by R. M. Healy
“You have feelings for her, don’t you?” Sebastian said, sitting across from him on the private jet which belonged to him.
Anton and Sebastian’s relationship had been one of strong dislike until recently. The men had grown closer since Anton’s accident.
“I do, powerful feelings,” Anton replied honestly.
Sebastian nodded, watching Anton.
“Without wanting to offend you, I prefer this new you. You’ve really grown up, I thought it would take years for you to change, to mature,” Sebastian observed.
“What? When I’m in my thirties like you, old man?” Anton joked. Sebastian’s reputation was much like Anton’s own in his younger years, and he hadn’t changed until he met his wife, Clover.
“Ah yes, it took a while, but it was all worth it. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything.”
Sebastian smiled as he drank his whiskey.
“Good for you,” Anton said. He had to admit to himself, he was envious of Sebastian’s relationship and family, he had a wife who loved him, a young son and now another baby on the way.
“What about you? What do you want? Esther is an intelligent, kind, and a strong woman, it would be selfish to mess her around.”
Sebastian’s words angered Anton even further. He had no plans to mess her around, his ideas were, in fact, the exact opposite of messing her around. If anything, Essie would be the one to hurt his feelings.
“I want to help my parent’s move back to Italy. I want to stay at the farmhouse, to keep The Romano business going, to help it grow. To share it all with someone.”
This was the first time he’d said all those things aloud. Anton had chosen to omit the fact that the person he wanted to build that future with was Essie.
“What you’re doing for your parents is very selfless, that is why you don’t need to pay me for my services. We are family, and I can see how much effort and time you are putting into this for them. I have enough money. As for the rest, if you truly want it, you will have it. Just don’t wait too long to tell her.”
Sebastian didn’t need to hear Anton say who he wanted that future with, it was already evident.
“I just hope I haven’t messed up already. I should have been there for Essie when he died. It’s already been a day, and my mom said he funeral is the day after tomorrow.”
“Two days?” Sebastian said, surprised.
“Yes, that’s why we must be back as soon as possible. Mom said she and my father are helping the family out, they said Esther seems to be in a state of shock.”
“Understandably. I’ll make sure the whole family attends to show our condolences and support for her mother and sister. We can’t take away their loss or grief, but we can make it as easy as possible for them.”
Anton liked that. He wanted Essie to know she didn’t have to be the one taking care of everything, she had people who were willing to look after her too, she wasn’t alone.
He’d made a promise to her father, and he intended to keep it.
When they finally did land hours later, and into Sebastian’s car, Anton was becoming impatient, he wanted to see Essie now. To embrace her and comfort her.
He asked Sebastian to take him to Essie’s childhood home instead of his parents. He could get a taxi home, he didn’t want to waste time going home and getting a car.
Outside of Essie’s house, Anton was surprised to see a smart car parked on the drive behind the vehicle he knew belonged to Jae. Perhaps it was some other family member he’d yet to meet.
“You want me to come in with you?” Sebastian asked, turning the engine off.
“No thanks, I know you’re desperate to see your wife and son,” Anton said as he picked up his laptop bag and small travel bag. He had left some of his things in Italy for when he returned.
“That’s true. I’ll see you at the funeral, I’ll be available if you need me.”
Anton got out of the car and walked to the house and took a deep breath before he knocked on the front door. Essie hadn’t answered her phone, so she didn’t know he was coming. He hoped he was doing the right thing.
Within seconds of him knocking the door, Jae opened it, his face angry as he looked Anton up and down.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Jae questioned quietly through gritted teeth as he stepped out of the door, closing it behind him. Anton had no idea what the guy's problem was. When they first met, Jae was friendly and had a lot of respect for Anton’s career and knowledge of the industry.
Now, it was if he couldn’t even tolerate Anton being in the same room.
“I am here to see, Essie,” Anton replied firmly, annoyed at Jae questioning him when he had no right.
“You think it’s appropriate to show up here two after her dads just died? You lead her on like some idiot and then feel guilty? Is that it?”
Jae was toe to toe with Anton, their eyes the same level. A confrontation was the last thing Anton wanted, and he knew Jae was grieving.
“I have no idea what you are talking about, and it’s clear that you haven’t either. I’m not sure where your aggression is coming from, but I am not here for a fight. As I said, I am here to see Essie.”
Although Anton had stepped away and kept a calm demeanor, Jae didn’t calm down and laughed angrily as he looked Anton straight in the eye.
“You know they photographed you right? It seems the reputation you’ve earned as a sleaze is well deserved, I just think anyone would sink low enough to do it to a girl whose father was dying!” Jae poked Anton in the center of his chest as he spoke, and Anton clenched his fist angrily.
“Who photographed what? And that reputation was the past. I love Essie! Tell me what the hell you’re getting at!” Anton tried to keep his voice down, not wanting the rest of her family to hear the dispute.
“Go and buy a magazine, your picture is on the front of them all anyway. As for saying you love Esther, forget it. It’s never going to happen, you’re too late, I called Michael, someone who really cares about her.”
Before Anton had time to say anything else, Jae turned around and walked back in the house, locking the door behind him.
The smart car was Michael’s. Esther’s ex-husband.
It was time for Anton to leave. As he walked around the corner, he called a taxi, he could have asked Sebastian to come back, but he didn’t want the questions. He thought Esther might have felt the same way as he did. But she went back to her ex-husband in her time of need and ignored every message and call from Anton.
When he got home, he was relieved his parents were out and went up to his bedroom. When he typed his name in google, he saw what Jae was talking about.
ANTON ROMANO SPOTTED IN ITALY WITH UNKNOWN BEAUTY
The unknown beauty was his cousin who he hadn’t seen since childhood. The picture they’d used was of him and her laughing as they sat across from each other at the table. What it didn’t show was the photo of their mothers she’d just shown him, and Sebastian was noticeably absent from the picture.
They’d used the only moment Sebastian had left the table to take the photo and not even bothered to research who the woman was.
It angered him so much that they’d blatantly lie. It wasn’t any surprise since they’d done it so many times in the past, the difference now was that he had someone he cared about.
He knew how Esther must have felt reading it because he’d felt the same way when he heard she was with Michael. Heartbroken.
Esther was glad to get out of the house and back into her car. As she reversed off the drive, she looked at Michaels smart car and wanted to smash the windows.
How dare he show up at her home unannounced as he had done. And how dare Jae and her mother invite him without telling her. Esther had enough to deal with already, without her ex-husband being present with his ridiculous claims of love and questions of a reconciliation.
Just thinking of the two of them back together was enough to make Esther think about why it was such a terrible idea.
Besides the fact she held no sexual attraction to Micheal, she couldn’t imagine being with anyone but Anton.
Esther thought it a completely selfish thing to do so soon after her father's death, Micheal should have respected her and her family. Not jumped at the invite and used it to try and get back together.
Jae walked out of the front door, attempting to get her attention before she drove away. She ignored him.
Why he thought it was appropriate to interfere with her personal life, she had no idea. If Esther stayed there any longer, she would have said something she’d regret, so she decided to go home for the night.
Since her father had died, she’d barely had a moment to herself, and she couldn’t wait to be in her apartment alone. She also needed to check her phone, which she had left at her apartment last night before rushing to her mothers.
Already, she had stopped thinking of it as her parent’s home and just as her mother’s so soon after her father’s death. Alone in her childhood bedroom at night, she had cried, her emotions getting the better of her.
In two days they would lay him to rest, and it couldn’t come soon enough for Esther. She wanted real time to grieve with her mother and sister. The help people had given them was so kind, and she was extremely grateful, but it felt like the only time she’d had alone was at night when she went to bed.
Rosa had taken a lot of the burden of the funeral arrangements from Esther and sorted almost everything out for her, something she massively appreciated. Yesterday, Rosa came to Esther’s house with dinner for the whole family and her laptop. It was when she and Esther were sitting in the kitchen talking about the funeral that the post came, along with her mother’s subscription magazines. Two of the Three had Anton and a beautiful dark-skinned brunette on the cover.
Esther felt sick when she saw the photo.
“Oh, Giorgia, Anthony’s beautiful niece! How could they make up such lies, it is disgusting, they are related! Che Cavolo!” Rosa growled. Esther rarely heard the woman say anything in Italian unless she was angry.
But Esther was relieved, the young woman in the photo was related to him, she wasn’t someone Anton was dating as the magazines stated.
According to Rosa, he was back today and wanted to see Esther. She wanted to see him too. But she hadn’t had her phone since last night to call or text him. And when she finally did get home, she saw several missed calls and texts from him. For a short while, she kept going to press call then changing her mind.
She walked around her living room, the empty modern space now felt cold and unwelcoming. Eventually, after she sat on the sofa with a glass of wine, she decided to call Anton. She didn’t want to be alone in her bed crying for another night, she wanted someone beside her, to cuddle her and make her feel protected.
Ridiculous as it may seem, she just wanted to feel loved.
But Anton didn’t answer her first call, or her second or even the two texts she left him. And when it was past midnight as she was desperate for sleep, she lay staring at her roof, alone and grieving and unable to have the rest she so desperately needed.
Chapter Eighteen
It was the first day of the year that the sky was clear, and the sun was out. Anton let out a deep breath as he looked himself up and down in the mirror. He’d decided to take off the ridiculous bandage from his face and felt strangely liberated by the act.
The skin was scarred, red and white flesh puckered from his cheek down to his neck, yet it was still a part of him, it was his face, and he accepted it. There was a hard knock on his open door, and Anton turned to see his father standing awkwardly.
“You took it off,” his father commented, looking at where the bandage had been. Anton nodded in response.
“I’m proud of you, Anton. You’ve really shown strength and became a different man these last few months, I respect you for how you’ve handled what happened to you and how you’ve grown from it.”
Anton’s father had always been the best male role model any son could have wanted. Anton wished he had realized that sooner and not take it for granted all these years.
Attending Essie’s father funeral really brought home how important family was and how things could change so quickly.
“You mean I’m not a selfish little prick anymore? Right?” Anton joked, smiling at his father who he looked like so much.
His father laughed loudly as he looked at his son, “Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. We’d better leave soon anyway the funeral is in one hour. Your mother and I want to stay for a while after to visit your sisters grave. Sebastian and Luca have both said they will take you home.”
“It’s that graveyard?” Anton asked. He hadn’t visited his sisters grave since she died.
“Yes. I’ll see you downstairs.”
Anton stared at the back of his father’s grey head, wanting to say he’d visit her grave, but the words never came out. By the time he was downstairs, and his mother was talking about the weather, it didn’t seem appropriate to bring it up again.
“Dad, I’m going to take my own car.”
Anton’s parents both looked taken aback for a moment, and he didn’t miss the look that passed between them.
“Drive safe!” His mother warned him, her brows raised as she walked to his dad’s car.
Waiting for them to drive away, he waved goodbye and checked his phone. There was still no response from Essie, and Anton was annoyed he’d missed her calls last night when he’d fallen asleep.
He didn’t want to call her back this morning, he knew how busy she would be with the funeral arrangements. He had, however, left her a text, asking if she needed anything from him and letting her know he was available.
It was ridiculous how jealous he’d felt about her ex-husband yesterday, she was grieving, and Michael was familiar to her. Anton wasn’t even in the country, and as far as Essie knew, he was enjoying dates with women in Italy while she mourned her father. Stupid really, since Anton hadn’t enjoyed Italy at all. His thoughts had been consumed with that night before he left, the night he and Essie had shared together.
Regardless of whether she came to this funeral with her ex-husband, he was going to talk to her, and he was going to let her know how he felt. It would be up to her if she went back to her ex-husband or gave Anton a chance.
When he drove along the street to the church, he shook his head as he saw the several flashy cars parked in the spaces, his family were already here it seemed.
Essie and her family thankfully hadn’t arrived yet, and Anton had time to go and speak to his family who stood outside of the church doors. This church held many bad memories for the Romano family. Sebastian’s father’s funeral had been held here many years ago. Not long after, they buried Anton’s sister Isabelle. And just over a year ago, they were here again for Pamela’s funeral, Luca’s mother.
But seeing his family all standing strong together was a reminder of the love they shared. The unbreakable bond of family.
They greeted Anton, embracing him, and asking how things in Italy were going. He could see them trying not to at his burn mark, he didn’t blame them, and it didn’t bother him like he thought it would.
“How was Italy? I saw the photo of you and Giorgia, what a load of shit,” Luca commented, shaking his head. “I bet her Erik is fuking fuming.”
Anton could see his mother’s stern look at Luca, unapproving of his language, but Luca didn’t seem to care.
“You know how crazy he is, hasn’t Erik just had to go to court for killing a guy?” Luca said to Sebastian.
“Luca, you know better than to gossip about people, Erik has had a challenging life. I can see Esther's family in the car, let’s go and stand with everyone else,” Rosa told them, walking ahead with her husband to the small handful of people who waited by where the hearse was about to pull up. When it drew closer, the only thing that could be heard was the engine of the vehicles and a few small birds chirping in the trees.
As it came to a stop, so did the famil
y car behind it, and Anton felt his pulse speed up knowing he was going to see Esther.
Would Michael be with her?
Out of the car, first came her mother, her eyes bloodshot and skin pale. Then came Jessica, holding her mother's hand as she got out. It was clear Jessica was the one comforting her mother, not the other way around.
Essie looked as beautiful as ever, despite the dark skin under her eyes and her hollow cheeks, exposing the further weight loss. Her hair was pulled by tightly into a bun, and her black skirt and suit jacket looked loose on her frame, Anton wanted to go over and put his arms around her and tell her everything was going to be ok.
He knew it was best to wait.
Michael was nowhere to be seen, and Anton was glad. Perhaps she wasn’t going to get back with him and yesterday was a moment of weakness. That feeling only lasted moment when Anton saw the second black car pull up. Perhaps he was in there?
Unlike everyone else who was watching the pull bearers move the coffin out of the car, Anton watched Esther who turned to wait for the people in the other vehicle.
Her aunt and uncle got out, followed by their two sons and another person Anton recognized.
Danielle Summers.
She did not know Essie’s father and Anton doubted that Danielle knew Essie. There was no reason for her to be here, and Anton glared at her. The moment Jae’s hand wrapped around her waist, it became clear just what Jae’s problem with Anton was. Danielle had been spreading her lies and manipulating the man.
However, now was not the time to deal with her or Jae. He was here for Essie, and as she made eye contact with him, he knew it was the time to greet her.
At first, he was going to be polite and say hello, but as he walked toward her, he saw the despair in her hazel eyes and her crestfallen expression. He didn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close to his chest, her body almost weightless against him.
“Can you sit with me please?” She pleaded, her hands pressed against his chest as she locked eyes with him.
“Of course. I won’t leave your side.” He bent down and kissed her on the head, pulling her tightly to him.
