with some friends, showed me what I needed to do, then I took off after that asshole. He was a little shocked when I drove up, and he had the nerve to get mad when I dropped his bike down in front of him.”
“Ouch,” Tanner blurted out, then amended, “Sorry, I know you had a good reason, but the thought of a bike hitting the ground hurts no matter what.”
Brad got up, strolling over to the cooler.
With the same look of disgust, Paul said, “I never liked that guy. He thought the rules didn’t apply to him or his friends. I still don’t get why you kept dating him after that.”
Alison swatted his leg.
Embarrassed, I snuck a peek at Josh whose jaw was still tight. “Our families were friends,” I admitted, “but I eventually broke up with him.” Well, after Stefen found out what happened and beat the crap out of him.
Alison eyed me, well aware of the whole story. She attempted to save me from further humiliation. “So, does everyone have their transportation booked for Catalina?” She looked at Paul and shrieked, “I still can’t believe we’re getting married next week.”
Brad pointed to Tanner as he walked back from the cooler with another bottle of water. “We’re driving down to San Pedro and catching a helicopter from there.”
“I’m probably going to do the same. I get seasick so there’s no way I’m taking a boat,” I admitted.
“You’re coming up early with us, right Bri?” Alison folded her legs on the chair, while Paul held onto her.
“When are you getting there again?” I asked. “I only reserved my room from Friday to Sunday.”
“Early evening on Wednesday. I’m sure the resort has plenty of rooms.”
Josh hadn’t said anything for a little while, and I was afraid to look at him.
He’s probably wondering why I let guys take advantage of me after that last story.
He spoke with the slightest shake to his voice. “Why don’t you go with me? I’m planning on chartering a plane from the airport in Santa Barbara, so we don’t have to take that long drive to the harbor before flying over.”
Mulling it over for a second, I loved that he’d asked me in front of everyone. “Okay, but will you let me pay for half?”
He motioned for me to scoot back as he slowly stood up. “We can talk about that later, but for now I’ve gotta get these guys to work.” I moved further back as he stepped away from the chair. The hem of his shirt lifted when he stretched his arms up, giving me a good look of his taut stomach.
Yummy.
“Come on guys, let’s see who the real men are.” He motioned for them to head out to where the fence was being installed. Grumbling, each guy got up and followed.
Josh started to walk away but stopped. Turning, he strolled back up to me and bent forward. His cheek made contact with mine as he whispered in my ear, “By the way, girls who ride are hot as hell. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
He kissed my cheek, then smiled as he ran to catch up with the guys.
Smirking, Alison asked quietly, “What was that about?”
“I don’t know,” I said weakly. “But if he doesn’t watch it, I’m gonna fall for him all over again.”
Chapter Nine
Who Really Holds the Power?
Bri
Sitting on the small stool, in front of the rustic vanity, I let out a sigh. The bridal chambers at the vineyard were supposed to have the most amazing light. So where the hell is it? Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I fussed with my hair, making sure everything was in place. I was well aware of the fact that I’d been doing that the last ten minutes while Leah was on the phone.
She leaned back on the Victorian couch next to me, attempting to calm the bride down who was supposed to be meeting us today. “I’m so sorry Chase called it off. We’ll talk later about details. It’s not something we need to handle right now.” Leah used a soothing tone. “Okay. We’ll talk next week then. Bye.”
Huffing out a breath of air, she turned to me. “Man, I’m glad she’s not going to marry that bendejo. He flirted with every female around when we first met. When he gave me his card, the jerk made sure I knew I could call him anytime, and it didn’t have to be about the flowers. He’s obviously used to getting whatever he wants. Damn pretty boys.”
I rolled my eyes. It was the same old story. “What is it with these jackasses, and why are women so drawn to them?”
“I don’t know,” she muttered. “Maybe it’s the thrill of taming the bad boy, but I wouldn’t know anything about that,” she said with mock innocence.
“Yeah, sure you don’t,” I scoffed. “My brother was a perfect angel when you met.” We laughed at my smartass comment.
She tossed her cell into her purse on the couch. “Anyway, we obviously aren’t meeting her today, so we have a little extra time. I still have to go talk to Zachary and work out the details, cancel the wedding in his books. I’m glad to help him out, but I really hope he finds a new coordinator soon.” Standing, she stretched along the way.
I should talk to him about that. I’d been thinking about offering my help until he found someone.
“Do you mind if I get a head start and go to Josh’s?” I tried to feign a neutral look, but when I mentioned his name, my tummy fluttered and a grin broke free.
Curiosity covered her face as she brought her chin to her chest. “What’s that look about?”
“What look?” I really tried to hide my excitement, but felt my grin.
Cocking her head, Leah asked, “Hmm, would that little smile have anything to do with a very handsome ranch owner?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I shrugged as I looked down to inspect my newly painted toes.
“Aww Bri.” Leah leaned over and bumped my shoulder with hers. “That is so awesome. Josh is a great guy. I really hope it works out for you.”
The stool I was sitting on swiveled when I jerked my head to the side. “Wait, I never said there was an ‘us’.”
She smiled. “You didn’t have to. You light up when you mention his name, it’s obvious.”
I slapped the tops of my thighs, resigning to the truth. “Okay, fine. I might have a thing for him.” But even though I just blurted that out, I didn’t want to talk about it anymore and suddenly became very interest
ed in the small birthmark on my knee.
Kinda looks like a little snowflake.
“Does he know?”
I shrugged, ever so slightly. “Not sure. I’m trying to play it cool. We’ve moved on from the past, but it’s still—there, y’know?”
“Yes. I know all about moving past previous mistakes. Do what’s best for you, and I’ll try to tame your brother when he sees you two together today.” She snickered.
“Oh crap, I didn’t even think about that. Stefen’s known some of the guys I’ve dated and traveled with, but he’s never been around them before.” I started to panic. “Wait. Why am I getting nervous? I’m a grown woman. I can go out with whoever I want. I don’t need his approval. Plus, Josh and I aren’t even dating.”
“Sweetie, it’s okay,” she said gently. “I was just joking. Wow, this really makes you nervous. Stefen only wants you to be happy. He just has a hard time letting you go, that’s all. You’re his baby sister.” She gave me a warm glance.
“I know,” I sighed. “It’s frustrating sometimes though. I’m trying so hard to be my own woman, but I’m still so used to him being there to pick up the pieces and take care of everything.”
“I get it Bri, but just know that you are not alone.” The soft lines on her face told me that she was speaking in all sincerity and not just blowing smoke up my ass.
Slowly nodding, I closed my eyes for a moment. “I do know that. Thank you.”
“Okay, now get outta here and go gawk at that man before we get there.” She wiggled her eyebrows as the devious smile appeared on her lips.
I giggled. “Alright. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” Picking up my purse, I smoothed my hands down the back of my shorts before heading to my car. After starting the engine, I took a deep breath and texted Josh, letting him know I was coming early.
I can’t wait to spend a few minutes with him before everyone else gets there.
He texted right back, which spiked my pulse. Holy butterflies!
Josh: Can’t wait to see you.
I’d already entertained the idea of dating him. The past was gone, and he really did seem different. He was different. Now I wondered if he was on the same page. With any other guy, I would’ve just flirted until he asked me out, but Josh was my first crush. The guy I’d obsessed over for years. I wanted to do things differently this time.
This time, he would make the first move, if he was interested.
When I arrived at the now familiar entrance, I wasn’t surprised to see the gates wide open since several people would be showing up today. As I headed in, a restricted number rang on my cell. Without thinking, I answered, speaking into the microphone installed in my car.
“Hello?” I answered in a sing-song voice.
“I knew it,” came a bitter familiar voice. “You are purposely avoiding my calls, Brianna. How dare you ignore me. I am your mother, and you are to pick up when I call you.”
Dammit! How could I have been so stupid!
Parking at the furthest spot from the front door, I gripped the steering wheel, squeezing my eyes tight. “I’ve been really busy, Mom. I don’t have time to argue with you over the phone, just because you aren’t getting your way.”
I peeked out my driver’s side window, pulling the phone out of the hands-free cradle.
Please don’t let Josh come out right now.
The fury in my mother’s tone could not be mistaken. “I cannot believe you promised me the money, then had Stefen run to your father about it. I should’ve known you weren’t mature enough to make choices on your own, always running to big brother to tell you what to do.”
As she continued to eject her poison, I felt tiny pricks of tension zinging up and down my back.
“Unlike you, I’m not spineless. I can make my own choices, and I knew what I was doing when I asked you for that money. I didn’t need you to go tattle on me. I should’ve known I couldn’t count on you for anything.” It was then that I picked up on her slurring.
Dammit. She’s been drinking. She wouldn’t hold back now. Although I was over two thousand miles away, I visualized her alcohol induced, hooded stare down. I could practically feel her hot, venomous breath on my face as she spewed demeaning words at her one and only daughter. To this day, I couldn’t stomach the smell of vodka, my mother’s drink of choice.
At least this time, I wouldn’t have to help her into bed after she’d slapped me or pulled my hair while shaking my head. Subconsciously, my fingertips grazed across the small scars on my scalp and the tiny ones barely visible on the underside of my arm where her nails had dug into my skin time and time again. It wasn’t until I went off to college that part of the abuse stopped.
These were the altercations I’d fought so hard to keep everyone else from knowing about. The ones my mother saved for when no one else was around to hear them.
Even now, I knew she could just hang up, but there was still a scared little girl somewhere deep inside that feared the retaliation would be even greater than her horrific words.
She delivered one blow after another. “You’ve always been worthless and the biggest thorn in my ass, Brianna. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up, wishing you’d disappeared the night before.”
My chest tightened as anguish erupted inside. Normally, I could take it, whatever my mother threw at me. But this—this was— “Why do you hate me?” I had to fight the urge to start my car and run away, like I’d done my entire adult life.
There was a moment of silence. Something in her tone was off. Was she—crying? “You ruined my life. You were supposed to be my one shot at happiness, then you were born and shortly after, I just knew.” Her gravelly words continued. “You became my nightmare, sent to mock me for the rest of my life. A horrible reminder of what I lost and would never have again. I made a huge mistake when I married your father and agreed to have your brother, but you—you are my biggest regret. Had I known the truth, I would’ve had an abortion. I can’t tell you how many times I fantasized about drowning you when you were in the bathtub. I could’ve been rid of you for good.”
My lips began to tremble. “What?” I could barely utter. “What are you talking about? You aren’t making any sense.” My mother had wanted to kill me?
The anger in her gruff words was unmistakable. “You’ve pushed me to my breaking point, Brianna.”
I clenched my fist. Is this really happening? Was I really sitting in Josh’s driveway, listening to my mother cut me in to tiny pieces?
And she kept going. “Your father promised me a better life, but dammit I should’ve known better.”
I pulled the phone away momentarily. My heart was breaking, reeling with shock and anger.
“The first time I ever felt hope was when I found out I was pregnant with you. I actually thought happiness was around the corner for me, then you were born.” Her snide chuckle as she sniffed made my skin crawl. “The minute I looked at you, I knew you were nothing. You were going to be a constant reminder, making sure I knew that no matter how close I came, I could never have the one thing I wanted.”
Does she really think she’s the victim here?
Looking down at my hand, I realized I’d been digging my nails into my palm. Small droplets of blood appeared on my skin when I opened my stiff fingers, reminding me of the marks my mother used to leave on me.
“Just know that no matter what you do, I cannot make myself care about you. And don’t ever expect me to say ‘I love you’ because I don’t and never will. Do us all a favor. Don’t have kids. You could never bring anything good into this world.”
My heart dropped as a switch went off in my head. The words came out of my mouth without a second thought. “I hate you, Mother. I hope you burn in hell.”
“Yeah well, the feeling is mutual,” she retorted coldly as she sniffed again.
Then the line went dead, and I sat frozen in my car. The phone fell to the floor, and I attempted to comfort myself by wrapping my arms around my shaking body as uncon
trollable sobs wracked through me.
I always had a feeling my mother never loved me, but hearing the words come from her mouth was beyond anything I could handle.
⁂
Josh
I thought I heard Bri pull in.
I didn’t want to seem too eager, but I was excited to see her. I’d been pacing the damn kitchen since she texted. I was still afraid of moving too fast, too soon. All I knew was that I wanted her more than anything I’d ever wanted before.
I wonder what’s taking her so long.
Stepping onto the porch, I heard a car racing up the driveway. I casually stretched my arms above my head, nonchalantly looking to my left and saw her car parked next to mine.
That’s weird.
I took a closer look and saw Bri sitting in the driver’s seat, slumped over as her shoulders shook.
Shit, what happened?
I barely registered that I wasn’t wearing shoes as I tore across the driveway. A Porsche Cayenne came to a screeching halt behind her car and I watched Stefen jump out of his SUV and rush to her door.
“Fuck.” he growled under his breath.
I’d never seen a man look so unnerved, and I couldn’t do anything but stand frozen in my spot as I watched him yank Bri’s door open, reach in, and pull her out. Her body shuddered violently as her cries rang out, causing my heart and mind to race.
My eyes shot over to Leah, who also stood motionless next to their SUV. Tears ran down her face as she watched her husband comfort Bri.
What the hell is happening?
Completely enveloping her in his arms, Stefen attempted to soothe her. “You’re safe, I’ve got you. Dad just called. He overheard the end of the conversation.”
Her sobs continued to bellow through the air, and something inside of me snapped. I didn’t know what the hell was going on but never wanted to see her like this again. A deep pain stabbed at my heart as I helplessly watched, trying to figure out how I could take it all away.
I couldn’t stay in place. I had to do something. Leah glanced at me and nodded, giving me a knowing look, silently appearing to be on board with whatever thought was going through my head.
