by D. Kelly
Without a second thought, Connor reaches into his pocket and hands Hailey a dollar, and she smiles gleefully and runs off to play. Connor pulls Jake in for a hug and congratulates him.
“Okay, first of all, what the hell did we miss? We were only gone for two days! We had to come home early because Maryanne had morning sickness which we learned yesterday is really all day sickness. As much as she loves us, it was too much for her.”
“Maryanne is having a baby? That’s fantastic news!”
Jess nods.
“It really is. She was so worried she wouldn’t be able to get pregnant since she’s almost forty. We’re both really excited. I finally get a little cousin and she’ll be able to play with my kids.”
“She?” Kate questions with a laugh. “She just found out, so I highly doubt the sex is known yet.”
Jess flips her hair and rolls her eyes. “But I know, Kate, and that’s all that matters.”
“So where did you guys buy a house?” Jess asks, turning her attention back to me.
“About halfway between here and Mike’s house. It’s across the street from the park and it’s perfect.”
“You bought the park house? You lucky bi— I mean, girl. Sorry, but I’m not paying Hailey. I’d rather watch my words. It’s better to get in the habit, anyway. When are you moving in?”
“Fourteen days or less,” Jake says, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around me to rest on my belly.
“How the heck did you pull that off? No, wait… never mind. I sense a Houston checkbook at work here. I’m familiar with that process. Connor has it down to a science.”
“And you love me all the more for it,” he calls out loudly from the couch, waking Zayden. Jake releases me and picks up his nephew. Looking at the two of them together is like looking into the future. I hope Jaxson gets the Houston good looks like Zayden. He looks just like his daddy and his uncle.
“You’ve got the look,” Misty says as she comes up next to me.
“What look is that?”
“The one that shows you falling deeper in love with your husband because you know he’s going to be an amazing father.”
“I’m not sure how much deeper I can fall but it seems like every day lately I’m falling more and more in love with him. Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot,” she says and I nod my head toward the door to the back patio. After I sit on the swing and get Hope adjusted on my lap, I pin Misty with my eyes.
“Why won’t you give Mike an answer? I know it’s probably none of my business, but you’re killing him.”
“I’m scared,” she confesses.
“Of what? Misty, he adores you and your children.” Hope reaches for Misty’s face and pulls her close for a kiss, a slobbery one. Misty laughs and kisses her back and then wipes her face.
“At first, I just wanted to get to know him again and after he found out about Hailey, things started moving so quickly. Then, in the blink of an eye, I was pregnant with Grant. He’s an amazing father and he loves me, I know he does, but sometimes I wonder…”
“If he’ll leave you?”
She nods and begins whispering, “This is going to sound so stupid because in my heart I know it’s not true, but what if him and Kate decide they made a mistake? Where will that leave me? At least if we’re not married it won’t be as hard.”
So she’s not handling the Mike/Kate relationship as well as I thought. Interesting. We need to fix this.
“First of all, if you think a piece of paper is going to make it less hard to break up, you’re fooling yourself. Love doesn’t live on paper; it lives in your heart.”
Her shoulders slump and she whispers, “I know.”
“And secondly, that won’t happen. As someone who has heard confessions from both Mike and Kate, I can assure you they are never going to be more than friends.”
“Do you really think so?”
“I do. He loves you. Mike told Jake even if he and Kate had gotten back together, once you came back into his life, it would have been over. You’re it for him.”
She’s surprised and I continue, “And Kate told me essentially the same thing this morning about Daniel. Mike and Kate have something special and most definitely unique to them, and it works for them. But neither of them want something other than what they already have.”
“Oh.”
“Are you jealous?”
She shakes her head. “I’m not. I know Mike loves me, but I’m just worried about the what ifs.”
“I can understand that, but I can also tell you from experience you can ‘what if’ yourself to death. The real question is what if you continue to worry and let your happiness slip by because you’re afraid of the what ifs? Give him an answer and be honest. I know you’ve mentioned before you never want a big wedding, so tell him that. Mike will go with whatever you want, you just have to tell him what that is.”
“Do you think if I asked Mike for it to just be us and the kids he would be receptive to that? I’m a private person and I’ve never wanted an audience at my wedding.”
“You know, the beauty of a wedding is it’s your day and you can have it however you want and nobody gets to be offended.”
“Thanks, April,” she says with a smile as Jake walks out with Zayden.
“Anytime,” I answer as she vacates her spot on the swing and Jake sits down.
“We really need to get one of these for the new house.”
“We’ll have one in about two months and I can’t wait,” he answers lightly.
“Jerk. You know I mean the swing.”
“I know we’ll get one of these, too, but I can’t wait to see you with Jaxson in your arms.”
Kate busts through the door and does a happy dance while holding a now non-drinkable beer.
“That’s his name? It’s adorable! I swear I wasn’t eavesdropping. I was bringing you the beer you asked for. Eeek! I finally know his name.”
“I should have known better than to say it in this house. You all have too many people underfoot.”
Jake doesn’t seem the least bit irritated and neither am I. It’s sort of nice having it out there and not having to watch my step anymore. We’ve been calling him Jaxson for months, so changing how we talk in front of everyone else has been a pain in the ass.
“I’ll keep it quiet if you really want me to.”
“Nah, it’s okay. We’ll tell them, I’m tired of keeping secrets,” Jake answers.
Wow, that’s surprising considering he was the one who wanted to keep it secret in the first place.
“Thanks for the beer, but I’ll pass. We have to leave in a few minutes, anyway. You should go offer that one to Connor,” he tells her with a devious look in his eye.
“I should but I don’t want it spewing all over my carpet, so I’ll just put it back in the fridge,” she says as she walks back inside.
Hope has curled up on my shoulder and she’s barely keeping her eyes open. Zayden has been cuddled up in Jake’s arms, quietly taking in the view. They’re such sweet babies.
“Can you promise me something before we go see Mia?” he asks softly.
“What would that be?”
“I know you only want two, possibly three kids, but if we adopt Mia, will you promise me we’ll try again?”
This is something I haven’t even really thought much about.
“April, I need this. I need to see you, just as you are right now, with our daughter. I want to be able to have a little girl who looks like us, for Jaxson to have a sister who looks like him. I’ll keep an open mind about Mia regardless, but I need this for me. I can’t miss out on this, April, I just can’t.”
“You don’t have to miss out, Jake. I’ll do anything for you, I want to make your dreams come true, too, you know.”
Suddenly, the back door opens and everyone is now surrounding us. Except for Lucas; he jumped up next to me and laid his head right on my stomach.
“You know you can’t tell Kate and no
t tell the rest of us,” Jess begins.
“Actually, I didn’t tell Kate… she overheard a private conversation,” Jake retorts just to mess with her.
“Dude, you need to spill or Jess is going to keep me up all night whining and guessing.”
“I don’t whine, Connor, I pontificate.”
Mike pulls her in his arms and gently tells her, “I don’t think you want to tell people you pontificate anything, ever again. Stick with whining… it usually gets you what you want.”
“You’re a jerk,” she says, punching him.
“But I’m your favorite jerk,” he replies, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose.
“Yeah, you are.”
“Look, halftime only lasts so long, so are you going to spill or what?” Daniel asks as he picks up Hailey and puts her on his shoulders.
“Go Chargers!” she yells then giggles as Daniel high-fives her.
“Jaxson Noah Houston,” I finally answer, putting them out of their misery.
“So you’ll call him Jack?” Connor wants to know.
“No it’s J-A-X-S-O-N. So, if anything, we’ll call him Jax.”
“Jax is an awesome name, much better than Jack. If you named him Jack you’d have to name the next one Jill,” Conner says with a smirk.
Jake is about to knock Connor upside the head but instead, I gently grab his hand.
“Can you guys take the babies? We have an appointment we’re going to be late for if we don’t get out of here.”
“Sure you don’t want to take them? I could use a night of sleep,” Connor grumbles.
“Two weeks, Connor. Help us get settled when we move in and I’ll keep them for an entire weekend for you guys. Maybe you can work on giving them some siblings.”
“Oh, I try for that all the time but Jess insists on taking the pill. One day my super seed will break past the barriers of her birth control. It did last time. But I’ll totally take you up on that weekend,” he says, reaching for Hope as Kate takes Zayden from Jake.
“Daddy, what’s super seed?” Hailey asks from Daniel’s shoulders. Mike lifts her off and puts her on the ground, snatching Grant from Misty.
“Ask your mommy, Hailey. Girls know all about it.”
After placing a kiss on the top of Luke’s head, Jake helps me up. Mike follows us into the house and before anyone else can come in, I turn to him and whisper, “Ask Misty again tonight, I think she’s ready to answer you.”
Mike’s smile could light up the darkest night sky. “Thanks, April, I’ll be sure to do just that. Where are you guys going, anyway?”
“Call Jake later and ask him. I’m sure he’ll be ready to talk to someone about it. See you later.”
“Later.”
Jake
As April programs the address into the GPS, I’m thinking about Connor. He doesn’t look good. Although he was his usually cocky self, he’s obviously exhausted. I need to figure out a way to talk to him about work soon. Or maybe I should just circumvent the problem and talk to my dad about hiring two more people ASAP. Hell, maybe I should do both. We need the extra help with all the new accounts Connor has brought in. With Jaxson’s birth looming in the horizon, the chance we might be taking in Mia, and the move, telecommuting is probably going to be my only option.
It’s an option we should have insisted Connor take when he took the job. The point of a family-run business is for it to be run by us, but the unrealistic expectations we’ve put on Connor are crazy. This is our fault just as much as it is his. He’s trying, and thinking about the drive I’ll have to start making—the same drive Connor makes every single day—has made me realize just how much he’s gone above and beyond. If a little extra work falls on my head now, it’s a small price to pay.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Connor.”
“He looks bad, doesn’t he? Do you think he’s okay?”
“I was just thinking the same thing. I’m going to fix this, April. It’s all obviously taking a toll on him.”
“Kate mentioned earlier Connor had been trying to do too much and it was affecting him. I had no idea. How did you not notice at work?”
Great, she talked to Kate.
Pulling the car over so I can focus my attention, I turn to her. “Did you talk to Kate about this, April?” I’m trying to stay calm but I specifically told her the other day she couldn’t discuss this with anyone.
“Not exactly, she more like guessed?” She isn’t meeting my gaze.
“Damnit, April! This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you. Fuck!” I scream, slamming my hand against the steering wheel.
“She was asking questions, Jake, and I wasn’t going to lie to her.”
“Oh, so you just throw me under the bus. Thanks,” I reply sarcastically.
“It wasn’t like that and I would never do anything to hurt you. God, Jake, I just want our lives to go back to normal,” she says with a sniffle.
Great, now she’s going to cry.
Count to ten and breathe.
“She won’t say anything, but for what it’s worth, she’s been trying to get Connor to take a full-time job at Lila’s Place. He refuses. Connor thinks he can do it all.”
“But he can’t and that’s the fucking point.”
“Well, you need to make it your responsibility to talk to him. I know you didn’t want to but he’s falling apart in front of our eyes.”
“I see that now. Honestly, he didn’t look that bad on Friday. Maybe the twins kept him up over the weekend and he let Jess sleep.”
“Maybe…”
My anger dissipates because I know this is on me.
“I’ll fix it, babe. I promise.”
Pulling back out onto the street, the GPS announces we’re only five minutes away. My palms begin to sweat. I can’t believe I’m nervous to meet a little girl.
You’re afraid your life is about to change, of course you’re going to be nervous.
The neighborhood is nice; the houses are on the smaller side but all are well-maintained. All in all, it’s only a thirty-minute drive from the new house to here. After I park the car, April turns to me.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”
Bringing her hand to my lips, I kiss her softly. “I’m sure. Let’s go.”
“Hi!” a little girl calls out from the porch. I don’t think it’s the same girl from the mall the other day, though.
“Hi, Hannah!” April cheerfully greets her.
Hannah looks to be about five or six. She’s cute, a little chubby, with blonde hair and green eyes. She’s playing with Barbies and looks to be happy. I wonder what her story is—why she’s here.
“Mrs. Robinson is inside while Mia finishes her shower. She said to tell you they’ll be out in a few minutes if you got here first.”
April sits on the step next to her and talks to her about her dolls while I observe. From what April told me yesterday, it’s just the three of them here right now. Considering Mia has lived across the street, I’m not sure Hannah is going to be too happy to lose her best friend.
“You’re big and tall,” Hannah says, suddenly looking at me.
“I am. I used to play football in college.”
“My daddy was big like you, too.” I wonder what happened to him but I don’t have to wonder for long; she’s very precocious, like Hailey.
“He died last year in a fire. He was a firefighter. Mrs. Robinson says he’s a hero.”
“It sure sounds like Mrs. Robinson is right.”
“What’s your name?”
“I’m Jake and April is my wife.” She glances from me to April and back again.
“You’re almost a daddy, too.”
“Yes, I am, and I can’t wait.”
“Waiting is hard. I’ve been waiting for new parents for over a year. Mrs. Robinson says ‘The best things come to those who wait.’ So I’m pretty sure my new mommy and daddy will be really good.”
Fuck.
How the
hell does April do this all day, every day?
Mrs. Robinson comes to the door. “Hannah, it’s your turn for a shower now. Mia will be out here in just a minute. She’s putting her shoes on.”
“No rush,” April tells her sweetly.
“Will you still be here when I get out of the shower?”
“We should be.”
“Good,” Hannah says, turning to me. “Can you watch my dolls? They need a daddy to protect them while I’m gone.”
Talk about projecting feelings. This little girl just wants to be loved and protected.
“It would be my pleasure,” I tell her as she gives me a quick hug and runs inside. That can’t be normal. Kids don’t attach to people like that so soon, do they?
“Wow.” The word comes out so softly, I’m not even sure I said it out loud.
“I know,” April concurs.
“These are just two little girls. There are kids like this all over the world. How does this even happen?” I wonder aloud.
“Unfortunate circumstances most of the time. Poverty, lack of birth control, lack of familial support, addiction, you name it. It feels good to make a difference in even one child’s life. Then you think about the millions of others out there you can’t help and it sort of takes that good feeling and flushes it down the toilet.”
“You’re amazing. No wonder you love your job.”
“Yes, I do, but I also hate it. I’m beginning to feel burnt out on sadness when I have no way to change it.”
This might be the first time I’ve ever heard her talk negatively about her work. I’d never be able to do it.
“You’re the strongest person I know. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes and I can’t focus my eyes anywhere but on the memorial set-up in front of the house across the street. I can only imagine how hard it must be for Mia to come out here and see that each day—such a constant reminder of sadness.
“Hi, April!” Mia exclaims excitedly as she bounds outside the house. She’s wearing a light blue dress with white flowers, carrying a stuffed polar bear, and sporting black Chucks. I’m guessing the Chucks were her choice.
