“He was warning the others away,” he said against her skin, and despite his obvious effort to control it, his tone was dark and dangerous. “Claiming you as a mate.”
Renee’s breath caught in horror. The thought of being bound forever to a vicious monster like Kalen froze her blood. “He can do that? He can claim me, make me be his mate—whether I wanted him or not?”
Eli’s mouth stilled on her skin. He didn’t reply. She frowned. If she didn’t know better she would have sworn he was holding his breath.
Alarm made her heart skip a beat. Did his silence mean it was true? Anger rose hot in her chest, drowning her fear and forcing away her confusion. “He had no right!” she cried. “How dare he? Just because he found me—”
Eli suddenly rolled her onto her back and cut off her words with a searing kiss. Her anger fled instantly. How could anyone else claim her when all Eli had to do was touch her and she melted? She clung to him, wanting to lose herself in the magic they shared and forget this entire strange conversation he’d insisted upon.
But Eli pulled back after only a moment. He pressed his cheek against hers, hiding his face when she desperately wanted to look into his eyes. “You have not been claimed, little one,” he whispered, his words hoarse with an emotion she couldn’t name. “The choice of a mate is yours and always will be. I swear no one will take this from you against your will. No one.”
She didn’t reply. Instead she kissed his throat, her panic fading at his reassurance. She couldn’t imagine anything worse than being bound to a man she hadn’t chosen, a man she didn’t love.
A man who wasn’t Eli.
Eli sighed and kissed her once more before resting his forehead against hers. “I’ve kept you here longer than I should,” he told her softly. “You don’t need my protection any longer. You need a safe place of your own, Renee.”
She gaped at him in dismay. Lying here in his arms, her lips tingling from his kisses, her body still replete with the power of their lovemaking, it was the last thing she had expected. “You want me to go?” she asked, unable to keep the pain from her voice.
He groaned and tightened his arms around her. “I want you to have choices. I don’t want you to stay because I forced you,” he whispered, his voice almost inaudible. “Not because you have no other options.”
She didn’t understand. Eli wanted her. She knew he did. Why was he doing this now? Renee wanted to kiss him, to remind him of what they had shared last night, but he pulled away before she got the chance. He drew in a shuddering breath as she gave in to the urge to run her fingertips down his chest.
“You tempt me past all good sense,” he said, bringing her hands to his lips to nibble her fingers. Her heart raced. “But we have much to do tonight and we can no longer linger abed.”
Renee frowned at his retreat. Whatever the point of that strange conversation had been, he’d apparently made it and was ready to go on with the night’s business. She didn’t know quite how to take it. Was he rejecting her or not? Last night he had told her what she was certain he had never told another living soul, trusting her completely. Now he was urging her out of his bed and out of his home. The man gave new meaning to the phrase “mixed signals,” even as his words and his obvious reaction to her touch gave her back some of her confidence.
But not all of it. Did Eli want her or not?
She refused to leave things this way. She bit her lip and glanced up at him from beneath her eyelashes before rolling onto her knees and inching closer, determined to find the answer.
Something in her eyes must have given her away because Eli looked at her warily. A shiver ran through his body. “Cease whatever it is you’re planning, little one.”
Her smile was frankly sexy as she edged closer still. Oh, yes, he wanted her. “You have no idea what I’m planning,” she purred, leaning and flicking her tongue along the line of his pulse before moving to his chest. “Are you trying to tell me you don’t want to find out?”
His breath came faster. “I think you’re going to make me forget all my good intentions,” he groaned as she trailed kisses over his chest.
“You think right,” she agreed against his skin, thrilling that he obviously craved her touch. She bent suddenly to press hot, open-mouthed kisses along his bare thigh, moving slowly upward, hearing his breath catch and laughing low in her throat.
Eli released her wrists to bury his hands in her hair and pull her away from her goal. “Would you have me beg for mercy?”
She laughed. “Well,” she said slowly, pretending to consider the question. When he growled, she laughed again. “I’ll give you mercy,” she teased as her fingers closed around his cock. “But not right now.”
His entire body shook as she stroked him. She reveled in her power over him, in this proof of how she affected him. “Renee, we can’t—”
“Hush,” she commanded as she pushed him back onto the bed. In one fluid move, she straddled his waist and slid down over him, sheathing him to the hilt. His hands found her hips as they both moaned from the glorious sensation. She rocked slowly, her head thrown back, ignoring his attempts to spur her to a faster pace.
This time she was in charge, and she refused to be rushed.
She ran her hands along his broad shoulders and down his arms before grasping his wrists. She pulled his hands from her waist and slid them up her body to her breasts. “Touch me,” she whispered as she rode him. “I want your hands on me.”
He shuddered. “I can deny you nothing,” he rasped.
Renee gloried in the moment. Every cell in her body was alive with feeling. Burning desire tempted her to move faster but she only bit her lip and kept the same slow, deep rhythm, determined to savor every inch of him, every second of their loving. He was fiery hot inside her, filling her so completely there was no room in her heart or mind for anything but Eli. His hands were magic as he caressed her. He let her set the pace even though she felt his tension as he fought the urge to take control.
The knowledge enflamed her still further. She couldn’t imagine Eli ever willingly submitting to anyone, yet he gave her such intimate power over him. She tightened her inner muscles around him as she took him deep inside her again.
Eli gasped and thrust upward. “Sweet heaven, do that again,” he breathed, and his entire body shook when she complied.
Triumph surged through her at his reaction. Tension curled deep inside her and she could no longer deny the urge to move faster. His muscles clenched and his jaw tightened, but still he didn’t try to take control from her. She couldn’t resist bending to run her lips along the taut muscles of his chest and she thrilled at his breathless groan. Watching his pleasure was a sensual delight she had never imagined and she felt her fangs press against her lips as her own passion rose to match it.
His hands suddenly left her breasts to cup her throat. His thumbs caressed her pounding pulses and his breath quickened. Renee scraped her teeth over the heavy muscles of his chest. His hot, masculine scent filled all her senses. She nipped his skin, the urge to taste him again almost overwhelming.
But even as his muscles clenched and his heart pounded in her ears, Eli stopped her. His hands dove into her hair and pulled her mouth away from his skin before she had a chance to bite him. She opened her eyes to find him watching her with such intensity she felt it through her entire body, but his mind was closed to her. The sheer erotic inferno of his gaze sent her careening out of control toward the edge and she arched her back, riding him hard and fast as the fire claimed them both.
* * *
Eli caught her tightly against him when it was over, reeling with mingled relief and ecstasy. His heart pounded both from the incredible pleasure she gave him and the effort of resisting the instinct that had almost destroyed his honor and control.
“Why do I let you make me forget myself like that?” he whispered into her hair, his voice husky and teasing. “I hadn’t intended to make love to you. I had very definitely decided not to. Now look at us, st
ill in bed when we should be busy elsewhere.”
She lifted her head and gave him a smile so sexy, it was all he could do not to roll her beneath him and take her again. His plans for the night seemed less important with each passing moment.
“Oh, sorry,” she said, sounding anything but. “Was I supposed to be listening to you?”
He shook his head in mock-exasperation and she laughed again. Her joy seeped through him and settled like a warm breeze in his soul. Had anyone ever treated him this way, teasing him, disobeying him, handling him so lightly? He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, savoring every second of it. Had anyone told him a month ago that a woman’s affectionate disrespect would make his heart swell with happiness, he would have laughed and called them a liar.
How wrong he would have been.
But reality was intruding even in this perfect moment. Eli sighed and held her tight for one moment more before easing free of her sweet embrace and sitting up on the edge of the bed. He couldn’t keep the regret from his voice. “Unfortunately, we really do have much to do tonight.”
Renee smiled and stretched blissfully. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from her lovely, lithe body, a beautiful offering on his bed. Hot blood rushed to his groin despite the shattering lovemaking they had just shared. It seemed the normal limitations of the male body did not apply when it came to this woman.
Her gaze caressed him and she raised an eyebrow. “Not all of you wants to go,” she observed, her eyes twinkling.
He shook his head at her audacity. “The parts that are capable of coherent thought recognize the necessity of it.”
She sat up and leaned against him for a moment, pressing her breasts against his bare back and sending heat spiraling dangerously through him. “There are still some parts capable of coherent thought? Hmm, I’ll have to work on my technique. I must not have done something right.”
Eli laughed in spite of his desire as she rose and padded toward his bathroom. “Woman, you’re insatiable!”
She tossed a glance over her shoulder and caught him eyeing her bare backside with more than passing interest. “And you’re a paragon of restraint yourself,” she shot back, humor glittering in her tone and her eyes.
You have no idea, Eli thought ruefully. She didn’t know the vicious battle he’d fought as she’d ridden him to ecstasy. She hadn’t the faintest clue how close he’d come to doing the unforgivable. “You inspire me to excess,” he said instead, meaning every word.
Renee laughed. “Oh, how silly of me not to realize it’s all my fault.”
He shook his head again and pointed imperiously to the bathroom. “To the shower with you, temptress,” he commanded.
She laughed again at his bossy tone as she opened the door to the bathroom. She tried to draw him into the shower with her but he refused, though not without difficulty. He’d managed to resist the nearly overpowering desire to complete their bond once. He wasn’t certain he could do so again.
He dressed as she bathed, trying not to think of her naked in his shower. Trying not to imagine her gorgeous body sleek and wet. Trying not to picture his hands sliding over her, soaping every sweet inch of her skin. Trying to convince himself he was glad he wasn’t in there with her, that he hadn’t given in to the temptation.
He failed miserably.
It would have been far too dangerous. He turned and walked to her bedroom to find fresh clothes for her, needing to distance himself before he lost control completely. She would never know how close he’d come to bonding with her against her will just now. Her outraged reaction to the Outcast demanding first right to her as a mate echoed in his head, bringing with it a volatile mixture of rage and shame.
The thought of the Outcast attempting to force such a thing on Renee made his blood boil. Eli’s eyes narrowed. Kalen might not know it yet, but he was a dead man.
Then he hung his head and sighed. He was well aware of his own hypocrisy.
She still didn’t know. He’d intended to tell her tonight but for the first time in his long life, he’d given in to cowardice. He rubbed a hand over his face wearily. The thought of being claimed without her consent had horrified her, and he hadn’t been able to reassure her it wasn’t possible. It was, as he himself had well proved. When she’d turned to him with such passion and trust after he’d told her what Kalen had tried to do, he hadn’t been able to face her condemnation once she found out that he was no better. Would she still try to convince him he wasn’t an Outcast once she knew what he’d done to her?
No. Of course not. How could she? She would look at him in hatred and run as far from him as she could. He would never again taste her passion or feel her trust after she learned the truth, and in his heart, he couldn’t blame her. He’d be alone again and he wasn’t sure he could stand it.
Tonight he’d been a coward, unwilling to let her go quite yet, compounding his sins until they threatened to bury him.
When Renee emerged with her long hair wrapped in a towel and her body enveloped in his enormous bathrobe, Eli thought he had never seen any woman look sexier. He ached for her. She smiled at him as she accepted the bundle of clothing he’d retrieved for her—the plainest cotton lingerie he’d been able to find, her loosest pair of jeans, and a sweatshirt big enough to fall halfway to her knees. “Are we trying to remove temptation?” she asked sweetly, humor dancing in her eyes.
He didn’t even bother trying to lie. “Desperately.”
Renee laughed and carried the clothing into the bathroom. When she emerged a few moments later, Eli knew he’d failed. Instead of hiding her body, the baggy clothes made her look like a pixie—an adorable, beautiful, and very desirable pixie. He let out his breath in a resigned sigh.
“It’s no use. You’re still too damn sexy.”
She raised an eyebrow doubtfully and plucked at the baggy sweatshirt. “Do you have a history of insanity you forgot to mention to me?”
He reached out and caught her hand. “Not a history,” he said, grinning wickedly, “but definitely a future of it if you stick around.” It was only the truth. She had no idea what she did to him.
When she glanced back at the bed, he groaned and dragged her out of the bedroom. Maybe she had some idea. “No, no, no. You are absolutely not going to distract me again. This is important.”
Renee grinned at him. “You do realize you just challenged me, don’t you?”
He quickened his step as he pulled her down the hall after him. “I realize it’s not necessary to challenge you,” he retorted. “Have you always been this insatiable?”
She laughed as they stopped in the entryway. “Only with you,” she teased with an impish smile, and his heart leapt with pleasure. “You have no one to blame.”
Her laughter filled his mind as he dissolved them into mist. Chicken.
I only fight battles I can win, he shot back as he guided them through the fissure.
Oh, good, that means you’ll never argue with me, she replied sweetly. He couldn’t help laughing. What’s so important? Renee asked as they burst through the crack and into the dark cemetery.
Eli brought them back to human form and cupped her face in his hands. “I don’t want you to ever come to me again in desperation because you have nowhere else to go,” he said, his eyes and tone suddenly solemn. Renee forgot her sensual teasing entirely. “You are always welcome in my home, but it is time you had your own.”
Some of the wild joy that had filled her after his offhand comment about her staying with him ebbed away. “You mean you’re making sure I don’t have any excuse to turn to the Outcasts again.”
Eli shook his head, his eyes never leaving hers. “No. This has nothing to do with the Outcasts, Renee. It’s about what’s happening between us. If you come to me, I want you to come freely—not because I acted as your sire, not because you have no other resting place, not because you’re in danger.” His thumbs caressed her cheeks. “You should never come because you need something. Not my protection, not my home. Yo
u will always have those.”
He was sending her away. He was truly kicking her out, and no matter what he said, she knew he was still thinking about his “curse”.
“Eli, I won’t turn. I won’t. You don’t have to do this. I came to you freely last night, I swear it.”
He brushed her cheek with gentle fingers. “That’s exactly why I have to do this,” he corrected her softly. “I’ve been your entire world since the night you were Changed. It can’t continue, not like this. Now come. We have a full night’s work to accomplish and less than a full night left in which to do it.”
She tried to smile even though she felt like shaking him for his stubbornness. “And you’re complaining?”
Instead of answering, he pulled her fully into his arms and kissed her, and he let neither their unromantic surroundings nor the urgency of the night’s tasks keep him from doing a thorough job. Only when they were both breathless did he pull away. Without another word, he turned them to mist again and took her into the air.
More mixed signals. She was actually starting to feel nostalgic for the times when he wouldn’t answer her at all.
Where are we going? Renee asked as they left the cemetery and Eli guided them west. The streets were unfamiliar to her. She hadn’t lived in the city long before she’d become a vampire and she’d never been in this area.
There is a home out here that you might like, he replied. If you do, I’ll help you secure it against the day and teach you to weave spells to make it impervious to attack. I’ll teach you an incantation which will make it impossible for any to approach you. He paused. Even me.
She caught her breath in surprise. He was giving her a home of her own, a real house? It was more than she’d ever had, and she didn’t want it. Not like this.
Don’t bother. I won’t use it.
I’m going to teach you anyway, he said stubbornly, clearly thinking she referred to the spell. You might need it someday.
Amelia Elias - [Guardian's League 02] - Outcast Page 20
