by S. L. Scott
“I knew you were in good hands.” His lighthearted mood dots the air like particles of dust in the sunshine. It’s great to be a part of his happiness, almost like being back at Growly’s that one time in another lifetime.
Shaking his head, a self-punishing sigh slips out. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there sooner. That night.”
“But you were there. You helped me. Were you hurt?”
“Flesh wound.” He smiles, but then that smile slips again. “I should have known what she was doing. I knew she was using again because Garvey was supplying the habit, but I underestimated her. Garvey was a good distraction and a compliant follower, but she was the mastermind. He was following her orders. He was a fool. She would have killed him too, so he would have died either way.”
“She’d been out of her mind for a while. It was hard to tell if she was high or just a bad person.”
“I checked on her. I set the manor and her room up with sensors. But seeing her wander the house was nothing new, even at that hour. It’s when she went outside that she broke routine. I went to see what was going on and found her chasing you. I should have known sooner though. It was my job after all.”
I never really did get to know the man he portrayed so well for others. I think I got a glimpse of the real Jason beneath the other identities. Trying to relieve his remorse, I ask, “What does that job description look like anyway?”
“Sexy male with soulful eyes and a mouth that works magic looking for . . .” Pausing, he chuckles briefly before turning more serious. “I’m actually not sure what I’m looking for.” I reach for my lipstick and touch up my lips. His eyes watch the mundane action as if it’s truly fascinating, or I am. “By the way, these days, I’m gainfully unemployed.”
My smile reaches my eyes. “You mean you’re not ‘watching over me’ anymore?”
“Nope. I’m here on unofficial business only,” he replies easily.
“Friend business.” I turn around to face him again. “I’m glad.”
“Friends. That’s not something I have many of.”
“So are you going to stay?”
Rubbing his chin, he looks at me out of the corners of his eyes amused. “No. I know when to fold ’em. It’s the holding ’em that I seem to struggle with.”
“Eh, if you stick around one place long enough, I bet you’ll have no problem finding a reason to stay.”
“I worked for Madeline.”
I still to the spot. Even though Alexander already told me everything, I like that Jason’s telling me now. “For how long?”
“A few years.”
“Why?”
“Because she needed me. She needed help, help I could give her.”
“What help was that?”
“Someone who believed in her cause.” Shifting, he stops and looks behind him. I think it’s more from habit to plan his escape route than a lack of interest in what’s right in front of him. “I have a feeling you know all this already.”
“Alexander and Madeline told me a little, but I’m glad you told me.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re friends.”
“Friends.” Laughing, he repeats it as if trying the word on for size. “Yes, that’s right. You remind me of her.”
“Really? How so?”
“Your heart is not your own. It was given away long before I met you. It bleeds for everyone else, even to your detriment. Where did you learn to be so strong?”
Am I strong? I’ve been told that, but now I believe it.
Yes. I am. I am strong.
“I think I always had it in me. I never had a reason to realize it before.”
Nodding, he says, “You did.” He takes a deep breath and exhales. “I’m skipping town tonight.”
“You don’t have to.”
“I know.”
“No way to lure in you into staying?”
“Like you said, if I had a reason . . . I don’t. But if you ever need anything, you find me, okay?”
“How?”
He comes over and squeezes my shoulder lightly. “You know more about me than almost anyone else.”
“Who else knows about you?”
“My mom.”
His response makes me smile. Such a basic and wonderful answer.
Then he adds, “You were wrong about me breaking a bunch of hearts. It was only one heart broken, and that was mine.”
My heart sinks just a little and I wish I could comfort him somehow, but I know I’m not the one who can do that. “I’m sorry.”
His smile returns and I can tell he’s done revealing anymore about himself. “We live and learn.”
We do. Just as life seems to be settling into something more normal, change comes along to shake things up again. “I hope you find peace and a place that makes you want to stay longer than a few months.” My fingers graze over the lacy fabric that hides my wound without thought. It’s become a habit of mine.
Not acknowledging the sentiment of my words, his eyes capture the small motion near my waist. “One day you’ll forget it ever happened. One day you’ll forget I ever happened. You make a beautiful bride. Alexander Kingwood is a very lucky man.” Before I can say anything, my heart starts to beat faster knowing this is the final goodbye I never wanted to happen. “Now close your eyes and count to twenty.”
I don’t. I don’t do either. I stare into his eyes afraid to close mine. “Goodbye for now.”
“Goodbye for now, Alice.” Two fingers touch my forehead, and he slowly drags them down and my eyelids with them. And I start counting . . .
One.
Two.
Three . . .
I don’t make it to twenty before my eyes reopen. I’m pretty sure this is the last time I’ll ever see Jason Koster—Eric, Larry. I smile as I stand with my back to the mirror, facing the open window he disappeared through. The swaying sheer curtains are the only hint he was ever here. Other than in our memories, maybe the only way I know he even existed at all. What a tale I could tell.
My mom walks in. “Found it.” She holds up a string of pearls before stepping behind me and fastening them around my neck. When she comes back around, she lowers the veil over my face and coos, “I’ve never seen a more beautiful bride. I wish you nothing but pure joy and patience.”
I glance at the window once more. I want to feel sad about losing a friend, but I’m not sure Jason will ever settle down into a role he sought on his own anyway. I send him a wish for a happy life, trailing him wherever he goes. Looking in my mom’s eyes, the excitement of the day shines bright. I ask, “Patience?”
“You’ll need it.” Her gaze dashes to the ceiling before returning to mine. “Men are simply incorrigible.”
I don’t tell her that patience is what got me to this day or that Alexander is worth the wait. I don’t bother with the long version when that’s the story for us. The short version is much more spectacular, full of twists and turns, bad guys and good. It’s much more exciting.
I don’t need exciting anymore. I’ve had more than my fair share in this life. I need my husband to kiss me at night like we may not have a tomorrow. I need sunshine with my coffee and a warm smile that hasn’t woken up enough to tip into arrogance. I need strong arms to hold me when I’m weak, and I need the strength to love a man that will love me so hard it hurts to think of life without him. I want simple things like routine, everyone home for dinner, and a house full of laughter. I don’t know if I’ll ever get these things. Needs versus wants, versus what life has in store for us. All to be determined, but with Alexander by my side I will never want nor need anything.
What I do love and appreciate is Madeline Kingwood. What she went through to ensure the safety of her son. What she lost to save his soul and to make sure he got what was his due—I’ll be forever grateful. Not because I need the money. I only have Alexander on this special day because she was brave enough to sacrifice herself in the past to save her son for the present.
Neely and Jas
on have said I’m like her, but her light is almost too blinding. Her strength almost too intense. I love her dearly, but I can’t live in her shadow. I’m content in the sunlight beside her.
We’ve spent many hours with her grieving, crying for the events her death caused, yet thankful in the same breath.
I’m grateful for so much. Somehow, in the midst of my chaos and recovery, I gained a deeper friendship with Shelly, and an open affection and enjoyment with my mother. Life has been put into perspective. It’s precious, and the time we have is never guaranteed.
Madeline dotes on her son, and I sit back and giggle. He acts like he hates being treated like a child, but he’s her child, and I know deep down, he’s just as grateful as I am. This second chance he’s been given is not taken for granted. Before this day, my life was complete the night Alexander came back to me, but I’m eager to start this new chapter too.
A sense of calm washes over me. “I’m ready.”
“Sweetie?”
“Yes, Mom?”
“I know you’re already married to Alex, but amuse your dad and pretend this is the first time. He may be stubborn, but he’s also been an emotional mess. You’re still his baby girl, after all.”
Another don’t I don’t feel the need to clarify—this is my first wedding day, but with all the legal entanglements we’ve found ourselves in, it’s best to keep that to ourselves. “Okay.” I grab an extra tissue for my dad, and we walk into the hall to join him.
My dad was a hard sell, but Alexander managed to do it. I think he could sell the moon a set of moonbeams if he was determined enough. He went to my dad the day after we were saved and asked for his permission to marry his daughter. The obvious questions and accusations came from my understanding of how it played out, but within thirty minutes my mom said my dad was taking him out for a beer.
From what my mom overheard, Alexander managed to prove he was nothing like his father and would always treasure his daughter. Promises were made alongside apologies. My dad accepted and gave his permission. Although he believes we eloped months ago, he said he wanted to be a part of a ceremony and celebrate the union.
Alexander let him pay for the day, not because he wanted him to, but because my dad insisted. When I see my dad dressed in his tux, his smile is easy, though the day clearly makes him as emotional as the rest of us. The shine in his eyes tells me what he can’t articulate. “You look just like your mother. So beautiful.”
I hug him. “Thank you, Daddy.”
His bear hugs are the best, the feeling taking me back to my childhood when my dad made everything better. Releasing me, he wipes his eyes on a handkerchief from his pocket. “Promise me this is everything you want, and I’ll never say otherwise.”
I kiss his cheek. The marriage is important but that doesn’t complete me. Only one thing . . . or person does. “Alexander is everything I want.” Reaching up, I wipe lipstick from his cheek. “He is everything I need. He loves me, Daddy.”
“He does, and although I’m not sure about all that happened, I know I owe him for keeping you safe.”
Yeah, my parents don’t need to know every detail, but they were by my side while I gave my statement regarding April. I thought the first attack was hard to talk about, but talking about that woman conjures nightmares.
They sat in horror, but my mom took Alexander’s hand when I said how I thought I was going to die, but Alexander saved me.
He saved me.
The soul that was dying without him, he saved by fighting to stay alive, by living for me while I lived for him.
I said it best when I said star-crossed doesn’t have to mean doomed. We’ve proven it doesn’t.
My dad takes my hand, and says, “My only advice to you is stay strong even when you feel weak.”
“I am strong.” I’m Alexander’s girl, after all.
He nods toward the double doors. “You ready?”
“I’ve waited my whole life for this moment.”
The double doors of the terrace swing open and at the head of the aisle stands the man my parents warned me about. Thank God I didn’t listen to them.
This time I have no fear. I already know what I’m willing to do for him. I know the man I’m marrying, and I accept him for who he is.
He’s traded a leather jacket for a tuxedo, but the reaction deep inside me in seeing him is no less intense than the first time I saw him. Standing at an intersection that would determine the rest of my life, in the rain with a half-eaten candy bar, I knew I was his and he would be mine.
So without fear, I walk right into his life again, hands steady like his love, like the first time I ever met him . . .
The air is sucked from around us and filled with his presence. He’s cocky and powerful, owning every muscle in his body as he stands tall before me. “Hey.” Husky, deep, and confident.
“Hey.”
38
Alexander
The privilege of standing in front of this woman, my match in every way, my partner in crime, my soul mate, isn’t lost on me. We attempt to follow the rules by holding hands in front of our friends and families.
Fuck the rules.
I take Sara Jane’s face in my hands, holding her like the gentle Firefly she is, angle her toward me, and close the distance between us. “You once asked me if I had to choose—”
Her head is shaking and her words are spoken for only my ears to hear, “You don’t, Alexander. Please. I would never make you choose.”
“I will always choose you.” Leaning down, I kiss her with my eyes closed and our lips embracing. I kiss her like it’s the first time and the last I’ll ever get. I kiss her to tell her how much I love seeing her in my T-shirts in the morning, her sweet smiles at night when she’s asleep in my arms, the way her hair shines in the sun not just today, but the way she shines her light into my life every day. Running the pads of my thumbs under her eyes, I catch her tears. “Thank you for taking a chance on me.” I speak from the heart, still utterly enchanted by her like that first day . . .
“Sara Jane?” I call, knowing she should keep walking. Rationally, I should have never circled the block. I should have kept riding on, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t not stop and talk to the girl who seemed to be put in my path on purpose.
She should go and never look back, but when she stops and turns back, the sun seems to brighten the sky, even though it’s still drizzling. The breeze picks up, sending a few strands of her hair to blow across lips that remind me of the roses in our garden—soft, pink, and delicate. She tucks her hair behind her ear without thought and blinks, her lashes fanning across the tops of her cheeks.
Brave and strong, she looks back at me and in her sapphire eyes, I find something I never thought I would again—hope. “Yes, Alexander?”
A smile bearing the rush of captivation I have for this girl surfaces. “Don’t talk to strangers.”
Sara Jane laughs, tickling my ears with her delight. She’s unexpected in every way and I doubt I’ll ever get enough of her. Just when I think I’ve sufficiently scared her away, my need to spend time with her will only mean trouble for her in the end. “Then I wouldn’t have met you.”
. . . “To be standing here with you today, Alexander, I never doubted that a moment where I took a chance, one where I would either walk away with a lifetime of regret or follow the destiny mapped out in your eyes, our paths were always meant to cross. I feel fortunate they crossed when they did, when we were meant to be, when you needed me most and I needed you. Thank you for circling that block and thank you for loving me enough to bring me back to life.” Reaching up, she touches my cheek. “Thank you, babe, for giving me this life and the next. For giving me an eternity with you.”
This time she lifts up and kisses me to the chagrin of the justice of the peace standing before us and the small crowd here to celebrate this day.
When our lips part and our eyes slowly open, the JP says, “I now pronounce you husband and wife, partners, and soul mates fore
vermore.” His hand sways out. “If you want to kiss again, now’s a good time to seal the deal.”
My arm wraps around her middle and I tip her back. Just as my lips are about to meet hers again, I whisper, “You’re mine now forever, Mrs. Kingwood.”
“I was always yours, but now it’s legal.”
“You’re so fucking sexy when you speak in legalese.”
She laughs. I want her joy and good times, her laughter, and her heart—wanting to consume her whole soul into mine. Our tongues caress as her arms tighten around my neck. This time when we part, she asks, “You never said what it was you owed me.”
“How about I show you,” I reply, waggling my eyebrows.
The insinuation is caught and she asks, “Should we wait until after the reception?”
“Absolutely not.” I scoop her into my arms amongst her squeals and giggles—and a whole lot of applause from our guests—and start walking back down the aisle toward the manor.
Her eyes go wide as I cross the terrace. “You’re serious? You want to have sex right this minute?”
“Yes.”
“They’ll know. Everyone will know we left to have sex.”
“So?”
“Oh my God. What will they say?”
“They’ll say we’re already married, and we can’t get enough of each other.” I wink. “Remember they think we eloped, so I’m pretty sure they know we have sex.” I would normally swing her body over my shoulder and slap her ass. Hard. But my Firefly is delicate in many ways these days, so I’m careful with her.
“My mother was right.”
“About?” I ask, wanting to trek the stairs quickly. I stop. This isn’t working. She may be delicate, but she’s also irresistible. I tighten my hold around her back and legs, and run the rest of the way up.
“Men are absolutely incorrigible.”
“If anyone can manage me, it’s you.” Her feet are set down in the bedroom, the door closed and locked. The teasing between us stops, and the atmosphere turns serious. Standing there in her white dress, looking every bit the angel she is, I admire her beauty. “You look stunning.”
