“It’s perfect. Thank you, Reed.”
We talk about nothing in particular, or at least nothing that stresses me out. He shares stories about when he played baseball in high school and I share stories about tennis, which don’t involve Kyle. We banter back and forth about the Brewers and the White Sox, while bashing the Cubs. Neither of us discuss past relationships. I’m curious about Reed’s past, but not enough to spoil the ease of our conversation. He tells me about his love for music, all kinds of music, even country music. He especially likes the Zac Brown Band. I think to myself I just might start to love country music as I hear how passionate Reed is about it. We talk about our siblings. I tell him all about Daniel and what a great kid he is. He tells me he has two older half-sisters from his dad’s first marriage. He doesn’t go into great detail though other than his parents are divorced. When we finish, he cleans everything up and plugs in the heating pad and gives me two Advil.
I haven’t done anything, but I already feel tired and ready for more sleep. I can tell Reed is unsure of where he should sleep. I scoot in towards the wall and gesture for him to get in next to me. He seems torn about it.
“What’s wrong? If you don’t want to stay I understa-” Before I can finish he interrupts me.
“No, it’s not that at all. I’m staying. I just wonder if I should sleep on the floor or over in Maggie’s bed. I want you to get better and I don’t want to bother you. Plus… I don’t know if I can keep my hands off you.” I smile at him sheepishly loving his desire for me.
“Get in here. There is no way I’ll sleep if I know you are on the floor or in Mags bed. I need you.” As I finish the words in one smooth movement he is next to me. He hugs me to him and runs his hands through my hair. He has his jeans on still and as subtly as I can I drag my hands down to his hips and link my fingers into the top of his jeans and pull downward.
“You should take these off … so you are comfortable.” I try to smile at him seductively, but he removes my hands. He bites his bottom lip in and takes a deep breath in.
“Katherine.” My name comes off as a warning. “Not a chance.”
“Please.” I bat my eyelashes to emphasize my cause.
“You. Are. Killing. Me.”
“With sugar on top.” I stick my bottom lip out for good measure.
“Not tonight. I care about you and your well-being too much.” The things this guy says to me have my heart on overload, but I know his words are final.
“Ok.” He plants a tender and sweet kiss on my lips. Then he turns me and spoons me from behind wrapping me in a tight embrace. He nuzzles into my neck and buries his face in my hair.
True to his word, Reed wakes me every few hours to check on me. Each time he has me sit up for a moment and does a quick overview of me. He questions me on my symptoms. Then he follows me to the bathroom waiting just outside the door. He has me sip on water throughout the night too. He remains on his best behavior and his hands never roam anywhere inappropriately. Dang.
Chapter 30
The next morning gets off to a rough start with a pounding in my head. I’m frustrated that even though I slept pretty well, it’s intense. Reed doesn’t have class until late morning. Basically Maggie and he have come up with a system for one of them to be with me at all times. I think it’s unnecessary, but they insist. I continue to drink plenty of fluids and eat small meals. Reed wants to go get my prescription filled for pain medication, but I refuse. I take the Advil regularly and it helps more as the day goes on. I am surprised by the amount of sleep my body needs, but I allow myself to do just that. I’m quiet throughout the day because honestly even the light throbbing in the back of my head makes it difficult to carry a conversation.
Maggie sits at her desk doing some reading for one of her classes. She’s quiet and doesn’t push me to engage in any real conversation. Every time she looks at me though I see the worry spread throughout her face. I know there is more she’d like to say to me. Instead she makes sure I take my Advil, adjusts my heating pad and just like Reed she continual reminds me to drink more.
I get up to head into the bathroom and tell her I might take a shower. She asks me to keep the door cracked just in case. I look in the mirror and study my face. For some reason I’m relieved that I don’t really look any different. I’m not sure why, but for some reason I thought I would look different. These last couple days have seemed like weeks, maybe even months long.
Once I’m in the shower and the spray runs through my hair beating into my head the throbbing slips away. Ease and comfort take over my body. I force myself to think about what I need to do to move forward. It’s difficult for me. I can’t seem to wrap my brain around the fact that Kyle may have forced me into sex. I can’t even say or think of the R word. No tears come to my eyes this time. It’s a raw process for me as I think of the way Kyle grabbed at me, slammed his fist at the wall and yelled at me. How could I have been blind to his tendencies? I knew better than anyone how Kyle worked. Kyle was the master at hiding his anger sometimes for months. I’d be fooled into thinking that the Kyle that scared me, called me names and was more than aggressive with me was gone, changed. Eventually that Kyle always showed up. My words to him at the hospital may not have seemed like much, but to me they were. I didn’t cave to him. And if I’m being honest there is a small part of me that wanted to help him from his knees and tell him I would help him change. It was small though and the feeling passed as soon as I saw Reed’s face.
Reed is like my knight in shining armor. I’ve eyed him from a distance for a long time now. It started out with flirtation and then just friends and now a mixture of both. I’m so afraid that he must think of me as weak and ungrounded. I want more of myself, more for him. I feel like half of a person and that is no way to enter a relationship I realize… But I’m greedy and even a little wanton.
I think about my school work and getting to class, but it’s an overwhelming thought. I can’t imagine it right now. I’m still so weak and the throbbing hasn’t given me much of break yet. Sometimes the intensity of it has me down flat. I decide that later I will send another email to my professors that I may need a couple more days.
I get out of the shower this time with no problems. I wrap my hair up in a towel after I change into my clothes. Maggie asks how I feel and I tell her that I actually feel a lot better. She hugs me and I hug her back with equal strength.
“Thank you, Mags. I love you.”
“You know I love you too, girlfriend. I’m just relieved that you are ok. I wish we never let you go into that room with Kyle. I guess I just never realized how… how violent it could get.”
“I know, me neither. I didn’t have good judgment about Kyle.” I pause for a moment and then say, “Ever.” I try not to let the stress of the situation settle on my face, but Maggie knows me well. She pulls me over towards my bed and tucks me in.
“We’ll talk more later. You need to rest… doctor’s orders.” She smiles at me softly. It’s shocking to me, but once again I doze off easily.
The rest of the day seems to fly by with Maggie and Reed alternating in and out of the dorm room. Reed doesn’t spend the night, but stays until I’m just about to go to sleep for the night. Maggie dutifully makes sure I wake every few hours and checks me over.
******
I didn’t sleep as good during the night, but I honestly think it has more to do with Reed not being here than anything. My headache doesn’t seem to be there and it is a wonderful feeling. Although I still feel so weak, tired and just a little off. My concentration seems limited as well. Reed’s schedule is heavier on Tuesday’s and he is only able to come by in the early morning to check on me. Maggie has only one class in the late morning and otherwise spends the day with me in our room. She leaves for her early evening class knowing Reed will be here shortly after. Shortly after Maggie leaves I fall asleep again.
“Hi.” I rub at my eyes and see Reed sitting at my desk reading with my small desk lamp lit low. I scoot up s
o that my back is resting on my pillow against the wall. A yawn escapes me and I stretch my arms out in front of me.
“Hey there, is this too bright?” His voice is smooth and even in the low light I can see a twinkle of blue in his eyes. I bite down on the bottom corner of my lip as I take in how handsome he is. It’s a nice way to wake up that’s for sure.
“No, how long did I sleep for?”
“I was just about to wake you; it’s only been a couple hours. I hated to wake you though because you were breathing so deep… and snoring.” He lets out a snicker and winks at me. I giggle and give him a look of shock.
“No I wasn’t! Wait, was I?” I pick up one of my pillows and toss it at him. In one quick movement he climbs into bed beside me. The twin size bed barely fits us with Reed’s large frame. He tickles me lightly and I squeal.
“You were and I still thought you were adorable.” I’m laughing now and for a moment I forget about everything. It feels good, so good. “Mmm, I like to hear you laughing.”
“I’m so embarrassed,” I say breathlessly.
“You should be.” He teases me and then reaches to latch onto my wrists moving them up over my head. Pushing me softly unto my back he leans down on me and nuzzles into my neck below my ear. He plants a ginger kiss into my neck and then moves to my ear. He pauses, but I feel his lips hesitantly lingering at my ear. “How do you feel? Does your head hurt?”
“Mmm, I feel good right now and my head doesn’t hurt.” I’m craving more of Reed than I thought was possible. I like how I feel right now. I don’t want to feel anything else except this. “Kiss me.” I’m shocked at my forwardness and thankful he can’t see how red I am.
He doesn’t hesitate to kiss my neck more passionately moving back up to my ear lobe. Nibbling lightly, he flicks his tongue and I arch myself up into him. For some reason I love the feeling of my wrists restrained above my head. I can’t imagine that there is anything Reed does that I wouldn’t love. His lips travel down my jawline and then down my throat. Firmly he presses his lips into the base of my throat and then excruciatingly slow he drags his nose and lips back up landing in front of my lips. I lick my lips before I press into his lips. He sucks on my bottom lip and then sweeps his tongue inside my mouth. My insides clench and I press my thighs together. It’s a slow kiss just like I remember and full of more passion than I can ever remember experiencing. Our lips move feverishly with our tongues sliding in and out, over and under exploring all our depths.
At a slow pace Reed slows our kiss down and pulls back. He runs his perfectly structured nose along mine and then kisses my forehead. Releasing my wrists he leans on his side and pulls one of my hands to his mouth. He kisses my pinky and then takes it into his mouth sucking on it. It’s a subtle gesture that turns me on more than I would think should, but I enjoy it.
“Mmmmm,” I rasp out and close my eyes.
“You like that?”
“Mmmm hmmm.” It is all I can manage to let out. I don’t want this moment to slip away. The thought of thinking back on everything that has happened is daunting. I don’t want to face it. Staying here in this moment is perfect. There are too many issues to address and I just … I just want to be here.
“Open your eyes.” I flutter my lids open a fraction and peek up at Reed through my long lashes. “You. Are. So. Beautiful. Gorgeous. I’ve never felt like this about anyone ever before.”
“Thank you,” I say shyly. I’ve had compliments before, but not this intimate. I like it, but I’m not sure how to respond. I bite down on my bottom corner of my lip unsure of what to say. I’d love to tell Reed I think and feel the same, but it seems unfair. It’s unfair for him to feel this way about me when I have so much in the way of this… us… him.
“I don’t want to push you or scare you away, Katherine. I know that this is all complicated. Whatever Kyle has done or did the other night is separate from this right here.” He puts his hand on my heart and then onto his. “I’ll support you in any way I can in terms of dealing with Kyle. I wi-” I have to stop him because he still does not know about my conversation with Officer Larkin. He had left the room like I had asked him to.
“I couldn’t do it.” I cut him off mid-sentence. “I couldn’t press charges or file for a restraining order. I just, I couldn’t do it. I know you probably don’t understand it and think I’m weak. Well, the truth is I am weak, especially when it comes to Kyle.” I am being as open and honest with him as I can be. It’s not easy, but I can’t hide my feelings like I had done so many times with Kyle. Unfortunately, my situation with Kyle did not bring out the best sides of me, but I plan to change that. I know I have to.
“I understand.” He pauses and kisses me delicately on my swollen lips from our earlier kiss. “I can’t say I’ve been in your situation, no one can. But I do understand what it’s like to have history and how it can tie you down to someone. And you couldn’t be more wrong… I don’t see you as weak at all. I see you as strong, beautiful, confident, fun, kind, innocent and … sexy as hell.” I can’t hide my embarrassment by his compliment and I force myself to look into his eyes. I get lost.
“I lose myself when I’m with you. Thank y-you.” I know I am stuttering as I speak openly with him. “You are so good to me and, and I… I just don’t, I just don’t know.”
“Go on, beautiful girl.” I hug him and bury myself into his chest.
“I feel lost; I’ve lost part of myself during this long, drawn out relationship with Kyle. It’s not fair to you. You don’t have, I mean, you don’t know the right me.” I suddenly feel awkward talking as if I should assume we are a couple even though I very clearly heard him refer to himself as my boyfriend. We have not slept together and yet everything feels more intimate than anything I had ever done with Kyle. I feel closer to him. Because I feel closer to Reed I feel horribly guilty at what I have to offer him. I do not feel strong, beautiful, confident, fun, kind, innocent and … sexy as hell. I know I can though. The closer I get to Reed the more I feel those things. I also know that I can’t truly move forward until I address the many issues in my life. Including my mom. I deserve that and so does Reed if we are to be more. For the first time in a long time, I want to learn to address the issues in my life and I can only figure that this is a positive move in the right direction.
“I’ll take any version of you I can get Kate. Period. You forget I have a past too. Mine isn’t perfect either. But I want to move on with you, move passed the past. You don’t see how I see you. How I’ve seen you since you got here. You deserve better than Kyle for sure and I’ll be the first to admit that you deserve someone better than me. I’ve got my flaws and I know it’s not fair of me to ask you to take a chance with me… but God I’ve been trying and I’ve just been waiting for you to notice me. Now that I’ve gotten closer to you I’ll take whatever I can get. You mean so much to me now. It’s been a constant growing desire.”
Kissing the top of my head he continues, “I don’t know your whole history with Kyle, but what I do know and what I’ve seen … it’s enough. It’s enough. The thought of what he’s done to you and what he almost did to you...” He clears his throat and then continues. “I should have pushed harder for you to wait to talk to him. I’m sorry.”
“Reed, what happened is not even in the slightest way your fault. I’m not even sure I believe myself as I say this, but it was Kyle’s fault. And you mean a lot to me too; and I did notice you from the first day I saw you at the party at your hou-” I stop myself as the door to the room opens and Maggie comes spilling in with her back pack and some carry out bags. We move into a more acceptable position and Reed asks if it’s ok to make the light brighter.
Planting a wet kiss on my ear he whispers, “I want to hear more all about you noticing me later.” He winks and gives me one of his delicious smiles before jumping to help Maggie.
******
Maggie picked up dinner from Panera for all of us. I see Reed pass her money for the dinner that he insists she take.
We thank him and the three of us sit to eat avoiding the elephant in the room. Maggie keeps the conversation flowing though. After we finish eating, Reed decides to head over to his place. I tell him that he doesn’t need to return, that I will be fine, but he insists. I can’t lie, I am relieved. If I’m being needy and dependent on him right now I don’t care. I won’t allow myself to do that to him for much longer. I sit on my bed crisscross style enjoying the quiet in my head. My body still aches and is weak, but the throbbing is gone for the moment.
“Ok, two things. First you have to call your dad and I am encouraging you to tell him what has happened. Second, everyone is dying to see you… they want to stop in. What do you think?” Maggie faces me with all her normal sass in her voice.
“I feel good and want to see everyone. I just don’t want to talk about it with everyone, ya know?”
“Yes, I think they know you well enough to not bring it up directly. Now what about your dad? He’s worried, Kate. I’m sure he’s called your cell, which has been dead since middle of the night Saturday. I only answered one of his calls here, but I can tell he needs to talk to you. Now he’s called here a couple more times and I’ve ignored the calls. Sweetie, you have to tell him… or I will.” She mumbles the last part, but continues to look into my eyes.
“I agree. I will call him. I think I need his help more than I would like to admit. This is just so hard for me. I feel lost, torn and embarrassed about this whole mess.” Maggie moves over to sit beside me and puts her arm around my shoulders and lays her head on my shoulder.
“You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You will be ok and this eventually will all be a distant memory. It’s going to get better and easier. And you will come out on top.” I lay my head on top of hers and we sit there for several minutes in silence.
“How about that Reed?” Maggie giggles and lightens the mood. “I think I love him, Kate, especially for you. Who knew?” I giggle and smile as I think about our earlier kiss.
The Perfect Distraction (Volume 1) Page 19
