Red flames danced before his vision as he struggled to control his fury. He didn’t want to imagine what Renee had been through before he had found her. There was no doubt that if she had taken Kalen’s blood in that alley, he would have forced the merging of body and mind on her. He thought of Kalen’s quick death and wished he’d made the vile beast suffer more.
“No, little one, a true bond is not made like that,” Eli said only when he was certain his voice wouldn’t quake with rage. He brushed a stray hair from her cheek and took a deep breath. “But there is a blood exchange,” he murmured, watching her carefully for any sign of her emotions. “Three exchanges, each made while joined in body and mind. Do you understand what I’m telling you, Renee?”
Color flooded her cheeks. She raised her shocked gaze to his at last but when she opened her mouth to speak, no words came. All she could do was stare.
After an endless moment, Eli had to break the dreadful silence. “I was wrong,” he murmured, squeezing her hands tight. “I was wrong to put you in this position. The first time it happened, I was so overwhelmed by what I felt when we came together I hardly knew what I was doing. But afterward—” He let out a long sigh, looking with shadowed eyes at the couch on which she sat. “I have no excuse, Renee. I knew it was wrong and still I did it.”
Emotion came into her eyes at last, darkening them to amber. “That’s why you gave me the house,” she whispered. “It really wasn’t about the Outcasts. You didn’t want me here anymore, did you?”
“I knew, if you stayed with me, we’d complete the third exchange,” he admitted. “I couldn’t allow that. You didn’t know what it meant. I had to let you go and give you the chance to make your own choices while you still could.”
She looked down slowly, as if the movement was difficult. “I understand.”
The pain in her voice cut him to the soul. “Forgive me,” he implored, rising on his knees and cupping her face in his hands. She nodded silently, still looking down at her lap. He sought for anything something that might ease the pain radiating from her.
“It isn’t too late. I didn’t lie to you when I said you haven’t been claimed. You are free to choose any man you desire. Nothing has been done that cannot be undone.” The reassurance was like ashes on his tongue. He had to force the next words out. “You are not yet my bondmate, Renee.”
Renee looked up at him and touched his face gently. “It’s all right, Eli,” she whispered as though she were the one reassuring him. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I’ll go. You’re right, I’ll be fine on my own. You don’t need to worry about me anymore.”
Eli didn’t let her get to her feet. He couldn’t. For thousands of years, he’d been alone and he’d known from the start that Renee would leave him alone again, but he still couldn’t just stand aside and let her walk away. The thought of watching her live her life from a distance was unbearable.
“You won’t stay?” he asked, then could have bitten his tongue out for the words. He had never begged anyone for anything in his entire existence.
But never had he been in the position of watching the woman he loved leave him.
To hell with his pride. If ever there was a time for begging, this was it.
Renee looked up sharply, surprised. Everything he had told her had made sense, until that. This…this sounded like he wanted her to stay.
But that made no sense at all. Why would he have given her a house, left her alone, told her all this if not to gently ease her out of his life? Yes, he’d said he loved her when she’d been near death, but after she’d heard his story, she knew he would’ve done anything to save her. Eli felt like he’d failed so many before her, he would’ve been frantic to save her. He knew she loved him. What better way to motivate her to hang on than to say he felt the same?
It was a childish fantasy to believe it was true. He was a god. No matter that he would never return to Olympus, he couldn’t stop being what he was. Saying he was out of her league was the understatement of the millennia. She was just an ordinary woman who had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. He’d been kind to her, patient and indulgent, but now it was getting out of hand. She couldn’t blame him. How could any mere woman be a god’s consort?
But he was watching her so closely, not bothering to hide the turmoil in his eyes, his hands gentle on her face. He’d already saved her life. Why would he keep up the charade now?
“I don’t understand,” she managed, unable to find any other words through her whirling thoughts.
Eli leaned forward until his mouth was a breath from hers. “I swore I would not take your choice,” he whispered. “Choose to stay with me.”
His mouth was gentle, persuasive, tasting her as though he was afraid it would be the last time and determined to memorize her. She closed her eyes and let herself be swept away, forgetting her confusion, forgetting this was impossible.
Still, when he pulled away, reality tried to intrude again. “You’re a god.”
Eli smiled down at her, his breath coming as fast as hers, but his gaze was still tense. “Was that a comment on my kiss or a genuine concern?” he asked with a hint of his former humor, and she smiled in spite of herself. He caressed her cheek and went serious again. “Yes, little one, I’m a god. It didn’t frighten you before. Does it now?”
She shook her head at once. Nothing could make her fear him. “That’s not what I meant,” she tried to explain. “You can’t possibly want someone like me. You should have someone perfect, a goddess or something. You—”
He cut her off with another kiss, this time long and deep and intensely hot. One hand dove into her hair, cradling her skull in his palm and holding her just where he wanted her as his other arm slid around her waist to mold her against him. She was barely aware of him pressing her back on the couch until his body covered hers from chest to thigh. She gasped at the hard evidence of his desire pressing against her hip before he tore his mouth away.
“I gave up Olympus for you, endured unspeakable torment for you, risked the fury of every god for you. By Luna, I’m on my knees begging for you. How can you think, even for a single instant, that I don’t want you? Do you have any idea at all what you mean to me?”
She couldn’t speak. All she could do was look up at him with wide eyes that she knew revealed far too much.
His arms tightened at her hesitation. “I swear you’ll be happy with me, Renee. If you were my mate, no one would ever harm you again,” he said fiercely, the words tumbling out. “I’d kill anyone who tried. You’d never want for anything as long as you live. Tell me what you desire, anything you desire, and it’s yours. I’ll—”
Renee pressed her fingers to his lips, stilling his speech. “Shh, Eli. I don’t want your protection and I don’t want things.”
The desperation in his eyes grew. “What do you want? Name it, little one, and I swear I’ll get it for you. Anything.”
She shook her head. Hope bloomed in her heart as he laid his need bare. “You can’t buy me, but you can have me. All I want from you are three words. I’m sure you know which ones.”
It took a moment before the light dawned and Eli smiled, a genuine smile at last. “I’ll do better than words.” He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers. “Let me show you.”
Suddenly she was flooded with breathtaking emotion. Desire, joy, adoration, and fierce, overwhelming need. She felt his endless years of loneliness and his fear of more, all the more empty because of what he’d shared with her. Most of all, strongest of all, was love intense enough to terrify a god.
“I love you, Renee Hardin,” he whispered, unashamedly letting her experience everything he felt for her. “I need you. I worship you.” The words were a pale representation of such intense feeling but he repeated them over and over between soft, intoxicating kisses. She melted against him, wrapping her arms around his neck and wishing this moment could go on forever.
Long minutes later, Eli drew back and swore softly as he
rested his forehead against hers again. “You have me on the edge of reason here. I need you to say something soon, little one.”
Her breath was coming fast and every aching cell of her body wished he hadn’t stopped, but she tried to form a coherent sentence anyway. “What do you want me to say?” she asked, running her fingers through his hair. “I don’t recall a question being asked.”
He groaned and shifted his weight until he lay beside her instead of pinning her down. “I bare my heart and she teases me,” he complained, but she heard the smile in his voice. Renee laughed and kissed him before he pulled back and looked down at her, his dark eyes serious.
“Let me try again. I want your choice, Renee. I want your heart and your mind and your friendship. I want your love and your laughter and your trust. I want eternity with you beside me. I want the third exchange. You only want my words, but I…” He smiled a little and caressed her cheek. “I want everything.”
Her heart pounded. Hearing those words from his lips was a dream come true. He still hadn’t asked a question, but she answered it anyway. “Yes.”
Eli’s arms tightened around her. “Be sure,” he warned, but she saw the triumph flare in his eyes before he could hide it. “There is no going back, and even if there was I wouldn’t release you. If you have any doubts, leave me now while you can. I would hate myself for trapping you, but don’t think for a second that I would let you go. I’m not that noble.”
There wasn’t a doubt in her mind. She opened her thoughts to him and let him see it for himself. “I love you, Eli,” she murmured, and then he was kissing her again, worshipping her mouth as his hands moved over her with possessive tenderness.
He wrenched himself away after only a moment. “Not here,” he rasped when she moaned a protest. “The third exchange is sacred and I’ll be damned if we’re going to do this on a couch. I can control myself long enough to get you to the bed and make this what you deserve.”
Renee laughed in pure joy. He didn’t realize it, but he had challenged her again. Even as he lifted her in his arms, her mouth found the strong column of his throat, her tongue caressing his pounding pulse before scraping her teeth over the sensitive skin. His heart leapt against her breast. Her hands were busy pulling at his shirt, needing to feel his skin. With a little growl of impatience, she slipped one lengthened fingernail beneath his collar, slashing straight through the material and exposing his gorgeous chest to her caresses.
Eli groaned when she trailed a line of hot kisses across his skin. Suddenly Renee found herself pinned against the wall, caught between cold stone and his hot body, as he kissed her as though he wanted to devour her. She shoved at the offending material still clinging to his shoulders, raking her nails over his skin. His kiss grew more desperate when she wrapped her legs around his hips. She couldn’t resist shifting against him, a glorious friction that made them both moan.
He tore his mouth from hers. “You’re trying to make me lose my mind,” he groaned, but his hands cupped her rounded bottom to pull her more fully against his erection. She rewarded him with a long, slow wiggle that made his entire body shake and she reveled in her power over him.
“Glad you noticed,” she teased, finding one flat nipple with her mouth and swirling her tongue over it. He tightened his hold on her with a low hiss of pleasure and she smiled in pure feminine satisfaction. “How am I doing?”
“By the stars, woman, I want this to be perfect for you, not some wild tumble in the hall!”
She nuzzled her way to the other side of his chest, one hand slipping into the back pocket of his jeans and squeezing while the other slid between them to unbutton her blouse. “I don’t care where we are,” she whispered against his skin. “If you’re with me, it’s perfect.”
With a low oath, he pulled away from the wall and turned toward his bedroom again. Renee gave a sultry laugh and pressed her now-bare breasts against his chest as she reached down and unfastened the top button of his jeans with a flick of her fingers. Her fingertip dipped just beneath the denim, teasing his sensitive skin. “You’re obsessed with the bedroom,” she observed as he swore again and increased his pace.
“Only if you’re in it with me,” he shot back.
She heard a door crash open, felt the world spinning for a brief moment, and then she was flat on her back on a soft mattress with Eli looming over her while he claimed her mouth in a fiery kiss. She moaned with pleasure and gave herself up to his passion as he kissed her again and again, long, drugging kisses that inflamed every nerve in her body.
Suddenly he caught her wrists and pinned them above her head with one hand, leaving her stretched out before him like a pagan sacrifice. He broke away from her mouth and gave her a smile of pure, wicked seduction. “You have no idea how much I love the sight of you naked in my bed. I’ve dreamed of kissing every inch of your skin, little one, tying you to my bed and making you scream with pleasure. Tonight’s a night for fantasies. Are you ready to live a few of mine?”
She felt the impact of his sexy voice in a wave of heat and barely bit back a moan. “I want to touch you,” she breathed, devouring his gorgeous bare body with her gaze. She couldn’t remember when the rest of their clothing had disappeared. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was getting her hands on him as soon as possible. “Let me touch you, Eli.”
He drew her lower lip into his mouth for a bare instant, pulling back when she opened her mouth for a deeper kiss. “You will,” he assured her as his lips traced a fiery path down her throat. “But now it’s my turn to make you crazy.”
His voice alone was enough to send hot desire shooting through her body. His hands slipped down her arms in a long caress before sliding along her ribs. She tried to reach for him, thinking her hands would be free now, but her wrists were still fastened to the bed. He raised his gaze to hers with a grin so sexy it should have come with a warning label. “My turn,” he repeated before pressing his open mouth against her belly.
Renee moaned, her back arching. His hands spanned her waist to hold her still for his pleasure. His tongue flicked over her skin, moving slowly up to tease the underside of her breasts, then shifting to stroke a hot path along her hip. He circled her nipples without touching them, nipped her inner thigh but refused to move higher no matter how she moved or wiggled. She never knew where to expect his mouth next and the anticipation was excruciating. His hair slid over her skin in a silken caress that made her ache for more.
“Eli!” she moaned desperately.
His hands slid up to cup her breasts. “I love the way you say my name,” he murmured, the intensity of his voice making her shiver. His teeth scraped her collarbone, sharp and thrilling. “It makes me want to do all kinds of things to make you say it again and again.” His thumbs brushed her nipples once, the light touch driving the breath from her lungs. He chuckled low against her throat. “Hmm, I think you liked that,” he teased, doing it again.
She whimpered with pleasure, afraid she’d go up in flames if he didn’t do something to quench this fire soon.
His mouth traced the curve of her breast. “I wonder what wonderful sounds you would make if I did that with my tongue,” he mused, his breath teasing her nipple.
“Please,” she whispered, her body a molten pool of desire. Dear Lord, it was a fantasy, one of the hottest kind, and she was loving every second of it. “You’re killing me!”
He laughed again, the low vibration seeming to reach hidden nerve endings and stroke them. “We can’t have that,” he murmured an instant before drawing the taut peak into his mouth. She cried out with sheer pleasure as his tongue flicked her sensitive flesh. His teeth nipped gently and she writhed beneath him, pulling at her invisible bonds, but he wouldn’t be hurried. He took his time tasting her, sending sizzling electricity arcing through her entire body. His hand slowly caressed her other breast, her nipple hard and aching in his palm, begging for his attention. She made a small sound of protest when his mouth left her skin only to cry out again when he fou
nd her other nipple to subject it to the same sensual torture.
“Such sweetness,” he whispered against her skin. His tongue flicked, circled, teased.
His knee pressed between hers and she opened to him without hesitation, whimpering when his hand slid slowly up the sensitive skin of her thigh. His fingers reached the triangle of tight curls and teased mercilessly, never quite touching her where she burned no matter how she shifted her hips. “I wonder,” he said, leaving his feasting to look down at her with burning intensity, “do you taste this sweet everywhere?”
She gasped at the vivid mental image his words conjured. If his mouth touched her there, she wasn’t sure she would survive it. Still his fingers teased her, caressing and stroking, his dark eyes alive as he watched her pleasure. One finger suddenly slipped inside her and she thought she would lose her mind. “Eli!” she cried.
“Shall I taste you and find out?” he asked, his voice low and sexy. It sent another wave of pleasure shooting through her veins. His fingers dipped and caressed again. “Answer me, baby. Do you want my mouth on you?”
She knew he wouldn’t move unless she asked him. “Yes,” she moaned, unable to think of anything she wanted more. She saw the surge of triumphant satisfaction in his eyes before he lowered his head to kiss a hot path down her body. Every muscle clenched in anticipation, her body wound so tight she wanted to scream.
At the first touch of his tongue, her orgasm ripped through her, intense and raw. His mouth fastened on her and suddenly her hands were free but all she could do was tangle her fingers in his hair as he drove her back to the peak again and again, relentless in his assault on her senses. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t feel anything but Eli, and she never wanted it to end.
Suddenly he moved, crawling up her body like the predator he was until his erection pressed between her thighs. “I could eat you alive,” he growled in her ear just before filling her with one hard thrust and sinking his fangs deep as he linked with her mind, taking her in every way.
Amelia Elias - [Guardian's League 02] - Outcast Page 27
