by Ava March
All right, that was definitely but a step from a request for one of them to visit the other. Anthony’s confidence rose, the doubts falling away.
“Not far at all. And Eton’s even closer to Oxford than London. Barely forty miles, I believe.”
“Indeed.” And there was more than a hint of brightness to Gabriel’s voice. “One could depart around dawn and arrive before supper.”
Anthony waited a few moments. Should he offer to visit Gabriel at Oxford? Or would Gabriel wait until the end of the house party to extend an invitation to Anthony?
Yes, likely Gabriel would wait. There was no need to extend such an invitation...yet.
The trees gave way to a grassy field, the moon’s light once again limning Gabriel’s profile. Yet even though the width of the path no longer dictated that Gabriel walk so closely beside him, Gabriel didn’t put distance between them. If anything, Gabriel moved a shade closer.
Fingertips brushed Anthony’s in the barest glance of a touch, a mere glimpse of skin against skin. Then Gabriel slid his fingers between Anthony’s to take hold of his hand hanging at his side.
Anthony’s heart skipped a beat then swelled. He fancies me. Anthony wanted to grin like a damned fool, yet he managed to keep it inside. He didn’t even give Gabriel’s hand a squeeze. He merely held it, just as the man was doing with his own. With the trees behind them and nothing but vacant countryside before them, they were as utterly alone as if they were behind a locked door. They could indulge in so much more if they chose. But having Gabriel this close—almost intimately close—with their hands joined together was enough for Anthony...for now.
When silence fell over them once again, Anthony didn’t feel the need to break it. On the contrary, he savored it. The two of them walking hand in hand. The nervousness and uncertainty long gone. He felt secure with Gabriel. Silly word to use, but it fit.
Their feet swooshed softly through the grass as they made their way across the field. The pond stretched out before them, its still surface a silvery-black mirror reflecting the stars above. Upon reaching the bank, they stopped.
A moment passed.
“Shall we just dive in, then?” Anthony asked.
“If you’d like.”
Close enough to a yes. Anthony slipped his hand from Gabriel’s to tug on the knot of his own cravat. He whipped the length of linen from his neck and let it fall to the grassy bank. His fingers worked lightning-quick to undo the buttons of his coat and waistcoat. “Hot as Hades tonight, and damned stifling.” Which was the truth. But really? Anthony wanted Gabriel out of his clothes and in the water. And he figured the quicker he did that himself, the quicker Gabriel would follow suit.
He kicked his shoes free, pushed his trousers and smallclothes to his feet. The hell with it if Gabriel caught a glimpse of his semi-hard cock. Now was not the time for modesty.
He slapped Gabriel on the upper arm. “Come along.” Then Anthony was running into the water, diving beneath the surface.
The summer hadn’t been an extraordinarily hot one, just the recent days. So the water still held a chill to it. Not so cold as to cause one to shiver, but refreshingly cool.
Breaking the surface, he got to his feet. The bottom of the pond squished between his toes. The water gently lapping at his waist, he pushed his wet hair out of his eyes. He turned toward the bank and found Gabriel still standing stock-still, every article of clothing still in place.
Well, Gabriel had been the one to invite him for a swim. And swim the man would do, if Anthony had anything to say about it.
“Aren’t you coming in?”
A pause. “Yes.”
“Do you plan to swim in your coat?”
“No.”
“Well then...” Anthony waited a moment. Gabriel didn’t move a muscle. Perhaps modesty was getting the better of him. If that was the case... “Shall I help you along?” He took a step forward, and cupping his hands, he splashed water in Gabriel’s direction.
“Hey!” Gabriel protested, but there wasn’t any annoyance in his voice.
“If you don’t want to get wet, best to remove those clothes,” Anthony teased, taking another step toward the bank and sending another spray of water at Gabriel.
“All right, all right,” Gabriel said with a chuckle, his hands going to the buttons on his coat.
Just to make certain Gabriel didn’t dally, Anthony kept splashing at him. Small splashes without enough force to actually reach Gabriel or to obscure Anthony’s view, but enough to keep Gabriel’s hands moving.
Because now that Anthony had prodded Gabriel to undress, he didn’t want the man to stop until he was as naked as the day he was born.
An amused smile curved Gabriel’s lips as he shrugged his coat and waistcoat from his shoulders. Then the cravat joined Anthony’s on the bank. Then shoes and trousers and the flash of white smallclothes. With the long tails of his shirt hanging down, covering his groin, Gabriel paused.
“Come along. Water’s fantastic.” Another splash, this one heavier, the sound cracking around them and sending fat droplets onto Gabriel’s white shirt.
“Hey!” Another chuckle from Gabriel as he quickly took a step back in a failed effort to avoid the splash. “You’ll regret that.”
And then the shirt was fluttering to the bank to join the piles of discarded clothing and Gabriel was darting into the pond, diving in, his sleek bare body disappearing under the water.
Anthony’s lips pursed in annoyance. He’d been so looking forward to seeing Gabriel naked, and he hadn’t got more than a flash of a glimpse. Bloody unfair. Ah well. The getting out and getting dressed part was still to come.
And speaking of Gabriel, where had he gone? Anthony passed his gaze over the still surface of the pond. Gabriel could swim, right? The man had suggested they go for a swim and he’d dove straight in—
A hand closed around Anthony’s calf and tugged hard, throwing him off balance and plunging him underwater.
He found his footing and stood to find Gabriel in the spot where Anthony had just been standing, a broad smile on his face and not simply chuckling, but honest-to-God laughing.
The sound was heaven to Anthony’s ears.
Rather than stand there like a dumbstruck fool, Anthony shoved at Gabriel’s chest. “Bastard,” he said, with a laugh.
“As if you hadn’t earned it.”
“Perhaps. Still...” He wasn’t of a mind to fully concede he’d earned a good dunking. Instead, he made to shove at Gabriel’s chest again.
Gabriel caught hold of him by the biceps, his grip gentle and secure at the same time. And it was as if everything—the entire world—stopped and went silent.
There was only the two of them. Just him and Gabriel. And the lack of sunlight couldn’t hide the pure longing in Gabriel’s eyes.
A shiver passed over Anthony’s skin. A shiver that had nothing to do with the cool water.
The hands on Anthony’s upper arms loosened their grip. Then one hand slowly, ever so slowly, began to slide up.
“You were right,” Gabriel murmured, his voice a soft, intimate rumble. That hand coasted over Anthony’s shoulder. “The water is fantastic.”
Anthony could only nod, a dazed bob of his head. Gabriel’s lashes were spiky wet, framing those beautiful eyes that were focused on Anthony. A droplet of water clung to the smooth plane of Gabriel’s cheek.
Was it his wishful imagination, or was Gabriel leaning closer to him?
Gabriel’s palm drifted up to cup Anthony’s jaw.
And it struck him—Gabriel was going to kiss him.
A bolt of—hell, he couldn’t even put a word to it—jolted through his entire body. His heart slammed against his ribs.
He reached out—careful, slow, not wanting to break the moment. Wanting with every fiber of his be
ing to commit this moment to memory. To have it with him forever.
Anthony settled his hands on Gabriel’s waist. He felt a tremor rack Gabriel. Emboldened by the desire he could feel within Gabriel, Anthony tilted his chin up, silently begging for a kiss.
“Anthony.” The name was more breath than sound, low and reverent.
Gabriel leaned even closer to him. Anthony lifted up onto his toes, breaching the distance to Gabriel’s gorgeous mouth.
Warm breath brushed across his face an instant before soft lips pressed against his.
* * *
The wooden ball rolled under the short steel arch. Dropping his mallet, Pearce turned to Anthony and grinned. “Victory! I told you I was the king of pall-mall.”
Anthony gave him a half bow. “Good show, my humble friend.”
Pearce strode to him and clapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t tell me you’re sore over the loss?”
“Never,” Anthony said with a good-natured laugh. “You did warn me of your prowess with the mallet, after all.”
“That I did. I best Stephan every time I can get him to play against me, and he gets right sore when he loses. But that’s the best part. Getting him in a snit and all.”
Anthony could see how that would be the case. Pearce’s eldest brother was quite full of himself.
They picked up their mallets and balls, and put them back under the old birch tree for anyone else who wished to play after them. The game had been fun, though Anthony hadn’t been all that focused on winning. His thoughts had been elsewhere.
He cast his gaze over the back lawn and terrace. Where had Gabriel gone? The man had been over near the refreshment table when Anthony and Pearce had started their game. Anthony would have preferred to spend the day with Gabriel, yet Pearce had been so eager to play pall-mall and since Anthony was his guest, he hadn’t felt it kind to refuse his friend.
Yet now he’d gone and lost Gabriel. Not that he could say he’d had Gabriel today. Gabriel had come down late for breakfast and the only available chair at the table had been five down from Anthony. And ever since the house party had moved outside, one person after another had occupied Anthony’s time. Anthony hadn’t even been able to say so much as “good day” to Gabriel yet.
But that mattered not. What mattered was what had happened last night.
Gabriel had kissed him. Had even held him close. His strong arms wrapped around Anthony, lips pressed to Anthony’s, a sense of absolute and compete rightness flooding Anthony’s entire body.
He’s the one for me.
There was no doubt in Anthony’s mind. That hadn’t been just an empty kiss last night. The kiss had sealed them together more securely than words ever could.
“Care to grab a bite to eat?” Pearce’s voice broke through Anthony’s thoughts.
Anthony focused on his friend. “I’m not quite hungry yet. You go on ahead. I’ll meet you up later.”
With a shrug, Pearce headed toward the refreshment table. He’d never been one to let anything stand between himself and a meal. Not that Anthony had ever minded, and especially not at that moment.
He checked the clusters of adolescents and adults scattered about the back lawn again. No sign of Gabriel. Then again, Gabriel tended to avoid social gatherings. Maybe he had gone off on his own for a bit.
Deciding to check the rose garden first before trying the stables and billiard room, Anthony trudged off across the lawn, giving the Sherringham sisters a wide berth so he wouldn’t get pulled into their conversation.
Anthony had known he preferred men for the past couple of years. Rather hard to deny it when his masturbatory fantasies all centered on naked men, with Gabriel starring in the vast majority of them. At first he had been quite disconcerted, afraid he’d never be able to have someone to love and love him in return. That his future would be bleak and void of the happiness he longed for. But then he’d realized his future would simply be with a man.
He had found that man last night.
And this wasn’t mere infatuation. This was love. He was certain of it. There was no other way to describe the feeling floating through his body.
As he followed the path through the rose garden, retracing his steps from twelve hours before, he contemplated the logistics of the next two years. There were plenty of inns surrounding Eton and Oxford. During school terms, it wouldn’t be difficult for either himself or Gabriel to slip away for a night or two. They should be able to arrange it so they could see each other every fortnight or so. And during summers, he could get Pearce to invite him out to their country estate, or Anthony could invite Gabriel to visit Hawkins Hall. It wasn’t like Somerset was in Northumberland. And once he was done with Eton, he would have far more freedom. He could visit Oxford for a week at a time, or even longer. Hell, he could take apartments in Oxford instead of London. They could have a place of their own.
The image went through his mind of Gabriel walking through the door after a day of lessons, a smile on his face upon seeing Anthony waiting for him. The kiss Gabriel would bestow upon him...
A sigh of pure happiness filled Anthony’s chest.
The knowledge they would need to keep their relationship a secret did nothing to diminish the light, airy feeling washing his senses. They would figure out a way to be together. He had absolutely no doubt.
And today was another bright, sunny day. Not a cloud in the sky. Looked like tonight would hold another opportunity to take a walk to the pond with Gabriel.
And maybe, just maybe, Gabriel would do more than kiss him tonight.
The prospect of Gabriel wrapping those long, elegant fingers around Anthony’s cock, of Anthony returning the favor...
Lust pooled in his groin, pushing him to quicken his pace. Anthony craned his neck, trying to look over the tall rosebushes. Where the hell had Gabriel gone?
He rounded the bend, then stopped dead in his tracks.
There, in a clearing beneath an oak tree, was a couple locked in an embrace. The woman’s arms were draped over the man’s shoulders, their bodies pressed tight together. Though Anthony could only see the man’s back, it was obvious the two were engaged in a passionate kiss.
Anthony’s lungs stopped functioning.
No!
That single word reverberated in his head.
It couldn’t be him. Couldn’t possibly. He had kissed Anthony last night. Had held his hand and kissed him. Yet Anthony could not deceive himself.
Anthony knew that chestnut brown head, knew those shoulders, knew the trim waist highlighted by a neatly tailored blue coat that was a shade lighter than navy. He flexed his hands at his sides, the feel of Gabriel’s water-slicked skin fresh on his palms.
No, no, no!
Somehow, Anthony kept the agony inside. Kept the pain from voicing itself as his heart slammed to the dirt path beneath his feet, breaking into a hundred tiny pieces. Those plans he had been making crumbled as well, vanishing into dust.
As his eyes began to prick with the threat of impending tears, he forced himself to study the woman. Golden blond hair, slight of height and the sprigged cotton skirt of her day dress...
Charlotte Dunlop. He’d seen her not an hour ago chatting with Stephan on the terrace.
He wanted to scream, to shout. To rail at Gabriel. To rip Gabriel away from her and pound his fists on Gabriel’s chest. Bloody bastard! I love you! How could you do this to me?
Yet Anthony kept his jaw locked shut.
A tremor began in his hands, worked its way up his arms. Before the sob building within like a mighty thunderstorm could work its way past his lips, he turned on his heel.
With tears blurring his vision, he took a right at the fork in the path. He couldn’t return to the house now. Not in this state.
The small forest. Yes, he could loop back around the rose gard
en, go there. No one had any reason to be amongst the trees now. No one but him.
No wonder Gabriel hadn’t taken the opportunity last night to extend an invitation for Anthony to visit him at Oxford. Gabriel hadn’t truly wanted him. Where their time at the pond had meant so much to Anthony, he’d only been a diversion to Gabriel. A way to pass the hot summer evening. Akin to a late-night grope session with a random boy at Eton. Gabriel had really wanted her all along.
Cool shadows enveloped him as he entered the forest. He was a fool and an idiot...well, he already knew that. And he should have remembered it last night. Shouldn’t have even allowed himself to hope.
Letting himself drop to his knees, he huddled behind the thick trunk of a large tree. And he couldn’t hold back the sobs any longer.
Chapter One
September 1822—Seven Years Later
London, England
“Good evening, my lord,” Anthony’s butler said as the man closed the front door of the town house. “The ladies are upstairs at their toilettes.”
“But of course. Perfection takes time, after all.”
To which Markson merely blinked, obviously uncertain how to respond. One would think after so many years in service to the Hawkins household that Markson would have adjusted to the family by now. The man took his job too seriously. Still, it was fun to rattle him on occasion.
Anthony took pity on the elderly man and gave him a smile. “No slight intended on the ladies. I’ll wait for them in my study.”
Taking off his white evening gloves, he made his way up the staircase. As he took a right at the first-floor landing, he collided with his younger brother. Reaching out, Anthony briefly grabbed Simon’s shoulder to keep the boy from falling back onto his arse. At barely five feet eight inches in height, his brother had the same slight build as their sister and mother.
“Apologies, Anthony.” Simon wasn’t dressed in evening blacks, but in a plain brown coat and tan waistcoat.
Not that Anthony had expected Simon to accompany them to the musicale tonight. Even though Simon was nineteen years of age and old enough to play the role of escort for their mother and sister, he avoided social functions whenever possible. The leather gloves on his hands, though, indicated he wasn’t merely going down to the kitchen for a bite to eat. “No need to apologize. Going somewhere?”
