Servant of Chaos (Forgotten Gods Book 3)

by Laura Greenwood

  "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to come." I spun away from him and hurried back in the direction of my rooms.

  "Rhodopis, please wait." He reached out and caught hold of my wrist. "Don't leave."

  "It's not safe."

  "I don't care about that."

  "I do," I countered. "If you're caught..."

  "Seth can't do anything to me," he pointed out. "If he did, he'd bring down Ra and all of the others on him. I can safely say that it's safe for me to talk to you."

  I wondered if it was worth pointing out that I wouldn't be safe. But endangering me wasn't something he had a choice on. It was my choice and no one else.

  "Why did you ask to meet me?" he whispered once he was certain I wasn't going anywhere.

  I chewed on my lower lip, wondering if I had what it took to say this out loud. "He killed a girl." My voice cracked as the words came out. "Someone I thought was becoming my friend." The first one I'd had in several hundred years. That wasn't something I was likely to give up easily.

  "I'm sorry, I know that must be hard."

  "It is." I didn't elaborate. The last thing Abu needed was to learn how many people I'd said goodbye to over the years. None of them had been family. I had no real concept of what it felt to have them around.

  He didn't say anything, which made sense. No doubt he had no idea about what to say. I wasn't making much sense, and it hardly made sense that I'd brought him here just to say someone was dead. It wasn't exactly groundbreaking.

  "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought you out here," I said after another moment of tense silence.

  Abu pulled me around to face him. I looked up into his eyes, seeing something there that I couldn't put a name to. It was almost as if he'd go to the end of the earth and back for me.

  "Then why did you?" he asked softly, his breath brushing across my cheek.

  Something about him sent me into a relaxed state. I shouldn't let my guard down. It isn't even about him, but about the way other people could use this against me. Seth's reach was long, and he might think it was worth the risk of Ra's wrath to do something to humiliate me. Seth worshipped chaos, a war between the gods was exactly what he wanted.

  If I wasn't careful, I could be the one who started it. A modern-day Helen of Troy. Even cut off from the world, I'd heard the stories.

  I pulled away from Abu and began to pace up and down in front of him. I could tell from the expression on his face that he wanted nothing more than to pull me into his arms and chase away the pain. But it was too late for that.

  "A part of me wants to crush him," I admitted. "To cause as much pain as he has to me." But even as I said it, I knew that wasn't possible. I doubted Seth felt pain like I did.

  "You can come away with us," Abu suggested again.

  "I can't. You know that," I countered. We'd been through this already. Even if I wanted to, I was still a slave. I belonged to Seth, and I would for the rest of my life. Nothing could change that.

  "You can if you take your rightful place as a goddess."

  I pursed my lips and tried to think of the best way to respond to that one. I knew he believed I was a goddess, but it wasn't the case. I would have figured it out by now if I was one.

  "That's not an option," I reminded him.

  "It is. If they find out that you were enslaved..."

  I laughed bitterly. "If I am a goddess, don't you think one of the other gods that's visited over the years would have picked up on it?" That was one of the things that convinced me more than anything that he was mistaken. How could I have gone unnoticed for such a long length of time?

  "I swear, you have all the signs of being one."

  "I don't want to talk about that. Coming away with you isn't an option." But one that had been playing on my mind since the moment I'd seen Sophia's soulless eyes. "But I do want to help you."

  "How?" he reached out and stopped my pacing.

  I leaned in so I could whisper in his ear. The last thing we needed was for someone to overhear what I was about to suggest. "I could...watch. And tell you things."

  He pulled back, shock evident in the soft moonlight dappling his skin. "That's too dangerous."

  "No more so than trying to run away," I countered.

  "How..."

  "There's an oasis not far from here, did you pass it?" I hoped he knew the one I meant or else this would be more complicated than I planned it to be.

  "Yes. We camped there overnight."

  "I can meet you there. Every other Sunday and tell you what I've found out." It's the only thing I could think of to keep the promise to myself to bring Seth down, without putting an even worse target on my back. At least, that was the plan.

  He nodded.

  A scuffing sound came from the other side of the courtyard. Both of us turn sharply, trying to get a good view of whoever it is making the sound.

  "What do we do?" I whisper, panic filling me as I realise someone might be watching.

  "Kiss me," he says.

  "I don't think now is the time," I respond.

  "It is if you want to make this look like nothing more than an interrupted tryst."

  My eyes widened as I realised what he was getting at. I didn't hesitate any longer but turned and almost threw myself into his arms.

  Our lips met, and I melted into him. The heat of our bodies was the only thing I was able to focus on.

  Despite everything that was happening, I was certain of one thing. This felt right. And I wanted to do it again.

  That meeting every other Sunday in the oasis was going to become about more than just information.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  I TRIED NOT to let my gaze slip to Abu too much during the final feast, but it was hard when we hadn't been able to have more time alone together, especially as this was his last night in the temple. Ra's company would be leaving come the morning, and I wasn't sure how to deal with that one. The place would certainly feel emptier than it had before, but that wasn't going to be the only problem.

  Nerves jittered in my stomach even as I thought about the idea of sneaking out of the temple and to the oasis. Not because my resolve faltered. I was going to get my revenge on Seth if it was the last thing I did, but I wasn't naive enough to think I'd be able to do it on my own. Handing information to his enemies was the only way.

  As if my thoughts had summoned him, Seth rose to his feet and clapped his hands together.

  Everyone fell silent instantly. At least his treatment of me had done some good, even Ra's people had learned that doing what Seth said was the smartest decision. No one else wanted to get hurt. I was glad for that, even if the wounds on my back smarted at the thought of the whip cracking down on my skin again.

  "I'd like to thank our guests for their visit and wish them well on their journey home." The glint in his eye made me uneasy, but I had no idea why. Maybe this needed to be the first piece of information I slipped to Abu. Though I wasn't sure how useful the vague assertion that Seth was up to no good would be.

  Ra stood up in response, and it was only then I noted how little I'd seen him during this visit. Had he been closeted with Seth? And if he had, then what would that mean for the rest of our society? Or the world. I didn't think the general population of the world would be saved if the gods went to war, even when they no longer believed in the gods' existence.

  "I would like to raise a toast to Seth, our gracious host," Ra's voice boomed out as he dipped his head towards the other god. "To Seth."

  His cohort lifted their goblets, and the priests and priestesses of Seth's temple raised theirs in response, but it was clear to anyone watching that their hearts weren't quite as in it. I'd long ago learned that they were only one step above us slaves. Most of them didn't want to serve Seth, but had been tricked into it. Though there were a few exceptions, just like Charaxos was the exception from the slaves.

  "To Seth," they all mumbled.

  To my surprise, the god of chaos dipped his head. Humility looked odd
on him, and only convinced me further that he was plotting something.

  The two gods sat back down and the general chatter of the banquet started once more. On the pretence of going to get more wine to serve, I moved away from the table I was supposed to wait on, and crept behind the main dais. No one noticed me. They had no reason to. Even if Seth had whipped me in front of everyone, I was still a nameless, faceless slave. The only thing they cared about was that he'd shown his power and control. Though the slaves and lower priests may have noticed.

  "Is everything set?" Seth asked his high priest.

  Motep nodded. "Just as you instructed."

  I paused for a moment, trying to work out what they were talking about and hoping they were going to say more.

  "I wouldn't linger long, if I were you."

  I startled at the sound of Amun's voice. Trying to hide my shock, I looked up at him.

  "I was just going to get some more wine." I lifted the mostly empty jug as if to illustrate my point, badly. We both knew that wasn't why I was here.

  He raised an eyebrow. "You know where it is."

  I let out a breath I wasn't aware I held. "You're just going to let this go?" The question slipped out without me wanting it to.

  He chuckled. "You've stayed out of trouble for millennia, what's with this sudden determination to get yourself killed?" He seemed more amused by my plight than anything else, but I didn't want to focus on what that could mean.

  "I don't know what you mean," I tried.

  "And neither do I. But don't let me catch you again," he warned, pretending he had no idea what I was up to. "I won't ever get you into trouble, but that doesn't mean other people aren't watching."

  I blinked a couple of times, his words not making any sense. "But why help me at all?"

  Amun shrugged. "Maybe I'm not as bad a man as you think I am."

  The assurance that I didn't think he was a bad man anyway settled on the tip of my tongue, but I held them back. I had no idea why Amun was doing what he was, and I knew better than to question a god, particularly one who was still believed in enough to have his powers.

  He gave me one last smile before returning to his seat at the feast. Amun confused me. There was no doubt about that. But I didn't think he was involved with whatever it was that could threaten Abu and the rest of Ra's retinue. Their safety was the first thing on my mind right now.

  I hurry away from the dais, knowing that if Seth caught me, I was going to end up in more trouble than just some whip marks on my back, and then Ra's people would suffer the consequences.

  Turning left on my way to the kitchens, I do my best to catch Abu's eye. I hoped he'd pick up on my signal and meet me on my way back. For now, I needed to go and get some wine in case anyone questioned me on my way back. I didn't want to be caught without the one thing I was supposed to have.

  It only took a few minutes to have my jug refilled. It wasn't enough time. I doubted that Abu would be able to get away from the people he was sat with and find me in it.

  I walked as slowly as I dared, aware that I could be called over to serve someone wine at any point. That was one of the many disadvantages of being one of the many slaves here. People expected things from me. Far more than I wanted to give, especially when I had an agenda.

  "Rhodopis," he whispered.

  I jerked, sloshing wine over my hands. I didn't care. I set the jug down on a plinth. It would either be there when I got back, or one of the other servers would pick it up and use it. That hardly mattered, I had more important things I needed to do.

  Slipping into the shadows, I let Abu cage me in his arms. If anyone passed, they'd dismiss us as nothing more than a couple having a tryst. Even better, people would probably think he'd requested my attention, and so long as no one figured out who we were, it would go unnoticed.

  "Are you alright?" he asked. "You seemed flustered."

  I bit my lip, thinking of the best way to say this without sounding paranoid. "I think Seth is planning something for when you leave," I whispered.

  "What kind of something?"

  I shook my head. "I don't know, Amun chased me off before I could hear anything else. I'm sorry I don't have more, I just thought..." I trailed off, not wanting to put the rest of my thoughts into words. Even if I wanted to hurt Seth's cause, I didn't make it easy for me to go against the things I'd been trained to do my entire life.

  "That I'd want to know," he finished for me.

  "Yes, maybe you can do something about it." I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his reaction to how lame my words were. Maybe I should just have stayed quiet.

  His finger brushed against my cheek.

  My eyes snapped open, meeting his adoring gaze.

  "Thank you." He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine.

  I relaxed into him, enjoying the kiss and everything it stood for.

  "Abu?" someone shouted.

  We jumped away from one another, and I let out a nervous giggle.

  "I'm sorry, I have to go." His expression switched from one of desire, to one almost of pain.

  "It's okay, I understand," I assured him.

  "I'll meet you by the oasis next week?" he asked.

  I nodded eagerly. Even though I was pained at the idea of him leaving already, the thought of meeting him again out in the oasis was reassuring. Comforting, even.

  "Then I won't say goodbye." He kissed me again, but this time it was fleeting.

  He disappeared back to the banquet, no doubt to answer the call of whoever it was that needed his attention.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  DUST FILLED the air as Ra's retinue filed away. Sadness sat heavily in my stomach, knowing that Abu was heading away from me. My one chance at being happy, and I was no longer able to do anything about it.

  Seth stood not far away from me, a knowing smirk on his lips. He leaned over to whisper something to Motep.

  The sadness inside me twisted into rage at the sight. They were plotting something that could take some of Ra's retinue to the land of the dead. Not the gods, though, I wasn't sure what he planned for them. It should reassure me that Abu wouldn't join Osiris' realm, and yet, it didn't. He could still be hurt, even maimed, and that wasn't something I wanted to think about too heavily.

  When nothing happened, I started to get confused. Had I misunderstood what the two of them had been plotting? Were they not trying to hurt Ra and his priests? I still didn't know why they'd come here in the first place. Maybe that was something I should have asked Abu when I had the chance. It was too late now. I just had to hope that whatever it was, Seth didn't want to ruin the chances of their agreement sticking.

  I didn't look around me to see who else was watching the departure. There wouldn't be many of us. No one cared that they were leaving except that it meant we could now tidy up the temple. Except for me. I had to watch my heart walk away, or I was going to regret it.

  In my mind, it didn't even matter that I was planning on seeing Abu again in a week.

  The only other people I thought were around were Seth and his direct advisors. No doubt they wanted to see whatever plan they'd made in action.

  Dust rose up from the sides of the caravan.

  "No!" My hand flew to my mouth even though I knew that would give me away.

  Sand swirled up and around them all, obscuring everyone from view. But, as far as I could tell, Ra's men weren't doing anything to counteract what was happening now. How could they be so foolish? Didn't they know they were being attacked? I'd told them in advance. They should have been ready.

  A manic chuckle broke the tension. I turned to look at Seth. The amount of glee in his eyes was nauseating. He enjoyed this. I wasn't too sure why that surprised me. He was the god of chaos. I'd known that for as long as I'd been here. Longer, even. I wasn't sure what I'd picked up on as a child versus in the slave market, but I'd already known who Seth was when someone told me I'd be serving him.

  He turned, his eyes latching on to me and a sinister smir
k twisting at his lips. "Are you enjoying the show?" he asked.

  I held my head up high, even though that felt like it was a dangerous thing to do. He'd already tried to break me once. I didn't want to give him a reason to try again. Not when I wasn't sure if I could take it or not.

  And yet, a part of me still wanted to defy him.

  "Your lord asked you a question," Motep prodded. The emotions in his eyes were even worse than in the gods. I suspected it was cruelty I saw there, as opposed to Seth's love of chaos. It would be easy to mistake the two, but Seth hurt people out of a different motivation.

  I wasn't sure if that was better or worse.

  "Hush," Seth ordered his priest. "Let her speak. How are you finding the show?"

  "Chaotic," I answered, not letting the fear I felt into my voice. He wasn't going to manage to scare me. I wouldn't let him.

  "Just the way I like it. But you know that, don't you, Rhodopis?"

  I held back the scowl that wanted to break free. I wouldn't let him know that he had the better of me. I couldn't.

  "Of course, my lord," I said evenly.

  "Didn't you take a liking to one of those gods down there?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly knowing the answer to his question. He just wanted to make me say it.

  "No more of a liking than just enjoying what met my eyes," I lied. I hoped Abu would never find out I'd said that. I knew deep down that our connection went deeper than that, even if we haven't done anything to seal that bond yet.

  "Hmm. And how did you thank him for saving your life?" Seth asked. If I hadn't known better, I'd have said there was a hint of worry in his voice. He thought I might have traded information for my safety. In a way, I supposed he was right. But not like he thought. The information was for revenge, not my own skin.

  "He asked for services of me and was done in the morning." I met the god's eyes, not breaking contact for fear he would press further.

  "Gods are all the same, Rhodopis," he warned me. "They'll use you until they're done and then throw you on the wayside."