by Jamie Magee
Regaining her composure, Perodine looked over her shoulder at me. I stared back, feeling an overwhelming sympathy - not only for her, but also for Alamos.
“There was a servant woman who’d cared for Perodine since she was a child, a sickness took her daughter from this world. By law, children must be raised by a woman,so the servant’s grandson, Guardian, was sent to live in the wing with Perodine and Alyianna.”
Alamos looked at Drake, then to Landen. “I was there when Guardian and Aliyanna saw each other for the first time. They were barely six years old – yet they stared at each other with a magnitude beyond anything I’d ever seen before.”
I felt Drake’s eyes on me, and Landen tightened his arms around me. Dane leaned in closer.
“I knew...I knew then that she’d never submit to Donalt’s request to be given to Alazar; she was too stubborn to hide the way her mother and I had. I did what I could do to conceal this love for the next twelve years. I had Guardian’s name removed from the book of residence; Perodine and I never allowed them out of this wing. With each day that passed, our heart broke; we knew that our daughter would have to endure what we’d already lived through: she’d have no choice but to be given to the evil man Alazar had grown into.”
As Alamos leaned forward, his eyes found August, then fell back to the scroll.
“Just before Aliyanna’s eighteenth birthday, she decided to explore. She found her way to Donalt’s chambers and heard him with the other priest, speaking over Alazar. She ran terrified to Guardian, then they went to Perodine for help. They called for me, and I told my daughter to submit – that I would find a way for her to still see Guardian...I’m sure that was the moment she decided to hate me.” Alamos’ eyes found mine; I could see a pain in him.
“Perodine sent me away. A few days later, rumors surfaced in the palace - and then in the kingdom - that Donalt’s daughter would be joined with a servant boy. The world was elated; they thought it was Donalt’s way of joining the classes again. Celebrations were on every street in every town - and you can only imagine how Donalt took this news: he was enraged that there was happiness in his kingdom.”
Alamos’ eyes moved to Drake, then to Landen, then he cleared his throat.
“Guardian proved to be a brave man. He came to me and asked me for the scroll, the birth charts; he feared that Donalt could use them to bring harm to Aliyanna. I told him where they were, and that night they sought to retrieve them. I stayed in the shadows, prepared to give my life to protect them. Somehow Donalt knew; he knew everything. There were priest waiting for them, and Donalt stood before them and told Aliyanna to give him the necklace her mother had made for her and submit to Alazar - or she would take Guardian’s life with her own hand. Like her mother, Aliyanna didn’t respond well to threats; she took the scrolls and Guardian’s hand and turned to leave. The priest then forced their energy to her. I was on the other side of the room, and I sent mine to them. When our energy collided, a passage opened, and the force pulled both Guardian and Aliyanna in – never to be seen again.”
Silence filled the room; we were all taking in the wealth of information that Alamos had given us. I’d tried to imagine the person I was in my first life; the conflicts I’d faced, the choices I’d made. It had never occurred to me that sacrifices were made on my behalf – that I was conceived out of love.
“I’m sure it’s not hard for all of you to imagine Perodine’s response to the news of the vanishing of Aliyanna: her grief was mirrored by the world around us. The skies turned gray, and silence came to the voices of the people. I assumed we’d all die a sad, lonely death – to pay for the mistakes we’d made; but death never came. Twenty years later, Perodine, Donalt, and I looked the same. Others in the court died off one by one. I surfaced from my grief and began to study the stars again, looking for the hour of my death; instead, I found every reason to believe that my daughter was still alive, happy, and in a world so beautiful that my imagination couldn’t even take me there. I went to Perodine, overjoyed with what I’d found.”
Perodine had turned and was staring at Alamos; her expression was calm, but her emotion was a deep grief.
“She already knew. I’d taught her the stars so well, she’d discovered Aliyanna’s fate long ago. She also knew that we wouldn’t die until our seed had filled its purpose, that we’d have to wait the course of time for the universe to move back to the same as it was the first time Aliyanna took a breath. Perodine has never forgiven me for asking Aliyanna to submit; she believes that if we’d stood up to Donalt back then, this world wouldn’t have had to wait for time to move forward.”
Alamo’s eyes moved to the shadows. “I think I was almost two hundred before Donalt confronted me about the love I had for Perodine, the child we had together. He took mercy on me. He thought that by me not allowing Aliyanna to disappear with Guardian when they were children that I’d proclaimed my soul to him. I became his most trusted and admired priest and stood at his side as the chapters of time moved forward.”
Beth walked around the table and stood before Alamos with tears in her eyes. She then slapped him as hard as she could across the face, and Drake and Marc dove across the room to stop her from hitting him again, Drake grabbing her arms and Marc her waist.
“You bastard!” she screamed. “ You and your stars...you knew...you knew all along that it was not my son...that it was not Livingston and my price to pay...not our boys...you have ruined him,” Beth said in broken voice.
Drake moved his arms around her and held her as tight as he could. Marc looked down at the ground before returning to Landen’s side. With grief consuming the room, I stood frozen, unsure of what to do.
The presences I’d felt before in the darkness came again – and I wasn’t the only one who felt it. Marc and Dane stood at attention, and Landen shielded his energy around us. Drake slowly let go of Beth and pushed her in Marc’s direction, and she ran to his open arms. The ceiling above us turned black and began to circle. Suddenly, it moved in Alamos’ direction, and Drake threw a shield that looked like clear water in front of him; as the darkness collided with it, the sound was as loud as thunder. The entire room vibrated from the force of energy - and then the darkness...vanished.
Chapter Eight
We all stood still, waiting for it to come again; but it was gone - at least for now. Landen didn’t release me, but he let his shield fall, saving his energy. Alamos reached for his face to cover the red marks of Beth’s fingers. He then stood slowly, looking at Perodine, then to Beth.
“I did know; I knew that fate had dealt him a cruel card, that he’d have to fight for every chance, through every life, just to hold her for a moment, and that he’d be seen – just as I was – as the bad soulmate,” Alamos said in a tone that reflected resentment toward Perodine.
Perodine walked around the table and stood in front of us all; I could feel anger coursing through her. She stared at Alamos, and he stood up straight and stared back.
“Stop now – you have said enough,” Perodine said through her teeth.
“I don’t think he has,” Drake said, moving to Alamos’ side. “I heard the word ‘soulmate’...I heard ‘every life’...is that not what I’ve been saying all along?” he asked, looking at me.
Beth hid her head in Marc’s shoulder and began to cry. Dane moved his head from side to side and smiled an impish grin. “It seems your hearing omitted a few words – like ‘bad,’ ‘fight,’ ‘moment,’” he said.
Drake’s eyes peered through Dane. He then sighed and looked at Alamos.
August raised his hands. “There’s no such thing as a bad soulmate,” he argued.
“According to Perodine, there is,” mocked Alamos. He then stepped closer to August and said, “You see, she has this theory: every soul has two souls that belong to it. One is perfect in every way; the two share a love that is flawless, sustaining. The other...well...the other is love as well, but this love changes with time and circumstance; she feels its only purpose is to
make us feel alive until we find the perfect love.”
“That’s foolishness,” August argued. “That goes against everything Chara believes in. There is a soulmate for everyone. To even think that there are souls that have no purpose – that’s insane.”
“My friend, you have misunderstood me,” Alamos said, smiling slightly. “She has no doubt that we are meant for someone. In her mind, we all have the role of both; we complete one and entice the other.”
Perodine stepped closer to Alamos. “You mock me,” she said, glaring at him, “but my theory was proven right as we watched Aliyainna’s lives. She only loved two souls – and each of them loved another.”
Alamos looked at Perodine. “You only see what you want to see. Reading it and living are two different things; only they know how they felt.”
“I said that was enough,” Perodine said to him.
As he looked at Perodine, Alamos shook his head from side to side. “I will admit my deeds, just as you will admit yours,” he said, moving away from her. He walked to me, and his eyes looked carefully into mine. “Your mother seems to believe that passion, desire, and infatuation are not included in the job description of soulmates.” He looked over his shoulder at Perodine. “It seems that those are the elements of lust, and lust can only belong to a bad soulmate. The soul that makes us feel alive, human, evoking every emotion – including anger – is just not enough. I was not enough for her. She believed that because I was born just moments outside of a chart that would have linked us together for eternity that we weren’t meant to be. She let the study of the stars – a perfect math that can never be fully understood by the human mind – dictate who I would be in her life.”
Alamos looked over his shoulder at Drake, his eyes searching him over carefully before returning to mine. “I find that...unfair. Are we not human? Do we not have only the emotions we feel to go by?” He looked at Beth, who was still crying in Marc’s arms. “I had no way of knowing which boy would be born here – the ‘good’ soulmate or the ‘bad’ soulmate. Drake’s fate came down to moments, just as mine had. I did find it ironic that the child that needed my counsel the most was born in my care,” Alamos said, staring at Beth.
She looked up from Marc and wiped her face dry. Anger was coursing through her, and Marc must have sensed it; he held her arms against him. “You’re trying to live your life through him – to find a selfish victory – and you don’t care who you hurt in the processes,” Beth said.
Alamos looked away from her accusing eyes, walked to the table, and opened one of the books he’d brought.
“I am not selfish. I traced his life. I knew that he’d paid the price enough times – that he deserved to finally get the girl. That passion would move this universe for the first time,” he said, turning the pages in his book.
Perodine walked to the table and slammed her hands down. Alamos casually looked up, unshaken by her display of anger. “Passion is for the body,” Perodine said, leaning dominantly toward Alamos. “It dies when the body does. Love, the love of a soulmate, is carried to the place between; it is felt from the first breath.”
“If it can be dismissed so easily by you – why are you afraid of it?” Alamos asked.
“I have no fear of it,” Perodine said, glaring at him.
He broke his stare with her and looked at me, then to Drake, who was completely captivated by what he was hearing.
“Then why did you take the privilege of allowing her to choose away from her?” Alamos asked.
I stood up straight; he was starting to make me angry. “I choose – I have chosen – twice,” I said, looking at him.
He closed the book he was looking though and walked over to me. Drake stepped closer; everyone grew tense.
“You chose with a blind eye,” Alamos said, taking in a deep breath. “You can’t feel me, can you?” I shook my head no. He looked to his side at Drake, then back to me. “Have you ever asked your mother why? Why she spoke the words that would keep you from ever knowing that I love you,” he looked at Drake, “that he loves you?”
I felt my stomach turn. My eyes moved to Perodine, but she refused to look at me. I looked back to Alamos; his dark eyes had softened. He wasn’t looking at me; he was looking at the person I was millions of years ago.
“Why?” I whispered just loud enough for Perodine to hear me.
She looked up, and I could see she was fighting back tears. “I had no choice. Alamos had evoked Drake’s dreams...you would have felt his love and the love of Landen…it would have been too much for you to understand,” she said in a low tone.
I felt my cheeks flush with anger and Landen’s hands on my arm, sending a calm through me.
“He deserved to dream, to see her as Landen did...don’t blame this on me,” Alamos said, turning to look at Perodine.
“What was your plan?” Perodine asked him. “For her to be terrified – and then for some evil angel to come to her and show her the emotion of love?”
“He’s not evil,” Alamos said in a firm tone.
“No, but the demons you taught him to play with are – the ones that found her in her peaceful sleep,” Perodine argued.
“If you hadn’t suppressed his emotions – his energy – he would have been able to release her from the pressure they applied,” Alamos argued back.
Perodine shook her head from side to side, glaring at Alamos. “And I suppose that is your excuse for giving him a seductive touch?” Perdoine said, looking from Alamos to Drake.
Alamos tilted his head and looked at Perodine. “Is that not what ‘bad’ soulmates are known for – our seductive touch? I only enhanced what was natural to him,” he said.
“You are an evil bastard,” Perodine said in a low tone. “If I was your soulmate – as you have proclaimed over the years – you would have never had the stomach to hold another woman; you have proved my point more than once,” she said coldly.
“Soulmate or not, I am human, and I have had a very long life; forgive me if I wanted the illusion of love – even if I knew it would only be for a moment.”
“How cruel can you be? You have plotted and planned to take the soul of our child and put it into the body of a daughter you conceived with another woman...you cannot even see how sick you really are,” Perodine said.
I knew what Perodine was talking about. Landen’s body and my body couldn’t be divided, and Drake’s solution to this was for my soul to merge into Adoina. Adoina and her soulmate, Justus, were close friends of my fathers. Their story was the first story I’d ever heard of Chara and Esterious.
“After all these years, having my two daughters as one seems to be nothing more than a small reward for my pain,” Alamos said, walking back to the table.
I stood up straight and took in a deep breath. Everyone was looking at me, waiting for what I had to say. I looked at Perodine, then to Alamos. “Undo it all; I want to feel everyone. I want Drake to forget every life beyond this one. Take everything you’ve done to us and undo it,” I said in a calm tone. The room remained silent. “Did you hear me?” I said louder, my eyes staring at Alamos. “I will feel and he will forget, and you all will see for the final time that nothing you do will take me from Landen. I have sympathy for the both of you – but neither of you had any right to toy with our lives. I am not you,” I said, looking at Perodine, “and Drake is not you,” I said, looking at Alamos. “You should have just left us all alone. Adoina would be alive, and Drake would have had a blissful childhood.” I looked behind me at Dane, Landen, and Marc, then continued, “He would have found unconditional love long before he ever searched for his soulmate. You have not counseled him; Beth is right: you ruined him – sentencing him to a lonely life, just as you have lived.”
I felt Landen stand behind me and his lips on the back of my head.
“Those words cut into Drake and Alamos,” he thought.
I knew he was telling me their emotion because he thought I was bringing more harm than good to the situation.
/> “I can’t help it; I’m sorry,” I said, looking at Drake. I stepped forward and reached for his hand. His touch was just as seductive as it always has been. He looked up slowly into my eyes, and I saw the pain that Landen had said I inflected. “If you forget, it won’t hurt anymore,” I whispered.
