“Wow, I’m so happy for you. You deserve a nice guy, Quinn.” She leans her head back and I smile at her.
Before long my cell starts ringing. I have yet to turn on the landline, but I think Kyle’s given up on calling that number for fear of talking to Maggie. I sigh and roll my eyes. Quinn asks if it’s Kyle and I confirm. She asks about him coming tonight and the plan to avoid him. I tell her I want us all to go to the party on Fifteenth Street and she agrees. There are plenty of parties and bars on campus and the chances that he would show up are slim. He won’t be here until the evening and I’ll plan to be out before he can come to my dorm. She says she’ll tell the others and work on finding us a place for an early dinner reservation. Just then, Maggie comes in and plops down on her bed. She doesn’t ask about Reed in front of Quinn because she knows how reserved I like to be. I really appreciate this about Maggie. She gets me and doesn’t try to change me. As we laugh about things that happened at McGee’s, my phone starts ringing again. I curse and say that I am going to have to get a new number before I hit ignore. Not even a minute goes by and it starts ringing again. I can’t take it anymore so I answer it without even looking.
“HELLO!?” I shout into the receiver in a less than friendly voice.
“Katherine? It’s me, dad. Are you ok?” Shit.
“Oh, sorry dad. I thought it was another … solicitor call. How are you?” Maggie and Quinn get up and head out of the room most likely because they know enough about the situation with my mom.
“Fine, fine. Just getting ready to take Daniel to tennis. How did your mid-terms go?”
I tell my dad all about my mid-terms and how the week has gone. We talk about miscellaneous stuff and I try to avoid talking about my mom. My mom was supposed to come home over the summer, but she had been staying at my aunt’s and had a major setback. She went back into a program, but remained living with my aunt. She could have come home to do a program, but refused. My dad had been flying out every month to visit. Daniel had even gone out there several times. I have no interest in talking to her, let alone visiting her. Over the summer I answered the phone when she called a couple times and cut her off when she tried to talk with me. I’d either pass the phone over or take a message. Dad still never pressures me, but he does try to explain her medical prognosis and progression. He tells me that a lot has changed and she is getting better all the time. Recently, she left me messages on my phone and asked me to call her back. I guess she is ready to come home soon.
“Sweetie, mom said she’s called you a couple times. Did you get her messages?” The delicacy in his voice carries through and I can imagine his brow furrowed. I hesitate and take a deep breath.
“Yeah, I did.” I know I need to confront this issue, but as usual I just don’t feel ready. I’m afraid to let out all of my anger. This goes for my situation with Kyle too. I take after my dad more in that sense. I’ve never really seen him let all his emotions out, especially anger. He has gotten better since mom left though. Maybe I should try harder to do the same. The itch to get out for a run and play some tennis is consuming me though.
“Sweetie, have you thought about calling her? It may not be as bad as you think. She’s trying sweetie, and soon she’ll be here. I want both my girls back and happy. I can’t have that until we all try to work through this hardship together. She loves you and misses you so much, you know?”
“Ok dad, I’ll think about it.” It’s all I can offer. I start to choke on the lump in my throat and feel the tears stinging my eyes. “I have to get going … I need to get on the courts before I lose my spot.”
We say goodbye and as soon as I hang the phone up the tears spill from the corner of my eyes. I’m not sure if it’s all because of my mom that has me emotionally charged, but I don’t stop myself. I curl back up in a ball and grab my pink and white afghan blanket that is frayed from the years of cuddling. Once I calm down I change into my running clothes and sneak out of my dorm room without anyone noticing me.
I plug in my ear phones and start to head down to the lake. I won’t have time to run along the lake, but I can run there and back. I’ll still have time on the courts too. I have my “sad playlist” blasting in my ears. Sad, that’s an emotion I can identify right now. I’m sad about my mom, sad about Kyle, and sad about Reed. I guess when I actually think about what happened with Reed I’m not sad, just disappointed that he left so quickly. Otherwise I thoroughly enjoyed myself; more than I knew was possible. I know I have to address these three areas or people in my life. My dad is right that my mom is trying and I am resisting. I’m afraid to let her in when she left us so easily. I needed her and still do. My memories are jaded right now. I’m questioning the happy times. I remember after Daniel was born there was a sadness about her. I don’t remember how long it lasted and I can’t remember if it changed the dynamics in our house. Dad was busy with work and I tried very hard to be helpful with Daniel. Eventually that phase ended and mom returned to herself. I was always eager to keep her happy though. There were other times similar to that and I can remember feeling lonely and distant. I wonder if my mom knows how those moments and times affected me. We never talked about it, but just moved on. I’m sad and angry with her, but still love and miss her. It all seems conflicting in my mind. I decide that I will try to call her back this week.
Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye comes on and I think of Kyle. Is that what will happen to us? He’ll just be someone I used to know. This Kyle is just so relentless that I can’t imagine him letting me go. I still am questioning if I am right in wanting to move on from Kyle. There is a part of Kyle that always takes too much from me. He is always asking for more than I feel willing to give. The edge to Kyle seems to intensify over time. The pressure he can put on me and turn a situation around so that I comply with what best suits Kyle weakens me. I’m aware of this flaw in our relationship, yet when in his presence I am consumed and weak.
Chapter 21
My run is cut short in order for me to get to the courts. It’s later than I would normally meet Reed and I’m not even sure if he’ll be there after last night. I head straight to the locker room to change into my tennis gear. I’m nervous to see Reed and feel slightly embarrassed about what happened last night. I don’t think I have ever experienced anything like that with Kyle. Okay, so I know for a fact I haven’t. Even though Kyle and I did eventually have sex again over the summer it didn’t happen very often but it always felt … rushed and focused on Kyle’s needs. I wonder if it’s like that with all guys, well, in particular Reed. No one is even here to see me and I am seven shades of red thinking like this.
I walk out of the locker room and hear my name. I turn around and see a guy from one of my classes, Andy. He’s a couple inches taller than me with strawberry blonde hair and Ralph Lauren tortoise glasses. He’s studious looking, but defined and always well put together. We go to the same study group for our accounting class together.
“Hey there, Kate, you play?” He walks a step closer to me letting others get by to head into the back gym.
“Yeah, I’ve played for years and try to come every Saturday and once during the week. Do you play? I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.” I pull my hair back with my hands and tie it with a hair band.
“No, I just use this gym because it doesn’t get as crowded. How do you think your mid-term went?”
We stand there for a moment and talk about the mid-term and the class. I look over towards the courts to see if I see Reed but I don’t see him out there. It sounds like Andy is about to ask me to do something when I feel a strong form directly behind me. Andy’s eyes travel over my head. I know who it is, but I turn slightly to see beautiful, but intense blue eyes blazing.
“Hey man.” He gives Andy a head gesture and his voice is curt.
Then he changes his tone and says, “There you are, I stopped at your dorm to grab you, but you beat me here.” The look of shock on my face must be obvious because he raises his eye brows and winks a
t me. He moves his hand to the small of my back and starts guiding me towards the courts. “You ready?”
“Um, yea… Andy I’ll see you Tuesday. Have a good weekend.” I smile weakly at him, but follow Reed.
“Take care, Kate. I’ll see ya.”
I move myself from Reed’s hand to keep it from touching me. My lips are pursed and I’m not sure if I’m more mad or relieved. We get to our court and play in silence. I slam my serves with anger and more focus on how hard I can hit them instead of keeping them in. This humors Reed and this only upsets me more. We play two games like this and then finally he speaks.
“Ok, so let’s play a game, kinda like fifty questions, but choose one with no explanations. Ready?” I give him a look of confusion, but he continues. “Black and white or color?”
“Um…”
“Don’t over analyze, just say the one that comes to your mind first.”
“Ok, color.” I serve a ball in and we play back and forth. I decide I should use this to my advantage to learn more about him. “Plain Jane or Barbie Doll?”
He snickers and says, “Plain Jane.” For some reason this answer satisfies me because I am probably closer to a Plain Jane than a Barbie Doll. “Vanilla or Chocolate?”
“Chocolate. Plato or Aristotle?” He is a Political Science major with a minor in Philosophy.
“Plato. Milwaukee or Chicago?” Ah, that’s a tough one, but since I’m here right now.
“Milwaukee. Evens or odds?”
“Evens. Mashed potatoes or baked potatoes?”
“Mashed. Wendy’s fries or McDonald’s fries?” Dang, I love baked potatoes, but it’s a close call.
“McDonald’s fries. Summer or winter?” He shoots out quickly.
“Summer. Slow kissing or fast kissing?” We are firing these out so fast I don’t have time to filter my thoughts. He gives me a delicious smile and doesn’t hesitate to answer.
“Slow kissing.” He gives me a knowing wink and I blush. Hmmm… I could get used to that. Kyle is not slow about anything. “Roses or tulips?”
“Roses. Comedy or drama?” I answer roses because Rose is my middle name after my great-grandma. I had spent a great deal of time with her before she passed away. I was eight when she passed. Every time I see roses I think of her and it brings heartfelt loving memories to my mind.
“Comedy.” It’s a close call for me, but I love a good comedy. He pauses before he says the next one and slams a serve in that I miss. He wins this game. “Me or Kyle?” He asks with a bold unwavering stare.
Guess he wins this game too. I stop and am breathing heavy from trying to reach his serve, but when those words register I hold my breath. I’m staring at him and he is breathing heavy with his hands on his knees holding my gaze. His hair is damp and slightly covering his eyes. I bite down on the bottom corner of my lip wondering if I should be honest and decide I have been this whole game why stop now.
“You.” I walk off the courts, but not without noticing a grin that reaches his eyes and lights up his face. I head straight to the locker room and never look back.
******
I take a nice long nap after tennis and wake to my phone vibrating. I have a text, but dread checking it. Of course there are a couple from Kyle, but the most recent is a number I don’t recognize.
Will you be at the party on 15th? Reed
I wonder how he got my cell phone number because I never gave it to him.
Yes. Will u? Katherine
I decide to sign my name as Katherine instead of Kate since he seems to like it and is the only other person who calls me my full name other than my dad.
If u r then yes. Reed
Yep, I just felt butterflies invade my stomach and my heart skipped a beat. I decide not to reply since I’ll see him later. It’s early still, but we are headed out early to dinner. I throw my pillow at Maggie to start waking her too. She grumbles and tosses over. I tell her I’m jumping in the shower to start getting ready. Kyle’s text says he won’t be here until six, so I want to make sure I am gone from here by five. I take a longer shower than usual and my skin heats up quickly. It’s not as warm as it was yesterday, but not horrible out. I’m not sure what I want to wear, but I decide I’ll let Quinn do my make-up and maybe pick out my outfit. I throw on my pink robe and head back into the room.
“What time do we need to get out of here to avoid the asshole?” I give her a look, but can’t help let out a giggle. It’s kind of true or maybe a lot true.
“I was thinking by five, is that ok? I just don’t want to run into him. He’s still texting and calling like crazy. God, I wish he’d get the hint.”
“Of course that is fine. Derek and Brandon want to come out early, too. Plus, Brandon thinks we can get served at the Brew and Pub downtown.” She stretches out and then stands. “You know you are probably going to have to deal with him sooner or later. Ignoring him is not working and I worry about you. I know you like to avoid this stuff, but this is getting to be a little too stalkerish.”
I think on that for a moment and realize she is right. “I know. I just …” I try to figure out my words before I let them out. “It’s just that when I am with him he can really take control and persuade me. I don’t trust myself with him. It always seems like he has a hold on me somehow. But I swear to you Maggie, I don’t want that anymore. I want to move on. It’s time.”
“I get that, I really do. After this weekend though when he’s not here you need to answer one of the calls and tell him. That way there will be no question in his mind about getting you back.” She walks over to her closet to look at her clothes and then pops her head back out. “Soooo enough Kyle, how is Reed?”
“Good, I think. No, actually I’m not sure. Maybe. I’m confused.” I laugh and she laughs at me. I tell her almost everything about last night and then about at the courts today. She confirms that he did stop here to get me. My heart flutters rapidly and I feel butterflies in my belly.
Chapter 22
We get to the Brew and Pub just a little after five and I am relieved to be out of the dorm. I haven’t got a text or call from Kyle in over an hour now. Brandon orders us a couple pitchers of beer and is able to with no problems. We just hang out for a while talking. I notice that Derek and Kelly haven’t really talked. Derek makes his way next to me and asks to talk to me. I glance at Kelly, but she pretends not to notice. He drags a chair in between me and Maggie and leans into me. He asks me if I’m ok and tells me not to worry about Kyle that they all are here for me. It’s sweet and I’m happy that Derek has become such a good friend. We drink our beers in silence for a moment. Then I decide I want to ask him about Kelly. Something is just off about this situation. It’s almost like they are trying to not hurt my feelings.
“Do you like Kelly?” I figure I should just come out with it. The alcohol brings out my boldness like always. I give him an encouraging smile and he moves his eyes down to his beer.
“I don’t want you to be upset or hurt or anything like that though.”
“What? I think you two would be great for each other. Why would I be upset?” It’s loud in here and Kelly is wrapped up in a conversation with the other girls and a couple guys who joined in.
“I don’t know, I just, uh… You know I’ve l liked you more than a friend, Kate, even though you were clear with me. I can’t lie that I haven’t hoped all this time that something might change for you.” He inhales and looks up at me. “You’ve never led me on or gave me a reason to think it would though.”
“I’m sorry. You’re right, I guess I’ve always sensed that a little. You are a good friend and I’m glad we are friends. I know that sounds stupid, but it’s true. I want you to be happy. Kelly’s a great girl… Do you like her?”
“Thanks, I’m glad we are friends too. I know that’s what we should be too. And yea, I do like her.” He grins at me and moves his arm around my shoulders to give me a friendly hug.
“Then you need to go for it!” I tell him between a laugh
. He is visibly relieved to have talked to me. He asks me more about Kyle, but I don’t divulge anything other than that I broke up with him. After a few moments he makes his way over to Kelly and sits down next to her. The smile she shines on him is so heartwarming it makes me truly happy.
I glance down at my phone and see I missed a text. The name that flashes across the screen has me smiling internally.
Where r u? Reed
I glance at the time and see its quarter to eight. I wonder if he is at the party already. It seems like that would be a little early for him.
Downtown. Katherine
Instead of another text my phone starts to ring and I am relieved that it is Reed calling. I get up from the table with my beer and head to the back by the bathrooms in order to decrease the noise level. Maggie immediately gets up to follow me, but I mouth to her that it is Reed. I answer, but before I can say hello Reed begins to talk.
“Hi Katherine.” God I love how he says my name. Sigh.
“Hi, how are you?” I suddenly feel a little awkward because we have never talked on the phone before.
“I’m good, I’ve just been thinking about you.” Stomach flip. “And about last night. How are you?” And another stomach flip with butterflies. I’m pretty sure he’s flirting, but I’m not sure how to respond.
“I’m good.” My next words have me reddened and whispering. “I’ve been thinking about you, too.”
“Well, that makes me happy. I want to see you. Can I come meet you out or can you come here before the party?” I hesitate for only a moment before I respond too eagerly.
“Um, ok. I’m not sure what time everyone is leaving though.”
“Tell me where you are and I’ll come pick you up. Then we can hang out here for a little bit and go to the party after.” He pauses for a moment and then makes his intentions very clear. “I don’t think I can wait to see you until the party, Katherine.”
The Perfect Distraction (Volume 1) Page 12
