by Amber Stuart
"I will not ask," he said. "But it is yours, Dakota. I give it willingly."
I stared down at the pendant. Looking up again, baffled, I studied the seriousness of his eyes a second time. Did he mean the pendant? Or something else?
He returned my gaze as if to accommodate me.
Then he seemed to think it was enough.
Sliding out from under me, he removed himself entirely then, rising to his feet. I stared after him as he limped, hunch-backed, to the cubicle door.
I didn’t move from my place on the wet tile, but just watched him go.
11
LEARNING THE LOCK
I FIGURED OUT pretty quick what Nik meant about us learning to communicate.
That didn’t make it any less strange, though.
We started working on it, pretty much from the moment I woke up the next morning. In fact, I wasn’t even really awake yet, when he started. I opened my eyes to find Nik hanging over me, his angular face serious as he studied mine. At first, I thought he was doing the stalker thing and watching me sleep, but then...
“Ow!” I said, gripping the front of my shirt. I stared up at him, then looked for his hands. Both lay innocuously on his lap. Even so, I knew he’d done that to me, somehow, even if I wasn’t sure what it had been.
“What the hell, Nik?” I said finally.
“You felt that?” he said.
“The ‘ow’ part didn’t tip you off?” I said. “Jeez, what the hell is wrong with you...” I trailed, seeing the intensity of relief in his expression. “What?” I said. “What did you do?”
“You can feel the lock,” he said, his voice reflecting that same relief.
I pulled myself up to a sitting position, resting my weight briefly on my elbows before wincing and transferring the bulk of it to my palms.
Rubbing my face with one hand, I blinked around at the egg-shaped room, taking in more details than I had in the semi-dark of the night before... or whatever time of day it had been. Glancing at the egg-worm sack lights that I remembered, then at the round, hatch-like door that lived at the top of a ladder that led to the curved ceiling, I looked back at Nik.
“Is that unusual?” I said finally. “To feel the lock?”
“It is not a given,” he replied cryptically.
Again, I noticed that his lips didn’t follow the course of his speech exactly. So he was using the translation thing.
“How does that work?” I said, motioning towards his mouth. “How can I understand you, Nik?”
“That is less important,” he said, waving off my words. “It will be faster soon, anyway... I will have them set us up a channel via the implant.”
At what must have been increased confusion in my expression, he patted the bed sharply, more to get my attention, I think.
“Concentrate on this, Dakota,” he said, his voice close to a reprimand. “I need you to concentrate on feeling the lock... on feeling me through the lock.”
I considered grumbling something about coffee, then decided he was right. This was more important. From what he said yesterday, this might be my only way out of here. If Nik couldn’t open his lock, he couldn’t take me back through any quasi-mystical space-time portals to get me back to Seattle and my real life.
“Okay,” I said, sighing. Dragging my legs up to copy his cross-legged position, I exhaled again, focusing on my chest. “What do I do?”
He didn’t answer. I could feel something in my chest again, though, and rubbed the spot absently until Nik took hold of my wrist, pulling my hand off the middle of my own chest.
“No,” he said softly. “Try to listen.”
“Listen?” I said, giving him a baffled look.
“Yes,” he said.
I did as he said, cocking my head as I tried to listen to whatever he was talking about. I had no idea what I was supposed to be listening for, though... or what that had to do with a pain in the middle of my chest.
I heard a faint hum come from the glow-worm sacks. I heard Nik’s breathing, and what might have been a lower hum beneath all that, maybe from some mechanics powering the room. I heard my own heartbeat. My own breathing.
I couldn’t hear anything beyond those things, though.
After a moment, Nik exhaled shortly, his expression changing to one of frustration.
“Perhaps I should just teach you the lock,” he said.
I gave him a dubious look. “Isn’t that what you are doing?” I said.
“No.” Thinking, he amended his words. “Well... yes. Partly. I was trying to teach you to hear me through the connection we share, so I could use that connection to teach you the lock.” At my frown, he tugged on my wrist, his expression taut. “It is all right. It was an experiment. I do not think this form of communication is self-evident to you, Dakota. Perhaps it would be better if we worked directly on the lock.”
“But you said that might get you in trouble?”
“It might, yes.”
I hesitated, then looked around the room again.
I realized only then that he still held my wrist lightly in his fingers. I didn’t mind, although I didn’t really think too closely about that, either.
“Were you... saying something?” I said finally. “Just now, I mean?”
His expression didn’t change.
“Yes,” he said.
“You were.” I didn’t really pose it as a question. I looked around the room again, straining for sound, for anything I could hear. “Nik, I was really listening. I didn’t hear anything.”
That time, something seemed to click for him. His expression altered, holding a deeper understanding, maybe from something he saw in me.
“No,” he said, sighing again. “No, Dakota... it is not like that. You listen here...” Leaning closer, he startled me, gently tapping that spot in the middle of my chest. “Not words. Not sounds. There is meaning. Your mind takes that meaning, interprets it. It does this with words, pictures... even sounds. Everyone is different, in terms of actual translation...”
“You’re saying my mind can translate?” I said, baffled. “Through the lock itself?”
“Yes,” he said, sounding relieved at my comprehension. “Yes, exactly this.”
“Okay,” I said, shrugging. “Then let’s try again.”
I still wanted coffee. I was pretty danged hungry, too. But I was determined enough to shunt both complaints aside to try and figure this out.
No way was I getting stuck here forever.
No way was I letting Nik get stuck here forever, either, where he was some kind of pet.
At the thought, I glanced up at him, and saw him staring at me again, his eyes that dark brown, almost chocolate color, even as his fingers tightened around my wrist. I felt whispers of that desire again, tangibly enough that I flinched a little, feeling my cheeks flush. In that same moment, I realized the desire I felt on him was something that started in my chest.
I could actually feel it there, now that I was looking at him.
At my understanding, I saw him smile.
“Yes,” he said. “Exactly that.”
“That was me hearing you?” I said, pushing past my embarrassment around the content of what I’d heard. I held his gaze. “...Through the lock, I mean?”
“Yes,” he said. Without so much as a shred of embarrassment in his expression, he tugged on my hand again, as if to get my attention. “Try again, Dakota. Try to feel me now, when I am sending something on purpose.”
I heard the implication there, too, but didn’t let my mind go there.
Within a few seconds, I found myself seeing something behind my eyes. I couldn’t trace it at first back to Nik, or to my chest, not specifically... still, something about it felt almost like a foreign intrusion, like the thought didn’t entirely belong to me.
My mind turned it into pictures again... vivid enough that they pretty much blocked out the rest of the room briefly, since I couldn’t superim
pose them directly on Nik’s facial expression that time, the way I had with the desire.
I saw what looked like a cord of light between Nik and I, and a structure on either end. The structure on Nik’s side was significantly more elaborate than the one on mine.
“That’s it?” I muttered, still fighting to concentrate on that structure of light. “That’s the lock?”
“Yes,” he said, after a too-long pause. “Yes, that is it. I can see it through you better now.” He paused, then stroked my arm softly, making me jump. “You are picking this up extremely quickly, Dakota,” he said. “Quicker than most non-morph.”
Something in the compliment made my heart leap in my chest, and brought on a rash of nerves that briefly made it difficult to control my facial expression.
I clenched my jaw, but didn’t move my arm away from his fingers.
“...It is good,” he murmured, softer, stroking my arm again. “It will make things much easier...”
Feeling that desire worsen on him, I did move my arm that time, swallowing. Some part of me closed up a bit, too, enough that the desire I’d felt abruptly dimmed.
When I looked up at him next, I saw disappointment etched into his features, along with what might have been impatience. Neither one felt aimed precisely at me, though.
“I am sorry,” he said. “I meant what I said before. You are safe with me, Dakota. But you must open more, like before... or we cannot understand one another.” Still studying my eyes carefully, he added, “Can we try again? I will behave appropriately this time. I promise.”
Without quite meeting his gaze, or pursuing the other thing he’d implied without saying it outright, I only nodded. Forcing my mind off him, and the way he was looking at me, I fought to “listen” instead, focusing on that spot in the center of my chest.
After another few minutes, I could see the thread between us again. I could also see the structures on both sides. I focused more on my end first, but the mechanism looked relatively simple. Kind of like a cord with roots that sunk into my chest.
I probably should have been totally freaked out by it, given that it looked like a parasite, or really, more like a tree growing out of my chest. But for some reason, I didn’t freak out.
Instead, I found myself looking at it with interest, almost like an extra limb.
After a few more seconds, I shifted my attention to that more complex structure on Nik’s chest. I could feel that sense of it being closed. I knew that closure came from the lock, just like Nik told me. I could tell he didn’t like it being closed, either.
Presumably I felt all of that through Nik himself, though... I couldn’t see the closed part, not in terms of the actual structure. Maybe I needed an open version to compare it to?
Either way, just by looking at it, I couldn’t tell what I should be trying to change.
I felt Nik trying to show me the open version, almost as if he heard me, too. I couldn’t really grasp the next set of images, though. I saw a wider hole there, briefly, and the sense of motion increased in the thread linking the two of us, almost as if more of me was going into more of him, and vice-versa.
I couldn’t really wrap my head around the significance of the different states, though, or how I would effect a change.
“So,” I said. “How do I open it?”
Glancing up at him, I clicked my fingers in front of his face, catching him staring down at me, his expression faintly puzzled.
“The lock, Nik,” I reminded him. “How does it work? Can you show me that part?”
He nodded, his eyes still faintly distracted, at least until he closed them.
After another pause, I felt that sense of him increase markedly. With that came a flood of feeling, including more of that desire. It was enough to take my breath.
“Jesus, Nik!” I shoved him backwards with the palm of my hand. “Cut it out!”
When I looked up, panting and rubbing the center of my chest, he’d blanched.
“I am sorry.”
“You said you’d behave,” I snapped. “‘Act appropriate’... whatever.”
“I am sorry,” he repeated.
“Is this some pick up thing for you?” I said, irritated, still rubbing my chest. “Or does it make all morph horny, to have some girl messing with your locks?”
He didn’t answer that time. When I glanced back at him, I saw an uncomfortable look on his face. His jaw had clenched, too, and his hands where they lay in his lap. He wouldn’t meet my gaze, though, and his expression seemed to be almost deliberately opaque.
“Can we try again?” he said, after another moment.
I just stared at him, at first.
Then I sighed, glancing around us once more, conscious suddenly that Nik was worried about time. He really hadn’t been kidding about thinking Ledi and the other humans might intervene, if he tried to get me to open his lock. Nik seemed to believe it was a risk, anyway. I got the sense of a ticking clock over us now, as I unconsciously felt over that spot in the middle of my chest. The sensation quickened my heart rate, in spite of myself.
Realizing what I was doing, I dropped my hand back to my lap.
“Okay, sure,” I muttered, still glancing around at the walls.
That time, when I saw the image of that light bridge between us, I felt almost nothing on him, at least in terms of actual emotion.
He really hadn’t been kidding, though, about us not having much time.
12
PRISONERS AND CAPTORS
THEY SHOWED UP a few hours later. They pretty much ignored me that time, barely looking at me as they filed into the room.
But they took Nik away.
I couldn’t believe it. I felt Nik tense, right before the round, hatch-like door at the top of the ladder began to swivel in hard, tight arcs, lifting up and away from the round hole that made up the entrance.
Guards came down that ladder seconds later, all wearing the same, black uniforms.
I watched them motion Nik up from the bed, saw him obey wordlessly as they tugged his wrists behind his back, cuffing them tightly with dark gray, metal cuffs, probably four times the thickness of those used on Earth. One of the guards smacked him in the middle of the chest, too, and I felt the pain in my own. That same guard let out a string of angry words that both felt and sounded like a warning.
Clearly, the idea of Nik transforming on them made them nervous.
They took him for a few days that time.
I was pretty much going nuts after a few hours, and wondering why the hell I hadn’t taken Nik more seriously when he described the risk to me.
By the time they brought him to the door, after those few days had passed––or as much as I could tell days in this place, by the automatic dimming and lightening of glow-worm sacks that occurred after I’d eaten a few prepared meals––I was pretty much climbing the walls.
I watched them uncuff Nik in front of me, staring at the bruises around his eyes and jaw for a long moment before I could feel anything but numb.
They’d cuffed his wrists in front of him again, for the ladder, presumably, and I saw them drag him to the center of the room before they instructed him to hold out his arms so they could release him. Once they had, they walked back to the ladder and climbed swiftly back out, without so much as looking at me.
I stood in front of Nihkil after they left, staring at his face, struggling for words. I watched his broad shoulders straighten as he rubbed his raw wrists and felt a kind of rage take over me, even though he hadn’t yet bothered to meet my gaze, or to speak.
Watching as he sat heavily on the cushions making up our bed, I felt my fingers coil into fists at my sides. I bit my lip as he shifted his body deeper onto the bed, presumably so that he could lean his back against the wall.
I couldn’t help noticing how stiffly he moved, studying the pattern of bruises that went from his jaw down to his collarbone, disappearing under his clothes in such a way that I kn
ew I’d likely seen only a fraction of the damage they’d actually inflicted. I watched him lean his back carefully against the curved, blue-mirrored wall, saw him wince from the contact even as an expression of relief fell over his features.
Seeing his eyes turn from dark yellow to a lighter green, my frown returned as I understood the cause.
He was happy to see me.
Even though I couldn’t do a damned thing for him, even though I’d just stood there and let them take him away, he looked ridiculously glad to see me.
At the thought, something in my gut twisted up again.
"What the hell, Nik?” I burst out. “What did they do to you?”
He stiffened, his expression openly startled when he looked up next. Making an effort when I saw his blank look, I controlled my voice.
"I want to talk to your pal, Ledi,” I said coldly. “Can you arrange that, Nik?"
Nihkil continued to stare up at me, his expression shifting into wary. "Ledi?"
"Yeah, the boss. The head honcho. I want to have a chat with him. Alone."
Nihkil’s expression hardened. "Alone. Why?"
"What do you mean, why? I’m seriously not okay with this, Nik!"
"You cannot speak with Ledi," Nihkil said. As if seeing something in my eyes, he amended his words. “...I will not forbid it,” he clarified. “Whatever the humans permit of me, I will not go against your wishes... but I would prefer to be told why. Why do you want to speak with him? It is not good for you to be alone with him, Dakota."
“Why the hell not?” I snorted. “Is he going to beat me up, too?"
Nihkil watched me pace in front of him, his eyes shifting to a darker blue. His high-cheek-boned face grew as still as a statue, but I found myself thinking it was a handsome face, now that I'd gotten used to the more subtle expressions it wore.
Something in the expression there now told me he didn't like where this conversation was heading.
If I had to guess, I’d say his reaction bordered on angry. Distrustful, anyway. As if feeling some portion of that on me, or maybe seeing it in my face, he seemed to be trying to control his expression.
